Super Bowl XV

#7 Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6) def #4 MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4), 133.0 - 83.5

Another year, another Soliman upset over Alvin. Ouch. Last year Pogiboys was the lower seed but this time they were the odds on favorite to win. Instead, Sweep the Leg Zabka put up their highest scoring week of the season en route to a well, a total rout.

Pogiboys had only one week sub 83.5 points — back in WK7 when they threw up 70.5 — and Sweep the Leg had been putting up dual 56.0 and 59.5 points as recently as the last two weeks of the regular season. However, Alan’s team pulled themselves together for their playoff run, taking down top ranked Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada, and then sneaking by Squirtle Squad in RD2 by a mere +2.5 points. Zabka averaged 106.8 points during the 2019 playoffs after putting up a PF of only 72.3 over the course of the regular season.

After six seasons in Maize and Blue, Alan has managed a 49-28-1 (0.636) regular season record, six playoff appearances, four division titles, three Super Bowl appearances, and two championships. That’s a strong case for being the best owner in MnB history, especially given the time frame he’s accomplished this in. Two rings for Drew and Devonta!

Drew Brees, Devonta Freeman, Tyler Boyd, and Jared Cook all threw up 20+, and even with DK Metcalf tossing up a zero -- Odell Beckham Jr. was even benched for the title tilt -- Zabka really had no reason to fear Pogiboys because Nick Chubb started the day off with a mere four points, which was not what we predicted.

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce did their thing but Chubb and DeAndre Hopkins came out flat, as did Patriots defense. The third highest scorer for Pogiboys? How about Raheem Mostert with eleven points. For Pogi, it’s back for another regular season run and then a prayer and a bit of luck for the next Super Bowl. Should MoRRie’s Pogiboys consider a name change to the Vikings or Bills? Sorry Alvin, better luck next year, again...

Super Bowl XIIII

#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) def #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3), 143.5 - 97.0
Suffice to say, we’ve been here before. But at least this time, the Pooh versus Pogiboys matchup featured some scoring, unfortunately, it was mostly on Pooh’s side as they raced out to a huge lead early Sunday. By the time Patrick Mahomes and Doug Baldwin made their last ditch efforts to make up a 100+ point difference, most of the Pogi faithful were already tucked home safe in their beds, their daymare already over. We wish we had better news out there for the underdogs but this was a brutal beatdown by Pooh Bears, as they once again cement their status as the king of Maize and Blue.

With this victory, Pooh Bears have tied Another Bad Creation for the most titles since 2004 — three apiece — and now the race is on to see who can capture that fourth ring first. For now though, there’s no question that 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears are the best franchise in the history of MnB. With ten division titles, the second-best overall regular season record, one Toilet Bowl win, and three rings, nobody else stacks up to them.

Oh right, a little about the actual game. Deshuan Watson and Antonio Brown combined for 72 points, while every other position player put up double-digits. Overall it was a basic walk in the park for Pooh this season as they led the East with ten wins, put up a second-best 103.9 PA per week, dropped all respective lower seeds on their way to a title, and well, just took care of business by going 8-0-1 over the last nine weeks of the season. Led by Ezekiel Elliot, Brown, Mike Evans, David Johnson, and the dual-headed quarterback crew of Deshaun and Cam Newton, J and Jayvee only had to field twelve total position players all season long as they were a vision of stability. How can a third title be so boring?

With a slew of extra picks coming their way as usual, Pooh has a nice shot at being our first repeat champ since 2007-08. All hail the Pooh Bears reign — and Soliman reign, as Alan won Super Bowl XIII last season — and long may we live in fear. Congrats Solimans!

As of Morrie’s, this was their third Super Bowl loss in as many tries, and the only consolation is that there’s always next year. Armed with Patrick Mahomes, rookies Baker Mayfield and Nick Chubb, plus a deep receiving corps, Pogiboys should still remain a contender for years to come. Better luck tomorrow Alvin, better luck tomorrow.

Super Bowl XIII

Before Sweep the Leg Zabka had even played a game in Maize and Blue, new GM Alan made a pre-draft trade in 2014 for Rob Gronkowski. Three years later, Gronk led Zabka to their very first title with a team leading 14.5 points! It’s been three years, three division titles, and a sterling 26-12-1 regular season record, plus a previous Super Bowl appearance for Alan in 2015 — in which they were upset by Another Bad Creation. It took a nail biting, come from behind victory, but Sweep the Leg are finally the titans of Maize and Blue, and we are now all under threat for a league name change as Alan represents the Spartans, who are like, another color or something.

After withstanding Todd Gurley’s explosive early Sunday, Sweep the Leg looked to be in dire straits as Zabka hurtled toward a sub-80 point week for the first time in a month. However, Gronk came through, Sammy Watkins caught a touchdown to score 10.5 points, and Bears defense held strong. Heading into Monday night, Sweep the Leg was up a mere 4.5 points, with a kicker versus wide receiver matchup. Long story short, Jake Elliot fended off Nelson Agholor, handing Alan the win, and giving the higher seed the championship for the first time since 2013!

Despite a poor scoring week all around, Alan’s first title showcased all his strengths as an owner. The constant wheeling and dealing — bringing in Drew Brees and Devonta Freeman this year — the uber confidence, the deep roster of unsightly JPEGs, Alan used all the tools at his disposal to bring home the ring. Overall, Alan has shifted pieces everywhere in his search for a title. Five trades in 2014, one in 2015, two in 2016, and four separate ones this year. (He seems to specialize in turning backup quarterbacks into draft pieces, including EJ Manuel, Mike Glennon, Ryan Tannehill, Eli Manning, and Jared Goff most recently.)

And aside from moves for now-champs Gronk, Brees, and Freeman, Alan has also brought in new owners Dave and Donny this past off-season, fine additions to our league. Plus Alan’s always been vigilant about trade deadlines and schedule screw ups. It’s safe to say that Alan has made his mark on Maize and Blue, and while he may hail from an inferior school, he’s number one in Maize and Blue! Congrats Sweep the Leg Zabka, you’re officially the biggest villain now!

• #2 Sweep the Leg Zabkha (9-3-1) def #4 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6), 77.0 - 72.5

On the other side, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros had a sterling upset filled playoff run, their first in MnB, but celebrated little too early behind Gurley’s 43 points. As the entire Dallas offense wilted away, Das Prescott and Jason Witten combined for a mere 10.5 points and then to add insult to injury, the pre-playoff trade for #1 ranked Jaguars defense resulted in a -3 score in the championship game. With only Gurley and kicker Kai Fortbath scoring in double digits, Ouroboros couldn’t capitalize on Gurley’s historic fantasy playoffs and instead will take home a “thanks for playing” participation trophy and settle for the closest Super Bowl in MnB history. Wah wah.

Super Bowl Preview 2017

Since coming aboard in 2014, Alan has stamped his Sweep the Leg Zabka as a franchise to be feared. They’ve made the playoffs in every season they’ve played and reached the Super Bowl in 2015 (before getting upset by Another Bad Creation). They’ll have to look to avoid another upset as they face off in another #2 vs #4 matchup, this time versus title game neophytes Hungry Hungry Ouroboros.

Jon’s team entered Maize and Blue in 2012, taking over for the defending champs, but since then has gone 23-42 in five seasons, before finishing 7-6 this year and squeaking into the playoffs — despite losing their last three regular season games. However, once there, they’ve upset both #1 and #2 seeds in the Western Conference and might have the gas for one more victory. Let’s take a look at the matchups.

QB: Drew Brees has been steady as ever, albeit a tad less than spectacular this season, while Ouroboros’ Dak Prescott has been wildly up and down, swinging between low single digit outings and high twenties. The consistency edge has to go to Sweep the Leg here.

RB: It’s been a rotating cast of castoffs for Alan this year at running back, with their highest scoring RB being Devonta Freeman, whom they acquired in early November for the stretch run for the price of two future RD1s and a RD3. Freeman didn’t even see the field until three weeks ago but he looks poised to have a good championship game. Will he be able to match Todd Gurley’s MVP-like season? No, but he could be similarly explosive. Behind Freeman, there’s literally nobody else as Alfred Morris, Terrance West, Marlon Mack, Jonathan Stewart, Damien Williams, and Rob Kelley all had a cup of coffee this year for Zabka and all will be quietly benched.

As for Ouroboros, they have Gurley, and some success with Jerick McKinnon, and traded for Isaiah Crowell late, but it looks like rookie Joe Mixon will get the start after missing two weeks with a concussion. For a team that whiffed on two huge trades — acquiring the now injured Dalvin Cook and the inconsistent Mixon — Ouroboros’ running game is in decent shape, based on the strength of Gurley.

WR: There’s no question about it, Zabka has the edge here. Marvin Jones has quietly been a top twelve receiver and while Sammy Watkins and Kelvin Benjamin haven’t exactly thrived on their new NFL teams, they have been more than serviceable. The loss of Odell Beckham Jr early in the season hurt Alan’s team of course, but they’ve recovered well. As for Hungry, a rotating cast of boom-or-bust receivers have led them to feature Nelson Agholor, Will Fuller V, and Robert Woods for most of the season, but aside from Agholor, it hasn’t been especially dependable. Ouroboros is choosing to go with Paul Richardson over Corey Coleman or similar trash.

TE: It’s Rob Gronkowski versus Jason Witten. Haha. This is probably the matchup that gives Zabka the title this year, just saying…

K/DEF: Normally we don’t cover DEF or K that much but since Ouroboros made a special effort to trade for #1 defense, Jacksonville, a month ago, this would be the game for them to step up and prove they were worth the price. Of course, Bears defense faces of against the Browns so there’s a chance Zabka evens this edge out. The two kickers, Kai Forbath versus Jake Elliot, are basically a wash.

Prediction: Zabka by ten, and a new title holder for Maize and Blue either way!

Super Bowl XII

Well well, what started as a water balloon fight between Fockers and Pogiboys early (Fockers were leading big on Saturday), turned into a knife fight later (as Travis Kelce went wild), and then escalated into a tense duel by Monday Night Football as Dez Bryant went mano a mano against the Detroit Lions to determine who would take home the Maize and Blue championship this year. Well, Dez had only one catch and 19 yards early on, but he soon turned it up a notch and eventually gathered four total passes for seventy yards. And had three touchdowns, including a one-handed grab. And threw for a score to boot. In the end, Fockers needed 2.5 points on MNF and got 25, making Super Bowl XII a blowout by the final score, but we all know it was closer than that... A nail biter to the very end!

As we predicted last week, Fockers had the edge across the board but Pogiboys matched Fockers punch for punch. Blake Bortles outscored Andrew Luck. LeSean McCoy wasn’t far behind LeVeon Bell. Sure, Alvin’s Bears defense lost seven points, but Hong’s Dolphins were negative two also. And even though Jimmy Graham and LeGarrette Blount turned in nice games — while DeAndre Hopkins and Demaryius Thomas were both pretty much M.I.A. — the career 27.5 point game from Kelce pushed Pogiboys into the lead come Sunday night. A win would have given Pogiboys their first title, after losing in their lone previous Super Bowl appearance in 2013. Alvin had to be sitting at home, hoping Bryant wouldn’t suit up for Monday night, as he had a large red “Q” next to his name. But alas, we know what happened next…

• #7 Fockers (7-6) def #4 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4), 110.0 - 87.5

For Fockers, it’s been a culmination of a long path for them toward championship status. GM Hong came into the league with a lot of aplomb in 2012, taking over day-to-day operations for Eric. After a season of seasoning, Hong completely took over a struggling Human Amoebas franchise in 2013 — losing records in four of their last five seasons — and went 7-6, 10-3, 5-8, and 7-6 since, with two postseason appearances, one The Wood division title, and two Super Bowl appearances. Impressive stuff. And the cherry on top was this title, which was so poetic because it was in 2015, coming off his first Super Bowl appearance, that Hong pushed all-in for Dez Bryant. Five picks (including two first rounders) and one 5-8 season later, Hong was likely regretting his move. But the fantasy gods reward boldness, and Bryant was the hero of this title story, just one year later.

In fact, master gambler Hong has proven that he’s got the golden touch in many of his moves. There was the trade away of Matthew Stafford — keeping Andrew Luck — that netted him Demaryius Thomas. And then there was the 2013 #1 overall selection of LeVeon Bell, who has been one of the best fantasy players since. Hong assembled so much talent that his Fockers were given the mythical title of “best keeper core” heading into 2015, and it was only that one year dip that prevented them from capturing a title earlier.

We called this year's 7-6 Fockers our potential playoffs dark horse and now they've come through with three brilliant playoff wins and a shiny new ring!!! How about we remove that asterisk now? The Fockers are the no-asterik best team in Maize and Blue, congrats!

As for Morrie’s Pogiboys, the story remains the same: great team but can’t get over the hump. Despite having a load of regular season success over the years — and now two Super Bowl appearances — Alvin keeps getting upended by Another Bad Creation or an upset minded Super Bowl challenger. With four Hoke-A-Mania division titles in the last five years — an astounding ten division titles overall — it’s old hat for Pogi fans to celebrate September through November and then get their dreams crushed in December. If the Cavs and the Cubs can end their title droughts, why can’t Morrie’s team?! Better luck next year Alvin, and we’ll be rooting for your first championship soon.

Super Bowl Preview 2016

#4 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4) vs #7 Fockers (7-6)
We're gonna have a first time champion, as Alvin and Hong both took care of business in the conference finals, defeating their lower seeded opponents. And now the two ex-Funktion members face off in a Super Bowl that will be mostly determined on Christmas Day! Who's going to receive a lump of coal and who's going to get a shiny new ring!? (Everyone paid up their dues yet?) Let's go to the tale of the tape...

QB: It’s Andrew Luck versus Blake Bortles, which on paper sounds like one of the biggest mismatches in championship game history. And while Bortles has only topped double digits in one of his last three games, it’s not like Luck has been overly spectacular recently, with only 16 and 18 points in his last two outings. Still, Luck versus Bortles is no competition. (Is there a chance Pogi rolls the dice with Robert Griffin III?!) EDGE: Fockers

RB: Once upon a time, Alvin’s team had Eddie Lacy as his lead back, but now his running game relies on a rejuvenated LeSean McCoy and um, not much else. Duke Johnson will likely get the start but he’s basically a five point guy, unless he can sneak in a touchdown. Fockers features two top ten backs in LeVeon Bell and LeGarrette Blount. Both are locks for double figures and there’s no telling what Bell is capable of on a week by week basis. Even with McCoy cancelling out a big day by Bell, Blount versus Johnson is a win for Hong’s backfield. EDGE: Fockers

WR: Again, on paper this is a no brainer: Dez Bryant and Demaryius Thomas versus DeAndre Hopkins and Chris Hogan (or possibly John Brown or Sammie Coates). Alvin will have to choose which secondary receiver he’d like to gamble with, while Hong will have the luxury of two #1WRs to just leave in his lineup. Dez and Demaryius face tough defenses but that shouldn’t prevent them from outscoring Hopkins and whoever lines up next to him. Also, Dez plays on Monday Night, which could have big implications if this game gets tight...  EDGE: Fockers

TE: Now we’ve got a real competition! Travis Kelce has really come on recently, with four great games in his last five — all 100+ yard efforts — while Jimmy Graham has been erratic at best. The top end for both of these guys may be similar but Kelce has demonstrated a lot more consistency and explosiveness to close the season. Could a tight end lead Alvin to the promised land? He may have to count on it! EDGE: Pogiboys

DEF: While Pogi’s Bears defense has put up some nice games recently, they’re going to be facing off against an explosive Washington offense at just the wrong time. There’s a possibility that these Bears could even pull of a negative score, which they’ve done in three straight weeks, WK10-12. On the other hand, Fockers’ Dolphins defense is coming off two good weeks, and face a Bills team in snowy Buffalo that could keep the score low, giving the Dolphins at least a respectable fantasy score at the end of the day. EDGE: Fockers

K: To be honest, both kickers could be better here, as Hong’s insistence on holding onto a Chargers kicker, Josh Lambo, has resulted in only about four points per game in the last month. Lambo should have been replaced weeks ago. But it’s not like Dan Carpenter has been incredible either, although he seems at least capable of reaching 8-9 points this week. EDGE: Pogiboys

Prediction: Despite being the lower seed, Fockers is the heavy favorite here, with an edge in every key position, save tight end. Fockers are in the best position to grab their first title, and aside from a mega-flop from the Bell and Blount combo, we’re looking at an easy double digit win and champagne in the OC by Sunday night. Let’s just hope there’s no blog curse….

Super Bowl XI

Another year, another 6-7 team takes the title! Last year’s winners, Original Salt, went from losing his last five games of the regular season to a clean sweep of the 2014 championship. This year’s run from Another Bad Creation might be even more impressive. I mean, how many teams start their championship year by offloading Marshawn Lynch and LeSean McCoy during the draft? And then halfway through the season, while struggling and likely out of the playoffs, trade away Aaron Rodgers? That's their top three keepers from 2015!

• #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5), 95.0 - 77.5

The decision to move Rodgers turned out to be a great one, as he only topped twenty points one time in his last six outings, and put up 18-10-7 pts in the fantasy playoffs. After a fling with Alex Smith, ABC stood by Kirk Cousins and was rewarded with 21-35-32 pts games during the postseason run. And well, McCoy and Lynch would have both been unavailable of the Super Bowl, as well as basically having terrible down seasons. Lynch has been out since WK10 and McCoy struggled with injuries all season long as well. So yeah, good riddance!

So how did ABC upset three opponents on the way to their third title of the modern era -(as defined by how far back I’ve tracked on this blog)? Shockingly, the team MVP this year has been Jordan Reed, tight end extraordinaire, who piled up 22.5 - 23.5 - 28.5 pts weeks, and had ABC’s third most points scored on the season. Number one on that list? Rookie running back TJ Yeldon, who didn’t even suit up for the title game due to injury. If you look at ABC’s top scorers on the season, only Reed and Cousins even appear, with Vincent Jackson also taking a seat during championship week.

If we’re looking for additional championship heroes, we have to turn to Patriots DST and Chandler Catanzaro, Arizona’s kicker. The Patriots were huge with 15 and 18 points the first two weeks of the playoffs, especially in the conference finals which featured a margin of only 7.5 points. Catanzaro has been good all season and his steady kicking helped push ABC over the top. We’d love to say that there was more but it was basically the Redskins' passing duo, a tough defense, and some nice kicking that took ABC to an improbable championship.

Oliver will celebrate hard and then go home this summer and count all the draft picks he acquired. By unofficial estimate his haul will include three first rounders for McCoy, three first rounders and a second for Lynch, and a whopping five first rounders (plus he received Cousins) for Rodgers. That’s eleven first rounders and a second, starting from 2016 through 2020. Whew! If this wasn’t a dream season for Oliver, what else could have been better? Congrats on another shiny ring Oliver!

As for Sweep the Leg Zabka, who entered the title game on an eight game win streak after starting off the season 2-7, they were headed for a dream season of their own until the Odell Beckham Jr. suspension for the Super Bowl. That cost Zabka not just their top performer but also hampered his starting quarterback, Eli Manning, pretty dramatically. Without his star receiver, Manning managed only seven points during the title match and that helped seal the deal, despite a heroic effort from Latavius Murray. After talking a lot of smack post 131.5 - 44 beatdown during the conference finals, perhaps sophomore owner Alan got what was coming, a karmic upset by Another Bad Creation.

All that aside, GM Alan has put together an incredible first two seasons in Maize and Blue and still has quite the roster assembled and ready for next season, where they'll likely be strong contenders agin. So thanks to Sweep the Leg Zabka for a thrilling Super Bowl and a great post-season run and a great season for everybody!

Super Bowl X

It’s hard to tell if there’s been a bigger upset post-season than the one Original Salt just pulled off. This owner hasn’t been around long enough to see other shocking playoff runs, but from what I can tell, after a run of Super Bowl upsets in 2004-2006, it’s been smooth sailing for the Maize and Blue favorites until last year’s 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears victory, and now Original Salt’s title. But Pooh Bears were barely underdogs last season, as they were a 9-4 team facing off against a 10-3 Pogiboys squad.

• Original Salt (6-7) vs * Fockers (10-3), 74 - 50

Reno’s team was 6-7 this year — after posting back-to-back 4-9 seasons — and they snuck into the playoffs and then destroyed the #1 and #2 seeds. Well, maybe “destroy” is too strong a word, but there’s no question that Reno’s team took down the only two teams that hit double digit regular season wins this season. Their first round upset of regular season champ Jedi Knights was a shock. Their second round win versus Cameltoe set the stage for an epic upset. And then during the Super Bowl, the ultimate sign that Original Salt was this year’s team of destiny appeared: Andrew Luck, the number one ranked fantasy player, took a bagel in his Super Bowl appearance. Yes, a big fat zero!

It must have been infuriating for Fockers’ owner Hong to watch Luck get pulled during the Colts’ blowout at the hands of the Cowboys. After a Saturday game that saw TE Antonio Gates leap out to 21 points, it looked like Fockers would waltz to a championship. That’s how the storyline should’ve played out, Goliath wallops David.

Instead, all of the things that we pointed out in last week’s Super Bowl preview didn’t happen. Original Salt’s stand-in tight end Jordan Cameron caught a TD and put up 14 points after scoring 8 points combined in his previous nine games. Kicker Josh Brown punched in 15 nasty points, punching Fockers where it hurt, as their kicker, Billy Cundiff, rode the injury pine.

And then there was the defensive collapse by Fockers’ Rams, who gave up -5 points on the week, further adding insult to injury. Between Luck’s no show, a negative defense, and no kicker, it was uphill all the way for the Super Bowl favorites. When Le’Veon Bell and Demaryius Thomas failed to come up big, Original Salt had their title in hand, powered along by Matt Forte’s 15 points, Jordan Cameron, and Josh Brown. Unexpected heroes, just like Original Salt’s entire season.

Usually in this space, we talk about the wonderful stats that the Super Bowl winner put up. But Original Salt only scored 67.5 ppg for the regular season, outscoring only three other teams. They were 3-5 at home, 1-5 in their division, and entered the post-season on a five game losing streak. In fact, after starting off the season 5-1, they stumbled 1-6 the rest of the way. They had one player ranked in the top five at their position, Matt Forte, and one player, Ben Roethlisberger ranked just outside the top five — but Roethlisberger split much of his time with Jay Cutler. The other top scorers for this team? Roddy White, Terrance Williams, and Doug Baldwin. So this really was a miracle playoffs for them!

Instead of looking at the series of occurrences that had to happen for Reno to win the championship, it's better to see this post-season run as an inspiration tale. A with average keepers, a recent history of losing, and tailspinning at the end of the season rode fairy dust and wishes toward a championship. With a little bit of luck, and no Luck, Original Salt will lord it over Maize and Blue for a full year, knowing that they gave the league one of the most unexpected title runs ever. Congrats Original Salt!

As for Fockers, this was a gut punch of an ending to what could have been. They had the path to a title cleared out for them, but eventually fell to the same team that eliminated all of their main competitors. Fockers still have Luck, Bell, and Thomas to push forward with, but this loss will hang heavy in their hearts as the missed opportunity for a title clouds their off-season. Still, Fockers are too talented to not return to contention, and this was a breakout year for them after a recent transferral of management power. Better Luck next year!

Super Bowl VIIII

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears vs MoRRie’s Pogiboys, 72-53
It was a season of inevitability. All four division winners got past their first opponents and made it into the conference finals. In a season featuring familiar names at the top of the scoring charts, our four remaining teams seemed fated to duke it out all season long. It would take a team of true destiny to upend our expectations and show us that surprises can still happen. That team? The 2013 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears!

After dethroning the former champs, J’s team shuffled into the Super Bowl on a steady if unglamorous streak. They were quietly confident, having won four of their last five games. Sure, their opponents were the mighty Pogiboys — who were favored in the matchup — but we all know that Pooh Bears show no fear. Alvin’s team had scored 93 and 131 points in their playoff matchups, and had a team that was firing on all cylinders. Tom Brady, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, hometown hero Calvin Johnson, resurrected DeSean Jackson, all of these players were faced with excellent match ups.

When Pooh Bears came out flat, with Cam Newton scoring 9 points and 2013 first round pick Shane Vereen totaling only 6, things didn’t look great for Pooh. Also, their Bills DEF sat on the bench with 21 points, while the starting Browns DEF had garnered a whopping -1 points. It didn’t look like another upset was in the cards for Pooh Bears. They had gotten double digit scoring efforts from all four of their receivers — Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Bryant, and Cordarrelle Patterson — but they barely topped sixty points heading into Sunday night.

Alas, for the Pogiboys, it was a gut wrenching day as their players continued to misfire. Tom Brady somehow only threw up 10 points despite a Patriots’ 41-7 blowout. DeSean Jackson caught four passes for 39 yards in an Eagles 54-11 blowout game. And then Calvin Johnson, who had mysteriously flamed out for most of the playoffs, only accrued four points also. With Tyler Eifert and Chiefs DEF both racking up zero points, this was looking like the wimpiest Super Bowl in history. Only Eddie Lacy went over twenty points for either side, as the rookie was the only one now scared by the bright lights. For Alvin, it would take a monster effort from Michael Crabtree on MNF to take the title. Unfortunately, 49ers kicker Phil Dawson outscored Crabtree, giving Pooh Bears the title in a 72-53 “blowout” that wasn’t as close as even that final score indicated. Note: The 72 point winning score was the lowest since Pooh Bear’s last Super Bowl victory, a 2006 contest over Thundercats (77-55).

In the end, Pooh Bears were happy to take the championship trophy home, since a win is a win is a win! Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!! Congrats to J&J, Jose and Jayvee!

• The Pooh Bears started off the season 4-1, had a bit of a stumble, and then righted the ship to finish winning five of their last six games.
• They were the second highest scoring team in the league, and faced the fourth toughest schedule. 
• Their best free agent pickup? Rookie receiver Cordarrelle Patterson in late November.
• Their top four scorers for the year: Cam Newton, Antonio Brown, Jimmy Graham, Dez Bryant.
• Biggest disappointments: Ray Rice and Doug Martin.
• Highest score: 126-58 W over Italian Stallionz in WK11. Nine total DeLorean weeks (over 88 points).
• Pooh Bears are set up for a sweet future, with a great keeper core, and tons of future picks. For example, they receive Cameltoe’s 2014 RD1 and RD2 pick, and Another Bad Creation's 2014 RD1, as well as as slew of later round picks from other teams. Also, somehow Pooh Bears owns Cameltoe’s first few round picks almost all the way through 2016! Dare we say "dynasty alert?!"

Super Bowl VIII

Vowing to make himself a return trip to the Super Bowl after narrowly losing out last season, Matt pulled out all the stops to get his Mandalorian Warriors ready for the 2012 season. He traded for Drew Brees. He traded for Roddy White. He sacrificed chickens to Jobu. He dedicated every Sunday to the NFL. He offered to donate his winnings, and keepers, to the lesser Maize and Blue teams. He just wanted a championship.

Things weren't looking good for Matt's team as the playoffs started. Despite going 10-3 and having one of the best records in the league, the Warriors were working without LeSean McCoy, Rob Gronkowski, and Jordy Nelson. That left the Warriors scrambling to use their depth. Owen Daniels anyone? After dispatching the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in RD1, the Warriors faced a rough matchup against the streaking Pooh Bears team. With grit -- and a lot of Brees -- the Warriors went over that hurdle and managed to make their way back to the championship game. We can only imagine how nervous Matt was as he experienced a sense of deja vu. Could he take the final step toward glory when last year he came up short?

The Warriors opponent would be Oliver's Another Bad Creation, who had basically waltzed into the championship game by making the Ann Arbor Bamfers disappear, almost doubling the Bamfers' score and winning by 47 points. Led by Aaron Rodgers, Marshawn Lynch, and Andre Johnson, Oliver's team certainly had the horses to upset the Warriors, and Oliver himself also had the decided edge in championship experience, as he's won titles in recent years (2004, 2009). Grabbing another title would certainly put Oliver into the discussion for best Maize and Blue team ever. Over the past five years, ABC has a 71.9% regular season winning percentage, tops in the league -- by a wide margin.

Heading into WK16, ABC made no lineup changes while Mandalorian subbed out Brandon Gibson for LeSean McCoy, a huge boost. The Warriors got off to a huge start Saturday night, behind Roddy White's 150+ yards and two TDs. Still, Matt was restrained in his enthusiasm, saying that there's "a lot of football left." All season long, Matt hasn't wanted to jinx himself by over-celebrating, and that has led to mandated quiet times in Mandalorian Stadium, even as the team has racked up the points and broke records. "Restraint" was standard celebrating procedure for the Warriors. Instead of cheering, an eerie silence was often the way fans paid respect to their team.

For ABC, Aaron Rodgers went four touchdowns crazy, and he had Marshawn Lynch churning right alongside him. The two combined for 56 points, making this sort of a game. However, Andre Johnson, Vincent Jackson, and Martellus Bennett all failed to score, giving the ABC passing attack little teeth. Even with a surprising huge day from Chargers defense, Another Bad Creation was swamped by Sunday afternoon. The final score was closer than the game appeared. (Would Reggie Bush for Darren McFadden have won ABC the game? Yes, but there are no what ifs in fantasy football. Oh wait, sure there are! Bush for McFadden...)

As for the Warriors, a large exhale was heard all over the Midwest as Drew Brees put up 29 points of his own, and every other starter -- save Owen Daniels -- had double digits on the way to an incredible 132 points. The vaunted Bears defense finally came up huge again, as they had two defensive touchdowns on the way to 26 points. In the end however, it was Brees and White, the two newest stars of the Mandalorian Warrior galaxy, that pushed Matt to a first championship. Congratulatons!

Some say that the Warriors mortgaged everything on the 2012 season -- they have no picks in the first three rounds until 2016, and no first round pick until 2019 -- but that's what it's about about right? Championships! We love it when people go all in and the Warriors showed how it should be done this season. GM Matt skillfully constructed a roster that is now the envy of the league, owner Matt opened up the pocket book to sign all those players, and coach Matt led the Warriors the rest of the way. Now the fans on their home planet of Manda'yaim can cheer and celebrate as they've proven themselves on the field. Their little Mandalorian warrior hearts can burst in joy from a season to remember and a huge goal accomplished. *insert battle cry*

"In five millennia, the Mandalorians fought with and against a thousand armies on a thousand worlds. They learned to speak as many languages and absorbed weapons technology and tactics from every war. And yet, despite the overwhelming influence of alien cultures, and the absence of a true homeworld and even species, their own language not only survived but changed little, their way of life and their philosophy remained untouched, and their ideals and sense of family, of identity, of nation, were only strengthened."
-Mandalorians: Identity and Language-

Super Bowl VII

The Squirtle Squad is no stranger to championships. Research has indicated that Brian won three in a row before the keeper era, not to mention another one five years ago. Their 2010 championship was a march toward destiny as they creamed the competition. The only real bump in their win this playoffs was in round one, when the Squirtles had a tight game versus another former champ, the 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears. That game was decided by seven points, but Brian prevailed on the strength of Peyton Manning and Andre Johnson's combined forty six points.

After that nail biter, it was smooth sailing for the Squirtles as they upset top seed Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in the semi-finals (77-54) before facing off against Drew Brees and Brandon Lloyd in the Super Bowl. The Thundercats entered the 2010 playoffs with the lowest seed but took out every higher ranked opponent on their way to the championship game. Unfortunately, big game jitters saw their Chargers defense collapse -- negative two points -- and then Cinderella got a beat down by forty points.

With Manning leading the way, Squirtle Squad also had Adrian Peterson, Miles Austin, and a surprisingy Ryan Torain scoring big points in the finale. Andre Johnson sat on the bench due to injury but that just meant he was well rested for the after party. This championship is Brian's fifth, and if not for a Peterson fumble years ago, it could have been his sixth. Still, can we say "dynasty?"