Draft Order 2019

1. P Funk All Stars (1-12)
2. Mandalorian Warriors (2-11)
3. Jedi Knights (4-9)
4. Another Bad Creation (4-9)
5. Italian Stallionz (5-8) *TB Winner
6. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7)
7. The Autumn Wind / Hungry Ouroboros (6-7)
8. * Fockers (7-5)
9. Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
10. Team Cameltoe (7-6)
11. Stink Pink Gators (8-5)
12. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
13. Squirtle Squad (9-4)
14. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) *Champion
15. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3)
16. Team Grrrrrific (11-2)

Draft Review 2018

Much like the NBA draft -- and just like last year -- we’re only going two rounds here. For all our sanities. [Draft Order 2018]

ROUND ONE
There was a clear number one this season as Toilet Bowl winner Donny used Team Grrrrific’s well-deserved 2018 1.1 on Saquon Barkley. Easy pick! And since there were a whole bunch of speculative rookie running backs this year but no consensus number two, we wondered who would go next. Paolo rolled the dice on Denver’s new RB, Royce Freeman.

Then to the shock of us all, Mike of Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada grabbed Josh Gordon at 1.3! Talk about rolling the dice!?! Italian Stallions fiddled with trading down but took Ravens runner Alex Collins instead of a rookie back, opening the door for a trade from Hungry Ouroboros that netted them 1.5 and 1.7, with rookies Calvin Ridley and Ronald Jones being selected.

Speaking of multiple picks, 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears and Another Bad Creation both had three apiece -- Oliver's ABC had four in last year's first round. Pooh Bears took rookie receiver DJ Moore (1.8), Marquise Goodwin (1.9), and rising tight end David Njoku (1.16) to clean up the first round. ABC grabbed this year’s Lions’ running hope, Kerryon Johnson at 1.6, and then followed that up with two former Patriots, Brandin Cooks (1.13) and Dion Lewis (1.15).

Our four remaining first rounders were all rookie running backs: Sony Michel (1.10 - Ann Arbor Bamfers), Nick Chubb (1.11 - Squirtle Squad), Rashaad Penny (1.12 - Stink Pink Gators), and our defending champs, Sweep the Leg Zabka, with a selection of out-for-the-season Derrius Guice at 1.14. I guess when you are the best team in the league you can afford to wait on an injured player!

• Teams Without RD1 Picks: Fockers, Jedi Knights, Mandalorian Warriors, MoRRie’s Pogiboys, Team Cameltoe

ROUND TWO
Pooh Bears had a double pick at the end of RD1 and beginning of RD2, and took Browns rookie receiver Antonio Callaway with 2.1. [I had to Google who that was.] Paolo had two RD2 picks and he took the giant head of Jets rookie quarterback Sam Darnold (2.2) and a new target for him to throw to: Cooper Kupp (2.12). Note that Darnold was the first non-keeper quarterback taken!

Xur then took everyone’s favorite sleeper TE Trey Burton at 2.3 and Pogiboys got on the draft board with Burton’s Bears teammate Tarik Cohen (2.4). Alvin also picked up another runner later, Chris Thompson (2.14), meaning Pogiboys essentially went back-to-back-to-back with their three 2018 picks after trading their RD1 away. Interesting!

Our other two non-keeper quarterbacks went to Fockers (2.9 - Ben Roethlisberger) and Mandalorian Warriors (2.15 - Matt Ryan), and two non-keeper defenses went as well, Ravens (2.11 - Ann Arbor Bamfers) and Another Bad Creation took the Rams (2.16) to clean up the round. In-between all that, Italian Stallionz grabbed the possible Seahawk starter Chris Carson (2.6) after Donny took Robert Woods (2.5) as his second selection, banking on his health and talent. A trio of receivers went 2.7, 2.8, and 2.10 — ABC with rookie Michael Gallup, Cameltoe with Devin Funchess, and Ouroboros with Robby Anderson.

Overall in RD2 we had three QB, four RB, six WR, one TE, and two DST taken. That’s compared to RD1 where ten RB, five WR, and one lone TE were taken.

• Teams Without RD2 Picks: Jedi Knights, Squirtle Squad, Sweep the Leg Zabka
• Shout out to Jedi Knights who haven’t gotten a pick yet!

ROUND THREE
I couldn't resist a quick look at RD3 where we saw a run of ten straight receivers, broken up only by Mandalorian Warriors taking kicker Stephen Gostkowski at 3.5. Other than that, this was the round of the speculative receiver, aside from a RB-WR-RB-TE-RB run to end the round. On to the rest of the draft...

Draft Order 2018

1. P Funk All Stars (2-11)
2. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (2-11)
3. Italian Stallionz (4-9)
4. Team Grrrrrific (4-9) *TB Winner
5. Mandalorian Warriors (4-8-1)
6. Jedi Knights (5-8)
7. Team Cameltoe (6-7)
8. * Fockers (7-6)
9. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6)
10. Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6)
11. Squirtle Squad (8-5)
12. Stink Pink Gators (9-4)
13. MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4)
14. Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-3-1) *Champion
15. Another Bad Creation (10-3)
16. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)

Draft Review & Pre-Draft Trades 2017

Um, we don’t have time for a proper draft review, but it was an exciting time as we saw a whopping seven trades pre/mid-draft, and we also saw the #1 overall pick traded! There were also two preseason trades, giving us a whopping nine moves before the 2017 season has even begun!

• #212: Morrie’s Pogiboys receive Matt Ryan and Cameron Meredith from Hungry Ouroboros for Pogiboys 2020 RD4
• #213: Pooh Bears receive Pogiboys RD1 for Doug Baldwin, Pooh Bears 2017 RD8, RD9, RD10
• #214: Sweep the Leg Zabka receive Jedi Knight 2017 RD7 for Zabka 2017 RD8, RD9, RD10
• #215: Jedi Knights receive Carlos Hyde from Pooh Bears for Jedi 2022 RD2
• #216: Team Grrrrific receive Jameson Crowder from Sweep the Leg Zabka for Team Grrrrific 2020 RD4
• #217: Hungry Ouroboros receive Cameltoe 2017 RD1 (1.6) from Pooh Bears for Ouroboros 2017 RD2 (2.3) and 2018 RD1
• #218: Another Bad Creation receive Leonard Fournette from Hungry Ouroboros for Joe Mixon and 2018 RD1 pick (second earliest of ABC’s 2018 picks)
• #219: Team Cameltoe receive Jared Goff, Zabka's 2018 RD9 from Sweep the Leg Zabka for Cameltoe 2018 RD8
• #220: Hungry Ouroboros receive Dalvin Cook, Jay Cutler from Team Grrrrific in exchange for Kareem Hunt, Tyrod Taylor

For the most part, it was Pogiboys, Ouroboros, and Grrrrific making multiple moves as Pogiboys picked up a new starting quarterback, Matt Ryan, and a new keeper receiver in Doug Baldwin. Pre-keeper declarations, Jedi Knights swooped in to grab Carlos Hyde while Donny made his first move in acquiring Jameson Crowder for a cheap price. And then Ouroboros went to work, trading down from #1 to #4, and then trading again to grab the #6 overall pick as well. — and then making a move to trade that #1.6, Kareem Hunt, in exchange for #1.3, Dalvin Cook after the draft. All in all, an exciting time and we look forward to many more trades this season!

Keeping in line with our diminishing draft reviews by round — we only looked at three last season — we’re gonna just go through the first two rounds here.

ROUND ONE
Rookie running backs were all the rage this year, as Leonard Fournette, Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook, and Joe Mixon went off the board in short order to Another Bad Creation (trade-in), Shoguns of Harlem, Team Grrrrific, and Hungry Hungry Ouroboros respectively. The only rookie receiver to see any love was Corey Davis at 1.5 (Squirtle Squad) and in fact, no other receiver even went until Davante Adams at 1.10 to Fockers. Eleven of the top fourteen picks were running backs, which broke the record of ten running backs drafted in the first round, from 2015.

P Funk All Stars took the gamble on Marshawn Lynch at 1.7, and then it was a pair of Green Bay running backs, rookie Jamaal Williams by Italian Stallionz and Ty Montgomery by Stink Pink Gators afterwards. Green Bay was a popular first round destination as Ann Arbors took Randall Cobb with 1.12 too.

With four picks in the first round, resulting from an incredibly Celtics/Nets type trade a few years ago, Another Bad Creation not only moved up for Fournette but also nabbed Bilal Powell, rookie Samaje Perine, and yet another Packer, new tight end Martellus Bennett. Cleaning up the bottom of the round was 100 Acre Wood Bears, who scooped up rookie quarterback Deshuan Watson with the last pick in the round.

ROUND TWO
And as usual, 100 Acre Pooh Bears had a bunch of extra picks in the early rounds, this time concentrated in RD2, with picks 2.3 (OJ Howard), 2.6 (Ben Roethlisberger), 2.10 (Austin Hooper), and 2.16 (Tyrell Williams). The rich keep getting richer right? And Pooh Bears wasn’t the only team with multiple picks, as the previously named Shoguns of Harlem — now Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada — CGIed themselves into Thomas Rawls at 2.1 and then Mike Wallace with 2.4. Mandalorian Warriors poached New England with their two picks, with James White at 2.11 and our first kicker, Stephen Gostkowski all the way up at 2.7 — a full two rounds above where the first kicker tends to go.

Team Grrrrific grabbed semi-injured rookie Mike Williams early on, a smooth move considering their rebuilding plans, and fellow rookie Alvin Kamara was taken three picks later by Squirtle Squad. With a strong crop of offensive rookies, we saw them fly off the board in the early rounds this draft, including our second rookie TE in Evan Engram (P Funk All Stars, 2.14). Some rookies from last year went early too, like Sterling Shepard, Paul Perkins, and the aforementioned Austin Hooper. All three flashed promise last year but will need more seasoning. Perhaps their sophomore season will be their breakout year?

Relative old man DeSean Jackson — the third oldest player drafted in the first two rounds behind Lynch and Wallace — signals Ann Arbor Bamfers desire to stay in title contention this season. Duke Johnson by Morrie’s Pogiboys and Rob Kelley by Sweep the Leg Zabka are both in questionable playing time arrangements, but could work out.

And here concludes our quick draft review, onto individual teams and divisions! Thanks for completing our CBS draft in record time and thanks to Alvin again for setting up all the behind the scenes stuff, which is incredibly time consuming!

Draft Order 2017

1. Shoguns of Harlem (3-10)
2. Original Salt (4-9)
3. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)
4. Jedi Knights (4-9)
5. Squirtle Squad (4-9)
6. Team Cameltoe (5-8)
7. Mandalorian Warriors (6-7)
8. Italian Stallionz (6-7)
9. Detroit Players (7-6)
10. *Fockers (7-6)
11. Another Bad Creation (8-5)
12. Ann Arbor Bamfers (9-4)
13. MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4)
14. P Funk All Stars (9-4)
15. Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-4)
16. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)

Draft Review 2016

In years past we’ve gone for a five round review, quite a few four round reviews, but this time around we’re gonna do just three rounds due to time constraints!

ROUND ONE
To start things off, we go with two time champs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears, who had an astonishing four first rounders this season, including the #1 overall after winning MnB’s inaugural Toilet Bowl. He nabbed inarguably the most coveted rookie running back in recent memory in Ezekiel Elliot (1.1) and then possibly got the best first-year receiver Sterling Shepard (1.6) too. With picks 1.12 and 1.14, he scooped up Antonio Gates and last year’s breakout Doug Baldwin. That’s quite the haul. Considering last year’s three first round selections turned up Duke Johnson, Charles Johnson, and Chris Ivory, we can expect at least one or two keepers to emerge from 100AW Pooh Bear’s 2016 draft class.

The only other team with two first-rounders was Ann Arbor Bamfers, who shored up their passing attack with rookie Josh Doctson (1.4) and Michael Floyd (1.10). Both could emerge as quality keepers, competing with holdover Golden Tate for the starting receiver slots. And rookie wides were hot selections on draft day, as P Funk All Stars opted for Minnesota’s Laquon Treadwell as the first receiver off the board, followed by Doctson, Corey Coleman (1.5, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros), and Shepard all within the first six picks. It’s likely that some of these guys will bust but it’s clear that this year’s rookie RBs were underwhelming.

Still, Italian Stallionz and Shoguns of Harlem are expecting big things from rookies Devontae Booker (1.7) and Derrick Henry (1.8) respectively, as both have the potential to get lots of touches this year. I guess Porta just needed another Devonta(e) to replace the one he just traded... Big body Derrick Henry could be pressed for duty soon, as Arian Foster is brittle and well, brittle.

Last year, Original Salt came in second-to-last overall in the regular season and their prize is Jonathan Stewart (1.3), who hasn’t played a full season since, well, maybe ever? Will Reno regret not aiming for a younger back with more upside? Time will tell.

The rest of the draft looked like this: Defending champ Another Bad Creation nabbed Jordan Mathews (1.9), Detroit Players took the just injured Dion Lewis (1.11), while last year’s Super Bowl runner-up Sweep the Leg got Matt Jones (1.13), and MoRRie’s Pogiboys watched one-time franchise leader Tom Brady (1.15) go to Squirtle Squad one pick before him, enabling him to clean up the first round with Duke Johnson (1.16).

Teams left out of the first round: Jedi Knights, Team Cameltoe, Fockers, and Mandalorian Warriors.

ROUND TWO
If you were in the market for a starting quarterback — or maybe were on auto-draft — Round Two was your round as Ben Roethlisberger (2.2), Carson Palmer (2.7), Kirk Cousins (2.9), Paxton Lynch (2.11), and Tyrod Taylor (2.15) all went off the board. That sets up quarterback battles for Original Salt (Roethlisberger vs Teddy Bridgewater), Detroit Players (Lynch vs James Winston, last year’s RD2 selection), and Squirtle Squad (Taylor vs Brady, post-suspension). Kirk Cousins will serve as Another Bad Creation’s lead guy again after not being kept despite winning a title last year — although 5.9 selection Jay Cutler may have something to say about that. Curiously, Pooh Bears already have Cam Newton on-board but drafted Carson Palmer pretty high too. Better safe than sorry?

We like Mandalorian Warriors taking DeMarco Murray (2.6) and Willie Snead (2.14) for their two selections, and either or both could have keeper worthy seasons. And in no surprise, TE lover Fockers took Jimmy Graham (2.5) with his first 2016 selection, replacing Gates as his long-beloved.

Retread busts from last year went aplenty in this round too, with Ryan Mathews (2.1), Jay Ajayi (2.4), the aforementioned Murray, Ameer Abdullah (2.10), and Rashad Jennings (2.13). All of these guys were deemed high upside at one point last season but now have had reality set in a bit. Here’s hoping one or two of them push back into the spotlight. Abdullah especially, could be salty after being drafted fourth overall by hometown Detroit Players last season, and then unceremoniously dumped.

Second year receiver Sammie Coates (2.16) could be poised for a breakout, operating in a talent Steelers offense, at least that’s what Pogiboys is hoping. Similarly, Original Salt is hoping Marvin Jones (2.3) is the receiver that takes up the Megatron slack in Detroit, and not Golden Tate. The lone rookie receiver to be taken in RD2 was Tyler Boyd, by Shoguns at 2.12. Last year’s RD2 saw a lot of veteran receivers taken, but this year RD2 was mostly about upside!

ROUND THREE
We didn’t see any DSTs picked until RD4 last season but P Funk All Stars immediately grabbed Panthers with 3.1, setting up Seahawks at 3.3 (Ann Arbor Bamfers), Cardinals (3.12), and Broncos at 3.16 (Italian Stallionz). Four defenses outnumbered the number of running backs drafted in this round, as Original Salt ended up with Charles Sims (3.2), Hungry Ouroboros took rookie DeAndre Washington (3.4), and Warriors grabbed Christine Michael (3.10) hoping he emerges as Beast Mode’s replacement. Totally unbiased but we think Washington is the clear winner here. Ahem.

As for oldie receivers, here are new Raider Michael Crabtree (3.6, Stallionz), DeSean Jackson (3.7, 100AW), and TE Dwayne Allen (3.15, Squirtle). While all could produce, we much prefer the selections of young’uns like Travis Benjamin (Shoguns), Michael Thomas (ABC), and Tajae Sharp (Players). Why not swing for upside this early? Then again, the boom-bust potential of young receivers is scary.

Fockers took Brock Osweiler (3.5) to carry Andrew Luck’s game day book, Sweep the Leg will use Ryan Tannehill (3.13) to motivate Andy Dalton, and auto-draft Joe Flacco (3.14) gets the honor of being Team Cameltoe’s first 2016 selection, and can look forward to bye week action when Russell Wilson sits down. Also, shout out to Jedi Knights, who incredibly didn’t have a pick in the 2016 draft until RD5, which ended up being Mohamed Sanu at 5.12.

Note: Unverified reports are that Knights have moved 2016 RD2, 2017 RD1 & 2, 2018 RD1 & 2 & 4, and firsts from 2019, 2020, and 2021 for Shane Vereen, Marshawn Lynch, and Eli Manning. Somebody get in a time machine and take those trades back!

Let’s congratulate us all on a very speedy and efficient draft. The best decision Alvin ever made was to use CBS to draft for the league, as that implemented hard timers and gave us all a wonderful draft experience. Also, thanks to Alvin for doing all the hard work inputting keepers and draft trades. It’s a part time job, trust me!

Also, last year we saw some major in-draft bombshells but this year was a little quieter, minus a move for Eli Manning, plus the exchange of Devonta Freeman and Allen Hurns for DeAndre Hopkins and a 2018 RD2. Wait, that's a huge trade! We'll get into that later....

Draft Review 2015

It's time to look at the first few rounds of our draft again. Remember when we looked at the relative worth of acquiring first and second rounders? Well, here it is, "Early Round Wheeling and Dealing." The conclusion was: don't know! What we do know is that last year's first round was a total disaster, at least for the first few picks.

I can't see exactly who was picked where -- I've rectified that this year by copying CBS' info over to our spreadsheet -- but here were the first seven picks in 2014: Brandin Cooks, Sammy Watkins, Philip Rivers, Jeremy Maclin, Toby Gerhart, Carlos Hyde, and Bishop Sankey. Ouchies. It was actually better to grab the likes of Golden Tate or T.Y. Hilton later on in the round. And it's not like the 2013 draft was much better, with at least 50% flameouts early on. So, let's take a look at 2015 shall we? [Draft Review 2014 | 2013]

ROUND ONE
Hungry Ouroboros bold move for the number one overall selection turned into Todd Gurley, the next Adrian Peterson, albeit with a bum knee. It’ll be interesting if he’ll be able to outplay his fellow rookie running backs over the next few years, or if he becomes an injury hobbled waste of a first pick. Top rookie wideout Amari Cooper went next to P Funk All Stars, and let’s hope he’s better than Tavon Austin, Paolo’s last #2 overall rookie wide receiver.

There was a lot of talk that Melvin Gordon could go #1 based on his opportunities, his skill set, and San Diego being Jon’s hometown, but Jon dislikes all Chargers on principle (“they’re chokers!”) and Gordon went to Ann Arbor Bamfers at 1.3, which means he’ll learn under the tutelage of Frank Gore and CJ Spiller.

And at 1.4, Detroit Players traded down and still got their man, the electric Ameer Abdullah. “Finally, I can cheer for my home team again,” Felipe was heard to exclaim. Overall, six of the first seven picks were rookies, with only Squirtle Squad’s Lamar Miller at 1.5. Right after Miller went Nelson Agholor (Bamfers), Tevin Coleman (Stallionz), and Duke Johnson (Pooh Bears).

As always, Pooh Bears had plenty of picks, and he got two Johnsons back-to-back — Duke and Charles (1.9). Our defending champs, Original Salt, must not believe in Big Ben’s ability to stay healthy as he scooped up Teddy Bridgewater right afterwards. Aside from Devin Funchess at 1.13 to Stallionz, it was a fire sale on running backs after Original Salt’s pick, with rookie TJ Yeldon (Another Bad Creation), Jonathan Stewart (Sweep the Leg Zabka), Alfred Blue (Shoguns of Harlem), and Chris Ivory (Pooh Bears’ third first-rounder) all flying off the board. Detroit Players cleaned up the first round with his second first-rounder, grabbing receiver Breshad Perriman, another rookie.

With the way RD1 picks tend to bust, we should start a side pool to see who can guess the best/worst ones! Right?

ROUND TWO
The second round was mostly about older receivers, with Original Salt and Pooh Bears each getting two: Brandon LaFell (2.7), Anquan Boldin (2.10) to Salt and Jason Witten (2.7), Steve Smith (2.8) to Bears. Victor Cruz also got a look, from Sweep the Leg Zabka at 2.12. [Ed. note: Here’s hoping Cruz has a horrible season, as I was forced to cut him from my keeper team. Although he had a fun cameo on Season 1 of Ballers.]

There was also a fair share of retread running backs and “maybe they’ll get a shot” guys. Tre Mason (2.2, Bamfers), Bishop Sankey (2.13, Warriors), Shane Vereen (2.14), and Danny Woodhead (2.16, both Jedi Knights). The first pick of the second round, P Funk All Stars’, is already out for eight weeks, as rookie running back David Cobb will take a seat on injured reserve. Ouch.

The two highly touted rookie quarterbacks went this round, as Jameis Winston (2.8) joins Detroit Players and will actually get a chance to start since Ariel's team was the only one without a QB keeper. On the other hand, Marcus Mariota (2.15) will become Matthew Stafford’s understudy for Italian Stallionz. We like the alliteration of "Matthew and Marcus" already!

Hungry Ouroboros seemingly auto-picked Rashad Jennings (2.5) but that’s actually who he wanted anyway. No, honestly! The most immediate upside guy from this round is John Brown, 2.6 to Pogiboys, as it’s being said that Brown’s the heir apparent to Larry Fitzgerald, and not Michael Floyd. Or maybe Cody Latimer (2.11, ABC) has something to say about that as he tried to become Wes Welker-lite in Denver.

If you’re counting at home, both Pooh Bears and Players had a bunch of RD1 and RD2 picks. For posterity, here they are: Duke Johnson (1.8), Charles Johnson (1.9), Chris Ivory (1.15), Jason Witten (2.7), Steve Smith (2.9) for Bears versus Ameer Abdullah (1.4), Breshad Perriman (1.16), Maxx Williams (2.3), Jameis Winston (2.8) for Players. Which group will turn out better?

ROUND THREE
Say hello to Cameltoe and Fockers as they join us for the 2015 draft! Both draft tight ends, as Cameltoe grabbed Julius Thomas (3.9) while Fockers lifted inevitably took Antonio Gates (3.15). A couple of quarterbacks were auto-picked, as Jay Cutler (3.2) and Philip Rivers (3.5) both went to Bamfers. It’s actually hard to argue those two picks since we don’t believe in Colin Kaepernick’s skills anymore. Still, three quarterbacks seem like overkill? Someone teach Randy how to queue players! Detroit Players also went all upside with auto-grab Sam Bradford (3.8) to compete with Jameis Winston on opening day.

And that’s not all the QBs drafted. Carson Palmer (3.7) will back up Cam Newton, Alex Smith (3.11) will game manage for Aaron Rodger’s two missed games this season, and Andy Dalton (3.12) will just hang out behind Eli Manning because Eli never misses games.

Blake Bortles (3.13) was going to get a chance to start for Pogiboys but now Tom Brady will come back after annihilating Roger Goodell in court. I bet Bortles feels <insert pun>. Shoguns of Harlem did grab intriguing prospect Tyrod Taylor (3.14) at the end of the round, and maybe he could learn a thing or two watching Tony Romo’s improvisational daring. Let’s just call RD3 the quarterback round as there were eight QBs selected, keeping with the quarterback heavy tradition in years past.

Also, can you believe that no defenses have been drafted through the first three rounds? In 2013 we saw a defense auto-picked in the first round, and 2014 had the the first defense selected at the end of the second round. Well, I’m happy to say that no defenses was picked at all until round four, great job guys! (Except for the two unnamed owners who kept Ravens and Texans DST. Like, seriously?)

You tell me if Devante Parker (3.1), David Johnson (3.3), Knile Davis (3.4), Stevie Johnson (3.6), Reggie Bush (3.10), and Eddie Royal (3.16) will pan out. Usually by round three it’s just reaching for anyone who will get some guaranteed playing time. Of those names, we like Bush to get some solid touches.

ROUND FOUR
Almost nobody drafted down here can be properly evaluated. I mean, where was Odell Beckham Jr. drafted last year? Undrafted? Take a look at RD4s of years past and it’s basically no-man’s land, with nary a solid starter in sight, much less a future keeper. Two DSTs went this round, as did the top kicker, Stephen Gostkowski (4.3), fittingly to Sweep the Leg. And double ouch, P Funk All Stars already lost rookie running back David Cobb, the first pick of the second round, and now Jonas Gray (4.1) has been released by the Patriots. Someone get Paolo to a doctor!

Anyone else of interest down here? We think Josh Hill could be a big get at 4.9 for Cameltoe, but it’s hard to tell if he was auto-drafted. Hill was projected at #3 TE in my magazine and I was hoping to steal him one round later, oh well. Maybe Terrance Williams (4.5) will break out for Warriors, or maybe an old vet like Pierre Garcon (4.12) is a better bet this far down. We’re swimming in the dark here, and this year’s RD4 seemed particular boring.

Lots more upside guys went in RD5 actually, with a whole bunch of young receiers flying off the boards. I mean, who is Jaelen Strong on the Texans? I’ve been watching Hard Knocks every week and never even heard of him! The only receiver to draft off that team, aside from DeAndre Hopkins should be breakout reality star Uzoma “EZ” Nwachukwu right? Actually, can I draft cornerback Charles James II as a running back? He’s amazing!

I guess that’s it, another draft in the books. Let’s see how many of these rookies pan out, and let’s hope Todd Gurley is the next Steven Jackson, or maybe the next Christian Okoye! Niiiiigeeeriiian Niiiightmare!

Draft Trades 2015

I thought last year we had a lot of trades, seven pre-draft, but this year blows that total out of the water! Okay technically there were only four trades before the draft but in total there were ten between the pre-draft stuff and in-draft moves. And some huge names were changed! Let's take a look...

2015 Pre-Draft Trades:

• #194: Hungry Ouroboros trade 2015 RD4 to Sweep the Zabka for Torrey Smith
• #195: Hungry Ouroboros trade 2016 RD4 to Pooh Bears for Martellus Bennet
• #196: Fockers trade 2015 RD1, 2015 RD2, 2016 RD1, 2017 RD2, 2018 RD3 to Pooh Bears for Dez Bryant and Davante Adams
• #197: Detroit Players trade 2015 RD1 to Hungry Ouroboros for 2015 RD1, 2015 RD2 

Right before keeper declarations is always a tense time for the league. Who will sell off extra guys? What caliber of player will change hands? Two teams moved to enhance their keeper core, with Hungry Ouroboros trading a pair of RD4 picks for Torrey Smith and Martellus Bennett. GM Jon really swung for the fences there and sprung his team right from the bottom, well, right back to the bottom. Still, some pre-keeper moves were welcome to get the fantasy season started.

Then Fockers, last year’s Super Bowl losers came in huge with a gigantic trade for Dez Bryant and Davante Adams. We already talked about how Bryant will push Fockers to a top keeper core, but what about that gargantuan price: two firsts (2015, 2016), two seconds (2015, 2017), and a third (2018). Who will get the better of that deal? I guess we’ll find out at the end of the season to see if Fockers is flashing that Super Bowl bling! And let's keep in mind how well Fockers' last pre-draft mega-trade worked out for Hong, catapulting him on his current rise to the top.

And right before the final bell, as the draft was about to start, Hungry Ouroboros struck again, moving from their #4 overall slot all the way up to #1. Detroit Players won the 2015 lottery but evidently was willing to move down a few slots to get their guy. Rumors were that Ariel was happy with two of the top rookies and was more than happy to grab an extra high second rounder to move down. What did Jon do with that #1 pick? Read the draft review to find out!

2015 Draft Trades:

• #198: Jedi Knights trade 2016 RD2, 2017 RD2 to Shoguns of Harlem for 2015 RD2
• #199: Cameltoe trade 2016 RD2, 2018 RD1, 2019 RD1 to Mandalorian Warriors for CJ Anderson
• #200: Pogiboys trade 2017 RD1, 2018 RD1, 2020 RD1 to Another Bad Creation for LeSean McCoy and 2018 RD4
• #201: Italian Stallionz trade 2015 RD3 to Pogiboys for 2015 RD4, 2016 RD5
• #202: Jedi Knights trade 2017 RD1, 2018 RD1, 2018 RD2, 2019 RD1 to Another Bad Creation for Marshawn Lynch
• #203: Another Bad Creation trade 2017 RD5 to Pooh Bears for 2015 RD7, 2015 RD8, 2015 RD9, 2015 RD10

And if you thought the trade for one of the best receivers in the game, or for the number one overall pick, was exciting, look at what came next! A trio of super RBs were traded: Marshawn Lynch, LeSean McCoy, and CJ Anderson. Let’s start with that latter trade, as the blow-it-all-up Mandalorian Warriors moved a likely top ten back for two long-in-the-future firsts (2018, 2019) and a current second (2016). Why not earlier first rounders? Because GM Felipe already traded 2016 and 2017’s RD1 to 100 Acre Wood Bears! So, no joke, Team Cameltoe won’t be seeing a first rounder until 2020! This trade will give them a nice backfield partner for Doug Martin though, and it looked like Cameltoe was making a strong push for the division title.

But oh wait, a few moments later, Morrie’s Pogiboys struck back with a huge trade of their own, moving three first-rounders (2017, 2018, 2020) for the services of LeSean McCoy! That gave Alvin two top running backs in Eddie Lacy and McCoy, and put Pogiboys back into the driver seat for the newly named Moose Knuckle division. The games haven't even started yet and the competition is heating up!

And then a few days later, another bomb dropped as Another Bad Creation chose to cast off their other franchise running back, Marshawn Lynch, to Jedi Knights for three firsts (2017, 2018, 2019) and a second (2018). What was going on!?! Reached for comment after the moves that completely stripped his backfield, GM Oliver had this to say “I was getting bored of those guys. Marshawn, LeSean, it’s been real, but see ya!” We’re not sure how Aaron Rodgers felt about last year's 8-5 team getting wrecked like that, but we’re guessing he’s not too happy. It’s possible that Rodgers may find himself demanding a trade soon.

In sum, Another Bad Creation received six first-rounders and a second for his pair of top five-ish running backs. (Note: McCoy was acquired last mid-season in trade ID#189 for a first and a second, so that was a huge profit here.) We’re pretty sure ABC is headed for the bottom of the standings now, unless Joique Bell and whoever Oliver acquires during the draft is ready to shoulder the load. It'll be interesting to see what ABC gets with all those future picks though.

As for Jedi Knights, the team who ruled over all of Maize and Blue last season — well, in the regular season anyway — Lum will take this gift from his in-division rival and push all his chips in with Peyton Manning, Lynch, Alfred Morris, and the rest of his already strong keeper core. In the end, it looks like certain teams moved to get into/retain their contender status while two former champs decided to pull back and rebuild. (What's this we hear about Mandalorian Warriors also willing to move Drew Brees for the right price?...) And let's not forget our defending champs, Original Salt, who sat on the Maize and Blue throne and watched as all the little people positioned themselves to grovel at his feet...

Of course there were a number of smaller draft position trades too, but with the fireworks we just described, they're just not worth covering. So, let’s see what happens during our draft then and thanks for all the excitement guys! More trades, more trades!

Draft Order 2015

Last year, the defending champs got the #1 overall draft pick. This time, 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears threatened to do the same, with their plethora of extra first rounders. Actually, I didn't know this, but the lottery is weighted in favor of the best non-playoff team, meaning that the winning teams were at an advantage. And since this was our last lottery (ever?), it would have been exciting to see a one-in-a-million shot team like P Funk All Stars win the first pick.

Alas, Detroit Players, with a 8/36 chance -- Pooh Bears and Ann Arbor Bamfers both had 7/36 shots -- won the whole shebang and will have the right to select first in 2015. Still, it's a fitting end to this lottery system, as the team that "deserved" it, got it. And starting next season, it's the Toilet Bowl!

2015 Draft Order:

1. P Funk All Stars (2-11)
2. Ann Arbor Bamfers (3-10)
3. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)
4. Squirtle Squad (4-9)
5. Mandalorian Warriors (5-8)
6. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (5-7-1)
7. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (7-6)
8. Detroit Players (6-5-2)
9. Team Cameltoe (6-7)
10. Original Salt (6-7)
11. Another Bad Creation (8-5)
12. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
13. Italian Stallionz (8-5)
14. Shoguns of Harlem (8-4-1)
15. Fockers (10-3)
16. Jedi Knights (12-1)

Draft Review 2014

Let's go, it's football time! A brief look at our recent draft. Last year's version here.

ROUND ONE
The last two years featured rookie running backs plucked at #1 — Trent Richardson and Le’Veon Bell — but this time it was rookie receiver Brandin Cooks who went number one overall to defending champ 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears. Right after Cooks was another rookie WR, Buffalo’s Sammy Watkins, who went to the new ownership group behind Sweep the Leg Zabka. (Not having an owner on auto-draft sure is an upgrade in competitiveness already! Recall Tartars’ horrific auto-drafting last season...) In fact, it wasn’t until pick 1.6 that a rookie RB was drafted, Carlos Hyde followed immediately by Bishop Sankey.

Fockers had two first rounders and he went for pure upside with Sankey and Ladarius Green, Antonio Gates’ successor at tight end. CBS’s auto-generated draft recap gave Fockers the best draft review: "True football glory is months away, but Fockers have given themselves the best chance of achieving it, winding up with the top ranked draft.” Wow, can a computer be right? Are Hong and Eric’s team really the best? The CBS projected worst team in the league, P Funk All Stars, had three first rounders, and Paolo went for home run picks also, with Eric Ebron (1.11), rookie Terrance West (1.14), and Christine Michael (1.16). Here’s hoping all three work out, as P Funk needs a talent infusion immediately.

There’s a chance that Toby Gerhart (1.5) could be the steal of the draft, as he has a starting gig in Jacksonville. Of course, he was an auto-pick, just like Jay Cutler up at 1.3 by Original Salt. That could work out well, as Reno’s team is looking for a starting QB after letting Philip Rivers walk in the off-season. A move we lauded in the keeper preview.  Rivers will be taking his resurgent career to Squirtle Squad this season. Brian’s team ended last season with Ryan Tannehill and Jay Cutler on his roster, so basically Reno and Brian are just swapping starting signal callers this season.

Shoguns of Harlem took Jeremy Maclin very high at 1.4, bypassing all the young talent this year for Philadelphia’s new number one option. Two more young-ish receiving vets went in the first round: Golden Tate (Ann 1.9) and T.Y. Hilton (Jedi Knights, 1.13). Both are number two options on their respective teams, but could put up big numbers anyway. The rest of the draft included an auto-pick of Patriots defense at 1.12 by Detroit Players and the last rookie running back of any value, Devonta Freeman at 1.15 by MoRRie’s Pogiboys.

ROUND TWO
Adding to their riches, 100 Acre Pooh Bears had three second round picks. They grabbed rookie receiver Mike Evans (2.1) and then Teddy Bridgewater (2.10) and Johnny Manziel (2.14) to corner the market on rookie QBs. What, no Blake Bortles here?

Sweep the Leg Zabka added another hyped rookie receiver, Kelvin Benjamin (2.2) to Watkins, while Original Salt backed up Jay Cutler with Ben Roethlisberger (2.3). Drafting right after Shoguns of Harlem, I noticed how often he would take players I wanted, such as Justin Hunter at pick 2.4. That forced team retread Darren Sproles at 2.5 for Hungry Ourobouros, followed by sophomore receiver Markus Wheaton at 2.6 for Another Bad Creation, making Wheaton ABC's first draft pick since they didn’t have a first rounder. Italian Stallionz also got on the 2014 draft board with rookie receiver Marqise Lee at 2.7. Next, Fockers drafted old favorite Carson Palmer, despite having the indestructible Andrew Luck at quarterback. Curious move. MoRRie’s Pogiboys went old, Dwayne Bowe (2.9), and then young with rookie RB Khiry Robinson (2.11) with his two second round picks.

The bottom of the second round featured the now very well positioned rookie RB Jeremy Hill (2.13) to Detroit Players and a shot in the dark by Jedi Knights at Lamar Miller (2.14). Mandalorian Warriors got the consensus defense, Seahawks with the second-to-last pick, while Ann Arbor Bamfers took Heath Miller to clean up.

ROUND THREE
Conspicuously missing from all this drafting action was Team Cameltoe, who had the highest draft slot due to last year’s horrific 2-11 record, but their first two picks of 2014 were traded to Pooh Bears — including the #1 overall. And in a scary look at the future, Pooh Bears owns Cameltoe’s 2015 RD1&2, 2016 RD1, and 2017 RD1&2 picks. So um, enjoy drafting in the third round for awhile Felipe! With his first pick this year, Felipe decided to auto-draft and pulled up rookie Andre Williams, who actually isn’t a bad pick at all, as he could start for the Giants sooner than later.

We originally lauded Original Salt for not keeping a quarterback and freeing up a slot for position players, but if Reno is going to go QB-QB-QB with his first three picks anyway, it seems like he should have just kept a signal caller at the expense of using his draft on Cutler, Roethlisberger, and now Ryan Tannehill (3.3).  Then again, maybe QBs are flying off the board in round three, with Jake Locker (3.4), the now ACL-torn Sam Bradford (3.12), Alex Smith (3.15), and Blake Bortles (3.16) all gone by the end. Round three also seemed like when the top defenses were drafted, with ABC taking Cardinals (3.6), Bamfers snagging Rams (3.9), and Jedi Knights with Browns (3.13).

As for the non QB/DSTs, it was high upside receiver Jordan Matthews at 3.2 for Squirtle Squad, followed by a vet RB run of Pierre Thomas, LeGarrette Blount, and Danny Woodhead — the latter both by Fockers in consecutive picks. Youngsters Kenny Stills and Odell Beckham (P Funk’s first third-rounder, he took Bradford one pick later) were happy to be taken up high, and old warhorse Reggie Wayne (3.14) will get a chance for a title with Pooh Bears.

ROUND FOUR
We reviewed through five rounds in 2012, and then four rounds in 2013, so it would make sense to stop at RD3 for this year, but we’ll forge on ahead! After all, it’s the middle rounds where mega-value is created. Maybe super sleeper Travis Kelce (4.15) is Pogiboys’ next great tight end? Or perhaps David Carr (P Funk, 4.11) will emerge as the best fantasy quarterback of his class. Heck, there’s a chance Bryce Brown (4.10) could emerge out of Buffalo’s crowded backfield. Okay, maybe not.

Actually, let’s just look at some interesting picks during this round and the next two. We like Arian Foster’s handcuff, second year RB Jonathan Grimes (4.3). Charles Clay to Another Bad Creation at 4.6. We think Cecil Shorts (4.16) could be a steal for Warriors, if Shorts can return to form. And then we have intriguing TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins (5.13), which started a run of three straight Tampa Bay players: Seferian-Jenkins, Buccaneers defense, and Josh McCown. That’s when you know it’s getting dirty, when the lowly Bucs start to get combed over for talent!

Draft Order 2014

Fockers had great odds to land the #1 overall pick, with 40% or so of the lottery chips. They had their pick and also Italian Stallionz’s number one from last year’s Matt Stafford trade. However, the odds were not in Hong’s favor as 100 Acre Pooh Bears vaulted into the top spot despite only a 20% chance. Jose had three lottery picks, owed from his deals with Team Cameltoe and Another Bad Creation. Indeed, it turned out that Cameltoe’s pick came through and now our defending 2013 champions get the first pick. The rich get richer I guess. Note: This is Pooh Bear’s second #1 pick in three years, as they won in 2012 on the strength of owning P Funk All Stars’ first rounder. Should Pooh Bears rename themselves the Cavaliers for the season? (Oh wait, that would imply Lebron won the title last year, haha. Sucker!)

2014 Draft Order:

1. Team Cameltoe (2-11)
2. Sweep the Leg Zabka (4-9)
3. Original Salt (4-9)
4. Shoguns of Harlem (4-9)
5. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (5-8)
6. Another Bad Creation (5-8)
7. Italian Stallionz (6-7)
8. Fockers (7-6)
9. Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
10. Squirtle Squad (7-6)
11. P Funk All Stars (8-5)
12. Detroit Players (8-5)
13. Jedi Knights (8-5)
14. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4)
15. MoRRie's Pogiboys (10-3)
16. Mandalorian Warriors (11-2)

Draft Review 2013

The draft is still in it's ending stages, but let's go ahead and do a quick review. And here was 2012's draft review in case you wanna refresh your memory.

Round One
There was some intrigue at the top of the draft as first time GM Hong would be doing the selecting for Human Amoebas. Without a sure thing running back coming out of the collegiate ranks, this pick could already become make or break for Hong. After days of agonizing, GM Hong chose to tap Le'veon Bell to become his back of the future. (In a league called Maize and Blue, Hong decides to go with a Michigan State player first? Traitor!) Shockingly, he had a shot at another young RB with Amoeba's second first round selection, 1.06, and took Montee Ball -- whom he was considering for number one overall. In one fell swoop, Hong got two highly touted rookies to take over the running duties from Ahmad Bradshaw and DeAngelo Williams. Brilliant, now it's Ball and Bell into the future!

At 1.02, P Funk All-Stars needed some star power and went for "sure thing" wideout Tavon Austin. We like this pick, as Paolo desperately needed someone on the roster capable of making a fantasy Pro Bowl. Paolo can only hope that Austin becomes the game changer he's advertised to be as we're positive his two other late first rounders won't become breakouts -- TE Jared Cook (1.14) and RB Ryan Mathews (1.15).

The most interesting story of the draft was how Pogiboys moved up to grab two of the top four selections, and now had four first rounders total. His haul ended up being Lamar Miller (1.03), Eddie Lacy (1.04), and DeSean Jackson (1.09). Plus a trade away of a pick for Tom Brady. With those selections, Alvin could have rebuilt his team and made the moves to return to the post-season. Nicely done.

Let's talk about autopicks. The reason Montee Ball slipped to Amoebas at 1.06, and also Giovani Bernard to Hungry Hungry Ouroboros at 1.07, was because Wayne State Tartars let the computer do their picking for them. With multiple needs, and an especially glaring hole in the receiving department, Jay took Seahawks DST at 1.05 and then Andy Dalton at 1.08. That early defense pick was obviously, well, indefensible. And even though Dalton could make nice insurance for Ben Roethlisberger, quarterbacks were readily available a few rounds later. It's safe to say that we could see the Tartars picking low high again next year.

Porta's Italian Stallionz beefed up their receiving corps by adding something new, DeAndre Hopkins, and something old, Anquan Boldin. Dunder Mifflin Paper Company hopes Miles Austin can still be a #2 receiver behind Dwayne Bowe, we think he can be. We also like Shane Vereen, selected by 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears at 1.10. He'll have plenty of time to develop behind Ray Rice and Doug Martin. The Detroit Players finished up the round by taking the fifth rooking RB, the Seahawks' Christine Michael. It would be fantastic if Michael could be pressed into duty immediately as Ariel's team only has DeMarco Murray around. But we're pretty sure Michael won't get much work behind Marshawn Lynch.

Best pick: Montee Ball, Human Amoebas (1.06)
Most obscure: Christine Michael, Detroit Players (1.16)
Total RD1 Picks Traded Previously: Nine

Round Two
P Funk may have gotten a steal with Andre Brown at the top of RD2. That, along with his later addition in the same round of BenJarvus Green-Ellis will really help shore up his non-existent backfield previously consisting of Mark Ingram. Rhythm Drive got on board in the 2013 draft with auto-pick Bernard Pierce. The 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears were still reeling from losing Ray Rice's handcuff when they jumped on Rams' receiver Chris Givens, who could emerge in his second year.

Speaking of handcuffs, Ben Tate, free agent to be, might be an absolute steal here, as Arian Foster is dinged up. Foster now belongs to Dunder Mifflin Paper Company and it would be interesting to see if this is finally Foster's year to stick on a roster. Hungry Ouroboros snapped up Johnathan Franklin for another wild card rookie running back shot.

They were a lot of high upside, low track history receivers grabbed this round: Givens, Cordarrelle Patterson (Detroit Players), Robert Woods (Human Amoebas), Kenny Britt (Ann Arbor Bamfers), Golden Tate (Another Bad Creation), and Emmanuel Sanders (Jedi Knights). Any one of these guys could emerge as solid contributors. For our money, we like Golden Tate, who just sounds like he should be a star.

Interestingly, 100 Acre Pooh Bears took rookie QB E.J. Manuel at 2.14, ahead of many other established signal callers. He'll sit the pine behind Cam Newton. J must have seen something in Manuel he deeply coveted. The Pooh Bears had three second rounders and added Lance Moore to the mix along with Manuel and Givens.

Defending champ Mandalorian Warriors grabbed Bears DST and Greg Olsen to flesh out their spectacular keeper core. We think going defense this early -- on purpose -- is dicey, but perhaps getting a top tier defense in such a deep league is worth it. Someone do a study on this. Oh wait, that someone should be me!

Best pick: Ben Tate, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (2.12)
Hardest name to spell: Cordarrelle Patterson, Detroit Players (2.07)
Total RD2 Picks Traded Previously: Six

Round Three
Man, this draft got shallow real quick. Ryan Broyles, Jordan Cameron, Rueben Randle, Marcus Lattimore, Zac Stacy, and Denarius Moore were six of the first seven picks. Not a one of them have any sort of track record. But that's what we like about a sixteen team league: Mining for gems! We see some potential on that list but it's almost guaranteed that only a few of these guys will work out. We're thinking maybe Rueben Randle has the best shot, as Hakeem Nicks is clearly on the decline.

A handful of backup quarterbacks were taken here: Josh Freeman (Wayne State Tartars), Jay Cutler (Human Amoebas), and Carson Palmer (Morrie's Pogiboys). Yes that means WS Tartars now has Roethlisberger, Dalton, and Freeman to man one quarterback position. And guess what, Freeman was another auto-draft pick… Paging Jay, paging Jay...

Three team defenses were selected this round, which again, intrigues me because technically we're in about RD9 of a full on draft, and maybe that's when defenses could go off the board but it seems awfully early. Then again, it's not like selecting DEF early is a new thing. Last year Paolo selected 49ers at 1.14 and they ended up being the seventh best defense. Is selecting any top defense really that worth it? It's a crapshoot no?

Three way tie for people most owners probably needed to Google goes to Tyler Eifert, Aaron Dobson, and Kenbrell Thompkins. The later two are New England's young receivers, and it's clear that Porta and J are mining for Wes Welker successors.

Best pick: Not Josh Freeman, Wayne State Tartars (3.04)
Correct way to pronouce "Eifer": Does it rhyme with "effort" or is it "eeeee-fert?" Maybe a silent e? I-fert?
Total draft picks Pogiboys had at the conclusion of RD3: Nine, with a few traded away during the draft

Round Four
This was the quarterback round, as Matt Schaub, Brandon Weeden, Alex Smith, Geno Smith, Michael Vick, and Jake Locker all went in the top half of the round. Last year there really wasn't a quarterback rush at all, as a few were selected during each 2012 round. Perhaps that speaks to how many middling and intriguing QBs there are now.

We think Team Cameltoe could possibly get a steal if Sidney Rice ever finds his way back on a field. To wrap up the round, some low upside RBs such as Bryce Brown, Bilal Powell, Danny Woodhead, and Shonn Greene were snapped up. Actually, Brown could be very useful if LeSean McCoy ever goes down, he's proven to capable of some big numbers when given carries. Did the computer just make an okay pick for Tartars? Whoopee!

Last year we evaluated the top five rounds but we're stopping one round earlier this season. Round five saw our first kicker, Stephen Gostkowski taken at 3.01, and from there on down it was a smattering of young guys, veterans that have busted, and the usual riffraff. Next year we may have to change up the format of the draft review, as I've really got no idea if say, Knile Davis, Stepfan Taylor, Rod Streater is a good pick or not. Seriously, who are they? You guys must be doing some super deep research.

Oh right, and Squirtle Squad won the Denard Robinson sweepstakes at 5.05. "During offseason workouts [Robinson] played as a running back, quarterback, wideout and also returned kickoffs and punts. But he would drop passes, fumble snaps and not bring in punts." Go Blue!

Draft Review 2012

Yes, I'm aware the draft is still going on but I don't care. Here at MB-ESPN we like to jump the gun on everything. Plus there's a good reason we're only gonna cover the first five rounds. You'll see below. If I've somehow evaluated your players falsely, please send a formal complaint to the commissioner. Just remember, it's not personal. Okay, you're right, it's totally personal.

Round One
After trading up for the number one overall pick, Pogiboys went with the consensus number one rookie, RB Trent Richardson. With a gaping hole at running back, people say that Richardson is the next Adrian Peterson but it seems like so far the only thing they have in common is a knee injury. Still, this was the absolute right pick here. The other widely touted rookie, RB Doug Martin went next to Pooh Bears, who moved quite a few picks to get up to 1.2. Martin will be a nice luxury since he'll get the chance to grow into his role behind Ray Rice and Ryan Mathews.

Part of the huge bounty of picks received by the Amoebas' 2010 trade of Andre Johnson, GM Eric shocked pundits by taking Andrew Luck off the board. With franchise caliber Matthew Stafford already a keeper, what was the thinking? Sources at Amoebas' camp said that Luck will be purely a developmental pick. "We looked around and saw that all the great QBs of the moment were big white guys who stood around in the pocket. Guess what Luck is? A big white guy who stands in the pocket! We're proud to have Stafford on board but having two big white guys can't hurt. We could also play them both at the same time, which could really confuse opponents." If Luck develops as expected, Eric could have a great trade chip in the coming few months.

The last top rookie to go, QB Robert Griffin III, was destined for Detroit Players at 1.4. One of the few franchises that didn't keep a QB, they had Tim Tebow last year but will substitute a new run/pass threat. If RG3 is the next Cam Newton, this pick will go a long way toward Ariel's rebuild. Even though we'd love to tell you that this pick isn't going to help. It probably will. We would like to know who the choice would have been between Luck and Griffin, if Amoebas hadn't leapt in. Care to disclose Ariel?

The Pooh Bears and Bamfers went twice before most teams had even gone once. J went with Kendall Wright while Randy went with hometown sleeper Titus Young. We like both of them and think Young especially will get see a nice season. Wright is likely too young to make a true difference but someone has to catch the ball in Tennessee and Wright could be it.

The Itallion Stallionz scooped up Demaryius Thomas and Steven Ridley at 1.5 and 1.8 respectively. Porta's gonna need both to step up immediately to fill out his starting roster. We think both will pan out nicely and will be solid. The Bamfers selected Benjarvus Green-Ellis after Thomas and then Cameltoe swiped David Wilson. Which RB do we like better? Well, the Bamfers already have Fred Jackson, Frank Gore, Peyton Hillis, and CJ Spiller so we'd have preferred someone with a bit more upside than Green-Ellis for this pick. However, it's hard to argue with a guaranteed 10 TDs from Law Firm. I mean, if by guaranteed you mean "maybe." As for David Wilson, he could be a sneaky great pick for when Ahmad Bradshaw inevitably goes down. We like Felipe's upside gamble here. Wilson has already been making a name for himself this pre-season by "running with such flair that teammates have to tell him to tone it down."

Wilson probably replied, "Flair? That's not flair. I'll show you flair."

Rhythm Drive wins the "first pick I had to Google" contest when Reno selected TE Coby Fleener with pick 1.11. Fleener could be the next great tight end at an imposing 6-foot-6, 250 lbs. And he will definitely serve as a dominating center for Reno's AAU squads. Let's hope Fleener likes to play basketball in his off-seasons. We like what Reno did here, making a pick for fantasy and for real life. How he'll disguise Fleener as a sixth grader is beyond me though.

Earlier this week it was announced that The Office is coming back for one last season so this is the year Dunder Mifflin Paper Company has to make its big championship push right? With a strong running game, Mike needs his first round pick, WR Malcolm Floyd, to really come through. I can tell you that there are literally no wide receivers in San Diego left -- the Chargers even called me in yesterday for a tryout, but I ran a 8.2 in the 40 so that didn't help -- and Floyd will have every opportunity to become the next Vincent Jackson.

We thought RB Isaac Redman would have gone higher since he could take over starting duties in Pittsburgh. P Funk All Stars used the first of their back-to-backs on Redman and that could pan out nicely as this team desperately needs another runner to step up. You could question selecting a D/ST in the first round but 49ers defense should be a top three squad and Paolo knows that with his offense in some upheaveal, a strong defense could lead the way to a few wins. We'd like P Funk to draft Tim Tebow late, so we can recreate the fantasy version of the the 2011 Broncos season. A stiff defense, the magic of Tebow, all leading to a head scratching playoff spot. We gave P Funk awful keeper scores so we're interested to see what kind of upside picks are coming.

Wrapping up an interesting first round was Jedi Knights with RB Kevin Smith and Another Bad Creation grabbing Reggie Bush with the last selection. We think Smith will be a great sleeper and if he can stay healthy, he's immediately Chris' best running back. As for Oliver's pick, he'll get a low end starting RB in Bush and that could be perfect as Marshawn Lynch and Darren McFadden will get most of the carries anyway.

Best pick: Isaac Redman, P Funk All Stars (1.13)
Most obscure: Coby Fleener, Rhythm Drive (1.11)

Round Two
Starting off the next round, Squirtle Squad gets in the action by taking RB Ronnie Hillman. The Broncos rookie will take some time rounding into form as he's been dinged up but he could become useful later in the season as he elevates himself to Willis McGahee's backup and probable successor. Brian will need another starter though, as Adrian Peterson is the only other RB on the roster. Only one other running back was picked this round, Donald Brown way down at 2.11 by Reno.

At the top of the round after Hillman was Justin Blackmon, Nate Washington, Reggie Wayne, and TE Kyle Rudolph. Throw in Anquan Boldin (2.8), Derrius Heyward-Bey (2.12), and TEs Fred Davis and Jared Cook and it was clear that most owners were looking for serviceable pass catchers. How did Reggie Wayne slip to Porta at 2.3? Sure he's not that good anymore but he's a 1,000 yard receiver at the very worst. We think he's a steal here.

Pogiboys and Mandalorian Warriors both had three second round selections but they did very different things with them. Alvin pretty much had to go starting quarterback hunting, and he took Josh Freeman and Jake Locker. We like Freeman to have a bounce back year. Furthermore, the Pogiboys will need Nate Washington to be the wide receiver that takes charge in Tennessee. He could certainly do it, as Washington was surprisingly effective last year in a desperate situation.

Newsflash if you didn't know, the Mandalorian Warriors are going for a championship this season. After a bitter defeat in the Super Bowl last season, the Warriors have traded the future for the now. With an enviable keeper core and no first round draft picks until the back half of this decade, Matt went for a strong backup quarterback for Drew Brees in Ben Roethlisberger and TWO defenses. We don't know if the Bears or Eagles are better but taking them both solves that problem. Go Beagles!

Another Bad Creation went kicker very early, taking David Akers with the last pick in the second round. The earliest kicker selection in the past five years was 2007, when Matt Stover went off the board at 3.7. Does Oliver know something we don't? Perhaps. I mean, Akers did have a record breaking year last season, and he's finished in the top two in kicker points four years in a row. Of course, none of the last seventeen kickers to have scored 140+ points went over 140 again the following season so we'll see about this high priced kicker.

Best pick: Reggie Wayne, Italian Stallionz (2.4)
Most obscure: Kyle Rudolph, Detroit Players (2.5)

Round Three
A couple of teams haven't even gotten a pick yet. Wayne State Tartars entered the fray with Jonathan Stewart at 3.3 while Hungry Hungry Ouroboros selected Rashad Jennings at 3.15. Both are running backs stuck behind other running backs but they have some value, especially if an injury occurs. In fact, this round had a lot of backup RBs as Toby Gerhart, Jacquizz Rogers, and Evan Royster also went off the board. Any of those three could emerge as a quality starter by mid-season. We're curious if Royster or Roy Helu will emerge in Washington, or if both will split the carries and negate each other's value. Plus they have to fend off Tim Hightower.

I feel like P Funk All Stars got so many picks this draft. At 3.1 and 3.13, they took Brian Quick and Michael Floyd. Paolo only needs one of them to show signs of breaking out. Our bet is on Floyd. 100 Acre Pooh Bears also got two receivers this round, Lance Moore and Brandon LaFell. LaFell could be better after a semi-disappointing rookie year and Lance Moore is good for at least a few starts each season. With Dez Bryant ailing, Moore especially could be pressed into duty for J early on.

Dunder Mifflin should get a refund on pick 3.12, Austin Collie. After yet another concussion, he needs to retire like yesterday. Seriously bro, you got a lot of life left to live. You're a possession receiver, you're always gonna get hit. You need to stop the madness. Who's against giving Mike a re-do on this pick? If you are, you have no heart. Just like Collie will soon have no brains...

Five picks were selected using auto-draft this round. Stewart, Gerhart, Stephen Gostkowski, Alshon Jeffrey, and Giants defense. Okay more likely this was ranked but let it be noted that round three is when owners feel like it's safe to turn on auto. Unless that Another Bad Creation pick of David Akers was selected by the computer last round, which would explain a lot.

Best pick: Jonathan Stewart, Wayne State Tartars (3.3)
Most obscure: Alshon Jeffrey, Team Cameltoe (3.9)

Round Four
Here we go, the upside rookies are gone and it's veterans who lack upside or bargains who might break out now that they've had some seasoning. In the former category is Alex Smith, Carson Palmer, Randy Moss, Santonio Holmes, Santana Moss. You know what you're getting here. A little bit of production and a lot of over the hill. Holmes is technically not old but most of us agree that better days are not ahead for him in that Jets' offense led by Sanchatebow. And if anyone is drinking that Randy Moss Kool Aid, I'm gonna go ahead and say that he's done considering Smith can't throw the deep ball to him.

Tight ends Brent Celek (Bamfers) and Owen Daniels (Warriors) were both once highly touted but probably will never become stars. That's okay though as they will fall in the middle of the pack for TEs -- plus Daniels will play behind Gronk for the Warriors. In this round we also have Packers defense and Seahawks defense becoming the fifth and sixth defenses selected (but only fifth team because of Warriors' double defenses earlier). That should take care of the elite ones.

Now for our reclamation projects and bargains with upside category: Randall Cobb, Danny Amendola, Davone Bess, Michael Bush, Daniel Thomas. All these guys have shown flashes or at least has an opportunity for quality work this season. Bush is the only one who has proven to be fantasy relevant but for now he'll be a valuable backup in Chicago. Daniel Thomas was literally the worst last season but he presents decent value after being drafted ultra-high last season.

Mandalorian Warriors had a whopping four picks this round: Randy Moss, Santonio Holmes, Isaiah Pead, and Owen Daniels. He's reassembled Holmes and Daniels from last year and secured Steven Jackson's backup in Pead. We call this incredible 2012 draft by Matt the "double bag strategy." Make sure you got a backup plan for any emergency and then be extra safe on top of that. I don't know about you, but I like this safety first method.

Best pick: Michael Bush, Human Amoebas (4.10)
Most obscure: Seahawks defense, Pooh Bears (4.16) I know the Seahawks have a defense, but I had no idea they were good! Oh wait, are they? Is Cortez Kennedy back or something?

Round Five
Okay, this is where I pretty much broke Google looking up these players: Dion Lewis, Rueben Randle, Josh Gordon, Robert Turbin, Mike Goodson. For real, my magazine didn't even list those guys except on the depth chart. And only Goodson had a mini-blurb. I'll save you some time and just tell you what I learned.

RB Dion Lewis could be the backup to LeSean McCoy for his second season, nice safety valve. Giants rookie Reuben Randle could soon be a famous sandwich at Katz's Deli if he plays well. Fellow rookie WR Josh Gordon got picked up in the supplemental draft and the Browns must really love him because they gave up a 2013 RD1. RB Robert Turbin could start for Marshawn Lynch early as Lynch serves a possible suspension. We think he'll be good for no reason at all because "Turbin" is a good fantasy name. Okay, that's not true. Like at all. It's a horrible football name! Fourth year RB Mike Goodson was stuck behind DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart in Carolina and could be the primary backup for Darren McFadden -- aka the starter for at least six games -- if he can beat out Taiwan Jones.

Speaking of Mr. Jones. Nobody touch him. Seriously. Don't draft him unless you were also, like me, born in the Republic of China and then emigrated here. Actually, this should be a house rule. If a player is named after the country/region you're from, you get him automatically. For example, I would get Taiwan Jones and Reno would get Cebu Jones. And Porta would get Italy Jones. And the rest of you could flip for America Jones or Michigan Jones -- or wherever you're from. You with me?

The rest of this round also featured low/no upside running backs like Tim Hightower, LeGarrette Blount, and then fliers on Matt Flynn, Matt Cassell, and Ryan Tannehill. Our "highly optimistic but could work out" player of the round is Kendall Hunter by Pogiboys, who will have to fight hard to get some carries behind Frank Gore. Maybe he'll do it if someone shackles Gore, Brandon Jacobs, and rookie LaMichael James but it's unlikely. Still, we like owners who dream big.

Best pick: Taiwan Jones, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (upcoming)
Most obscure: Robert Turbin, Pooh Bears (5.14)

Alright, we have to stop at round five because I don't know most of these players anymore. And there's only so much I can say about kickers, defenses, and random players' little CBS blurbs I click on. We got five more rounds to go and then the 2012 season will be ready for kickoff. Who's excited?!

Also, who else loves this elapsed time counter on the draft page? It allows us to do in-depth analysis like this:

Putting a lot of thought into it
9 hrs 18 min 48 sec - Italian Stallionz select Lions defense (5.4)
8 hrs 28 min 37 sec - Dunder Mifflin select Matt Cassel (5.12)
7 hrs 52 min 24 sec - Rhythm Drive select Matt Flynn (5.11)
7 hrs 35 min 48 sec - Detroit Players select Packers defense (4.5)
6 hrs 46 min 32 sec - Rhythm Drive select Donald Brown (2.11)

Quick draw award
29 sec - Dunder Mifflin select Malcolm Floyd (1.12)

Early Round Wheeling and Dealing

As I looked over the upcoming draft, it was hard to ignore that eleven of the picks from the first round, and six out of sixteen from the second were moved in previous trades. That's a lot of movement. Coming from my keeper league, where draft picks are rarely used as currency, I was interested in what all this wheeling and dealing resulted in. So here we go, a look at all the draft day trades involving first and second round picks from the last three years (2009-2011).

Some of these trades haven't fully vested of course, but we can still get a pretty good idea of what's happened with these moves completed. Here's a look at some of the interesting ones.

2009 #71: Marques Colston for DeSean Jackson, Brady Quinn, Percy Harvin (2009 1.9), Owen Daniels (2009 1.15), Cadillac Williams (2010 1.12): That's quite a haul for just one player. Colston was coming off of an injury wrecked year and would go on to produce 1,000+ receiving yards and 9 TDs. Not bad but DeSean Jackson exploded for 1,150+ and 9 TDs himself in his sophomore year while Percy Harvin also got into the action with about 800 yards and 6 TDs. The lesson here could be don't send the farm for a non-franchise player?

2010 84: Adrian Peterson for Clinton Portis, Joseph Addai, Eddie Royal, Malcolm Floyd (1.11), Roy Helu (1.14): Even though Peterson busted his ACL, this trade is still a big win for the owner who received All Day. Portis, Addai, and Royal weren't as good as advertised. Oh but wait, Helu was flipped for Steven Jackson and Michael Crabtree. Did that even things out a bit? Crabtree was in his sophomore year and racked up 741 yards and 6 TDs in 2010. Underwhelming. Jackson was nice but he was clearly no Peterson. Basically it was Jackson and the pupu platter for the best running back in the land.

2009 85: LeSean McCoy (2009 1.7) for Darren Sproles (2009 1.8) and 2012 2.9: This 2012 RD2 pick could make up a lot of ground for this trade. Sure Sproles has become an asset recently but there's no arguing that LeSean McCoy is far and away the better fantasy player moving forward, even after notching only less than 200 yards combined his rookie year.

2011 87: Mike Sims-Walker (1.8) for Hakeem Nicks (1.12): Considering Sims-Walker could be out of the league after he caught twelve balls total last year, this was hugely lopsided. Nicks was dinged up but still managed 1,192 yards and 7 TDs in 2011.

2010 86: Darren Sproles (1.8) for Santana Moss (1.13), Eddie Royal (2.16): At the time, this was a wash, as Sproles was still mired in San Diego and putting up less than 800 yards combined. Royal was considered up and coming and went on to post 600+ yards and 3 TDs before fading. Moss had a great 2010 season, posting 1,115 yards with 6 TDs. However, Sproles then turned the tables one year later, becoming a yardage monster for New Orleans. He outproduced both Moss and Royal in receiving yards just on his lonesome in 2011.

2009 90: Tim Hightower (2009 2.15) and Brett Favre (2009 3.6) for Bernard Scott (2009 2.6): This was the year Favre went off for 4,200+ yards and 33 TDs. We'll go ahead and say that Bernard Scott probably didn't put up numbers like that. Also, who is Bernard Scott?!

2010 103: Ryan Mathews (1.2) for Sam Bradford (1.4), Lee Evans (2.13), Robert Meachem (3.13): It took awhile for Mathews to find his footing but nobody can argue that this trade isn't completely lopsided two years later. Bradford looked like a franchise caliber QB his rookie year but now it's Mathews who has taken the fantasy lead. Possibly forever.

2010 107: Michael Bush for Laurent Robinson (3.10): Bush wasn't fed a lot of carries yet but he still churned up 655 yards on the ground and added 194 through the air. Plus he added eight touchdowns. Mr. Robinson had a disastrous time with the Rams, putting up 300+ yards and 2 TDs. Both players performed better in 2011 but Bush still maintained his value by going over 1,300 combined yards and dropping in the same number of touchdowns. Robinson had almost 900 yards for Dallas and an impressive 11 TDs. Now he's in Jacksonville however. We're guessing he didn't sit on the roster of the owner who initially traded for him very long.

2010 108: CJ Spiller (1.5) and 2012 RD1 (1.6) for Beanie Wells: Spiller hasn't even done much as a player yet but him plus a first rounder for Beanie Wells seems wonderful in retrospect. Someone really believed in injury prone Beanie when they trade two firsts for him. Ouch.

2011 122: Larry Fitzgerald and Kendall Hunter (5.6) for Marcedes Lewis (1.11) and 2013 RD3 (3.?): I don't even know what's going on here. Short of that 2013 RD3 pick becoming Tom Brady, Marcedes Lewis for Larry Fitzgerald seems like it should have been outlawed! We're thinking that was a future first traded for the chance of winning the lottery. Or maybe someone just really loved Marcedes Lewis?

2011 125: Ben Roethlisberger, LaDanian Tomlinson, Mike Wallace for Joe Flacco, James Starks, Austin Collie, Knowshon Moreno (1.6), Joseph Addai (2.2), 2012 RD1 (1.13), 2013 RD1 (1.?): This one is very interesting. Mike Wallace should swing this trade heavily toward the first team's favor, even with Tomlinson ending up nigh useless and Big Ben having an off year. However, even though Flacco, Starks, Collie, Moreno, and Addai were near worthless, there are two first round picks still coming to maybe even this trade out. Draft well whoever owns those selections!

2011 126: Steven Jackson and Michael Crabtree for Roy Helu (1.14): A secondary flip in the aforementioned Adrian Peterson trade. We'll go with the Jackson and Crabtree side, even though Helu has some promise. And considering Helu netted two RD2 picks this off-season, the trade may have already paid off for his past owner.

2011 127: LeSean McCoy for Tim Tebow, Julio Jones (1.2), Daniel Thomas (1.4), 2012 RD1 (1.10): The toughest trade to evaluate. Would you rather have one of the best RBs in fantasy or Tebow's magical run last year, plus a very promising WR prospect, and another RD1 pick? Heck, even Daniel Thomas could work out here. This seemed like a huge "now versus later" gamble and it's still hard to gauge. We'll give the edge to the McCoy side but Jones, Thomas, and that RD1 could eventually make a difference.

Out of thirty four trades, I could only find about a half dozen that resulted in lopsided deals. And some of those couldn't even be called outright wins or losses. What was interesting to me was that there were a few defenses selected with those second rounders. If I said pre-draft that I'd give you a defense for a player, you'd laugh your ass right off! Yet when the draft clock starts ticking, the top defenses sometimes look mighty tempting.

While no conclusive evidence can be made at looking at these first and second round moves, the most important rule is always: draft like your life depends on it. Because it does!