2018 Keepers

2015 Keeper Analysis: Western Conference

We took a look at the Eastern Conference keepers the other day, so here's the rest.

The Moose Knuckle (Hoke-A-Mania)
MoRRie’s Pogiboys -1(14): Tom Brady (2) Eddie Lacy (3) Devonta Freeman (1) Denard Robinson (1) Calvin Johnson (3) Travis Kelce (2)
Team Cameltoe -1(12): Russell Wilson (2) Doug Martin (2) Lorenzo Taliaferro (1) Julio Jones (3) Jordy Nelson (3) Jordan Matthews (1)
Hungry Hungry Ouroboros -2(9): Matt Ryan (3) Giovani Bernard (1) Joseph Randle (1) Eric Decker (1) Torrey Smith (1) Martellus Bryant (2)
Ann Arbor Bamfers -2(8): Colin Kaepernick (1) Frank Gore (2) CJ Spiller (1) Golden Tate (2) Kendall Wright (1) Delanie Walker (1)

In a division where everyone’s keeper cores went downhill (and nobody finished with a winning record last season), MoRRie’s Pogiboys again have the best six guys. They have the pretty good on paper trio of Tom Brady, Eddie Lacy, and Calvin Johnson as carryovers, but the rest of the roster is purely speculative. Trent Richardson was a disaster last year, as was Percy Harvin. Michael Crabtree was okay but definitely couldn’t return to his pre-injury numbers. Now those three guys have been replaced by Devonta Freeman, Denard Robinson, and Travis Kelce, who all have flashed some talent, but are far from proven. There was talk pre-draft that Alvin was looking to ship off Megatron in an effort to rebuild, but a division title could always be around in the corner in this sorry division.

Last year’s winner, Team Cameltoe, got the honor of renaming the division, and grabbed an upset playoff victory to boot. The huge trades from 2013 that Felipe boldly undertook is still under evaluation but it has already resulted in losing 2014’s #1 overall selection. The good news is that Russell Wilson has a pair of superior targets to throw to: Julio Jones and Jordy Nelson. The run game “features” Doug Martin but that’s not saying a lot. Can new keepers Lorenzo Taliaferro and Jordan Matthews help keep Cameltoe on top? It’ll be tough with Jordy Nelson recently declared out for the season with a torn ACL but this is The Moose Knuckle so anything could happen, even a division winner with a losing record!

There aren’t a lot of worse keeper cores than what Hungry Hungry Ouroboros are rolling out this off-season. Matt Ryan is a steady presence at quarterback but last year’s trade for pre-suspension Ray Rice was a disaster. Giovani Bernard has been supplanted by Jeremy Hill in Cincinnati and although a starting spot has opened up for new keeper Joseph Randle, he’s not exactly a franchise runner. And the receiving corps were in shambles too, as Victor Cruz was injured most of the season, along with Dennis Pitta. Two pre-draft trades brought in Torrey Smith and Martellus Bennett to slot in next to holdover Eric Decker (kept instead of Victor Cruz), but all three are at best average. Looks like Ouroboros’s losing ways will continue this season, and beyond…

Speaking of shoddy keeper cores, Ann Arbor Bamfers are straight awful. With two very high 2015 first round picks, GM Randy better hit some home runs. The two keeper QB conundrum from last year has been solved, as Colin Kaepernick is now slotted in as the leader of this team — over Nick Foles, a toss up decision really — but he won’t have much to work with. There’s a chance Frank Gore still has some gas left in the tank, and Golden Tate broke out last year in Calvin Johnson’s absence, but it’s tough to sell season ticket holders on CJ Spiller, Kendall Wright, and Delanie Walker. Ann Arbor Bamfers need an infusion of young talent, asap!

Knights Who Say Ni
Another Bad Creation -2(13): Aaron Rodgers (3) Marshawn Lynch (3) LeSean McCoy (2) Joique Bell (1)  Andre Johnson (2) Vincent Jackson (2)
Jedi Knights -1(12): Peyton Manning (3) Alfred Morris (2) Emmanuel Sanders (2) TY Hilton (2) Marques Colston (1) Greg Olsen (2)
Original Salt +0(10): Ben Roethlisberger (3) Matt Forte (2) Roddy White (2) Doug Baldwin (1) Jordan Cameron (2) Ravens Def (0)
P Funk All Stars +0(8): Joe Flacco (1) Derek Carr (1) Ryan Mathews (1) DeSean Jackson (2) Michael Floyd (2) Eric Ebron (1)

Another Bad Creation suffered an embarrassing first round upset last season but they are still strong contenders even despite their setback. The trade for LeSean McCoy during the great Mandalorian Warriors firesale of Oct 2014 could pay off this season, and that would give Marshawn Lynch a great running mate — unless Joique Bell can finally stay healthy. Aaron Rodgers will challenge for the best fantasy player inn the land and he’ll have aging Andre Johnson and Vincent Jackson to throw to. Overall, Oliver’s squad is almost certainly headed into the post-season, its just a matter of what his team can do once they get there.

And if we’re gonna talk about upsets that sting, how about last year’s 12-1 team, Jedi Knights, that romped through the regular season — starting 2014 on a nine game win streak — before getting upended by eventual champion Original Salt?! Chris will be looking for revenge this season and will ride Peyton Manning as far as he can go in his twilight years. Last season’s first round pick, TY Hilton, was a steal, and Emmanuel Sanders replaced Wes Welker on the Jedis and the Broncos. Both are borderline fantasy stars and Sanders’ value should increase with our new PPR rules. The corpse of Marques Colston is still around, and Greg Olsen replaces Jason Witten at tight end. The lone holdover RB, Alfred Morris, is steady but not spectacular, but that should be enough to get Jedi back into contention.

You just don’t expect a team that ends the season on a 0-5 slide to squeak into the playoffs and then pull off the greatest post-season upsets in Maize and Blue history. BUT THAT’S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAME! We don’t need to recap Original Salt’s run to the title, but it was spectacular. (Frankly, I might have considered retirement from fantasy after a run like that.) Ben Roethlisberger led the NFL in passing yards last season and he’ll lead this veteran team in its back-to-back title defense. Matt Forte is still a top back, if not exactly elite, and Roddy White, Doug Baldin, and Jordan Cameron all return with shiny championship rings on their hands. Ravens DST is the sixth keeper here, a strange decision. Sure, they were a top defense last season but we just can’t get behind keeping defenses. Wouldn’t taking a flier on just about anyone on the roster be worth it? Then again, who are we to question the defending champs? Nobody, that’s who! Let’s see if Reno can continue his magical run. Last thing: We feel like Reno should make a division name change, I mean, he should just call it “Reno Reno Reno” or something after his jaw dropping title run.

After challenging for a division title in 2013, the bottom dropped out for P Funk All Stars as they found themselves with only two wins last season. Joe Flacco is back for another go-around, this time joined by Derek Carr on the keeper list. (It’s always a winning solution to bring in two sub-20 ranked QBs in a sixteen team keeper, right?) There’s not a single star player on this roster, unless you want to count on Michael Floyd smoothly taking over for Larry Fitzgerald in Arizona. DeSean Jackson is still a nice deep threat but he’s boom-bust as always. The light has gone out on the Ryan Mathews train, and TE Eric Ebron has the skills but not the track record. Overall, P Funk faces a long climb back to respectively. Then again, they surprised us two years with a keeper roster far worse than this, so anything could happen.

Top Five Keeper Cores

1. *Fockers (15): We’ve seen keeper cores with 17 scores before, but *Fockers score out at the top this year with a mere fifteen. Mortagaging the future enabled them to add a third gold caliber player in Dez Bryant and this team is ready to win now.
2. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (14): It’s a shame Tom Brady could miss four games, otherwise this could be the top team in the league with Eddie Lacy, Calvin Johnson and some promising side parts.
3. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (14): Last year’s #1 overall, Brandin Cooks, will get his chance to shine but most of this grade is out of respect to Jimmy Graham, but if he slips even a little, Pooh Bears rank slightly lower.
4. Detroit Players (13): The only team without a QB on its keeper roster, Players have an outstanding collection of running backs, as well as AJ Green and breakout candidates in sophomore WRs Martavis Bryant and Jarvis Landry
5. Another Bad Creation (13): Aaron Rodgers and Marshawn Lynch are both studs, and everyone else here is above average serviceable. That’s enough to get a top five keeper ranking.

2015 Keeper Analysis: Eastern Conference

Alright, as we embark on yet another exciting season of Maize and Blue, we have a new set of keepers, as well as new rules that maybe affected a few keeper decisions? Let's take a look! And as always, we sort out the keepers into gold/silver/bronze status and here's the keeper spreadsheet. [2014 East | West]

The Wood
*Fockers +2(15): Andrew Luck (3) Le’Veon Bell (3) LeGarrette Blount (2) Demaryius Thomas (3) Dez Bryant (3) Davante Adams (1)
100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears -2(14): Cam Newton (2) Carlos Hyde (2) Antonio Brown (3) Mike Evans (2) Brandin Cooks (1) Jimmy Graham (3)
Italian Stallionz +1(12): Matthew Stafford (2) Jamaal Charles (3) Andre Ellington (2) DeAndre Hopkins (2) Brandon Marshall (2) Mike Wallace (1)
Squirtle Squad -2(12): Ryan Tannehill (1) Adrian Peterson (3) Justin Forsett (2) Randall Cobb (3) Keenan Allen (2) Allen Robinson (1)

It’s been all uphill since Hong took over the reins from Eric and went from the Human Amoebas to *Fockers. After two seasons of steady contention, and a Super Bowl showing last year, GM Hong pushed all his chips into the middle of the table in an effort to take that final step toward a title. On paper, this team is the early favorite. Andrew Luck and Le’Veon Bell are (not very arguably) the best options at their position. Heading into the keeper declaration, Hong was facing a slight dip in talent — Montee Ball was a slated keeper — but he pulled off a blockbuster at the last minute, acquiring Dez Bryant and Davante Adams from 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears. Adding Bryant and Adams to Demaryius Thomas makes this the best receiving corps in the league. Who else has two top five WRs on their team? Nobody!? If RB#2 LeGarrette Blount can stay healthy, he’ll pound in touchdowns for the Patriots and help lead *Fockers on their “win now” path.

Our champ from two years ago had an incredible keeper core heading into 2014 but couldn’t defend their title. Instead of pushing hard for another championship, Jose seems to have decided to restock for the future. They still have Antonio Brown as an all-world receiver but Dez Bryant has been shipped out (for an enormous future haul) and he’ll be flanked by last year’s #1 overall pick, Brandin Cooks, as well as last year’s rookie TD machine, Mike Evans. Carlos Hyde will get a starting job this year, replacing Shane Vareen as a keeper, and of course Cam Newton and Jimmy Graham are still around. The big question is if Graham can maintain his elite TE status with the Seahawks. Either way, Pooh Bears are still a talented team and will fight in the toughest division in the land.

If you’ve been watching Hard Knocks, you’re probably convinced that DeAndre Hopkins is going to be a franchise caliber receiver. He looks amazing, doesn’t he? And what style too! The Italian Stallionz sure hope Hopkins is ready to dominate, and despite a down season from Matthew Stafford, the addition of Brandon Marshall should give Stafford a new target, alongside deep threat Mike Wallace. Jamaal Charles is a contender for the best RB around, and maybe the Andre Ellington hype train hasn’t fully left the station, but was just delayed a bit. Does Porta's team have enough to build on last year's 8-5 record?

Squirtle Squad went 4-9 last year and know they have an uphill battle to climb back into the post-season. Out goes Zac Stacy, Josh Gordon, and Julius Thomas. In comes Ryan Tannehill, Justin Forsett, and Allen Robinson. Robinson basically had a lost rookie season but he showed flashes of being very good. And while Forsett had a surprise breakout year, it’ll be a relief for Brian to have Adrian Peterson back on the field following his suspension. Morals, schmorals, show me the touchdowns AP! Plus, Cobb is going to catch 200+ balls now that Jordy Nelson is out for the year, perfect for our new 0.5PPR rules!

Sum Dum Goy (Lebowski Achievers)
Detroit Players +2(13): DeMarco Murray (3) Jeremy Hill (2) Mark Ingram (2) AJ Green (3) Martavis Bryant (2) Jarvis Landry (1)
Sweep the Leg Zabka +3(13): Eli Manning (2) Latavius Murray (1) Odell Beckham Jr (3) Sammy Watkins (2) Kelvin Benjamin (2) Rob Gronkowski (3)
Mandalorian Warriors -4(11): Drew Brees (3) CJ Anderson (3) Ray Rice (0) Larry Fitzgerald (2) Julian Edelman (2) Dwayne Allen (1)
Shoguns of Harlem -3(10): Tony Romo (2) Arian Foster (2) Alshon Jeffery (3) Jeremy Maclin (2) Tyler Eifert (1) Texans Def (0)

What is this madness! Detroit Players have the best keeper core in the division AND they are adding the #1 overall pick in this draft?! Ariel’s team went 6-5-2 last year but missed the playoffs despite a lot of great breaks for them. DeMarco Murray has a monster season, Jeremy Hill and Mark Ingram were both wonderful, and even though AJ Green was dinged up, he should be back to elite form again. Plus, Detroit Players added young WRs Martavis Bryant and Jarvis Landry to the mix, repalcing Zach Ertz and Kyle Rudolph. With a deep RB and WR core, the only question is which QB will be tapped to carry this team now that Robert Griffin III is on the outs.

In his rookie year as owner, Alan piloted Sweep the Leg Zabka to a 8-5 record and a playoff showing. Very impressive! Plus, Alan transformed a roster that was mostly old and boring to one that is full of promise and excitement. He hit huge on a trio of rookie receivers: Odell Beckham Jr, Sammy Watkins, and Kelvin Benjamin. (Sure, Benjamin is out now but he’s still a great keeper.) And Beckham and Watkins should be stars for years to come. Latavius Murray is unproven but he’s more exciting the all three backs Alan had kept last season: Maurice Jones-Drew, Knowshon Moreno, Rashad Jennings -- the latter two via pre-2014 draft trade. Eli Manning replaces Andy Dalton at the helm and we’re predicting another great year for Sweep the Leg Zabka. No beginner’s luck here!

Remember when Mandalorian Warriors were the most feared team in the league? They had the best keepers, an endless future, and a title to boot. Now, the mighty Warriors have dropped to Earth. And the ride has not been smooth. If you had told me Warriors would go 5-8 two years after their title, I would have spit in your face! GM Matt realized his team was no good and launched into a full rebuild last October, shipping out LeSean McCoy, Brandon Marshall, Greg Olson, Chris Ivory, and Seahawks DST all in one week. So it’s no surprise that their keeper core is quite diminished, wit the likes of Dwayne Allen now on the keeper roster. Still, Broncos RB CJ Anderson was a find last season, and Larry Fitzgerald and Julian Edelman are reliable pass catchers. Drew Brees can still be a force and it’ll be interesting to see if he’ll be around to enjoy the benefits of the rebuild. And how about Matt keeping Ray Rice, who is currently still out of the NFL… Bold move!

Last year's division winner from the former Lebowski Achievers is ranked at the bottom of keeper talent rankings? What gives! Is this just disrespect? To that we say, “sum dum goy!” Mike’s team will still feature the threesome of Tony Romo, Arian Foster, and Alshon Jeffery but Ben Tate, Chris Johnson, and Vernon Davis are out. Tyler Eifert and um, Texans DST are in! (I have to give big fat zeros to any DST that’s kept, sorry, personal policy.) Jeremy Maclin came back strong from his injury last season to post a career season and maybe he can put up another nice showing with the Chiefs. However, with Foster sidelined for possibly the first eight weeks, it’ll take a Herculean effort for these Shoguns to repeat as division champs. Then again, sum dum goy!

2014 Keeper Analysis: Western Conference

Here we are, with another edition of “rank the keepers!” As always, we separate out keepers into gold/silver/bronze status and as you’ll see, we’ve got quite a few team ranking changes in there, and lots of new faces. The keeper spreadsheet reveals all and here are the 2013 West and East grades.

Knights Who Say Ni
Another Bad Creation +2(15): Aaron Rodgers (3) Marshawn Lynch (3) Reggie Bush (2) Joique Bell (1) Andre Johnson (3) Vincent Jackson (3)
Jedi Knights -1(13): Peyton Manning (3) Alfred Morris (2) Wes Welker (2 Marques Colston (2) Emmanuel Sanders (2) Jason Witten (2)
Original Salt +1(10): Matt Forte (3) Steven Jackson (1) Bernard Pierce (1) Roddy White (2) Jordan Cameron (2) Terrance Williams (1)
P Funk All Stars +3(8): Joe Flacco (1) Ryan Mathews (2) DeSean Jackson (2) Michael Floyd (2) Tavon Austin (1) Bengals (0)


Another Bad Creation went 5-8 last season but had a great keeper core. This year, they return with an even stronger group, at least on paper. Aaron Rodgers and Marshawn Lynch are franchise players at their respective positions, and Andre Johnson and Vincent Jackson are old but still very productive. Both of them could be headed for greener pastures soon, but their performance still gets them to near the top ten at receiver. The only question here is if Joique Bell might supplant Reggie Bush sometime in the Lions’ backfield, but it seems like a straight time share. Rodgers must stay healthy this year though, to give Oliver a shot at the division -- and the Super Bowl, which ABC was at two years ago.

Jedi Knights have been tops here in the recent past and even though they lost a point in the rankings, Peyton Manning can carry this team far. The only new face is Emmanuel Sanders, taking over for Steve Smith, and he should be a decent starter. Despite only one gold caliber player on this core, that one franchise player can throw up 40+ points a week! This veteran heavy group is built to win now and is a solid all-around.

For awhile last year, it looked like Jordan Cameron was going to become a franchise caliber tight end. He cooled off dramatically, but he gives Original Salt (formerly Rhythm Drive) a top option at a position of need. This team is built around Matt Forte the hopeful return of Roddy White. Steven Jackson and Bernard Pierce are mediocre RB options, but hopes are high for new keeper Terrance Williams. We love the move Reno pulled off in deciding to kick Philip Rivers to the curb, even after a great season, realizing that only he was only one of two teams that wasn’t already keeping a quarterback. He'll have his choice of the non-keepers and an extra slot for a position player!

P Funk All Stars surprised all the pundits by throwing up a 8-5 season and making the playoffs. This after we mocked them for keeping two mediocre quarterbacks as their keepers. This year, they dumped Sam Bradford but kept Joe Flacco, still a borderline fantasy starter. And then there’s potential rookie bust Tavon Austin, who only had three double digit scoring games last season. Oh right, and Paolo kept Bengals defense, a very strange move (last year he kept 49ers). The good news is that Ryan Mathews, new trade acquisition DeSean Jackson, and the emerging Michael Floyd are all nice pieces. Can P Funk keep winning despite a keeper core that consistently scores increduously low?

Hoke-A-Mania
MoRRie’s Pogiboys +5(15): Tom Brady (2) Eddie Lacy (3) Trent Richardson (0) Calvin Johnson (3) Michael Crabtree (2) Percy Harvin (2)
Team Cameltoe +3(13): Russell Wilson (2) Doug Martin (2) Julio Jones (3) Jordy Nelson (3) Riley Cooper (1) Jordan Reed (2)
Hungry Ourorboros +0(11): Matt Ryan (2) Ray Rice 2 Giovani Bernard (2) Victor Cruz (2) Eric Decker (1) Dennis Pitta (2)
Ann Arbor Bamfers -2(10): Colin Kaepernick (2) Nick Foles (2) Frank Gore (2) CJ Spiller (2) Fred Jackson (1) Kendall Wright (2)

It’s hard for a keeper player to earn a zero score. We gave one out to Bengals defense on principle, as no defenses should ever be kept. Kickers would get a zero too. The only position players to receive a zero last year were Willis McGahee, who didn’t have a NFL team at the time, and Michael Crabtree, who was effectively out for the season. So here comes Trent Richardson, Mr. Dud, who we think deserves a zero until he proves otherwise. Even with that fat zero, Pogiboys is stacked and looking to avenge a Super Bowl loss. The trade for Tom Brady gave them a borderline franchise QB. Rookie Eddie Lacy -- the only lasting haul from Pogiboys' three top ten picks last season -- emerged as a borderline franchise piece, and of course there’s still Calvin Johnson, the best WR in the game. If Crabtree and Percy Harvin can manage to stay even semi-healthy, this keeper core is one of the best in the league. Even with Trent Zero Richardson.

After last season’s epic off-season rebuild, Cameltoe was still looking a little shaky and they went 2-11 to add insult to injury. As it turned out, Daryl Richardson was a bust, Bears defense wasn’t even kept, but at least Jordy Nelson returned from injury to become gold status. This year, Felipe worked the trade market again and landed Doug Martin and Jordan Reed. Of course, they could have had this year’s #1 overall selection if they hadn’t moved a boatload of picks for Russell Wilson, who is grading out to likely be a middle of the road QB option. Still, we love Cameltoe’s aggressiveness, and we hope the fantasy gods reward this team in the future. As it stands, their keeper core is a vast improvement over two years ago.

Hungry Ouroboros entered Maize and Blue after inheriting a championship team starring Drew Brees, but quickly blew that squad up. Two years later, they are still trying to find that elusive core that will enable them to return to the playoffs. Rookie find Giovani Bernard is looking promising, and the trade for Ray Rice should give this team an upgrade from their former top back, Darren Sproles. Victor Cruz is looking for a bounce back year, while Eric Decker will likely suffer greatly away from Peyton. Jon waited on the injured Dennis Pitta all last year, and he’ll replace Antonio Gates as the TE keeper. Matt Ryan is what he is, and this team is sorely lacking a franchise caliber talent.

Having two keeper slots dedicated to QBs has to hurt doesn’t it? Last year, Bamfers kept Eli Manning and Colin Kaepernick, and this year they’ll replace Eli with Nick Foles. We’re not saying Foles isn’t good, but it probably behooves Randy to start looking for trade partners soon, as both quarterbacks are ranked about the same. Frank Gore continues to make his mark, but C.J. Spiller tanked hard last year. Fred Jackson is around, but once again, four keeper slots dedicated for two overlapping positions probably isn’t efficient. Then again, what do we know, Ann Arbor Bamfers snuck into the playoffs last year (albeit on a 6-7 record). New keeper Kendall Wright doesn’t score touchdowns but had 90+ receptions and he’ll likely be much more valuable once our new PPR rules kick in. The Bamfers had the best keeper core in Hoke-A-Mania at the beginning of last season, but now they’re last… How fast things change!

2014 Keeper Analysis: Eastern Conference

Part two of our keeper analysis. The Western Conference review is here.

Lebowski Achievers
Mandalorian Warriors -2(15): Drew Brees (3) LeSean McCoy (3) Brandon Marshall (3) Larry Fitzgerald (2) Julian Edelman (2) Greg Olsen (2)
Shoguns of Harlem +0(13): Tony Romo (2)  Arian Foster (2) Chris Johnson (1) Ben Tate (2)Alshon Jeffery (3) Vernon Davis (3)
Detroit Players -1(11): Robert Griffin III (2)  DeMarco Murray (2) Mark Ingram (1) AJ Green 3) Zach Ertz (1) Kyle Rudolph (2)
Sweep The Leg Zabka +1(10): Andy Dalton (1) Maurice Jones-Drew (1) Knowshon Moreno (2) Rashad Jennings (1) Torrey Smith (2) Rob Gronkowski (3)

When you are one point off a perfect keeper core score of 18, it’s hard not to come down to the pack a bit. That’s what’s happened to Mandalorian Warriors, even though they are still very strong on paper. I mean, for one, Warriors traded away Rob Gronkowski, who graded out as a gold player. New TE Greg Olsen isn’t on the Gronk’s level, but he’s far less prone to injury and he’s a nice starter. Drew Brees, LeSean McCoy, and Brandon Marshall are all tops at their positions, and the swap of Roddy White for Larry Fitzgerald isn’t exactly a downgrade. Julian Edelman basically took over everthing Danny Amendola was supposed to provide for New England and he rounds out another strong contender for Matt.

DM Paper Company has been rebranded "Shoguns of Harlem" and Mike is hoping a new name leads to more success after a 4-9 season. The two new faces on the keeper core, Alshon Jeffery and Ben Tate, should revitalize the team. Jeffery is already gold level, and there’s a chance Tate could join him. Vernon Davis is a franchise TE, but Tony Romo, Arian Foster, and Chris Johnson have all seen better days. If these Shoguns want to return to their winning ways -- they were 27-12 in the three years prior to last -- they’ll need the new blood to really step up.

There was a time when Detroit Players ruled this division, and the league. After three losing campaigns, Ariel’s team came back strong last year and got into the post-season. Their keeper core lost a point overall, but that’s mainly due to Robert Griffin’s slight regression. He could just as easily vault back to gold status, but for now, this team relies on A.J. Green’s continued ascendance. DeMarco Murray is quietly a top ten RB, but we have to admit that we’re confused by the keeper selection of Mark Ingram. Last year was a lost season for Kyle Rudolph and Zach Ertz wasn’t as effective as anticipated. However, both have lots of potential and Detroit Players could play both at the same time, taking advantage of our new flex rules for tight ends. For now, it’s the young core of RG3, Green, and Murray that will have to power Players’ re-ascent to the top.

We love how quickly Alan has moved to put his stamp on Sweep The Leg Zabka. We all know a league is more exciting with lots of player movement and Alan has replaced four keepers from last year’s Wayne State Tartars. Three of the new keepers were acquired via trade, and even if Rob Gronkowski can’t always stay healthy, the Gronk brings a chaotic energy to a new franchise looking for an identity. Knowshown Moreno should start again, and maybe Maurice Jones-Drew can bounce back in a big way, or Rashad Jennings will pound his way to the top of the Giants’ depth chart. Nobody is that excited about Andy Dalton but at least he’ll have speedster Torrey Smith to chuck the ball to. Zabka isn’t a contender by any means but they’ve already taken multiple steps in the right direction by being bold and leaping fearlessly into the future.

The Wood
100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears -1(16): Cam Newton (3) Shane Vereen (2) Dez Bryant (3) Antonio Brown (3) Cordarrelle Patterson (2) Jimmy Graham (3)
Squirtle Squad +4(14): Adrian Peterson (3) Zac Stacy (2) Josh Gordon (1) Randall Cobb (3) Keenan Allen (2) Julius Thomas (3)
*Fockers +1(13): Andrew Luck (3) Montee Ball (2) Le'Veon Bell (2) Demaryius Thomas (3) Pierre Garcon (2) Antonio Gates (1
Italian Stallionz -4(11): Matthew Stafford (3 Jamaal Charles (3) Andre Ellington (2) Stevan Ridley (1) Mike Wallace (1) DeAndre Hopkins (1)

Not to be outdone by Mandalorian Warriors, defending champ Pooh Bears also had a near perfect keeper core last year with five gold players. They’ll take a little dip this year, but they still boast the top keeper core heading into 2014. Cam Newton and Jimmy Graham are the cornerstones here, with Dez Bryant being joined by Antonio Brown to form a fantastic foursome. Last year’s backfield of the future didn’t last long, as Ray Rice and Doug Martin quickly lost their gold luster and were traded. So now the RB duties fall to Shane Vereen, who’s more a pass catcher than a runner. Cordarrelle Patterson had a huge last month of last season and could be set to vault into stardom if someone can get him the deep ball. Overall, Pooh Bears have become a bit unbalanced between run-pass, but they’ll have three first rounders in 2014 to rectify that, not to mention the #1 overall pick!

What a difference a superb rookie running back makes! Much like Pogiboys with Eddie Lacy, Squirtle Squad hit jackpot with Zac Stacy and could now have a near franchise back on their hands. In addition, Keenan Allen was the best rookie receiver last year, and Julius Thomas could challenge for top two TE status. Those three are a clear upgrade over last year’s keepers of Ronnie Hillman, Ryan Tannehill, and T.Y. Hilton. Maybe just a little. Add in a top ten receiver in Randall Cobb, plus the freak that is Adrian Peterson, and Brian’s team should be one of the favorites for the title right? Unfortunately, Josh Gordon’s playing status for the year is up in the air. If he plays, he’s a gold player, and Squirtles has the best keepers in the land. But for now, Gordon can only receive a bronze rating, if not an outright zero. Don’t do drugs kids!

Making all the right moves since entering Maize and Blue is co-GM Hong, who has been quietly pulling the strings for *Fockers. So far he’s correctly chosen Andrew Luck over MatthewStafford, moved Stafford for Demaryius Thomas and picks, and then had both his rookie running backs pan out in fine fashion. Bell and Ball aren’t the best backfield in the land, but if they fulfill their potential, they easily could challenge for a top combo. Pierre Garcon is a great WR#2, and his value will increase when his many receptions start scoring points. The only weak link here is new acquisition Antonio Gates, who isn’t long for the NFL world, but Gates is still an upgrade over last year’s disaster at tight end -- a hole that likely kept this team out of the playoffs. This looks like the year that Fockers is poised to challenge the top dogs in this ultra-difficult division.

Italian Stallionz only finished one game under 0.500 but somehow it seems like their team is tailspinning. Last season, Stallionz were the darlings of The Wood, and had an enviable keeper core. Now, they’ve lost Tony Gonzalez to retirement, Reggie Wayne to injury and old age, and are now counting on unproven youngsters like Andre Ellington and DeAndre Hopkins to keep them competitive. Matthew Stafford and Jamaal Charles are gold plated, but there’s literally no good receiving threat on this team, unless you count new acquisition Mike Wallace. Stevan Ridley might cure his fumblitis but it’s more likely he’ll watch from the bench as Ellington (hopefully) explodes into a star. In a division this tough, even a little slip is enough to send you to the bottom.

Top Five Keeper Cores

1. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (16): A slight fall but rose to the top! And soon to add a #1 pick!
2. Mandalorian Warriors (15): This core has descended from Mount Olympus and is now only demi-god status
3. Another Bad Creation (15): If Reggie Bush and Joique Bell were combined into one back, this would be the perfect six
4. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (15): Oh Trent, if only you were good. This keeper core could be easily two points higher.
5. Squirtle Squad (14): Josh Gordon could vault this team to the top, as Squirtles gained huge off last year’s rookie draft

2013 Keeper Analysis: Eastern Conference

Last Friday was an important day as hope floated for every franchise. Everyone declared their keepers for a fresh new season so let's take a look at who's already off the board pre-draft. Note: For this season, I added a +X number in front of the score to indicate if the keeper core improved or declined. And here is the 2012 East and West recaps, along with an explanation of the tried and true gold/silver/bronze ranking system.

Lebowski Achievers
Mandalorian Warriors +2(17): Drew Brees (3) LeSean McCoy (3) Steven Jackson (2) Roddy White (3) Brandon Marshall (3) Rob Gronkowski (3)
Dunder Mifflin Paper Company +0(13): Tony Romo (2) Arian Foster (3) Chris Johnson (2) Dwayne Bowe (2) Vernon Davis (3) Malcolm Floyd (1)
Detroit Players +1(12): Robert Griffin III (3) DeMarco Murray (1) AJ Green (3) Mike Williams (2) Hakeem Nicks (1) Kyle Rudolph (2)
WS Tartars -3(9): Ben Roethlisberger (2) Maurice Jones-Drew (2) Jonathan Stewart (1) Steve Johnson (1) Torrey Smith (2) Brandon Pettigrew (1)

It's gross but the defending champs have actually increased their talent level. By subtracting Jordy Nelson and adding Roddy White, Matt's team jumps up another level. If Steven Jackson becomes a top ten back, Mandalorian Warriors will have gold level players at every position, as Brandon Marshall has (re-)cemented himself as a top tier receiver. The only weakness on this keeper core is how long Gronk stays out. Hopefully forever, if the rest of the league has its way...

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company substitutes Malcolm Floyd in for Arian Foster handcuff Ben Tate. Overall Mike's team retains the same keeper value because while Vernon Davis jumps up a notch with the injuries to many top tight ends, Chris Johnson's days as a franchise caliber player could be over. Then again, with a new offensive coordinator, maybe he can get back on track. If Johnson can rebuild his value, the Paper Company can be true contenders.

Last year at this time, Detroit Players desperately needed a quarterback. After selecting Robert Griffin III with the #4 overall pick, it's safe to say that Ariel's found a good one. That's not the only change to the core group. Steve Smith was traded away to make room for the underrated Mike Williams while Jason Witten was flipped in the same trade, opening up the tight end position for Kyle Rudolph. DeMarco Murray and Hakeem Nicks are still on board too, but both have seen better days. (Oh, and farewell Ryan Williams! You were good for nothing!) We like the moves here, as Ariel clearly has an eye on getting younger while staying competitive.

Every other team in this division increased or stayed steady on the keeper power rankings, save for WS Tartars. That difference can almost directly be attributed to the loss of Roddy White, who was traded to Mandalorian Warriors last season. Ben Roethlisberger inherits the reins from Matt Schaub, and Jonathan Stewart was added to the mix. Overall however, Maurice Jones-Drew, Stevie Johnson, and Brandon Pettigrew all saw their stocks fall last season. To stay competitive in Lebowski Achievers, Jay will have to hope they bounce back -- or rebuild quickly.

The Wood
100 Acre Pooh Bears +2(17): Cam Newton (3) Ray Rice (3) Doug Martin (3) Dez Bryant (3) Antonio Brown (2) Jimmy Graham (3)
Italian Stallionz +3(15): Tom Brady (3) Matt Stafford (2) Jamaal Charles (3) Stevan Ridley (2) Reggie Wayne (2) Tony Gonzalez (2)
Human Amoebas +1(12): Andrew Luck (3) Ahmad Bradshaw (1) DeAngelo Williams (1) Demaryius Thomas (3) Pierre Garcon (2) Cecil Shorts (2)
Squirtle Squad -2(10): Ryan Tannehill (1) Adrian Peterson (3) Ronnie Hillman (1) Reggie Cobb (3) T.Y. Hilton (1) Josh Gordon (1)

The Pooh Bears still rule the 100 Acre Woods -- formerly 7 Championship Drive -- but they had some unexpected competition last year from Italian Stallionz. No problem, as J'as team upgraded by dumping the carcass of Ryan Mathews for Doug Martin, last year's #2 overall pick and rookie sensation. With Dez Bryant elevating himself a level, the Pooh Bears are even better from a 2012 keeper roster that was already one of the best. Who else is scared?

The aforementioned Italian Stallionz also improved themselves a bit, continuing their upward trajectory under new ownership. Jamaal Charles proved that he's a top back one year removed from ACL surgery, and while losing Percy Harvin hurts, the additions of old standby Reggie Wayne and Stevan Ridley are better than last year's keepers of Felix Jones and Kenny Britt. We are a little curious why Tom Brady and Matthew Stafford are both on this roster -- the latter acquired by moving 2012's #5 overall pick, Demaryius Thomas -- but we're guessing a follow up trade fell through somewhere. With a super solid keeper core, the Stallionz will be pushing toward a title this season.

Stepping in to make day-to-day decisions for Eric, the Human Amoebas made a bold move behind new GM Hong. Moving Matt Stafford for Demaryius Thomas results in a huge upgrade as Thomas is a bonafide franchise receiver. Add in the surprising Cecil Shorts and the Amoebas now have quite the improved collection of receivers -- DeSean Jackson and whoever Jon Baldwin is, were jettisoned -- to go along with last year's surprise #3 overall pick Andrew Luck. While Ahmad Bradshaw and DeAngelo Williams both fell from grace last year, there is hope that with two early picks in this year's draft, Human Amoebas can find at least one keeper worthy running back for the future.

This is very interesting. Squirtle Squad was our champion just a few short seasons ago and yet things have fallen completely apart. Five of six keepers are different for Brian this year, as he moves to quickly put a contender together. Out goes Michael Vick, Miles Austin, Brandon Lloyd, Denarius Moore, and Jermichael Finley. Coming in are Ryan Tannehill, Reggie Cobb, T.Y. Hilton, Josh Gordon, and Ronnie Hillman. Cobb and Hilton are up-and-coming receivers, and Gordon could be too. We're not sure Tannehill is a keeper worthy quarterback but he can't be more disappointing than the erratic Vick -- and he was part of last season's trade. With MVP Adrian Peterson on board, the Squirtles have a strong run game, but they would sure love it if Hillman, last year's second round pick, could step up into a playable role.

2013 Keeper Analysis: Western Conference

Part two of our keeper analysis. The Eastern Conference review is here.

Ba-Donka-Donk
Jedi Knights +4(14): Peyton Manning (3) Alfred Morris (2) Wes Welker (2) Marques Colston (2) Steve Smith (2) Jason Witten (3)
Another Bad Creation +0(13): Aaron Rodgers (3) Marshawn Lynch (2) Darren McFadden (2) Reggie Bush (2) Andre Johnson (2) Vincent Jackson (2)
Rhythm Drive -3(9): Philip Rivers (2) Matt Forte (3) Willis McGahee (0) Larry Fitzgerald (3) Greg Jennings (1) Giants (0)
P Funk All Stars +1(5): Joe Flacco (1) Sam Bradford (1) Mark Ingram (1) Justin Blackmon (1) Michael Floyd (1) 49ers (0)

Honestly, who thought Jedi Knights would rise from the depths to win the regular season crown? With a keeper core that featured two quarterbacks and something named Alex Green, Chris' team wasn't looking to trend upward anytime soon. Voila, a short season later, his keeper core ranks out as the best of the West. Peyton Manning re-established himself as a top flight option, a post-2012 draft trade for Alfred Morris paid off in spades, costing only a 2020 third rounder (Yes, you read that correctly, a 2020 draft pick). And a pre-draft trade brought in Steve Smith and Jason Witten, who are both productive veterans. Witten is actually a gold caliber tight end this year, even though he can't score touchdowns.

Oliver's Another Bad Creation isn't far behind Jedi Knights for keeper quality. With Aaron Rodgers at the helm, ABC brings back two productive running backs in Marshawn Lynch and Darren McFadden, and also has a rejuvenated Vincent Jackson to pair with a possibly declining Andre Johnson. New third back Reggie Bush replaces Robert Meachem and will provide nice insurance for when McFadden goes down to injury. In a weak division, this keeper core is plenty to contend for a division title.

Okay we're not sure what happened here but both Rhythm Drive and P Funk All Stars elected to keep defenses. We assume it's because they didn't select any keepers but who's to say. A sign that there's no lights on upstairs is that Rhythm Drive has Willis McGahee on their roster, the same Willis McGahee who currently has no NFL home. What?! The good news is that even with two absolute zero scores for keepers, Reno's team still has Larry Fitzgerald, Matt Forte, and Philip Rivers giving the team some semblance of respectability. Aging Greg Jennings could also be of value, as he's now the top dog in Minnesota. If only that Giants defense had been Santana Moss or Coby Fleener, or even Michael Turner, who has no NFL home either. That would have fit with the McGahee theme at least.

We literally have no idea what is going on in P Funk land. We move that they no longer can have "All-Stars" in their name, unless it's for irony. These All-Stars received a whopping score of four for their keepers last year -- including one each for two mediocre quarterbacks -- and will only improve that number by one this year. The whiff of potential for Justin Blackmon and Michael Floyd are better than last year's keeper gems of James Starks and Montario Hardesty. And I guess replacing Pierre Thomas with 49ers defense is an upgrade. Wait, no, we can't award any keeper medals for a defense. That's just against everything we stand for. P Funk No-Stars, is anyone home?

Voltron
Ann Arbor Bamfers +2(12): Eli Manning (2) Colin Kaepernick (2) CJ Spiller (3) Frank Gore (2) Fred Jackson (1) James Jones (2)
Hungry Hungry Ouroboros +2(12): Matt Ryan (3) Darren Sproles (2) Victor Cruz (3) Mike Wallace (1) Eric Decker (2) Antonio Gates (1)
MoRRie's Pogiboys +1(10): Trent Richardson (3) Rashard Mendenhall (1) Calvin Johnson (3) Danny Amendola (2) Vincent Brown (1) Michael Crabtree (0)
Team Cameltoe +1(10): Russell Wilson (2) David Wilson (2) Daryl Richardson (1) Chris Ivory (1) Julio Jones (3) Jordy Nelson (1)

It's always nice when a long held asset turns into a bonafide star. Ann Arbor Bamfers drafted C.J. Spiller #5 overall in 2010 and held onto him for what seems like forever before he finally broke out last season. Spiller went from bronze to gold and just like that, Randy has a franchise runner. This does mean that Fred Jackson is heavily downgraded however, although I'm sure Bamfers doesn't mind. Having James Jones replace Doug Baldwin is a huge upgrade too, and Peyton Hillis, former coveted trade acquisition, is now a long lost memory. We're a little curious if Bamfers needed both Eli Manning and Colin Kaepernick, since maybe BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Golden Tate, or Anquan Boldin could have been low end keeper options. But who are we to argue with the best team keeper core in the division?

The only team to bring back all six keepers from a season ago, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros seems stuck on cruise control after a major shakeup last off-season -- not to mention finally getting into Maize and Blue. There was a slight shift in grades for the receiving crops of Victor Cruz, Mike Wallace, Eric Decker, and musty Antonio Gates, but otherwise it's Matt Ryan elevating himself to quarterback franchise status that gives Jon's team a slight improvement.

Coming off a division championship, Pogiboys were poised to lock in their position at the top for awhile, after a hit of the reset button. The additions of last year's #1 overall pick Trent Richardson and the emergence of Michael Crabtree should have vaulted Alvin's keeper core to another level. Instead, they were hit hard by the off-season as two top tight ends, Aaron Hernandez and Dennis Pitta, were wiped from his roster, and now Crabtree is facing a long rest on injured reserve. There are high hopes for new keepers Danny Amendola and Vincent Brown -- upgrades on Beanie Wells, Greg Little, and oft-injured Mikel Leshoure -- but there's some holes to fill here. Luckily Alvin has four first round picks this year...

We love team rebuilds and it doesn't get more exciting than the one Felipe undertook over the past off-season. Keeping only Julio Jones from the year before, Cameltoe will now feature Russell Wilson at the helm, along with the three headed maybe ground attack of David Wilson, Daryl Richardson, and Chris Ivory. New acquisition Jordy Nelson could have a bounce back year, even if he's been deflated a bit by a pre-season injury. While nothing is for certain, this crew definitely sounds more appealing than the five players who were on the keeper list a year ago: Jay Cutler, Shonn Greene, Roy Helu, Jeremy Maclin, and Jacob Tamme. Here's hoping the football gods reward gumption and fun trades karma!

Top Five Keeper Cores

1. Mandalorian Warriors (17): Last year's top keeper core upgraded. Watch out!
2. 100 Acre Pooh Bears (17): Great last year and even better this year. What happened to parity?
3. Italian Stallionz (15): Middle of the pack last year but vaulted up into the top three now.
4. Jedi Knights (14): One of the lower tier teams last season suddenly has a roster worth envying.
5. DM Paper Company and Another Bad Creation (13): Neither team gained from last season, but that's enough to keep them in the top ranks.

2013 Keepers

2012 Keeper Analysis: Western Conference

It was a dark day when EA Sports took all the football licensing rights away from other video games. However, 2K Sports circumvented that by using NFL legends in their All-Pro Football 2K8 game, which allowed you to draft a team filled with Hall of Famers and former stars.

"You get to select two Gold Star players (Joe Montana, Ronnie Lott, etc.), three Silver Star players (Randal Cunningham, Leslie O'Neal, etc.), and six Bronze Star players (Jim Harbaugh, Alvin Harper, etc.). In other words: Gold = Hall of Famer; Silver = Pro Bowler; Bronze = Played in the NFL."

Using that system, I'm awarding gold, silver, and bronze stars for this year's keeper cores -- skewed toward the upcoming 2012 season. Gold means this player is a franchise player or one of the best at his position. Silver is a solid starter. Bronze is a so-so starter. No stars is well, no stars. So here we go, a totally arbitrary ranking of everyone's 2012 keepers with gold, silver, bronze being worth 3/2/1 points respectively. [East review]

Ba-Donka-Donk
Another Bad Creation (13): Aaron Rodgers (3) Marshawn Lynch (3) Darren McFadden (2) Andre Johnson (2) Vincent Jackson (2) Robert Meachem (1)
Rhythm Drive (12): Philip Rivers (2) Michael Turner (2) Matt Forte (2) Willis McGahee (1) Larry Fitzgerald (3) Greg Jennings (2)
Jedi Knights (10): Peyton Manning (2) Andy Dalton (2) Alex Green (0) Wes Welker (3) Marques Colston (2) Jermaine Gresham (1)
P Funk All Stars (4): Joe Flacco (1) Sam Bradford (1) Pierre Thomas (1) Mark Ingram (1) James Starks (0) Montario Hardesty (0)

Another Bad Creation has the most stars in this division but that comes with a big caveat because both Darren McFadden and Andre Johnson are so injury prone. Vincent Jackson could move up a notch but we'll have to see how he does in Tampa Bay. And can you believe Marshawn Lynch is a franchise caliber RB? Yes!

Rhythm Drive has a very nice keeper core, with depth and strength all the way down the roster. Acquiring Larry Fitzgerald -- and to a lesser extent, Willis McGahee -- really put a bee in their bonnet and announces their push for a championship run behind Philip Rivers, Michael Turner, and Matt Forte.

The Jedi Knights have a potential QB battle and a big hole at RB, unless you think Alex Green is the answer. Right now Green's getting no stars until he shows us something. Prognosticators say that Jermaine Gresham could become a star at TE, but for now he's just a bronze player. The Knights have the perfect PPR receiver in Wes Welker, except we don't play PPR (yet?).

And what about P Funk All Stars, who are currently misnamed "all stars." Flacco is a borderline starter and Sam Bradford should be a zero based on his 2011 stats, but he still has some promise so we'll throw him a bone. And then there's the two star backfield, which features Pierre Thomas and Mark Ingram from the same team and non-factors James Starks and Montario Hardesty. For our money, we would have maybe taken a stab at keeping Kevin Smith around. This team needs to rebuild, fast.

Deez Nuts
Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (10): Matt Ryan (2) Darren Sproles (2) Victor Cruz (2) Mike Wallace (2) Eric Decker (0) Antonio Gates (2)
MoRRie's Pogiboys (10): Rashard Mendenhall (2) Beanie Wells (1) Mikel Leshoure (0) Calvin Johnson (3) Greg Little (1) Aaron Hernandez (3)
Ann Arbor Bamfers (9): Eli Manning (3) Fred Jackson (2) Frank Gore (2) Peyton Hillis (1) CJ Spiller (1) Doug Baldwin (0)
Team Cameltoe (9): Jay Cutler (1) Shonn Greene (2) Roy Helu (1) Jeremy Maclin (2) Julio Jones (2) Jacob Tamme (1)

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros and MoRRie's Pogiboys had polar opposite off-seasons. Ouroboros upgraded their keepers by trading Drew Brees while Pogiboys downgraded in a youth movement, trading away two starting caliber running backs. The Pogiboys still have Calvin Johnson and Aaron Hernandez but the rest of the keepers are suspect, especially with Rashard Mendenhall on the mend. The Ouroboros have more depth than when they started but will have to wait on the Mike Wallace situation to play itself out.

The intra-division trade by Pogiboys netted Ann Arbor Bamfers a declining but still solid Frank Gore. Along with franchise caliber QB Eli Manning and a possible top six back in Fred Jackson, there's some good stuff here. Well, except in the receiver department, which literally has a zero. CJ Spiller could challenge Fred Jackson for time here, and Peyton Hillis is going to score some short yardage TDs at the very least.

While Team Cameltoe has the same number of stars as the Bamfers, much of that strength is focused in wide receivers Jeremy Maclin and Julio Jones. Tight end Jacob Tamme could quickly elevate himself though, with Peyton Manning throwing him the ball. And while Jay Cutler's best fantasy days are probably behind him, Shonn Greene and Roy Helu both have the potential to get a lot more carries this year.

2012 Keeper Analysis: Eastern Conference

As we all know, keepers don't mean a thing but it sure is fun to evaluate them now that they've been officially declared. Part one covered the Western Conference, now here's the East.

Lebowski Achievers
Mandalorian Warriors (15): Drew Brees (3) LeSean McCoy (3) Steven Jackson (2) Jordy Nelson (2) Brandon Marshall (2) Rob Gronkowski (3)
Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (13): Tony Romo (2) Arian Foster (3) Chris Johnson (3) Ben Tate (1) Dwayne Bowe (2) Vernon Davis (2)
WS Tartars (12): Matt Schaub (1) Maurice Jones-Drew (3) Roddy White (3) Steve Johnson (2) Torrey Smith (1) Brandon Pettigrew (2)
Detroit Players (11): DeMarco Murray (2) Ryan Williams (0) AJ Green (2) Steve Smith (3) Hakeem Nicks (2) Jason Witten (2)

The Mandalorian Warriors are going all in this year and they have three gold players at QB/RB/TE. And the rest of their team is extremely solid too, with Steven Jackson, Jordy Nelson, and Brandon Marshall aboard. In fact, Nelson could be rated a third star if he can repeat last season's performance. This is the keeper core to beware heading into 2012.

Of course, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company might have a say here as they have the incredible running back duo of Arian Foster and Chris Johnson. Tony Romo and Vernon Davis have the potential to finish top of the charts at their respective positions and if not-Michael Scott can find Dwayne Bowe some help, the Paper Company is going to be more than just the talk of Scranton.

Both the WS Tartars and Detroit Players have keepers with definite strengths and weaknesses. The Tartars are strong with Maurice Jones-Drew and Roddy White, and have underrated receivers in Steve Johnson and Brandon Pettigrew. However they have a decent sized hole at QB with Matt Schaub, unless he can recapture his form from a few years ago. We're not sure that's going to happen now with the Texans featuring a strong running game.

If there's one team that needs a QB bad, it's the Players. It's extra unfortunate as Steve Smith, AJ Green, Hakeem Nicks, and Jason Witten are quite the receiving corps. We're giving DeMarco Murray the benefit of the doubt this year -- based on his mid-season stretch -- but so far there's been no return on the high draft pick used on Ryan Williams.

7 Championship Drive
100 Acre Pooh Bears (15): Cam Newton (3) Ray Rice (3) Ryan Mathews (2) Dez Bryant (2) Antonio Brown (2) Jimmy Graham (3)
Italian Stallionz (12): Tom Brady (3) Jamaal Charles (2) Felix Jones (1) Percy Harvin (3) Kenny Britt (1) Tony Gonzalez (2)
Squirtle Squad (12): Michael Vick (2) Adrian Peterson (3) Brandon Lloyd (2) Miles Austin (1) Denarius Moore (1) Jermichael Finley (3)
Human Amoebas (11): Matthew Stafford (3) Ahmad Bradshaw (2) DeAngelo Williams (2) DeSean Jackson (2) Pierre Garcon (2) Jon Baldwin (0)

The Pooh Bears are coming for the (honey) belt! Of course, they would look a lot better if Ryan Mathews wasn't just injured -- downgrading him to two stars -- but there's plenty of talent otherwise. Cam Newton, Ray Rice, and Jimmy Graham are three star players. Dez Bryant and Antonio Brown could both get there. This is a scary team for the future, and the present.

Entering his sophomore year as owner, GM Porta of the Italian Stallionz should be in win now mode with Tom Brady leading his team. The problem is nobody knows if Jamaal Charles is fully ready and if/when Kenny Britt is going to stop being a knucklehead. Percy Harvin has emerged as a near franchise guy though, which is pretty huge.

We're giving a lot of credit to Adrian Peterson by giving him three stars without seeing him hit the field. However, we believe he'll be back in time to make a difference for Squirtle Squad. And we're not sure what to do with WRs Miles Austin and Brandon Lloyd. Austin has been less than spectacular recently and Lloyd is moving to a new situation where he won't receive nearly as many targets. We split the difference and effectively gave them both 1.5 stars. Michael Vick and Jermichael Finley have the talent to be the best at their positions but they're also both guaranteed to miss games with injuries

The Human Amoebas have Matthew Stafford and a bunch of solid but second tier position players in Ahmad Bradshaw, DeAngelo Williams, DeSean Jackson, and Pierre Garcon. A second franchise guy here could push them into contention. Wasn't it Ayn Rand who asked "Who is Jon Baldwin?" Okay maybe not. We literally had to look up who Jon Baldwin was. Without that zero, this keeper core could have been a few points higher.

Top Five Keeper Cores

1. Mandalorian Warriors (15): No holes, in it to win it.
2. 100 Acre Pooh Bears (15): Solid on paper but Newton, Brown, and Bryant all have to prove themselves again.
3. Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (13): Our sleeper pick for best team in the league.
4. Another Bad Creation (13): Great roster on paper, but injury concerns abound.
5. Rhythm Drive (12): Italian Stallionz and Squirtle Squad also had the same number of stars but we'll go with Rhythm Drive's keepers as they don't have injury issues anywhere.

Keepers: 2012

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