Super Bowl VIII

Vowing to make himself a return trip to the Super Bowl after narrowly losing out last season, Matt pulled out all the stops to get his Mandalorian Warriors ready for the 2012 season. He traded for Drew Brees. He traded for Roddy White. He sacrificed chickens to Jobu. He dedicated every Sunday to the NFL. He offered to donate his winnings, and keepers, to the lesser Maize and Blue teams. He just wanted a championship.

Things weren't looking good for Matt's team as the playoffs started. Despite going 10-3 and having one of the best records in the league, the Warriors were working without LeSean McCoy, Rob Gronkowski, and Jordy Nelson. That left the Warriors scrambling to use their depth. Owen Daniels anyone? After dispatching the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in RD1, the Warriors faced a rough matchup against the streaking Pooh Bears team. With grit -- and a lot of Brees -- the Warriors went over that hurdle and managed to make their way back to the championship game. We can only imagine how nervous Matt was as he experienced a sense of deja vu. Could he take the final step toward glory when last year he came up short?

The Warriors opponent would be Oliver's Another Bad Creation, who had basically waltzed into the championship game by making the Ann Arbor Bamfers disappear, almost doubling the Bamfers' score and winning by 47 points. Led by Aaron Rodgers, Marshawn Lynch, and Andre Johnson, Oliver's team certainly had the horses to upset the Warriors, and Oliver himself also had the decided edge in championship experience, as he's won titles in recent years (2004, 2009). Grabbing another title would certainly put Oliver into the discussion for best Maize and Blue team ever. Over the past five years, ABC has a 71.9% regular season winning percentage, tops in the league -- by a wide margin.

Heading into WK16, ABC made no lineup changes while Mandalorian subbed out Brandon Gibson for LeSean McCoy, a huge boost. The Warriors got off to a huge start Saturday night, behind Roddy White's 150+ yards and two TDs. Still, Matt was restrained in his enthusiasm, saying that there's "a lot of football left." All season long, Matt hasn't wanted to jinx himself by over-celebrating, and that has led to mandated quiet times in Mandalorian Stadium, even as the team has racked up the points and broke records. "Restraint" was standard celebrating procedure for the Warriors. Instead of cheering, an eerie silence was often the way fans paid respect to their team.

For ABC, Aaron Rodgers went four touchdowns crazy, and he had Marshawn Lynch churning right alongside him. The two combined for 56 points, making this sort of a game. However, Andre Johnson, Vincent Jackson, and Martellus Bennett all failed to score, giving the ABC passing attack little teeth. Even with a surprising huge day from Chargers defense, Another Bad Creation was swamped by Sunday afternoon. The final score was closer than the game appeared. (Would Reggie Bush for Darren McFadden have won ABC the game? Yes, but there are no what ifs in fantasy football. Oh wait, sure there are! Bush for McFadden...)

As for the Warriors, a large exhale was heard all over the Midwest as Drew Brees put up 29 points of his own, and every other starter -- save Owen Daniels -- had double digits on the way to an incredible 132 points. The vaunted Bears defense finally came up huge again, as they had two defensive touchdowns on the way to 26 points. In the end however, it was Brees and White, the two newest stars of the Mandalorian Warrior galaxy, that pushed Matt to a first championship. Congratulatons!

Some say that the Warriors mortgaged everything on the 2012 season -- they have no picks in the first three rounds until 2016, and no first round pick until 2019 -- but that's what it's about about right? Championships! We love it when people go all in and the Warriors showed how it should be done this season. GM Matt skillfully constructed a roster that is now the envy of the league, owner Matt opened up the pocket book to sign all those players, and coach Matt led the Warriors the rest of the way. Now the fans on their home planet of Manda'yaim can cheer and celebrate as they've proven themselves on the field. Their little Mandalorian warrior hearts can burst in joy from a season to remember and a huge goal accomplished. *insert battle cry*

"In five millennia, the Mandalorians fought with and against a thousand armies on a thousand worlds. They learned to speak as many languages and absorbed weapons technology and tactics from every war. And yet, despite the overwhelming influence of alien cultures, and the absence of a true homeworld and even species, their own language not only survived but changed little, their way of life and their philosophy remained untouched, and their ideals and sense of family, of identity, of nation, were only strengthened."
-Mandalorians: Identity and Language-

Clash of the Titans

There's been some talk that one conference is stronger than the other. It'd be hard for any logical analyst to argue differently. There's a chance that this week's conference finals is "the real Super Bowl," as J's Pooh Bears and Matt's Mandalorian Warriors are the cream of the crop teams this year. Let's take a closer look at their big matchup this week shall we?

QB: It's Killer Cam versus Drew Brees. After trading for Brees right before the draft, this is when Mr. New Orleans will most have to come through. Cam Newton has scored 37, 28 and 36 points in recent weeks, and he's going up against a porous San Diego defense. Brees has totaled 35 points during that same span, with a four point clunker in WK13. While this should be the marquee matchup, it's clear that Newton will dominate. EDGE: Pooh Bears

RB: The Pooh Bears have an enviable run game, as Ray Rice and Doug Martin are arguably the best pair of RBs in the league. Ray Ray has suffered a hip contusion last week but he's pretty much a lock for mid-double digits. The rookie Muscle Hamster won't get near his 51 point day from November, but he's been consistent with double digits in eight of his last nine games. We're looking at least 30+ points combined for Rice and Martin. The Warriors are down LeSean McCoy and will be forced to run-and-shoot with Steven Jackson as the lone back. Jackson is far removed from his heyday but he'll get in the low teens. Still, the Pooh Bears will hammer away with an enviable rushing attack. EDGE: Pooh Bears

WR: Where the Warriors will make up ground is through the air, with Roddy White and Brandon Marshall each capable of 20+ point efforts. Third receiver Brandon Gibson has been hot too, averaging 14 points during his last two outings. For the Pooh Bears, Miles Austin and Antonio Brown both lack the explosiveness that could challenge the Warriors' defensive backfield. Still, if they can sneak into double digits, it'll be enough to keep the Warriors at bay. EDGE: Mandalorian Warriors

TE: Where art thou Jimmy Graham? He's had 8, 3, 5, 5 points over the past month, and that is pretty poor for a top teir tight end. Luckily, the Warriors are counting on Owen Daniels, who has suffered from the same malady over the past month, scoring only 19 points combined over his last four games. EDGE: None

K/DEF: Stephen Gostkowski and Matt Prater are mostly a wash, with a slight edge going to Prater as he's been 12+ points in three of his last five games. Gostkowski can match those numbers too though, so there's not much advantage in the kicking game for either team. Earlier this season, the Bears defense was making life impossible for opposing offenses, as they continually racked up huge numbers. Of late however, they've gone cold, with only one double digit showing, and even a -2 in WK11 versus San Francisco. Facing Aaron Rodgers, it's unlikely the Bears will find a big week. The Pooh Bears' Dolphins defense isn't anything to rave about, as they're more likely to score five points or so. Kickers and defenses are hard to predict but we'll give a slight edge to the Warriors' slightly better pairing. EDGE: Mandalorian Warriors

Overall the Pooh Bears have scored 100+ in their last three games, while the Warriors have been hampered by injuries and been putting up high 80s scores. Unless Cam Newton completely collapses, the Pooh Bears are the heavy favorites here. Get the 100 Acre Wood ready for a parade, it could be coming through in two weeks!

Playoffs: RD1 Recaps

Wow! Last week we predicted some close games but this was madness. Let's dispense with the blowouts. First, the Italian Stallionz posed no threat to powerhouse Pooh Bears, despite a late MNF flurry from Tom Brady and Stevan Ridley. J's team had Cam Newton and Seahawks defense combine for 77 points, which just means great coaching from the Pooh Bears staff. They were celebrating by halftime. The other favorite, Mandalorian Warriors, took out Dunder Mifflin Paper Company with a workmanlike 88 points, placing six players in double figures.

Heading into MNF, the Pogiboys were hoping to make a comeback against Another Bad Creation. Down just a handful of points -- partially due to a negative seven from ABC's Cardinals defense -- it was Aaron Hernandez versus Andre Johnson, respectively. With the GroupMe lit up with reverse jinxes, Hernandez started piling up TDs. A slim ABC lead was evaporating as the Pogiboys gained momentum and hope. Johnson ended up with a fine 97 yards, but no scores, while Hernandez nabbed two touchdowns. In the end however, it just wasn't enough, as the Pogiboys went down 84-86, to their longtime post-season nemesis. Maybe next year Alvin!

Over on the other side, the Jedi Knights just needed a few points from Wes Welker and Patriots defense to fend off a pesky Ann Arbor Bamfers squad. However, the points just weren't coming. The defense was doing their part, keeping Houston bottled up on the scoreboard, but there weren't a lot of other things happening. Wes Welker was a disappointment. Welker eclipsed 100+ total yards -- but half of those were on kick returns. Too bad, so sad. We told you that this would be a tight game and we were right, as the Jedi Knights were knocked off by the lowly 5-8 Ann Arbor Bamfers -- who featured zeroes from Golden Tate as well as Brent Celek! Victory formation indeed.

Conference Finals:

• Mandalorian Warriors (10-3) vs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)
• Another Bad Creation (7-5-1) vs Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8)

Playoffs: RD 1 Previews

Jedi Knights (10-2-1) vs Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8)
By sneaking into the playoffs with a losing record, Randy's Bamfers have the opportunity to get a huge upset. Are the Jedi Knights quavering in their boots? Not likely, as they have a cool headed Peyton Manning leading the way. Unfortunately, Peyton only scooped up 14 points on Thursday, leaving the door open for younger brother Eli -- captain of the Bamfers -- to engineer a sibling take down. The Bamfers have the stronger ground game too, with Frank Gore and C.J. Spiller leading the way (versus Alfred Morris and Alex Green). However, the Jedis have the superior aerial attack, with Wes Welker and Marques Colston both capable of big games. Overall, the Bamfers haven't gotten more than 77+ points since WK7 while the Jedis haven't lost since WK6. Prediction: Jedi Knights squeezes by in a close first round game.

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3) vs Italian Stallionz (9-4)
This is the game of the week, featuring the streaking Pooh Bears versus a Stallionz team that has scored 94 points in back-to-back weeks, but that resulted in two losses. Heck, just two weeks ago, J dusted Porta to the tune of 112-94. Will this be the Stallionz time to avenge that loss? The talent is certainly there, as Tom Brady, Stevan Ridley, Reggie Wayne, Demaryius Thomas, and Tony Gonzalez all pretty much all consistent double figure scorers. The problem is, the Cam Newton to Dez Bryant connection has been lethal for the Pooh Bears, and J's team has won seven games in a row, with their two most recent weeks coming in at a 106 point average. Prediction: Pooh Bears are the favorites to take the 2012 Maize and Blue crown. A tough matchup shouldn't slow them down.

Mandalorian Warriors (10-3) vs Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (8-5)
After a dominating regular season, Matt's Warriors are limping a bit into the playoffs, after only scoring 46 points in a loss to Wayne State Tartars in WK13. Mike's Paper Company has been very consistent through the back half of the season, so if the Warriors stumble at all, they could be in for a short post-season run. Losing LeSean McCoy and Rob Gronkowski for the playoffs -- plus an injured Jordy Nelson really hurts the Warriors' all in strategy, but Drew Brees and Roddy White can't possibly have two straight horrible weeks. Can they? If Matt had known he'd be starting Brandon Gibson for a crucial game at flanker three months ago, he might have fainted. For Dunder Mifflin, Tony Romo has been on fire and he'll have Arian Foster and Chris Johnson to balance the attack. Prediction: Upset city. Just kidding Matt! Maybe?

Another Bad Creation (7-5-1) vs MoRRie's Pogiboys (7-4-2)
Back in WK8, these two squads played to a 65-65 standstill. So let's consider this the extra periods to determine who's should have win then. The Pogiboys actually haven't lost since that matchup, and they don't fear anyone with Megatron on-board. However, Josh Freeman has been slumping, and there might not be another double digit scorer aside from rookie Trent Richardson. Luckily, Oliver's team has ice cold Vincent Jackson, up and down Andre Johnson, and franchise QB Aaron Rodgers going through a weak couple of weekends. Basically, both owners will be paying extra close attention to the Detroit-Minnesota matchup this weekend, as Alvin has Calvin Johnson, Mikel Leshoure, and Jason Hanson on his roster. Prediction: Alvin hasn't faced a 100+ point opponent all season, and they are coming off their lone century game from last weekend. That spiritual boost will give them an easy win versus an erratic ABC, who have scored 107-51-111-69-65 in recent weeks.

2012 Final Power Rankings

Playoff Teams

1. Jedi Knights (10-2-1) - Ba Donka Donk Division Champion. Best overall record.
2. Mandalorian Warriors (10-3) - Lebowski Division Champion. Wins H2H vs Pooh Bears.
3. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3) - The Wood Division Champion.
4. Italian Stallionz (9-4) - Next best overall record.
5. Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (8-5) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Pogiboys via Total Points For.
6. MoRRie's Pogiboys (7-4-2) - Voltron Division Champion. Next best overall record.
7. Another Bad Creation (7-5-1) - Next Best overall record.
8. Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Ouroboros via H2H.

Non-Playoff Teams

1. Human Amoebas (6-7) - Next best overall record.
2. Detroit Players (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Ouroboros and Squirtle via Total Points For.
3. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Squirtle via Total Points For.
4. Squirtle Squad (5-8) - Next best overall record.
5. Wayne State Tartars (4-8-1) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak over Cameltoe via Total Points For.
6. Team Cameltoe (4-8-1) - Next best overall record.
7. Rhythm Drive (4-9) - Next best overall record.
8. P Funk All Stars (2-11) - Next best overall record.

2012 Standings