2019 West / White: The Big House

No draft review, no keeper core rankings, I’ve been negligent on all things MnB! I mean, aside from quitting. The real reason for all the delay is a writing deadline but damn the torpedos, let’s get a quick in-season look at some of the teams at least. We’ll start with a peak into The Big House, which has all four teams riding high at 2-1 for the season. [ 2018 Preview ]

Team Name, Current Record (Past two regular season)

MoRRie’s Pogiboys, 2-1 (10-3, 9-4)
Already in familiar territory, Pogiboys are leading the league with 115.7 points per game —outpacing the 107.0 points they put up last regular season, which was the best PF in the past five years — and could possibly be headed toward a fourth straight division title. But who cares about division titles?!? Certainly not Alvin. After making another Super Bowl appearance last season, the Pogis were upset in the big game and are still looking for a ring. Sigh…

The Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce connection will keep the fans thrilled, and having Nick Chubb solidify himself as a top ten runner has been a delight for a team that's needed a lead RB for awhile. Add in DeAndre Hopkins, the surprising Chris Godwin, and 2019 RD1.15 Curtis Samuel to give Mahomes even more targets to throw to and Pogis are stacked. In addition, the Patriots defense is the best in the fantasy so far and there's really no sign of any slowing down for them, or for Pogis. It’ll be a long few months ahead -- especially for any UMich fans, ahem -- but Alvin should already have his sights onto what he can do to finally capture that elusive championship.

The Autumn Wind, 2-1 (6-7, 7-6)
Our newest owner has hit the ground running and has already proven his bonafides, averaging a sterling 112.8 points per game, good for second in the league. Could it be possible that Aaron will challenge for a division title in his first year out, with an inherited roster that he’s barely had time to tweak? How far can The Autumn Wind get in their first go-around in MnB?

Dalvin Cook has emerged early on as the best fantasy running back around, while quarterback Dak Prescott has been incredible while playing for a contract. It looks like passing on Kyler Murray was the right choice here, even as 2019 number one overall pick Josh Jacobs has dipped after his historic opening game. If Jacobs can prove himself again soon, he and Cook will form a formidable one-two punch — even as Todd Gurley seems to be very limited in his playing time so far.

Meanwhile, on the receivers end, Larry Fitzgerald has rejuvenated himself under Murray’s arm while Calvin Ridley has been good to start off the year. Darren Waller was the second tight end Aaron drafted at RD5.7 but so far he’s been the best option here, especially after a huge WK3 that pushed him up to a top five TE ranking. This all sounds quite solid and we predict smooth sailing ahead for TAW.

Ann Arbor Bamfers, 2-1 (6-7, 7-6)
The Bamfers are coming off their third straight playoff appearance and have solidified themselves as the second best team in the division over the past three seasons. After years of futility and one of the worst all-time franchise records in MnB history, Randy’s team is now ready to take the next step and get a playoff win, which they haven’t done since 2012. They’ve been ousted in the first round each of the past three seasons — by Pogiboys, Pogiboys, and Grrrrrific — and will look for some postseason success now that they’ve stabilized their regular seasons. Note: A thrilling 96.5 to 95.0 win in WK1 was a super way to start off their year!

Draft pick 3.9 Mark Andrews has been the second best tight end on this young season, and heck, Austin Hooper has been the sixth best at that position as well, which gives Bamfers a stellar TE duo. Throw in receivers Tyrell Williams and Marvin Jones Jr. doing a few nice things — plus the eventual return of Golden Tate from suspension — and the passing attack is in pretty decent hands too, as piloted by Philip Rivers.

The problem is that there’s no real run game here, with not much hope on the way. Melvin Gordon continues to hold out and sophomore Sony Michel was recently called “the worst starting runner back” in the league by none other than Bill Simmons. So yeah, Gordon is going to have to come back quickly if Bamfers want to elevate themselves to the next level. For now, they’re averaging a respectable 82.6 points and are near even for PA/PF, which should help them get into another postseason!

Team Cameltoe, 2-1 (7-6, 6-7)
After two lower scoring games to open the season at 1-1, Cameltoe went over a hundred points last week to take down Pogiboys, which had to feel great for Felipe as Pogi had eliminated them last year in the opening round of the playoffs. After a five and six win season, last year’s 7-6 record and postseason appearance was still a successful one for Cameltoe, and they look like they’ll be slugging it out with everyone else in the division for another playoff showing. Currently they’re averaging a respectable 83.0 points, outscoring opponents by a PA of ten per game.

Julio Jones just signed a huge guaranteed deal and is now adding plenty of touchdowns to his stat line. He's been the leader of a talented Cameltoe receiving corps that includes keeper Christian Kirk, 2019 RD2.10 Courtland Sutton, and the still fast RD6.10 DeSean Jackson. That should give Jared Goff enough targets on the season, even if Goff has yet to really show what he’s capable of, as he’s barely playing better than backup Derek Carr.

Running back Mark Ingram has been incredible as he’s averaged 21.0 ppg and is the fourth best RB so far. Add in Marlon Mack doing top-seven RB things and the ground game for Cameltoe is looking fantastic. Tyler Eifert continues to be a tease, as does Trey Burton, but a few points here and there may not matter at the tight end position. It’s an ultra-tough Big House division this season, but as Felipe has already proven by toppling Pogiboys early on: anyone can take it!

2018 East / Gold: Green and White

 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (2-11, 3-10)
We thought 2016’s three-win season was bad? How about two wins?! Two years in a row of the worst record in the league — albeit tied for worst last season — and the Armada doesn’t strike fear in anybody. The good news is last year’s number one selection, Christian McCaffrey is set up for a big sophomore year and there’s hope that keepers Derrick Henry and Kenyan Drake will give this team at least a bit of punch in the run game. Kenny Golladay has talent, and is similar to a young Alshon Jeffery, but this receiving corps is unproven. Toward that end, GM Mike took the gamble on Josh Gordon at 1.3, and that will go a long way toward determining if Xur can climb out of the cellar.

We like sleeper tight end Trey Burton (2.2) and Sterling Shepard (3.2) but am wondering why the double defense, Eagles (4.2) and Packers (9.2). Surely there was other talent to mine? Still, this team is set up get at least four wins this season, and if Matthew Stafford stumbles, Eli Manning will be there to back him up. Let’s hope for the best for Xur this season!

Mandalorian Warriors (4-8-1, 6-7)
Another Gold division team going backwards, Warriors have sunk to four wins and haven’t had a winning season since 2013. Matt again had no RD1 this season, and entered the draft with Case Keenum as their starter, so it made sense to grab Matt Ryan (2.14) with their second rounder — recall that Aaron Rodgers was essentially gifted away at the beginning of last season, as neither Marcus Mariota nor Davonte Freeman made the keeper cut.

The Warriors seem to be in win now mode though, as they stretched for Stephen Gostkowski (3.5) early and none of the following picks express much upside — Theo Riddick (5.5) and oft-injured Tyler Eifert (6.5). In fact the biggest future play Warriors made was in selecting controversial quarterback Josh Allen (8.5), who will now play third string. The once mighty keeper core is getting older, with Pierre Garcon and Julian Edelman as its big names, and while JuJu Smith-Schuster and tight end Cameron Brate could be good, it seems like this teams needs talent now! Oh right, there’s also James White as the third-down back here. Should we pencil Warriors in for another Toilet Bowl?

Stink Pink Gators (9-4, 7-6)
It looks like Dave’s first season in Maize and Blue was a complete success! Finishing as a top five team and leading MnB in scoring, Stink Pink’s rookie season was derailed by a Carson Wentz injury and a first-round exit to the eventual champs. Not bad for a first showing!

The passing attack of Wentz, AJ Green, Jarvis Landry, Zach Ertz, and rookie find Adam Thielen looks fantastic, and a pre-draft trade to bring in Jay Ajayi and dump Mark Ingram officially makes this team the MnB Eagles. If anyone has any spare Eagles, trade them to Stink Pink now! The ground game could be further bolstered by Dave’s first three selections: Rashaad Penny (1.12), Peyton Barber (2.12), and Jordan Wilkins (3.12). Alex Smith and Jack Doyle are overqualified backups and we love Keelan Cole (6.12) as a late pick.  It looks like Stink Pink could challenge for the division title yet again!

Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-3-1, 9-4)
It took four years and two shots at it, but Alan has finally reached the apex of Maize and Blue. Last year’s thrilling comeback in Super Bowl XIII was the stuff of dreams and now Sweep the Leg will have Odell Beckham back for the whole season. The sky’s the limit here! Drew Brees will have ODB, Rob Gronkowski, Marvin Jones, and Sammy Watkins to throw to, with Devonta Freeman providing a strong ground game. Will the league ever hear the end of it if Alan wins again?!

Sweep went for high value veterans in the draft, taking the entire Jets backfield, Isaiah Crowell (3.14) and Bilal Powell (4.6) in back-to-back rounds, and then filled out the roster with some speculative receivers and Andy Dalton (6.14) and Blake Bortles (8.7), just in case Brees stumbles. The best pick from our 2017 champs though? The draft-and-stash of Derrius Guice (1.14), which gives Alan something to look forward to after their possible repeat title. League beware… Is a dynasty around the corner?

2018 West / White: The Big House

Team Cameltoe (6-7, 5-8)
In the last eight seasons, Cameltoe has gone over 0.500 just once, in 2015 — they did win the division in 2014 though. Last year’s six wins was better than 2017, but not by much. Getting upset by Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada in the first round of the Toilet Bowl was painful too, and not having yet another first rounder hampered their chances at top talent. Still, we like Felipe’s draft of Devin Funchess (2.7), Christian Kirk (3.7), and Cameron Meredith (4.7). Should just one of them hit, keeper quarterback duo Russell Wilson and Jared Goff will have an extra piece to throw to, on top of Julio Jones and Jordy Nelson [Edit: Actually Jordy is on Zabka, Marlon Mack was Cameltoe's sixth keeper.]

Jordan Howard is a great power runner but doesn’t catch many passes, and that seems to be a theme for Cameltoe running backs, as neither keeper CJ Anderson nor Adrian Peterson (5.7) are known for their smooth pass catching skills. There’s some talent on this team but we’ll have to see if coach Felipe can get them to a winning season and pilot Cameltoe back to proper respectability.

Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6, 9-4)
The Bamfers have been to the playoffs back-to-back before, but 2012-13 was on the heels of five and six win seasons. It must feel good then to not only go the playoffs back-to-back, but finally have repeat winning seasons! However, Randy’s crew has run into Pogiboys three times in their last three playoff appearances and been bounced by Pogi each time.

The Chargers duo of Philip Rivers and Melvin Gordon are very nice, while Golden Tate and Delanie Walker are solid options at their position. 2017’s late pick Allen Hurns got injured but showed enough to become a keeper, however Randall Cobb’s days of fantasy relevance could be close to over. With that in mind, Randy went with some young receivers and tight ends in the draft: Marqise Lee (3.10), Tyrell Williams (5.10), Quincy Enunwa (10.10), Mike Gesicki (7.1), and Benjamin Watson (9.10) — who is okay, not that young at thirty-seven.

We have to question the selection of two kickers though! Greg Zuerlein (4.10) is great but why bring in Steeler Chris Boswell (6.10) two rounds later? Still, Bamfers has proven its winning ways and first round pick Sony Michel could prove to be a nice addition to the backfield too. Let’s hope Bamfers don’t disappear from contention after two solid campaigns!

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6, 4-9)
After never getting more than five wins in a season, Ouroboros finally put together a winning record — in their sixth year of ownership, ouch. And not only that, skipped la-dee-la all the way to the champion game, coming within a few points of taking the title! All it took for this franchise turnaround? A Toilet Bowl win in 2016 and the trade up in 2015 for Todd Gurley. Even if the trade down of 2017’s top pick resulted in an injured Dalvin Cook and erratic Joe Mixon, this keeper core suddenly has some oomph on the ground. In fact, the entire keeper core consisted of Dak Prescott, Jacksonville defense, and three running backs.

Pre-draft but post-keeper, Jon moved up the draft board again, moving Jerick McKinnon to Pogiboys for essentially Calvin Ridley (1.5) and Larry Fitzgerald. Ouroboros used their own first rounder on rookie Ronald Jones (1.7) and then moved to grab some receivers to flesh out this passing game: Robby Anderson (2.9) and Josh Doctson (3.9). Two more rookie runners joined the team, Nyheim Hines (4.9) and Karen Ballage (5.9) so it’s looking likely Jon is just going to put out an all-RB team. Can Ouroboros sustain their success or were they just a flash in the pan?

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4, 9-4)
Yawn. Pogiboys won a division for the eleventh time, they were looking for a title, they got upset in the playoffs. What else is new? For Alvin’s team, a ring is the only thing. The core is fantastic, with DeAndre Hopkins and Travis Kelce rising to the tops of their respective positions, and bolstered by LeSean McCoy in the backfield, and underrated Doug Baldwin, this team has the goods. Larry Fitzgerald was shipped out for Jerick McKinnon and the new man under center is Patrick Mahomes, who replaces Matt Ryan and could face a quarterback battle from NFL #1 overall Baker Mayfield (4.15)

The draft also brought in Tarik Cohen (2.3), Chris Thompson (2.13), John Brown (4.13), Dede Westbrook (5.13), John Ross (6.13), D’Onta Foreman (7.9), and the Zabka favorite Jake Butt (7.13), but will any of this matter? When it hits December, how will these Pogis perform?

2018 East / Blue: Ohana

Italian Stallionz (4-9, 6-7)
The road back to respectability is filled with potholes, as Stallionz went from five wins in 2015, six wins in 2016, and then dipped to four wins in 2017. The good news is Porta’s team has Aaron Rodgers. Plus Tyreek Hill, who is a threat to score every time he touches the ball. The bad news is, that might be about it. Keepers Tevin Coleman and Jamaal Williams project as split-time backs, Michael Crabtree is now an old Raven, and I literally have no idea who sixth keeper Austin Ekeler is. (Then again, this prognosticator kept a DST so who am I to say anything!)

Stallionz need some talent fast and they got it, with Alex Collins (1.4), Chris Carson (2.5), and Rishard Matthews (3.3). All three are starters on their teams and could become productive pieces immediately. Later picks like rookie Tre’Quan Smith (4.3), retread Ryan Grant (6.3), and DJ Chark are shots in the dark but perfect for this team. If Rodgers can return to form, Stallionz could hit on the right pieces and go from the bottom of the cellar to challenging for their first ever division title. Let’s go!

Fockers (7-6, 7-6)
Seven wins got Fockers to a title in 2016 but that same win total dumped them into the Toilet Bowl last season, and then they were upset by a lower seed. Still, this is a contender, and with a keeper core of Le’Veon Bell, Demaryius Thomas, last year’s great RD1 Davante Adams, and Jimmy Graham, Fockers could easily get back into the playoffs. Andrew Luck has to stay healthy though, no questions asked, and without a first or third rounder this year, GM Hong took Ben Roethlisberger (2.8) early, another oft-injured quarterback.

Matt Breida (4.8) could serve as an injury replacement if McKinnon gets dinged up, LeGarrette Blount (5.8) will score touchdowns, and maybe Latavius Murray (8.8) has some grind left. Receivers Mohamed Sanu and Travis Benjamin are low end options but likely useable in a pinch. This team is still dangerous so we’ll see where Hong can take them this year behind some Luck. Oh yeah, Dez Bryant was a keeper. Dez Bryant, who isn’t yet on a NFL team… Didn’t want to keep Devin Funchess or Dion Lewis, or really, anyone else?!?

Squirtle Squad (8-5, 4-9)
The rebuild off a four-win 2017 may already be over! Squirtles catapulted themselves to a playoff spot last season and then promptly upset first seed 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears in the first round! That’s a hell of a season and Squirtles fans are ready to claim their contender status again.

The new keeper core is young young young, and already very productive. Of course Alvin Kamara’s rookie year was the highlight but the return to form of Keenan Allen was a highlight too. Amari Cooper and last year’s first rounder, Corey Davis, are still a little boom-bust, but they are both very talented. Allen Robinson has been very erratic but he could be interesting. And heck, GM Brian was so confident in Jimmy Garoppolo’s future that he traded Tom Brady away for a pittance.

Brian liked the “go young” strategy so much that he went that way again, with rookie Nick Chubb (1.11), Anthony Miller, another rookie Courtlant Sutton (4.11), and some no-names like Ricky Seals-Jones (5.11) and James Conner (6.11) that clearly have upside potential if Squirtles drafted them -- plus Duke Johnson (4.5) acquired from an earlier trade with Mandalorian Warriors. And then with in the last round, Brian draft-and-stashed Hunter Henry, a brilliant move. Welcome back Squirtles to the land of the living!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3, 10-3)
It’s been a long four years since Pooh Bears have won their last title. A ninth division title is nice but getting bounced in the first round is not. After yet another year as the best regular season team in Maize and Blue, J and Jayvee are thirsting for more rings. Last year’s campaign even featured the suspension of Ezekiel Elliot and the absence of David Johnson. This year Pooh’s ceiling might be an undefeated season!

Cam Newton and Deshaun Watson are back to lead the charge — although only one can play at a time — and Johnson/Elliot plus Antonio Brown and Mike Evans are clearly the best combination of skill position core in MnB. With seven picks in this year’s first three rounds Pooh Bears should be overstocked with talent.

Rookie DJ Moore (1.8) and Marquise Goodwin (1.9), plus David Njoku (1.16) in the first. Another rookie wide, Antonio Callway (2.16) in the second. And then Kenny Stills, Tyler Lockett, and Corey Clement in RD3, all youngish veterans with potential. Pooh had another seven picks in the draft after those first three rounds, but really, who cares! If this team can’t win another title soon, what justice is there in the world?!

2018 West / Red: Knights Who Say Ni

P Funk All Stars (2-11, 9-4)
When did this division get so awful? P Funk actually won the 2016 division title behind a nine win campaign but then promptly collapsed to the worst team in the league — that was their fourth two-win season, plus two one-win seasons. We’re gonna go ahead and say that 2016 was an outlier and treat P Funk as still rebuilding.

Paolo’s keepers have never been good, and this year is no different. Derek Carr is looking for a bounce back year — devoid of Amari Cooper, who was traded away early in 2017 — and Marshawn Lynch and Lamar Miller as the starting backfield won’t sell many tickets. DaVante Parker could get more work with Jarvis Landry gone in Miami, and Evan Engram is a decent tight end, and sure, pre-draft acquisition Kelvin Benjamin is okay, but what’s to get excited about here?

How about an all-in young guy makeover!? Yes! With high picks all over, GM Paolo took Royce Freeman (1.2), Sam Darnold (2.1), and Cooper Kupp (2.11) off the board. Not bad! But then the auto-draft started in RD5, as P Funk nabbed two kickers and a defense in RD5-7. Well, we are at least semi-excited about Martavis Bryant’s (10.1) comeback potential in Oakland?

Team Grrrrific (4-9, 4-9)
Inheriting a team that hasn’t had a winning record since 2011 ain’t easy but new owner Donny was up to the challenge. While the wins remained the same, Team Grrrrific’s core looks, dare I say it, terrific! I mean, when you draft at the top of the draft — after Grrrrific’s 2017 Toilet Bowl win — and get the consensus number-one player, Saquon Barkley, your rebuild path is going to get a lot brighter.

Combine Barkley with last year’s spot-on trade acquisition of Kareem Hunt, plus this year’s pre-draft trade for Mark Ingram, and this running game is looking incredibly solid. Is there better one-two punches in the league? Not many! We’ll see how quarterback keeper Marcus Mariota fares as the starter, and if he stumbles, Donny was careful to invest only a lowly pick on his backup, Tyrod Taylor (10.4).

Mariota will have some intriguing receiving pieces to work with in injury returnee Mike Williams,  new New England white guy Chris Hogan, and deep threat Will Fuller. The draft added Robert Woods (2.4), Jamison Crowder (3.4), and OJ Howard (4.4) and perpetual tease Austin Seferian-Jenkins (8.4). THere’s injury risks everywhere but this team is suddenly chock-full of talent and it’s been an incredibly fast rebuild. To think, just one year ago this team’s best keeper was Isaiah Crowell! The days of four-win seasons are likely way over in Grrrrific-land!

Jedi Knights (5-8, 4-9)
Once upon a time, the Jedis were good. We were hoping 2016’s four-win season was just an aberration but a five-win follow up proves it: the Sith are winning. But GM Chris isn’t going down without a fight. In a soft division, just acquiring Tom Brady, via pre-draft trade, could be enough to challenge Another Bad Creation. There’s still a lot of fall-out from the disastrous 2015 trade for Marshawn Lynch and Chris didn’t get a pick until RD3.

Still, we love the selection of Lamar Jackson (5.6) as the Brady replacement — even if Mitchell Trubisky was also tagged as a keeper — and Nelson Agholor (3.6) can run fast, but really a keeper core of TY Hilton, Emmanuel Sanders, Greg Olsen, and Carlos Hyde won’t scare anyone, that’s for sure. Can later picks Paul Richardson (6.6), Giovani Bernard (9.6), and Doug Martin (10.6) prove that they just aren’t low ceiling guys? Yup, it looks like it’ll be up to Brady to lead this ragtag bunch back to 0.500.

Another Bad Creation (10-3, 8-5)
Winning must be easy when the rest of your division only combines for eleven wins. ABC had an incredible 2015 title run, while ostensibly “rebuilding,” and now they are just milking all their extra draft picks. Three first rounders produced rookie Kerryon Johnson (1.6), Brandin Cooks (1.13), and Dion Lewis (1.15). Another spare RD2 netted rookie receiver Michael Gallup, who could soon take over in Cowboy land. Add in tight end George Kittle (3.15) and ABC’s first few draft picks might be better than some of our keeper cores!

Oliver’s real team boasts last year’s number one overall, Leonard Fournette, an explosive duo of Michael Thomas and Stefon Diggs, and perhaps the injury return to form of Jordan Reed. Rex Burkhead is a decent pass-catching option, and Kirk Cousins finally got out from under a franchise tag and will now stop complaining. Add in a guy named Geronimo (6.15) and this presumptive division champs are ready for title contention again!

West / Red: Knights Who Say Ni

Team Grrrrific (4-9)
It’s gonna be an uphill battle for new owner Donny as he inherited a keeper core of Isaiah Crowell, Matt Forte, Kenny Britt, Pierre Garcon, and Spencer Ware. See any current or potential stars in there? Noooope! As a veteran fantasy player though, GM Donny went right to work, flipping a future pick for Jamison Crowder and thus getting some intriguing youth for the future. In the draft, he took Dalvin Cook at 1.3, followed that up with draft and semi-stash rookie Mike Williams in RD2, and then started working to get some competitive players on-board in the form of Darren McFadden, Chris Hogan, Eric Ebron, Jay Cutler, Jason Witten, and Giovani Bernard. Injuries have been both kind and mean to Grrrrific, as Julian Edelman’s season ending injury now gives Hogan an increased role. On the other hand, Spencer Ware is now out for the season. Of course, the night before NFL started, Donny made a trade of Cook and Jay Cutler for 1.6 Kareem Hunt and Tyrod Taylor, and then Hunt went on to have the greatest fantasy debut in history. So if Hunt can emerge as a star, Team Grrrrific’s rebuilding prospects just got much better. Can they challenge for a playoff spot this year? Let’s find out!

Jedi Knights (4-9)
Chris’ team went the first eight years of Maize and Blue without winning a division title. Then he ripped off four straight from 2012-15, while also accruing the highest regular season wins twice during that span. Unfortunately, 2016 was a down year as Knights stumbled to just four wins and might be heading into a downturn with after achieving so much regular season success and yet just one post-season win. With no pick until RD3 this year — and many more high picks still due to Another Bad Creation for the Marshawn Lynch trade — Jedi will have to be creative while climbing back to respectability. Eli Manning is a shocking thirty-six years old and Chris drafted both Brian Hoyer and 2017 #2 Mitchell Trubisky to lead this franchise into the future.  Future Trubisky will have TY Hilton, Emmanual Sanders, and Greg Olsen to throw to, plus Danny Woodhead and 3.4 pick Theo Riddick to throw to out of the backfield. Knights also drafted rookie Cooper Kupp, and “prove it soon” youngish veterans like CJ Prosise, Kenny Stills, and Eli Rogers. With Eli Manning starting to age — Peyton Manning was a mainstay for Jedi during their successful runs — it could be time for a total rebuild here.

Another Bad Creation (8-5)
With four first round picks this year, four more next year, and three more in 2019 and 2020 each, ABC has the brightest future of any franchise. As the champ just two years ago, Another Bad Creation is poised to rule Maize and Blue for years if GM Oliver can play his cards right. While ABC hasn’t won the division since 2012, we feel a change coming. As the historical leader in division titles for Knights Who Say Ni, we see ABC padding those numbers soon. And now, 2017 #1 pick Leonard Fournette joins the fold after Oliver moved up in the draft. Fournette immediately becomes the franchise back and he’ll team with rich man Kirk Cousins to lead a stable of young guns. Michael Thomas and Terrelle Pryor both had substantial rookie seasons, oft-injured Stefon Diggs and Tyler Lockett both always intrigue, and if healthy, Jordan Reed is a force at tight end. While Bilal Powell, rookie Samaje Perine, and TJ Yeldon don’t exactly project well if Fournette goes down, ABC will have plenty of shots in future drafts to find another franchise runner. Who traded Oliver all those damn picks?!

P Funk All Stars (9-4)
After a pair of 2-11 seasons, P Funk came out of nowhere to grab their second division title — their first was in 2005 — and brought themselves back into the conversation. Of course, Paolo’s team has done this before. From 2009-2015, they won one game twice, two games three times, and had a five and eight win season stuck in-between there. So is P Funk finally for real? With two RD1 picks, they grabbed Marshawn Lynch at 1.7, touchdown machine Mike Gillislee at 1.14, and then went on a run of young guys with rookies Evan Engram, DeShone Kizer, and Curtis Samuel in subsequent rounds — plus Taywan Taylor in RD8. The youth movement dovetails nicely with this keeper core, as Derek Carr and Amari Cooper are a fantastic foundation to build on. Paolo will need Ameer Abdullah to stay healthy, Carr to return from his own injury, and find some other receiver pieces between DeVante Parker, Donte Moncrief, or Laquon Treadwell to step up as the rookies season. With Beast Mode added to Oakland, we’ll see if the Raiders and P Funk All Stars are for real or not…

East / Blue: Ohana

Squirtle Squad (4-9)
It’s been a couple of up and down years for Squirtles, as they dropped back down to four wins after winning the division in 2015 — coming off a 4-9 year in 2014. (Their 2010 title feels like so long ago!) Brian’s team has struggled with consistency and is now historically the worst team in the traditionally tough Ohana division. Squirtles were hit hard by injuries last year but now everyone is healthy. Tom Brady will probably retire after NE’s Thursday showing and that means Jimmy Garoppolo better get ready to step up for Squirtles and Patriots. Adrian Peterson is a MVP candidate, oh wait, probably not. Yup, it’s time for this team to undergo a rebuild. And GM Brian knows it as he went heavy with rookies in the draft with top ranked receiver Corey Davis, Alvin Kamara  at 2.5, tight end David Njoku, and then Chris Carson in four straight picks. Young vets John Brown, De’Angelo Henderson, and George Kittle join the team too but if Keenan Allen and Martinis Bryant can stay healthy, all the young guys will get time to grow into their roles. Lamar Miller, Zach Miller, and Allen Robinson are around too, but their upside is limited. Looks like Squirtles is committing to the future and they could have some time before they become championship relevant again.

Italian Stallionz (6-7)
Speaking of relevant, Stallionz is having a bit of that problem themselves. With no division titles ever, three losing seasons in their last four, Porta’s fanbase is looking for some hope. And hope is here! In the form of Tyreek Hill, one of the most exciting NFL players around, and when paired with future stars Marcus Mariota and Devonta Freeman, the Italian horses could be on the move. Well, hopefully. Porta’s hoping the Williams’, Jamaal and Joe (of GB and SF respectively) will help add some additional oomph to his ground game should Freeman or his Falcons backup Tevin Coleman slow down. Old vet Brandon Marshall moves ahead of young talent Sterling Shepard, which could make Shepard another year away. But hey, Michael Crabtree and Marshall can teach him a lot of things right? Overall, Stallionz are stuck in on/off mediocrity and they’re hoping the mix of old vets, a few promising youngsters, and the immortal Ted Ginn can get them over the hump.

Fockers (7-6)
Dracarys! Our defending champs have already declared their repeat guarantee and has spent the whole off-season reminding everyone within earshot that Fockers were the title holders. “Where’s my ring?!” Hong loves to remind us. Another title could be hard to achieve with Andrew Luck out for an unspecified amount of time and Carson Palmer will need to hold the fort until Luck can return. Of course, LeVeon Bell, Dez Bryant, Demaryius Thomas, and Jimmy Graham are all in their prime players who give Fockers one of the best keeper cores around. Adding Davante Adams at 1.10 will only bolster the lineup even more. We don’t actually know who else is on this roster but will it ultimately matter? Fockers are here to talk shit and win games and as they proved last season, they’re a team to be feared when the stakes are high. LONG LIVE FOCKKKKKKK.

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)
It’s been awhile since Jose and Jayvee’s last title. Three long years. For a franchise accustomed to ultimate success, that is just too long. With only one losing season in their last seven — plus four division titles — Pooh Bears continues to win games, move assets to get more assets, and showcase a stellar winning percentage (62.7%) that has them tied with ABC for best regular season W/L/T total in Maize and Blue. Last year’s 10-3 squad was a return to form after two non-playoff seasons and Pooh Bears boasts the best player in the game: David Johnson. Add in last year’s rookie sensation Ezekiel Elliot (now able to play), Antonio Brown, Mike Evans, Brandin Cooks, and a slew of future picks, we see no end in sight to J’s future. A proper tight end needs to be found, and Cam Newton needs to regain his fantasy form, but this is the leading contender for 2017’s championship, make no doubt about it. Let’s see if Pooh Bears can win a title this year to tie ABC for three, and then also beat out ABC for best historical regular season wins.

East / Gold: Green and White

Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (3-10)
Back with yet another new name, Mike is going back to the past with a stellar Last Starfighter reference. It’s been a bad two years for XKDA and they matched their franchise worst 3-10 record from 2006 with last season’s three win effort. If you’re wondering, yes that was the worst record in the league. This year’s version will still be piloted by Matt Stafford and he’ll still have Jeremy Maclin, Alshon Jeffery, and Kyle Rudolph to throw to, but the biggest new weapon will be 2017 #2 overall pick Christian McCaffrey, of whom much is expected. If McCaffrey can be as explosive as advertised, he’ll steady bring some pizzazz to the roster, and perhaps give Xur a shot at getting out of the Toilet Bowl depths. There’s plenty of intriguing young talent from Mike’s draft — Thomas Rawls, Zay Jones, rookie Lions’ giant receiver Kenny Golladay, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and maybe even a resurgent shot of Jamaal Charles, now in Denver. We’re a little concerned about the double defense drafting of Patriots (6.1) and Packers (10.1) but if defense wins championships then XKDA is on the right track!

Mandalorian Warriors (6-7)
The Warriors have seen better days. With a division leading five division titles in their history, as well as back-to-back Super Bowl appearances in 2011-2, plus a title in 2012, Matt has certainly established himself as an owner to be feared. Well, at least until the last three years, where Warriors are clearly on a downward and rebuilding trajectory. The good news is that Mandalorians never die — they just get cloned — and their last three year stretch without a post-season appearance resulted in the aforementioned glory years of 2011-13. The path back to the top starts with Aaron Rodgers at the helm, and he’s flanked by DeMarco Murray behind him. However, the season ending injury to Julian Edelman certainly hurts, depriving Warriors of their best receiving threat. Larry Fitzgerald is still on hand to catch a lot of balls but he’s no longer a top option. With no first round pick this year, Warriors went kicker very early (2.7) and then Cardinals defense in RD3 (3.8). Matt seems to be rolling the dice on the likes of Marquise Goodwin, Jack Doyle, Cole Beasley, Willie Snead, and the like to carry his team back toward contention. Will this be the end of the three year downswing? Or will the Warriors rise again?

Stink Pink Gators (7-6)
New owner Dave is positioned to build from a position of strength as Detroit Players haven’t had a losing season in four years and have a storied history including back-to-back titles in 2007-08. The Gators are tied with Warriors with the best overall historical record in the division — both are 91-76-2 — and could gain a nice bragging edge here with a winning season. Last year’s squad upset top seeded 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears in the first round but was dispatched by eventual champion Fockers in the conference finals. But that’s all old history now! Dave inherited a core of Jameis Winston, AJ Green, Mark Ingram, Jarvis Landry, and Zach Ertz and then drafted receiver turned running back Ty Montgomery, Paul Perkins, rookie receivers Adam Thielen and John Ross, and then some youngish vets like Wendell Smallwood, Kendall Wright, Marqise Lee, C.J. Fiedorowicz, and Chris Thompson. Stink Pink Gators will clearly be future focused but they can still be mighty competitive even as Dave quickly finds his footing in Maize and Blue.

Sweep The Leg Zabka (9-4)
Our #2 power ranked team last season — and back-to-back division champ — got upended by Fockers in the first round last year, dashing their title hopes. Since taking the league by storm since his entrance in 2014, Alan has gone 8-5, 8-5, and 9-4 in his three seasons. And now he’s brought some reinforcements in old frenemies Dave and Donny! (Donny is in the West Conference while both Alan and Dave are in the East, which could potentially set up an all Spartan Super Bowl one day…) Zabka will still be powered by the Drew Bree’s and Odell Beckham Jr duo, and now with hopefully healthy seasons from Rob Gronkowski, Sammy Watkins, and Kelvin Benjamin, there’s no question this an all air offensive — spare receiver Jameson Crowder was even traded pre-draft. But who will run for these guys? Last year it was Latavius Murray and Jonathan Stewart splitting time and now Stewart is back via draft although the week one starter looks to be Terrance West. Alan knows he needs a sturdier running game and went heavy with five of them in the draft — Rob Kelley, Marlon Mack, Eddie Lacy, Stewart again, and D’Onta Freeman. Can this team stay healthy enough to take Zabka over the top, or will injuries derail their championship hopes yet again?

West / White: The Big House

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)
Since taking over in 2012, Jon has gone 5-8, 5-8, 4-9, 5-8, and 4-9. This after inheriting a 9-3-1 team that had just won a Super Bowl. With no winning record, no post-season appearances, and nary a franchise player on-board, it’s fair to question if Ouroboros has been the worst replacement franchise ever. And on the heels of last year’s disastrous season, GM Jon traded away Matt Ryan, last season’s NFL MVP, for a pittance pre-draft. But hey, Ouroboros are great at being active on the trade wire! And here we go again, as Jon launches yet another rebuild, this one involving trading away the 2017 #1 overall pick — at least Ouroboros has won a Toilet Bowl — and then made a few more moves to push again into the top of the draft.

At the end of the day, Ouroboros moved Matt Ryan, Cameron Meredith, Leonard Fournette (1.1), 2017 RD2 (2.3 - OJ Howard), and 2018 RD1 for Joe Mixon (1.4), 2017 RD1 (1.6 - Kareem Rush), 2018 RD1, and 2020 RD4. Post-draft, there was also a Kareem Rush and Tyrod Taylor (3.3) for Dalvin Cook (1.3) and Jay Cutler (6.2) trade that already looks uneven on the heels of Rush’s incredible 40+ point season debut. Sigh. Ouroboros will fight for a winning record behind Dak Prescott, Jay Ajayi, Todd Gurley — 2015’s trade up from 1.4 to 1.1 — and a stable of unproven receivers in Corey Coleman, Kevin White, and Hunter Henry. Sound promising? Noooope! But at least Korean kicker Younghoe Koo will add interest to this perpetual bottom dweller.

Team Cameltoe (5-8)
After a tough 16-34-2 four year stretch from 2010-13, it looked like Felipe had righted the ship again with two straight playoff appearances and a division title in 2014 — albeit with a losing 6-7 record — and would continue to surge back into contention. Instead, Team Cameltoe slipped back to five wins and right into the Toilet Bowl with a late season swoon. The good news is that Cameltoe has a solid threesome of Russell Wilson, breakout sophomore star Jordan Howard, and the incomparable Julio Jones to anchor his team. Jordy Nelson also had a huge bouceback season and adds a fourth bonafide star to the team. If CJ Anderson can return from his injury, Cameltoe could easily re-challenge for the division lead.

However, past trades have hamstrung Cameltoe’s draft, as they only had one pick in the first four rounds (Eric Decker at 3.6) and that forced Felipe to fill out his roster with “used to have buzz” characters like Jacquizz Rodgers, Coby Fleener, Tavon Austin, Charles Clay, and Trevor Siemian. Well, maybe not the last one, as a post-draft trade brought in Jared Goff for the backup quarterback job. Still, if the big four can stay healthy and either Anderson or currently suspended Doug Martin can pick up their game, we see this team moving right back into the playoffs.

Ann Arbor Bamfers (9-4)
Boasting the lowest historical win percentage in Maize and Blue isn’t exactly a badge of honor — 63-105-1, 37.3% — but Bamfers were hampered by a three year stretch where they had a combined six wins total. Bamfers have not been terrible aside from those seasons, and have even appeared in the back-to-back playoffs in 2012 and 2013. But nobody except friends and family of Randy could have expected a franchise record 9-4 season last season and the Ann Arbor fan base remains optimistic but wary. Can Philip Rivers, Melvin Gordon, Frank Gore, Golden Tate, and Delanie Walker bring Bamfers to the playoffs once again?

Randy certainly seems to think so, as Bamfers look to be in win-now mode, taking Randall Cobb and DeSean Jackson with their first two picks, and (despite missing out on a third rounder) nabbed a defense and kicker in RD4&5. We like this push for respectability, as Bamfers are one of only two franchisse to have never won a division title — the other franchise is Italian Stallionz. Let’s hope later round picks Latavius Murray, Taylor Gabriel, Jeremy Hill, Charles Sims, and Allen Hurns can help Bamfers along as push for that elusive Big House banner, as they almost had one last year, but lost out on a divisional record tie-break.

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4)
Our highest historical winning team also resides in this division, as Pogiboys have taken 66.9% of their games over the years. They’re officially back in championship form after a down 2014 and have added two more division titles to an awe inspiring total of ten! Of course, Pogiboys haven’t won a championship in all this time, despite all of their success. In fact, both of their Super Bowl appearances have resulted in blowouts and it’s got to infuriate Alvin that his team is perpetually just a hair away.

Some changes were made pre-draft, as Pogiboys acquired Matt Ryan, a now injured Cameron Meredith, and Doug Baldwin to bolster their keeper core. They’ll team with LeSean McCoy, DeAndre Hopkins, and Travis Kelce to get Alvin yet another shot at a title. Blake Bortles was last season’s Super Bowl starter for Pogiboys and while he was redrafted, he’ll be replaced at the helm by Ryan, who should be an upgrade. Working without a RD1 pick due to the McCoy trade, Alvin took back Duke Johnson, and then followed up with Jonathan Williams, Rishard Matthews, DeAndre Washington, rookies ArDarius Stewart, Gerald Everett, and Matt Breida. We’re not sure if that’ll all add up an elusive ring for Alvin but there’s no doubt Pogiboys will just keep on winning, and keep on hoping their luck extends all the way through to a parade. Just promise not to retire on top Alvin, we need you as commissioner extraordinaire!

Mid-Season: Green and White

One of our two 2015 Super Bowl contestants came from this division, with three total playoff teams to boot. Still, the two titles from here both come from Detroit Players, and those were long ago. Still, all three top teams here have a chance to return to the post-season again, which would be quite something. Let’s evaluate their chances! [2015 Mid-Season]

Sweep the Leg Zabka (6-3)
After suffering an upset Super Bowl defeat, Alan went back home, licked his wounds, and came right back this season to emerge as a contender once again. Buoyed by an astounding 168.5 WK6, Zabka is the second highest scoring team in the league, riding a four game win streak, and clearly firing on all cylinders behind offseason trade acquisition Drew Brees (for Ryan Tannehill and Rashad Jennings!), Odell Beckham, Rob Gronkowski, and Kelvin Benjamin. That receiving core would be even better if Sammy Watkins hadn’t been injured and MIA most of the season.

The only thing slowing Zabka a little bit so far has been its run game, which has had 2016 first round pick Matt Jones and Latavius Murray dealing with injuries, forcing a platoon with the recently picked up Jonathan Stewart, as well as Terrance West. Two of those four should emerge as the season goes along, and with that nasty passing attack only getting better as the season goes along, these Spartans are looking for a return trip to the title game.

Mandalorian Warriors (5-4)
As Brees’ old team, and the team Zabka bounced in last year’s playoffs, Mandalorian Warriors are looking for some postseason revenge of their own. Of course, after starting off 4-1, they’ll have to right the ship as they’ve slid to just one win their last four matchups. With one more month to go in the regular season, a division title is still within reach, but Warriors will have to work for it. Especially since they’ve faced the toughest schedule in the league so far, at a whopping 96.5 PA average.

GM Matt had a hell of a draft, grabbing DeMarco Murray in RD2 and Christine Michael in RD3. With Murray returning to fantasy prominence, the ground game for Warriors is back! And despite Aaron Rodgers’ real life struggles, he’s still the #4 ranked quarterback around. He’s got Larry Fitzgerald in the slot, Mike Wallace going deep, TE Zach Miller showing his stuff, and hopefully some more catches for Julian Edelman coming up for the rest of the season. If everyone can get on-board for just a few more games, Warriors will likely get their change to avenge last season’s playoff loss.

Detroit Players (4-5)
Despite being the lowest scoring team in the division, Players are within shot of a wild card spot, and possibly even more, although their inconsistency betrays them. They can’t seem to get a back-to-back win, and they’ll need to string together at least one of those as the weeks go on. Better quarterback play would help, as Jameis Winston and rookie Carson Wentz have both been so-so options, although Winston could be coming on.

This team is currently led by its receivers, as AJ Green and Jarvis Landry are a nice one-two punch. With Green having a fantastic year and carrying this team on his back. The running attack has been entirely boom and bust, with Mark Ingram and Jeremy Hill taking turns going loud and then all quiet — plus the preseason loss of Dion Lewis. A better tight end than Zach Ertz could help too, although that may be hoping for too much. But if Ariel wants to bring his team into the playoffs, he’ll need to find some firepower down the stretch, and hope all his guns can start firing at once.

Shoguns of Harlem (2-7)
Last year, Shoguns went 6-7, the only Green and White team to not finish at least 0.500. But they came close to a Toilet Bowl victory... However, this year, it looks like six wins will be entirely out of the question for them as they’ve already equaled their losses from last season. Remember just two years ago when Shoguns won this division? Nope, us neither. Past success doesn’t help much when you’re riding a four game losing streak, with no end in sight and a hell of a divisional month to get through — plus a WK10 matchup with 7-2 Bamfers.

Aside from some nice early games from Matthew Stafford and Kyle Rudolph, this team has been hurting for anyone to step up. Alshon Jeffery has caught just one TD on the season, Jeremy Maclin and Travis Benjamin have been here and there, and Shoguns’ leading rusher, Bilal Powell, has only topped double digits twice so far. Rookie Derrick Henry hasn’t worked out, Arian Foster is injured (of course), and now it’s down to Seahawks rookie CJ Prosise, who might be just a third-string back on his own team. At least Case Keenum is getting a bye week start! Whoof, this team is bad, and they’ll have to hope for another good Toilet Bowl showing to save the season. Sorry Mike, but good luck in the cellar competition this year!

Mid-Season: The Big House

Last season, the Big House division teams started off a combined 14-6 in five weeks — featuring an undefeated team and two 4-1 squads —  before having their bottom two teams finish at 5-8. Still, they sent two strong teams to the playoffs -- although neither made the Super Bowl. Let's see where The Big House is in 2016! [2015 Mid-Season]

Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-2)
The Bamfers only won five games last year and got bounced in the Toilet Bowl pretty quickly. This year, they’re one of the best teams in the league and are charging hard for a long awaited division title. Helped along by playing the softest schedule in the league — opponents are averaging only 63.7 ppg — Randy’s team is on a three game win streak and just put up 124.5 points in WK9. They’ve ridden the Chargers combo of Philip Rivers and Melvin Gordon (the top ranked RB this year) to much success and has the resurrected soul of Frank Gore playing fantastic football.

While dual first round picks Josh Doctson (lost to injury) and Michael Floyd have been mostly disappointments, Golden Tate has emerged from an early season slump to climb back up the receiver rankings. And it looks like Delanie Walker has edged Marcellus Bennett at tight end, or maybe Bamfers will go with a double TE set for the rest of the year. With only a month left in the regular season, Bamfers face a WK13 matchup with Pogiboys, possibly to determine the division leader. Either way, this team is headed to the playoffs!

Morrie’s Pogiboys (6-3)
Last year, the top ranked 11-2 Pogiboys were upset in the first round of the playoffs by eventual champs Another Bad Creation, so they’re looking for a revenge season. They got it, sort of, with a 116.5-112.5 victory over ABC in WK8, but they’re definitely looking for more than regular season success. Unfortunately, this team just isn’t quite as good as last year, as Eddie Lacy has been an injured and ineffective mess, and DeAndre Hopkins can’t quite find his WR1 footing. At least LeSean McCoy has been playing well, and should have a bye week to return to full health.

Blake Bortles has been Alvin’s go-to signal caller and he’s actually been not too bad. His receiving core is a bit inconsistent though, with the aforementioned Hopkins, John Brown, Quincy Enunwa, and taking turns going boom/bust. At least Travis Kelce and his new dating show proven to be a top five TE option. Moving forward, Pogiboys will have to hope McCoy comes back to health, Bortles keeps Bortles-ing, and maybe Theo Roddick emerges as a solid option. We foresee Alvin making the playoffs again, but in less dominating fashion than last year.

Team Cameltoe (4-5)
Our newest sixteen team basketball owner, over in SlamNation, proved his fantasy worth with a 10-3 season last year, before getting upset by ABC in the conference finals. As of now, they’re two games out of a playoff spot, and will really need to step it up to get into the postseason, otherwise it’ll be all NBA for Felipe soon! The good news is that a 1-4 start has led into a 3-1 past month, and the signs are there for a good last four weeks of the season for Cameltoe.

Julio Jones has been a fantasy monster, and Jordy Nelson returned from injury to post excellent numbers most of the time. This team has been led by Jones, Nelson, and CJ Anderson (now out for the season, with Doug Martin basically also on IR) in the scoring column, with a quarterback, Joe Flacco, not showing up until #4 for total points scored. Part of the reason for that is that Flacco has split starts with Russell Wilson and Alex Smith, and a clear leader will need to emerge soon. At least Jordan Howard and Cole Beasley have been nice finds this season, and they’ll need to be even better to help Julio Jones spark this team to a playoff berth.

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (3-6)
After starting off 4-1 last season, Ouroboros collapsed with a five game losing streak and continued their ineptitude by starting off 1-4 this year. Part of the problem this year has been a slew of injuries, especially to the receiving corps, as Kevin White, Eric Decker, and rookie Corey Coleman have all missed significant time. Thus GM Jon has had to scramble to replace them with free agents (Cameron Meredith, Richard Matthews), one trade (Colby Fleener for Sterling Shepard), and a whole lot of lineup adjusting.

There have been some bright spots though, as Matt Ryan has been the top player in fantasy this year — and rookie Dak Prescott lurks on the bench as a top ten QB option. Running back Jay Ajayi has exploded the past three weeks, and he’s the new franchise back, taking over for the disappointing Todd Gurley. In theory Ajayi, Gurley, and Giovani Bernard are a decent running game, but it hasn't translated to the scoreboard as Ajayi was on the bench for both of his 200+ yard games. Also, mid-season highlight, rookie Hunter Henry is now injured, leaving a hole at TE. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros is clearly out of the postseason running, but maybe they can ride Ryan and Ajayi to make some noise in the Toilet Bowl. Maybe.

Mid-Season: The Knights Who Say Ni

In our second mid-season look, we take a look at The Knights Who Say Ni, home to our last two title winners! [2015 Mid-Season]

Another Bad Creation (5-2)
Our defending champs are poised atop the division and in a good place to defend their title. They haven’t exactly been doing it in grand style though, as they seem to be playing down to the level of their competition quite often, and have faced one of the easier schedules in the league so far. Still, with only three winning teams left on the schedule, a postseason spot should be within easy reach for them.

Playoff hero Kirk Cousins again leads this team in scoring, and he’s relied on Jordan Reed and Stefon Diggs to generate a passing game — to hit-and-miss results. The actual best receivers on this team have more likely been Michael Thomas and Terrelle Pryor, who have been much steadier, albeit slower to get into ABC’s lineup. The big question for ABC seems to be at running back, where TJ Yeldon and Jeremy Langford has floundered. Perhaps two good weeks from Jacquizz Rodgers will be enough to steady the backfield, but it’ll be hard for ABC to advance far if Rodgers suddenly takes a dive. Can the champs repeat? I guess we’ll find out soon!

P Funk All Stars (5-2)
Having already doubled last year’s win total, and then some, P Funk started the season 3-1 and is suddenly in contention for a playoff spot. The David Carr to Amari Cooper connection has been fruitful so far, although Carr has been slipping a bit recently. At least Tavon Austin has finally figured out how to use his multiple talents in a big way, and is third on this team in scoring. The problem is, DeVante Parker hasn’t really lived up to preseason hype, and there’s also been a hole at running back.

The good news is, James White has been picking up steam ever since Tom Brady returned, and he’ll likely take the starting gig from Ryan Mathews and Darren Sproles, neither of whom can find much consistency. 2016 #2 overall pick Laquon Treadwell has been an absolute non-factor — as is Ameer Abdullah, who is back on IR — but P Funk can afford to wait on him. Paolo’s team has a two game lead on any wild card chase, so should get into the postseason, but he’ll need his Raiders twosome to step it up over the back half of the season.

Jedi Knights (3-4)
As the top scoring team in the division, Jedi should have more than three wins. However, they’ve been pounded by one of the tougher schedules in the league, and actually have a higher PA than PF. WK7’s 1.5 point loss to P Funk dropped them behind in the division chase and now they’ll have to play catch up. Still, last year’s division winner shouldn’t be counted out as there’s still hope yet.

Interestingly, this is one of the few teams not led in points by a quarterback. Eli Manning has been erratic all season so it’s TY Hilton who have led this team in points. Even TE Greg Olsen, who has been simply amazing, outranks Manning in total points scored. Emmanuel Sanders has been perfect as a third receiver and he’s been a steady source of catches and yards. The run game though, is troubled. Danny Woodhead was lost for the season early on, and although Matt Asiata has been better recently, 55 yard weeks aren’t likely to move the needle much. If Chris Washington can take over in the backfield for the Redskins, that would really help out the Knights’ playoff chances. Strangely, Marshawn Lynch is still on this roster. Does Chris know something we don’t about Beast Mode’s (un)retirement plans?

Original Salt (1-6)
Our 2014 champions are back in the cellar. After accruing just three wins last year, it’s possible Original Salt doesn’t even get there this season. They’re averaging a league worst 59.9 ppg, and their lone win came against one of the other worst teams in the league. With Ben Roethlisberger hitting the sidelines for awhile, Reno’s team can book a suite for the Toilet Bowl right now. Also confusing, why did 2016 #3 overall pick, Jonathan Stewart, get cut three weeks ago, and just returned to the field last week for two touchdowns?

There are a few bright spots for this team though. Old hand Anquan Boldin has been better than excited, while Matt Forte started off the season very hot. And now Spencer Ware seems to have taken charge of the backfield in Kansas City, and has put up excellent numbers recently. Plus, there’s a chance Isaiah Crowell will serve as a nice RB2 down the stretch, giving OS a good running game. Beyond those guys though, there’s not a whole lot to look forward to the rest of the way. Maybe if Big Ben can return soon, OS will vie for a Toilet Bowl win and a number one overall pick?

Mid-Season: Ohana

It's just about halfway through 2016 already, so let's take a look at our divisions one-by-one, and week-by-week. We'll start with the Ohana division, which still remains the toughest division around! [2015 Mid-Season]

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (4-2)
Leading the league in scoring at 103.25 points per, J and Jayvee’s team is riding last season’s playoff breakout, David Johnson, and 2016 #1 pick Ezekiel Elliot to pole position in Ohana division. After last year’s disappointing 6-7 campaign, Pooh Bears are headed straight back to the top again. Aside from the wonderful running duo, this team also features Antonio Brown and a fleet of hit-and-miss wides doing intriguing things: Brandin Cooks, Mike Evans, Doug Baldwin, Marvin Jones, and Sterling Shepard.

The on-field leader on the team has changed, from Carson Palmer to Cam Newton, but that should be fine, even if Newton isn’t exactly on last year's MVP form. The only weakness for this team so far has been at TE, where Antonio Gates has been injured and overtaken by his understudy in San Diego. We’re not anticipating any slowdown from here till the postseason for Pooh Bears, and another championship is squarely in their sights.

Fockers (3-3)
Hong’s team stumbled out of the gates 2-6 last year and ended up flailing around in the Toilet Bowl. Now they are back into division contention, despite the inability of Dez Bryant to return to the field. Fueling their attack is a return to form by Andrew Luck, and the ground game of LeGarrette Blount and the freshly returned LeVeon Bell. As they wait for Bryant, Demaryius Thomas has been okay leading this team, even as his fantasy dominant days are likely over. The good news for Fockers is that Jimmy Graham has finally become his old self with the Seahawks, and is a top flight tight end option once again. With injuries dotting his bench, GM Hong could look to field a better defense and kicker too, and then he could use the second half of the season to lock up a postseason appearance. Long live Fockers!

Italian Stallionz (3-3)
Well, getting blasted by 168.5 points last week surely didn’t help Stallionz Points Against numbers, but WK6 was an aberration, as Porta’s team has mostly faced a soft schedule. Their three wins have come on sub-75 point weeks from their opponent. Unfortunately, once the opposing team hits 90+ points, it’s good night for Stallionz. Still, they are at 3-3 and squarely in the playoff mix. After finishing 5-8 last year, that’s good news.

Marcus Mariota has solidified himself as a top ten quarterback, even though he is still very irregular. The surprise of the year has to be Michael Crabtree, who has found the fountain of youth in Oakland and has been great so far this season. Add in the Falcons’ duo of Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman in the backfield, operating for the number one offense in the NFL, and Porta is in decent shape. If Brandon Marshall can stay hot, and new tight end Jack Doyle finds some more consistency, the outlines of a competitive team are here. Stallionz need to take it up a notch for the rest of the season to insure a smooth ride to the playoffs.

Squirtle Squad (2-4)
Our defending division champs stumbled out of the gates winless in three games, and things were looking bleak.  Injuries decimated this team early, as Keenan Allen and Adrian Peterson were both lost for the season. Fortunately, Tom Brady is back! He’ll replace Tyrod Taylor and that will be a major upgrade for this offense, obviously. Along with that, Lamar Miller and Randall Cobb are showing signs of life and if they can kick it into gear, Squirtles could rise quickly.

Of course, GM Brian will need to work the waiver wire to find some other parts, as this entire bench is full of red injury statuses. Rookie Will Fuller was looking great for a few weeks, but has fallen behind Allen Robinson on the Squirtles depth chart. In a competitive division, will Tom Terrific be enough to pilot this team back to the postseason after getting knocked out of the first round last year?

The Return of the Sith

Whoops again, MnB media team was in Korea and other parts, so missed a few weeks. But we can't slack on our league coverage so let's wrap up our divisional looks by peering in on The Knights Who Say Ni! [2015 Keepers]

Jedi Knights (6-5)
The Knights went 12-1 last season and were a strong championship contender but they don’t look nearly as dominant this year. Still, they could crawl their way to a third consecutive division title. Or they could collapse out of the playoff picture altogether since they’re 1-3 in the past month, and have scored sub-40 points twice in that same span. If Jedi goes winless the rest of the way and Another Bad Creation wins out, ABC owns the tie-breaker between these two teams…

The problem recently for Jedi has clearly been the upheaval at quarterback, with Peyton Manning being awful and Ryan Fitzpatrick taking three of the last four starts. The theoretical strong ground game of mid-draft trade addition Marshawn Lynch and Alfred Morris has completely collapsed, and Danny Woodhead has actually been the best best backfield option. It looks like trading away three RD1 and one RD2 for Lynch will hurt Knights for years to come.

The leading scorer on this team is Greg Olsen, who is averaging 12.8 ppg and is #3 on the TE rankings. However, I don’t think anyone wants their tight end to be leading their team in scoring --  unless maybe that tight end is named Gronk. The other receivers here, Emmanuel Sanders and TY Hilton, have both suffered quarterback setbacks in recent weeks, and their future production is up in the air. In short, Jedi Knights is fading but could still sneak into the playoffs with a whimper but certainly not a bang.

Another Bad Creation (4-7)
Unless ABC can win out, they could miss the playoffs altogether. Over in the Moose Knuckle, there are three teams currently ranked better than ABC in the standings so it might have to be division title or bust for Oliver to hit the post-season. Even with a 4-7 record after last year’s 8-5 campaign, this season has to be considered a success because GM Oliver picked up six RD1 picks for the corpses of Marshawn Lynch and LeSean McCoy. Sure, either could bounce back to their former star status but this season has been terrible for both.

Oh yeah, ABC continued the full rebuild by trading Aaron Rodgers away for another five RD1 picks, plus current starter Kirk Cousins. Basically Oliver just pulled a Danny Ainge and moved every old asset for a boundless future. There’s some budding talent on this team too, as young guys like TJ Yeldon, Jeremy Langford, and Stefon Diggs have flashed their potential. Heck, TE Ladarius Green is #3 in ABC’s scoring, although that’s not saying much. (Rodgers still leads this team in scoring, despite being traded away a month ago.) Keepers Joique Bell, Andre Johnson, and Vincent Jackson could all see the boot next off-season in favor of younger, and better, options.

Facing off against two of the worst teams in the league during his final two matchups, Oliver has a chance to make the playoffs if he can win out. Regardless of how 2015 finishes up though, Another Bad Creation is set up for an incredible future with all those draft picks and it looks like they’ll be a team to watch in the upcoming years. What a haul!

Original Salt (3-8)
One team headed straight to the Toilet Bowl is Original Salt, who has collapsed to sub 0.500 after putting up a 6-7 campaign last year, just on the verge of respectability. This season they are averaging 54.3 points per game, which is embarrassing to the point of being nearly impossible. (The next worst PF team puts up 80.0 ppg.) Given this fact, it’s almost a miracle the Salties have won one game, much less three. Two of those wins were in the first two weeks of the season, and then they suffered a two month losing streak before WK11’s 71.5 - 31.0 victory over P Funk.

Losing Ben Roethlisberger after WK2 hurt, but it looks like Big Ben has returned to form in recent weeks. He’ll be inserted back into the roster immediately, as Teddy Bridgewater was a low end starting option. Early season fantasy surprise James Jones has come back to life, and there’s a smattering of decent-ish receiving options aboard, with keeper Doug Baldwin and Brandon LaFell doing their best to catch a few passes. Redskins running back Chris Thompson had been filling in for Forte — plus Reggie Bush, who was injured most of the weeks he was in the lineup — but he's been not so good so it'll be nice to have Forte back to action soon. Maybe the returns of Roethlisberger and Forte can help Original Salt pull of an upset in the Toilet Bowl but that would require this team to put A LOT more points on the board than they're used to. 54.3 points per game!?!

Note: Maybe Reno's attention is pointed toward coaching the Mountain House High basketball team. If so, let's cheer them on! Go Mustangs!

P Funk All Stars (2-9)
Last year’s P Funk All Stars finished with two wins, which means Paolo’s team has two shots left to better his 2014 record. While P Funk hasn’t been horrible with their PF, they have faced the second toughest schedule in the league and opponents are averaging 92.8 ppg versus them. Ouch. At least one of this year’s two wins was a stirring WK10 defeat of contender Detroit Players, but that was mostly a moral victory.

Injuries have hurt this team, as DeSean Jackson is just now making his return to the field while Ryan Mathews and Michael Floyd have both missed some games. The good news is that both have performed well, especially Floyd, who has been on fire for the past month pre-injury. Number two overall pick in this year’s draft, Amari Cooper, also looks like the real deal and there’s a chance his Raiders' QB Derek Carr could have emerged as a legit fantasy option — although Joe Flacco has been the starter for P Funk, at least until his torn ACL last week. Running back surprise Dion Lewis has also been lost for the season, meaning P Funk is heading into the Toilet Bowl minus two of their top three scorers. Can Paolo's team make any noise in the losers bracket? I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

We Are Family

Whoops, we missed a week but here’s a look at the Ohana division, the third in our season series after The Moose Knuckle and Sum Dum Goy! This division used to be the best in the land, when they were “The Wood,” but things aren’t looking so good for this once mighty quartet. [2015 Keepers]

Squirtle Squad (5-2-1)
Brian’s team hasn’t lost since WK1 (until last week), owns the second highest PF, and has the rest of his division mates fading into the distance. With five total wins, Squirrels have already outpaced last year’s four wins and is looking to cruise to a division title. We gave this team the lowest keeper core score from Ohana but that hasn’t affected them one bit. Ryan Tannehill was the keeper QB here, and was leading the team until a recent change to Matthew Stafford at the helm. Keenan Allen reemerged as a fantasy star early on, and still leads this team in non-QB position scoring, but he’s out indefinitely with a mystery kidney ailment. No matter though, because Allen Robinson has emerged as a legit #1 option, scoring 22.5, 17, and 18 points in his last three games.

Randall Cobb hasn’t had the kind of season everyone expected but he’s serviceable, and tight end Jordan Reed has been quite decent, ranking as the #7 TE. And hey! Adrian Peterson is back! While AP hasn’t had a big game since WK4, he’s been at least a steady presence and with other top ranked running backs dropping by the week, All Day is looking like a semi-safe play. Plus, Lamar Miller and Justin Forsett have been picking up steam for the past few weeks. With only one 0.500+ team left on their schedule, Squirtles can basically sit back and start figuring out their post-season plans!

Italian Stallionz (3-5)
The Stallionz started off 3-1 but are suddenly fading quite badly, low lighted by WK7’s 55 point showing in a loss. It's four straight L's for this team. What’s going on Porta?! For one, Marcus Mariota has totaled thirteen points in those four losses, and has been off the field for the last two weeks, albeit with no lineup change. We suspect Porta is out on the slopes or something, ignoring his fantasy team. The season ending injury to Jamaal Charles surely didn’t help either, even though Chris Johnson and Darren McFadden are both quietly having kind of comeback seasons. CJ2K and Run DMC! Is it 2010 again?! Sadly, the Andre Ellington hype train has long since derailed...

This team still has a lot going for it though, such as #1 ranked WR DeAndre Hopkins, who has been simply amazing with a 19.3 pts average. And with mondo target Brandon Marshall on the other side, Stallionz have two of the top six receivers in the game — TE Kyle Rudolph is a non-factor. If GM Porta can get a quarterback in there for Mariota, this team could still go places and maybe challenge for a wild card spot. Get off the snowboard and back into the game Porta!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (3-5)
We gave this team a sterling keeper score and were ready for them to re-enter the championship picture. Instead, the once mighty Pooh Bears are looking pretty fried, and is likely headed straight to the Toilet Bowl after book ending five losses in-between WK1 and WK7 wins. Then again, an uplifting 92-88 WK8 victory versus Mandalorian Warriors this past week could have them hoping for a playoff spot. Possible? If Jose and Jayvee want to see the post-season, they’ll have to make some moves starting right now!

On paper, this team is still pretty good. Cam Newton has been challenged by Carson Palmer for the starting quarterback slot, but that’s not a bad thing as both are averaging exactly 19.0 pts each outing. Young receivers Brandin Cooks and Mike Evans have been a bit on-and-off, but both will get more chances to shine with Steve Smith having torn his ACL. And while Antonio Brown hasn’t been the monster he was last season, Big Ben is back and so should Brown’s uber-effectiveness. And even Jimmy Graham hasn’t been as bad as initially feared/complained, as he’s been posting alternating big games. Sure, Carlos Hyde has been nigh useless, but Duke Johnson is flashing bits of potential in his rookie year. And Chris Ivory, the #5 ranked RB this season, was recently traded for the younger David Johnson, giving Pooh Bears another young runner while moving a veteran piece to a contender. Can the Bears move up? Or will they head to the Toilet Bowl?

*Fockers (2-6)
Last year’s division champion should probably reserve a seat at the Toilet Bowl. After entering the season with high hopes — and our #1 ranked keeper core — Hong has found his team flopping around at the bottom of the division. It’s not their fault, not entirely, since they’ve faced a punishing schedule that has been the toughest in the league -- opponents are averaging 102.25 against them. But they haven’t helped themselves either, with two sub-65 point showings to start the year and then erratic PF the rest of the way. With five games to go, a playoff showing is probably out of reach here.

Oh right, Le’Veon Bell was just lost for the season, right as Dez Bryant returns to action. If there’s a cursed season, this is it for Fockers. I mean, Andrew Luck has been awful (he’s ranked as the #23 QB by average, right above Brian Hoyer), DeAngelo Williams has received twenty-two carries combined in his last six games, LeGarrette Blount has one good game in three, Antonio Gates can’t stay on the field, and well, I’ll just stop… The good new is that Demaryius Thomas has still been okay, and waiver wire pickup Rishard Matthews has been quite the find! A season that started with a bold move, and championship aspirations, has collapsed pretty completely. Time to aim for that 2016 #1 draft pick I guess!

Git Sum

Last week we looked at The Moose Knuckle, the current strongest division in the league. This week we’ll take a look at Sum Dum Goy, arguably the second best division this season. [2015 Keepers]

Mandalorian Warriors (4-1-1)
The Warriors were pegged for a huge rebuilding year as almost all of their current assets had been moved away in recent seasons — and a mid-draft trade of CJ Anderson didn’t look like a “win now” move. Well, six weeks in, the Warriors are leading the Eastern Conference in wins and have scored the fourth most points in the league. The resurgence has been led by, of all people, Larry Fitzgerald! Fitz has scored double digits in all of his games, with an average of 18.4 points and 5 TDs accrued. Across from him is Julian Edelman, who is averaging a nifty 17.6 points of his own in just five weeks. And ugh, who is TE Gary Barnidge and why is he putting up scores of 19-16-23-16.5 points in the last month?!

With these three to throw to, it’s been okay that Drew Brees has been pretty average. Or that there’s not much of a run game here — although Karlos Williams was looking great until his recent injury. The Warriors find themselves with a fierce passing attack after moving out all of their starting running backs (LeSean McCoy, Anderson, Chris Ivory), and are winning more for it. Is Matt’s team back to contender status so soon? Sure looks like it!

Detroit Players (4-2)
Ariel’s team looked like they would have one of the best running attacks in the game with three keeper-ed RBs, plus rookie Ameer Abdullah. Mostly, that’s been true, although the running leader in the clubhouse has been surprising. Mark Ingram has grabbed the starting reins and is the #4 RB in fantasy this season, posting a 13.9 average. DeMarco Murray and Jeremy Hill have both taken a step back this season, but both are still capable of alternating big games. Abdullah has been very erratic, but he will have plenty of time to find his footing on this team.

And the passing attack has been very good, featuring AJ Green and Jarvis Landry, a terrific duo. With Martavis Bryant making his season debut behind a huge 28 point week, it’s safe to say that Players could have some of the best position players around. Except for a slight hole at quarterback, where Sam Bradford is in constant danger of being replaced by James Winston, who has been turnover prone, but steadier on the scoreboard than Bradford.

Strangely, Players have scored less PF than PA, owing to their two losses being gigantic blowouts. And two of their wins have been very close: An one point win last week, and a nail biting 0.5 point win in WK1 versus Squirtle Squad. With a strong rotation and steely nerves, Players look like they’ll easily hit the post-season this year after missing out last year.

Sweep the Leg Zabka (2-4)
After starting off 2-1, Alan’s team has lost four in a row, albeit to three very strong teams. They aren’t too far back and could make a push for a post-season berth if they can get their running game in order. The passing game is looking great, as both Andy Dalton and Eli Manning are having fantastic seasons. In fact, Dalton has emerged as the #2 QB in the game, and has taken over for Eli, who is at #8. Trade bait for someone?

Odell Beckham Jr. and Rob Gronkowski form an enviable 1-2 receiving punch and Gronk has been, predictably, the best TE by a wide margin. Beckham has had two dips but is definitely not suffering from any sophomore slumps, unlike Sammy Watkins, who can’t seem to get the ball, or stay healthy. And as for that running attack, Latavius Murray and Jonathan Stewart are averaging close to double digits, but have been up and down. Also, let’s not overlook the best kicker in the game, Stephen Gostkowski, who is blasting 13.8 points in his last four games.

With a top passing attack, a great kicking game, and maybe a little bit of ground game to finish out games, Sweep the Leg could get right back into the post-season hunt, and we’re not ready to count them out!

Shogun of Harlem (2-4)
Hope floats for the other 2-4 team in this division too, as Shoguns started off 0-4 and didn’t score more than 84 points in the first month of the season but has picked up two consecutive wins and is averaging 100.25 ppg in that span. What’s changed? One name: Arian Foster! Okay, not everything good can be laid at the feet of Foster, but his return has helped steady the backfield. Alfred Blue was nigh useless and the previous top running back scorer was a lone big week by Seahawks’ Thomas Rawls.

But now Foster can combine with Tyler Eifert (having a great year as the #2 ranked TE), a pretty solid Jeremy Maclin, and the fantasy stylings of dual threat QB Tyrod Taylor — replacing the injured Tony Romo — to get this team some much needed wins. Coach Mike has already started seventeen players this season, a huge number, so some lineup steadiness could help them climb out of the cellar. There’s still a lot of regular season left to play and Shoguns are clearly trending up!