Super Bowl XII

Well well, what started as a water balloon fight between Fockers and Pogiboys early (Fockers were leading big on Saturday), turned into a knife fight later (as Travis Kelce went wild), and then escalated into a tense duel by Monday Night Football as Dez Bryant went mano a mano against the Detroit Lions to determine who would take home the Maize and Blue championship this year. Well, Dez had only one catch and 19 yards early on, but he soon turned it up a notch and eventually gathered four total passes for seventy yards. And had three touchdowns, including a one-handed grab. And threw for a score to boot. In the end, Fockers needed 2.5 points on MNF and got 25, making Super Bowl XII a blowout by the final score, but we all know it was closer than that... A nail biter to the very end!

As we predicted last week, Fockers had the edge across the board but Pogiboys matched Fockers punch for punch. Blake Bortles outscored Andrew Luck. LeSean McCoy wasn’t far behind LeVeon Bell. Sure, Alvin’s Bears defense lost seven points, but Hong’s Dolphins were negative two also. And even though Jimmy Graham and LeGarrette Blount turned in nice games — while DeAndre Hopkins and Demaryius Thomas were both pretty much M.I.A. — the career 27.5 point game from Kelce pushed Pogiboys into the lead come Sunday night. A win would have given Pogiboys their first title, after losing in their lone previous Super Bowl appearance in 2013. Alvin had to be sitting at home, hoping Bryant wouldn’t suit up for Monday night, as he had a large red “Q” next to his name. But alas, we know what happened next…

• #7 Fockers (7-6) def #4 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4), 110.0 - 87.5

For Fockers, it’s been a culmination of a long path for them toward championship status. GM Hong came into the league with a lot of aplomb in 2012, taking over day-to-day operations for Eric. After a season of seasoning, Hong completely took over a struggling Human Amoebas franchise in 2013 — losing records in four of their last five seasons — and went 7-6, 10-3, 5-8, and 7-6 since, with two postseason appearances, one The Wood division title, and two Super Bowl appearances. Impressive stuff. And the cherry on top was this title, which was so poetic because it was in 2015, coming off his first Super Bowl appearance, that Hong pushed all-in for Dez Bryant. Five picks (including two first rounders) and one 5-8 season later, Hong was likely regretting his move. But the fantasy gods reward boldness, and Bryant was the hero of this title story, just one year later.

In fact, master gambler Hong has proven that he’s got the golden touch in many of his moves. There was the trade away of Matthew Stafford — keeping Andrew Luck — that netted him Demaryius Thomas. And then there was the 2013 #1 overall selection of LeVeon Bell, who has been one of the best fantasy players since. Hong assembled so much talent that his Fockers were given the mythical title of “best keeper core” heading into 2015, and it was only that one year dip that prevented them from capturing a title earlier.

We called this year's 7-6 Fockers our potential playoffs dark horse and now they've come through with three brilliant playoff wins and a shiny new ring!!! How about we remove that asterisk now? The Fockers are the no-asterik best team in Maize and Blue, congrats!

As for Morrie’s Pogiboys, the story remains the same: great team but can’t get over the hump. Despite having a load of regular season success over the years — and now two Super Bowl appearances — Alvin keeps getting upended by Another Bad Creation or an upset minded Super Bowl challenger. With four Hoke-A-Mania division titles in the last five years — an astounding ten division titles overall — it’s old hat for Pogi fans to celebrate September through November and then get their dreams crushed in December. If the Cavs and the Cubs can end their title droughts, why can’t Morrie’s team?! Better luck next year Alvin, and we’ll be rooting for your first championship soon.

Toilet Bowl II

#14 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9) vs #16 Shoguns of Harlem (3-10)
In an unexpected romp, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros finally won something in this league, a Toilet Bowl! With two low seeds in the Toilet Bowl Finals, we knew someone in need would emerge with a #1 overall pick — and the second place finisher would get nothing. With another 200+ yard day from Jay Ajayi, and a huge outing by Cameron Meredith, Ouroboros saved their best game of the year for their biggest game of the year, putting up 112 points to defeat Shoguns of Harlem by more than fifty points — and had two players put up zeros to boot. It's been a lost season for Ouroboros, but they had Matt Ryan piloting them the whole way, and now can go home with something in hand. Now they’ll look forward to figuring out with college player to draft next year. Should GM Jon take Gabriel Peppers?!

• #14 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9) def #16 Shoguns of Harlem (3-10), 112 - 57

Shoguns had been solid all Toilet Bowl playoffs, but they misfired during the finals and only had Alshon Jeffery and Justin Tucker go over double digits by Sunday night, and Matt Stafford wasn’t going to make up 60+ points by himself, so this game was all but decided by MNF. Overall, it was a nice run by Mike’s team, but he’ll have to settle for getting the second overall pick either way, as Shoguns were the lowest seed entering this tournament and the only way to improve their draft position would have been to win the Toilet Bowl. Note: Shoguns were the top seed in last year’s Toilet Bowl, but lost in the finals to 100AW Pooh Bears. So should they hope for a third shot at a consolation win? Or can they make it into the playoffs next year?

Super Bowl Preview 2016

#4 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4) vs #7 Fockers (7-6)
We're gonna have a first time champion, as Alvin and Hong both took care of business in the conference finals, defeating their lower seeded opponents. And now the two ex-Funktion members face off in a Super Bowl that will be mostly determined on Christmas Day! Who's going to receive a lump of coal and who's going to get a shiny new ring!? (Everyone paid up their dues yet?) Let's go to the tale of the tape...

QB: It’s Andrew Luck versus Blake Bortles, which on paper sounds like one of the biggest mismatches in championship game history. And while Bortles has only topped double digits in one of his last three games, it’s not like Luck has been overly spectacular recently, with only 16 and 18 points in his last two outings. Still, Luck versus Bortles is no competition. (Is there a chance Pogi rolls the dice with Robert Griffin III?!) EDGE: Fockers

RB: Once upon a time, Alvin’s team had Eddie Lacy as his lead back, but now his running game relies on a rejuvenated LeSean McCoy and um, not much else. Duke Johnson will likely get the start but he’s basically a five point guy, unless he can sneak in a touchdown. Fockers features two top ten backs in LeVeon Bell and LeGarrette Blount. Both are locks for double figures and there’s no telling what Bell is capable of on a week by week basis. Even with McCoy cancelling out a big day by Bell, Blount versus Johnson is a win for Hong’s backfield. EDGE: Fockers

WR: Again, on paper this is a no brainer: Dez Bryant and Demaryius Thomas versus DeAndre Hopkins and Chris Hogan (or possibly John Brown or Sammie Coates). Alvin will have to choose which secondary receiver he’d like to gamble with, while Hong will have the luxury of two #1WRs to just leave in his lineup. Dez and Demaryius face tough defenses but that shouldn’t prevent them from outscoring Hopkins and whoever lines up next to him. Also, Dez plays on Monday Night, which could have big implications if this game gets tight...  EDGE: Fockers

TE: Now we’ve got a real competition! Travis Kelce has really come on recently, with four great games in his last five — all 100+ yard efforts — while Jimmy Graham has been erratic at best. The top end for both of these guys may be similar but Kelce has demonstrated a lot more consistency and explosiveness to close the season. Could a tight end lead Alvin to the promised land? He may have to count on it! EDGE: Pogiboys

DEF: While Pogi’s Bears defense has put up some nice games recently, they’re going to be facing off against an explosive Washington offense at just the wrong time. There’s a possibility that these Bears could even pull of a negative score, which they’ve done in three straight weeks, WK10-12. On the other hand, Fockers’ Dolphins defense is coming off two good weeks, and face a Bills team in snowy Buffalo that could keep the score low, giving the Dolphins at least a respectable fantasy score at the end of the day. EDGE: Fockers

K: To be honest, both kickers could be better here, as Hong’s insistence on holding onto a Chargers kicker, Josh Lambo, has resulted in only about four points per game in the last month. Lambo should have been replaced weeks ago. But it’s not like Dan Carpenter has been incredible either, although he seems at least capable of reaching 8-9 points this week. EDGE: Pogiboys

Prediction: Despite being the lower seed, Fockers is the heavy favorite here, with an edge in every key position, save tight end. Fockers are in the best position to grab their first title, and aside from a mega-flop from the Bell and Blount combo, we’re looking at an easy double digit win and champagne in the OC by Sunday night. Let’s just hope there’s no blog curse….

2016 RD2: Upsets-ville

What a week, as nearly every top seed — minus Pogiboys, who was barely a home team — won their matchups in upsets that rocked the post-season! Let’s take a look at which of these underdogs could be on their way to the Super Bowl!

#4 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4) vs #6 Another Bad Creation (8-5)
By the time Chris Hogan hit MNF, Alvin had already wrapped up his upset win, behind LeSean McCoy and Blake Bortles. Now they’ll face off against our defending champs, who sleepwalked through a 55-32.5 win versus P Funk All Stars. With that dirty week off the board, ABC will need more heroics from last year's playoff MVP, Kirk Cousins, to lead the way. Or will the only top seed left in the tournament -- and winner of four straight -- Pogiboys dish out enough firepower against a ABC team that hasn’t gone over 67 points in two weeks. A playoff win here would be nice for Alvin, as ABC has eliminated Pogiboys in the first round in 2012 and 2015.

#7 Fockers (7-6) vs #8 Detroit Players (7-6)
The Fockers blasted #2 seed Sweep The Leg Zabka by over thirty points behind LeVeon Bell’s 49 big ones. Detroit Players meanwhile, escaped a matchup with 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears behind Breshad Perriman’s 6.5 point MNF effort, securing a tight three point victory. Which of these 7-6 teams will move onto the Super Bowl? The big names are all on Hong’s side — Bell, Andrew Luck, Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Demaryius Thomas — but there’s always a chance that Jameis Winston can produce a miracle upset, but he’ll need Jeremy Hill to continue his strong running efforts. The Players haven’t had much playoff success since 2008 — when they won the title — but with a long awaited post-season win under their belts, they could be gaining momentum for another ring.

Toilet Bowl RD2 Matchups [Edit: Corrected 12/18/16]
#10 Mandalorian Warriors (6-7) vs #16 Shoguns of Harlem (3-10)
#12 Squirtle Squad (4-9) vs #14 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)

Playoff Matchups 2016

Half of our eight playoff teams are returning from last year, and three of them are former champs. Who will win it all this year?!

#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3) vs #8 Detroit Players (7-6)
Pooh Bears took a title three years ago and after two years out of the postseason, are poised to do it again. As the only team to average over 100+ per game — 105.8 ppg to be exact — Pooh Bears have the power running duo of David Johnson and Ezekiel Elliot, as well as Cam Newton tossing the rock to Antonio Brown and Mike Evans. It’ll be next to impossible for Detroit Players to pull an upset here, as they enter the playoffs with a negative PF/PA number — and no AJ Green. However, by winning four of their last five games, Players should just be be happy to be here. A #8-1 upset would be mighty sweet though!

#2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-4) vs #7 Fockers (7-6)
After entering the league in 2014, Zabka has made three straight post-season trips, and was the Super Bowl runner-up last year. They had a seven game winning streak — before a dud in WK13 — and have the suddenly good Latavius Murray to bolster the run game next to Drew Brees, Odell Beckham, and Jamison Crowder — although losing Rob Gronkowski hurts them. The Fockers have a recent Super Bowl appearance of their own, two years ago, and are dangerous with three wins -- all 100+ games -- in their last four matchups. Andrew Luck, LeVeon Bell, and Dez Bryant are a formidable trio, and this team also features LeGarrette Blount, Demaryius Thomas, and Jimmy Graham for additional depth. Is this our playoffs dark horse?

#3 P Funk All Stars (9-4) vs #6 Another Bad Creation (8-5)
A 7-2 start slid into a 2-2 finish, but P Funk has been steady all year behind the Derek Carr and Amari Cooper combo, and took The Knights Who Say Ni division title. With literally no running game — starter Darren Sproles is basically a receiver — Cooper will have to be joined by DeVante Parker and Donte Moncrief on the scoreboard to power this team to playoff success. (Another home team with a great road record, 5-0, versus a so-so home record, just 4-4.) While ABC couldn’t capture another division title, they still have a shot to go back-to-back. While they seem a bit underpowered on paper. Kirk Cousins proved his championship season last year was no fluke and he’s got the explosive Terrelle Pryor and Michael Thomas to throw to — where did Stefon Diggs and Jordan Reed fade off to? It’ll have to be a true team effort for Another Bad Creation to defend their title.

#4 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4) vs #5 Ann Arbor Bamfers (9-4)
A thrilling WK13 matchup determined the Big House division title this year, as LeSean McCoy and Bears DST held off Bamfer’s Golden Tate and Melvin Gordon. And now these team will have an immediate matchup to determine who moves onto the next round. The slight edge might go to the underdog Bamfers actually, as Philip Rivers and Gordon are a nice combo, as Pogiboys has Blake Bortles at the helm…of the Titanic (or do they roll the dice with Robert Griffin?!). The key matchup may be Travis Kelce versus Delanie Walker at the tight end position. After missing the playoffs for the past two years, a first round win would sure be nice for Randy’s team.

Toilet Bowl Matchups 2016

Last year, 100 Wood Pooh Bears won our first ever Toilet Bowl, and drafted Ezekiel Elliot, and now they're the number seed in the playoffs. Coincidence?! I think not. So who will be the lucky winner of our Toilet Bowl II? Let's find out!

#9 Italion Stallionz (6-7) vs #16 Shoguns of Harlem (3-10)
After finishing one game out of a playoff spot, Stallionz is the favorite to win the Toilet Bowl. Unfortunately, they have a better away versus home record this season and host the last place Shoguns. The good news is they have Marcus Mariota, a surging Devonta Freeman, and emergent Tyreek Hill on their side. If the Shoguns are going to pull an upset after recording the fewest wins in MnB this year, they’ll need more than just Matthew Stafford to lead them there. After a seven game winning streak, they got a nice win in WK13 versus a winning team, but can they do it again in the Toilet Bowl?

#10 Mandalorian Warriors (6-7) vs #15 Original Salt (4-9)
Another home field advantage team who had a horrible home record. The Warriors accrued only one home win season, so while they have the “advantage” in their first Toilet Bowl appearance, they are spiraling downward, having lost four of their last five games. Warriors will need big weeks from Aaron Rodgers, DeMarco Murray, and Julian Edelman to stay afloat. Call it a grudge match, but Warriors called out the Original Salt franchise mid-season for mismanagement so this will be a good chance for coach Reno to punch back. Then again, with a league low average of 66.9 points per game, Salt isn’t exactly a powerhouse despite going 3-2 down the stretch…

#11 Team Cameltoe (5-8) vs #14 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)
An even 4-5 start gave way to 1-3 down the stretch, leaving Cameltoe out of the playoffs. They are the rare Toilet Bowl team to have a positive PF/PA breakdown, and have the three J’s — Julio Jones, Jordy Nelson, Jordan Howard — ready to grab a victory. And it’s not like Hungry Ouroboros can put up much of a challenge, as they’ve found it hard to find consistency with five players hitting IR this season and only the happy lights of Matt Ryan and Dak Prescott to lead the way. Also, you can only start one QB… The only good news for Ouroboros all season has been the emergence of Rishard Matthews, who has been the #8 WR since WK5.

#12 Squirtle Squad (4-9) vs #13 Jedi Knights (4-9)
The Squirtles haven’t had a winning season since 2009 and they finished 1-4 to crash near the bottom of the league yet again. [Edit: they actually went 10-2-1 last season and won The Wood division last season. Whoops!] One man can’t make a team, and even if that one man is Tom Brady, Squirtles could face an early exit if someone else doesn’t step up this week — sad face to the IR seasons by Adrian Peterson and Keenan Allen. Lum decided to welcome in Star Wars Rogue One by going 1-7 down the stretch after a 3-2 start -- at one point they were leading their division in scoring too. "This is a rebellion, isn't it? I rebel lose.” With a leaky defense and only TY Hilton providing any sort of consistency, Jedi Knights will need a huge week from Eli Manning to have a shot at victory.

Power Rankings 2016

Playoff Teams
1. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3) - Ohana Division Champion. Best Overall Record
2. Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-4) - Green and White Division Champion. Next Best Overall Record. Wins tiebreak over P-Funk and Pogiboys via Most Points Scored.
3. P Funk All Stars (9-4) - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champion. Wins tiebreak over Pogiboys via H2H.
4. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4) - The Big House Division Champion. Wins division tiebreak over Bamfers via Best Division Record.
5. Ann Arbor Bamfers (9-4) - Next Best Overall Record
6. Another Bad Creation (8-5) - Next Best Overall Record
7. * Fockers (7-6) - Next Best Overall Record. Wins tiebreak over Players via H2H
8. Detroit Players (7-6) - Next Best Overall Record

Non-Playoff Teams
9. Italian Stallionz (6-7) - Next Best Overall Record. Wins tiebreak over Warriors via H2H
10. Mandalorian Warriors (6-7) - Next Best Overall Record.
11. Team Cameltoe (5- - Next Best Overall Record
12. Squirtle Squad (4-9) - Next Best Overall Record. Wins tiebreak over Jedi/Salt/Ouroboros via common winning % (among the 4)
13. Jedi Knights (4-9) - Next Best Overall Record. Wins tiebreak over Salt/Ouroboros via common winning % (among the 3)
14. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9) - Next Best Overall Record. Wins tiebreak over Salt via H2H
15. Original Salt (4-9) - Next Best Overall Record
16. Shoguns of Harlem (3-10) - Next Best Overall Record

2016 Standings

Full Standings

Mid-Season: Green and White

One of our two 2015 Super Bowl contestants came from this division, with three total playoff teams to boot. Still, the two titles from here both come from Detroit Players, and those were long ago. Still, all three top teams here have a chance to return to the post-season again, which would be quite something. Let’s evaluate their chances! [2015 Mid-Season]

Sweep the Leg Zabka (6-3)
After suffering an upset Super Bowl defeat, Alan went back home, licked his wounds, and came right back this season to emerge as a contender once again. Buoyed by an astounding 168.5 WK6, Zabka is the second highest scoring team in the league, riding a four game win streak, and clearly firing on all cylinders behind offseason trade acquisition Drew Brees (for Ryan Tannehill and Rashad Jennings!), Odell Beckham, Rob Gronkowski, and Kelvin Benjamin. That receiving core would be even better if Sammy Watkins hadn’t been injured and MIA most of the season.

The only thing slowing Zabka a little bit so far has been its run game, which has had 2016 first round pick Matt Jones and Latavius Murray dealing with injuries, forcing a platoon with the recently picked up Jonathan Stewart, as well as Terrance West. Two of those four should emerge as the season goes along, and with that nasty passing attack only getting better as the season goes along, these Spartans are looking for a return trip to the title game.

Mandalorian Warriors (5-4)
As Brees’ old team, and the team Zabka bounced in last year’s playoffs, Mandalorian Warriors are looking for some postseason revenge of their own. Of course, after starting off 4-1, they’ll have to right the ship as they’ve slid to just one win their last four matchups. With one more month to go in the regular season, a division title is still within reach, but Warriors will have to work for it. Especially since they’ve faced the toughest schedule in the league so far, at a whopping 96.5 PA average.

GM Matt had a hell of a draft, grabbing DeMarco Murray in RD2 and Christine Michael in RD3. With Murray returning to fantasy prominence, the ground game for Warriors is back! And despite Aaron Rodgers’ real life struggles, he’s still the #4 ranked quarterback around. He’s got Larry Fitzgerald in the slot, Mike Wallace going deep, TE Zach Miller showing his stuff, and hopefully some more catches for Julian Edelman coming up for the rest of the season. If everyone can get on-board for just a few more games, Warriors will likely get their change to avenge last season’s playoff loss.

Detroit Players (4-5)
Despite being the lowest scoring team in the division, Players are within shot of a wild card spot, and possibly even more, although their inconsistency betrays them. They can’t seem to get a back-to-back win, and they’ll need to string together at least one of those as the weeks go on. Better quarterback play would help, as Jameis Winston and rookie Carson Wentz have both been so-so options, although Winston could be coming on.

This team is currently led by its receivers, as AJ Green and Jarvis Landry are a nice one-two punch. With Green having a fantastic year and carrying this team on his back. The running attack has been entirely boom and bust, with Mark Ingram and Jeremy Hill taking turns going loud and then all quiet — plus the preseason loss of Dion Lewis. A better tight end than Zach Ertz could help too, although that may be hoping for too much. But if Ariel wants to bring his team into the playoffs, he’ll need to find some firepower down the stretch, and hope all his guns can start firing at once.

Shoguns of Harlem (2-7)
Last year, Shoguns went 6-7, the only Green and White team to not finish at least 0.500. But they came close to a Toilet Bowl victory... However, this year, it looks like six wins will be entirely out of the question for them as they’ve already equaled their losses from last season. Remember just two years ago when Shoguns won this division? Nope, us neither. Past success doesn’t help much when you’re riding a four game losing streak, with no end in sight and a hell of a divisional month to get through — plus a WK10 matchup with 7-2 Bamfers.

Aside from some nice early games from Matthew Stafford and Kyle Rudolph, this team has been hurting for anyone to step up. Alshon Jeffery has caught just one TD on the season, Jeremy Maclin and Travis Benjamin have been here and there, and Shoguns’ leading rusher, Bilal Powell, has only topped double digits twice so far. Rookie Derrick Henry hasn’t worked out, Arian Foster is injured (of course), and now it’s down to Seahawks rookie CJ Prosise, who might be just a third-string back on his own team. At least Case Keenum is getting a bye week start! Whoof, this team is bad, and they’ll have to hope for another good Toilet Bowl showing to save the season. Sorry Mike, but good luck in the cellar competition this year!

Mid-Season: The Big House

Last season, the Big House division teams started off a combined 14-6 in five weeks — featuring an undefeated team and two 4-1 squads —  before having their bottom two teams finish at 5-8. Still, they sent two strong teams to the playoffs -- although neither made the Super Bowl. Let's see where The Big House is in 2016! [2015 Mid-Season]

Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-2)
The Bamfers only won five games last year and got bounced in the Toilet Bowl pretty quickly. This year, they’re one of the best teams in the league and are charging hard for a long awaited division title. Helped along by playing the softest schedule in the league — opponents are averaging only 63.7 ppg — Randy’s team is on a three game win streak and just put up 124.5 points in WK9. They’ve ridden the Chargers combo of Philip Rivers and Melvin Gordon (the top ranked RB this year) to much success and has the resurrected soul of Frank Gore playing fantastic football.

While dual first round picks Josh Doctson (lost to injury) and Michael Floyd have been mostly disappointments, Golden Tate has emerged from an early season slump to climb back up the receiver rankings. And it looks like Delanie Walker has edged Marcellus Bennett at tight end, or maybe Bamfers will go with a double TE set for the rest of the year. With only a month left in the regular season, Bamfers face a WK13 matchup with Pogiboys, possibly to determine the division leader. Either way, this team is headed to the playoffs!

Morrie’s Pogiboys (6-3)
Last year, the top ranked 11-2 Pogiboys were upset in the first round of the playoffs by eventual champs Another Bad Creation, so they’re looking for a revenge season. They got it, sort of, with a 116.5-112.5 victory over ABC in WK8, but they’re definitely looking for more than regular season success. Unfortunately, this team just isn’t quite as good as last year, as Eddie Lacy has been an injured and ineffective mess, and DeAndre Hopkins can’t quite find his WR1 footing. At least LeSean McCoy has been playing well, and should have a bye week to return to full health.

Blake Bortles has been Alvin’s go-to signal caller and he’s actually been not too bad. His receiving core is a bit inconsistent though, with the aforementioned Hopkins, John Brown, Quincy Enunwa, and taking turns going boom/bust. At least Travis Kelce and his new dating show proven to be a top five TE option. Moving forward, Pogiboys will have to hope McCoy comes back to health, Bortles keeps Bortles-ing, and maybe Theo Roddick emerges as a solid option. We foresee Alvin making the playoffs again, but in less dominating fashion than last year.

Team Cameltoe (4-5)
Our newest sixteen team basketball owner, over in SlamNation, proved his fantasy worth with a 10-3 season last year, before getting upset by ABC in the conference finals. As of now, they’re two games out of a playoff spot, and will really need to step it up to get into the postseason, otherwise it’ll be all NBA for Felipe soon! The good news is that a 1-4 start has led into a 3-1 past month, and the signs are there for a good last four weeks of the season for Cameltoe.

Julio Jones has been a fantasy monster, and Jordy Nelson returned from injury to post excellent numbers most of the time. This team has been led by Jones, Nelson, and CJ Anderson (now out for the season, with Doug Martin basically also on IR) in the scoring column, with a quarterback, Joe Flacco, not showing up until #4 for total points scored. Part of the reason for that is that Flacco has split starts with Russell Wilson and Alex Smith, and a clear leader will need to emerge soon. At least Jordan Howard and Cole Beasley have been nice finds this season, and they’ll need to be even better to help Julio Jones spark this team to a playoff berth.

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (3-6)
After starting off 4-1 last season, Ouroboros collapsed with a five game losing streak and continued their ineptitude by starting off 1-4 this year. Part of the problem this year has been a slew of injuries, especially to the receiving corps, as Kevin White, Eric Decker, and rookie Corey Coleman have all missed significant time. Thus GM Jon has had to scramble to replace them with free agents (Cameron Meredith, Richard Matthews), one trade (Colby Fleener for Sterling Shepard), and a whole lot of lineup adjusting.

There have been some bright spots though, as Matt Ryan has been the top player in fantasy this year — and rookie Dak Prescott lurks on the bench as a top ten QB option. Running back Jay Ajayi has exploded the past three weeks, and he’s the new franchise back, taking over for the disappointing Todd Gurley. In theory Ajayi, Gurley, and Giovani Bernard are a decent running game, but it hasn't translated to the scoreboard as Ajayi was on the bench for both of his 200+ yard games. Also, mid-season highlight, rookie Hunter Henry is now injured, leaving a hole at TE. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros is clearly out of the postseason running, but maybe they can ride Ryan and Ajayi to make some noise in the Toilet Bowl. Maybe.

Mid-Season: The Knights Who Say Ni

In our second mid-season look, we take a look at The Knights Who Say Ni, home to our last two title winners! [2015 Mid-Season]

Another Bad Creation (5-2)
Our defending champs are poised atop the division and in a good place to defend their title. They haven’t exactly been doing it in grand style though, as they seem to be playing down to the level of their competition quite often, and have faced one of the easier schedules in the league so far. Still, with only three winning teams left on the schedule, a postseason spot should be within easy reach for them.

Playoff hero Kirk Cousins again leads this team in scoring, and he’s relied on Jordan Reed and Stefon Diggs to generate a passing game — to hit-and-miss results. The actual best receivers on this team have more likely been Michael Thomas and Terrelle Pryor, who have been much steadier, albeit slower to get into ABC’s lineup. The big question for ABC seems to be at running back, where TJ Yeldon and Jeremy Langford has floundered. Perhaps two good weeks from Jacquizz Rodgers will be enough to steady the backfield, but it’ll be hard for ABC to advance far if Rodgers suddenly takes a dive. Can the champs repeat? I guess we’ll find out soon!

P Funk All Stars (5-2)
Having already doubled last year’s win total, and then some, P Funk started the season 3-1 and is suddenly in contention for a playoff spot. The David Carr to Amari Cooper connection has been fruitful so far, although Carr has been slipping a bit recently. At least Tavon Austin has finally figured out how to use his multiple talents in a big way, and is third on this team in scoring. The problem is, DeVante Parker hasn’t really lived up to preseason hype, and there’s also been a hole at running back.

The good news is, James White has been picking up steam ever since Tom Brady returned, and he’ll likely take the starting gig from Ryan Mathews and Darren Sproles, neither of whom can find much consistency. 2016 #2 overall pick Laquon Treadwell has been an absolute non-factor — as is Ameer Abdullah, who is back on IR — but P Funk can afford to wait on him. Paolo’s team has a two game lead on any wild card chase, so should get into the postseason, but he’ll need his Raiders twosome to step it up over the back half of the season.

Jedi Knights (3-4)
As the top scoring team in the division, Jedi should have more than three wins. However, they’ve been pounded by one of the tougher schedules in the league, and actually have a higher PA than PF. WK7’s 1.5 point loss to P Funk dropped them behind in the division chase and now they’ll have to play catch up. Still, last year’s division winner shouldn’t be counted out as there’s still hope yet.

Interestingly, this is one of the few teams not led in points by a quarterback. Eli Manning has been erratic all season so it’s TY Hilton who have led this team in points. Even TE Greg Olsen, who has been simply amazing, outranks Manning in total points scored. Emmanuel Sanders has been perfect as a third receiver and he’s been a steady source of catches and yards. The run game though, is troubled. Danny Woodhead was lost for the season early on, and although Matt Asiata has been better recently, 55 yard weeks aren’t likely to move the needle much. If Chris Washington can take over in the backfield for the Redskins, that would really help out the Knights’ playoff chances. Strangely, Marshawn Lynch is still on this roster. Does Chris know something we don’t about Beast Mode’s (un)retirement plans?

Original Salt (1-6)
Our 2014 champions are back in the cellar. After accruing just three wins last year, it’s possible Original Salt doesn’t even get there this season. They’re averaging a league worst 59.9 ppg, and their lone win came against one of the other worst teams in the league. With Ben Roethlisberger hitting the sidelines for awhile, Reno’s team can book a suite for the Toilet Bowl right now. Also confusing, why did 2016 #3 overall pick, Jonathan Stewart, get cut three weeks ago, and just returned to the field last week for two touchdowns?

There are a few bright spots for this team though. Old hand Anquan Boldin has been better than excited, while Matt Forte started off the season very hot. And now Spencer Ware seems to have taken charge of the backfield in Kansas City, and has put up excellent numbers recently. Plus, there’s a chance Isaiah Crowell will serve as a nice RB2 down the stretch, giving OS a good running game. Beyond those guys though, there’s not a whole lot to look forward to the rest of the way. Maybe if Big Ben can return soon, OS will vie for a Toilet Bowl win and a number one overall pick?

Mid-Season: Ohana

It's just about halfway through 2016 already, so let's take a look at our divisions one-by-one, and week-by-week. We'll start with the Ohana division, which still remains the toughest division around! [2015 Mid-Season]

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (4-2)
Leading the league in scoring at 103.25 points per, J and Jayvee’s team is riding last season’s playoff breakout, David Johnson, and 2016 #1 pick Ezekiel Elliot to pole position in Ohana division. After last year’s disappointing 6-7 campaign, Pooh Bears are headed straight back to the top again. Aside from the wonderful running duo, this team also features Antonio Brown and a fleet of hit-and-miss wides doing intriguing things: Brandin Cooks, Mike Evans, Doug Baldwin, Marvin Jones, and Sterling Shepard.

The on-field leader on the team has changed, from Carson Palmer to Cam Newton, but that should be fine, even if Newton isn’t exactly on last year's MVP form. The only weakness for this team so far has been at TE, where Antonio Gates has been injured and overtaken by his understudy in San Diego. We’re not anticipating any slowdown from here till the postseason for Pooh Bears, and another championship is squarely in their sights.

Fockers (3-3)
Hong’s team stumbled out of the gates 2-6 last year and ended up flailing around in the Toilet Bowl. Now they are back into division contention, despite the inability of Dez Bryant to return to the field. Fueling their attack is a return to form by Andrew Luck, and the ground game of LeGarrette Blount and the freshly returned LeVeon Bell. As they wait for Bryant, Demaryius Thomas has been okay leading this team, even as his fantasy dominant days are likely over. The good news for Fockers is that Jimmy Graham has finally become his old self with the Seahawks, and is a top flight tight end option once again. With injuries dotting his bench, GM Hong could look to field a better defense and kicker too, and then he could use the second half of the season to lock up a postseason appearance. Long live Fockers!

Italian Stallionz (3-3)
Well, getting blasted by 168.5 points last week surely didn’t help Stallionz Points Against numbers, but WK6 was an aberration, as Porta’s team has mostly faced a soft schedule. Their three wins have come on sub-75 point weeks from their opponent. Unfortunately, once the opposing team hits 90+ points, it’s good night for Stallionz. Still, they are at 3-3 and squarely in the playoff mix. After finishing 5-8 last year, that’s good news.

Marcus Mariota has solidified himself as a top ten quarterback, even though he is still very irregular. The surprise of the year has to be Michael Crabtree, who has found the fountain of youth in Oakland and has been great so far this season. Add in the Falcons’ duo of Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman in the backfield, operating for the number one offense in the NFL, and Porta is in decent shape. If Brandon Marshall can stay hot, and new tight end Jack Doyle finds some more consistency, the outlines of a competitive team are here. Stallionz need to take it up a notch for the rest of the season to insure a smooth ride to the playoffs.

Squirtle Squad (2-4)
Our defending division champs stumbled out of the gates winless in three games, and things were looking bleak.  Injuries decimated this team early, as Keenan Allen and Adrian Peterson were both lost for the season. Fortunately, Tom Brady is back! He’ll replace Tyrod Taylor and that will be a major upgrade for this offense, obviously. Along with that, Lamar Miller and Randall Cobb are showing signs of life and if they can kick it into gear, Squirtles could rise quickly.

Of course, GM Brian will need to work the waiver wire to find some other parts, as this entire bench is full of red injury statuses. Rookie Will Fuller was looking great for a few weeks, but has fallen behind Allen Robinson on the Squirtles depth chart. In a competitive division, will Tom Terrific be enough to pilot this team back to the postseason after getting knocked out of the first round last year?

Draft Review 2016

In years past we’ve gone for a five round review, quite a few four round reviews, but this time around we’re gonna do just three rounds due to time constraints!

ROUND ONE
To start things off, we go with two time champs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears, who had an astonishing four first rounders this season, including the #1 overall after winning MnB’s inaugural Toilet Bowl. He nabbed inarguably the most coveted rookie running back in recent memory in Ezekiel Elliot (1.1) and then possibly got the best first-year receiver Sterling Shepard (1.6) too. With picks 1.12 and 1.14, he scooped up Antonio Gates and last year’s breakout Doug Baldwin. That’s quite the haul. Considering last year’s three first round selections turned up Duke Johnson, Charles Johnson, and Chris Ivory, we can expect at least one or two keepers to emerge from 100AW Pooh Bear’s 2016 draft class.

The only other team with two first-rounders was Ann Arbor Bamfers, who shored up their passing attack with rookie Josh Doctson (1.4) and Michael Floyd (1.10). Both could emerge as quality keepers, competing with holdover Golden Tate for the starting receiver slots. And rookie wides were hot selections on draft day, as P Funk All Stars opted for Minnesota’s Laquon Treadwell as the first receiver off the board, followed by Doctson, Corey Coleman (1.5, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros), and Shepard all within the first six picks. It’s likely that some of these guys will bust but it’s clear that this year’s rookie RBs were underwhelming.

Still, Italian Stallionz and Shoguns of Harlem are expecting big things from rookies Devontae Booker (1.7) and Derrick Henry (1.8) respectively, as both have the potential to get lots of touches this year. I guess Porta just needed another Devonta(e) to replace the one he just traded... Big body Derrick Henry could be pressed for duty soon, as Arian Foster is brittle and well, brittle.

Last year, Original Salt came in second-to-last overall in the regular season and their prize is Jonathan Stewart (1.3), who hasn’t played a full season since, well, maybe ever? Will Reno regret not aiming for a younger back with more upside? Time will tell.

The rest of the draft looked like this: Defending champ Another Bad Creation nabbed Jordan Mathews (1.9), Detroit Players took the just injured Dion Lewis (1.11), while last year’s Super Bowl runner-up Sweep the Leg got Matt Jones (1.13), and MoRRie’s Pogiboys watched one-time franchise leader Tom Brady (1.15) go to Squirtle Squad one pick before him, enabling him to clean up the first round with Duke Johnson (1.16).

Teams left out of the first round: Jedi Knights, Team Cameltoe, Fockers, and Mandalorian Warriors.

ROUND TWO
If you were in the market for a starting quarterback — or maybe were on auto-draft — Round Two was your round as Ben Roethlisberger (2.2), Carson Palmer (2.7), Kirk Cousins (2.9), Paxton Lynch (2.11), and Tyrod Taylor (2.15) all went off the board. That sets up quarterback battles for Original Salt (Roethlisberger vs Teddy Bridgewater), Detroit Players (Lynch vs James Winston, last year’s RD2 selection), and Squirtle Squad (Taylor vs Brady, post-suspension). Kirk Cousins will serve as Another Bad Creation’s lead guy again after not being kept despite winning a title last year — although 5.9 selection Jay Cutler may have something to say about that. Curiously, Pooh Bears already have Cam Newton on-board but drafted Carson Palmer pretty high too. Better safe than sorry?

We like Mandalorian Warriors taking DeMarco Murray (2.6) and Willie Snead (2.14) for their two selections, and either or both could have keeper worthy seasons. And in no surprise, TE lover Fockers took Jimmy Graham (2.5) with his first 2016 selection, replacing Gates as his long-beloved.

Retread busts from last year went aplenty in this round too, with Ryan Mathews (2.1), Jay Ajayi (2.4), the aforementioned Murray, Ameer Abdullah (2.10), and Rashad Jennings (2.13). All of these guys were deemed high upside at one point last season but now have had reality set in a bit. Here’s hoping one or two of them push back into the spotlight. Abdullah especially, could be salty after being drafted fourth overall by hometown Detroit Players last season, and then unceremoniously dumped.

Second year receiver Sammie Coates (2.16) could be poised for a breakout, operating in a talent Steelers offense, at least that’s what Pogiboys is hoping. Similarly, Original Salt is hoping Marvin Jones (2.3) is the receiver that takes up the Megatron slack in Detroit, and not Golden Tate. The lone rookie receiver to be taken in RD2 was Tyler Boyd, by Shoguns at 2.12. Last year’s RD2 saw a lot of veteran receivers taken, but this year RD2 was mostly about upside!

ROUND THREE
We didn’t see any DSTs picked until RD4 last season but P Funk All Stars immediately grabbed Panthers with 3.1, setting up Seahawks at 3.3 (Ann Arbor Bamfers), Cardinals (3.12), and Broncos at 3.16 (Italian Stallionz). Four defenses outnumbered the number of running backs drafted in this round, as Original Salt ended up with Charles Sims (3.2), Hungry Ouroboros took rookie DeAndre Washington (3.4), and Warriors grabbed Christine Michael (3.10) hoping he emerges as Beast Mode’s replacement. Totally unbiased but we think Washington is the clear winner here. Ahem.

As for oldie receivers, here are new Raider Michael Crabtree (3.6, Stallionz), DeSean Jackson (3.7, 100AW), and TE Dwayne Allen (3.15, Squirtle). While all could produce, we much prefer the selections of young’uns like Travis Benjamin (Shoguns), Michael Thomas (ABC), and Tajae Sharp (Players). Why not swing for upside this early? Then again, the boom-bust potential of young receivers is scary.

Fockers took Brock Osweiler (3.5) to carry Andrew Luck’s game day book, Sweep the Leg will use Ryan Tannehill (3.13) to motivate Andy Dalton, and auto-draft Joe Flacco (3.14) gets the honor of being Team Cameltoe’s first 2016 selection, and can look forward to bye week action when Russell Wilson sits down. Also, shout out to Jedi Knights, who incredibly didn’t have a pick in the 2016 draft until RD5, which ended up being Mohamed Sanu at 5.12.

Note: Unverified reports are that Knights have moved 2016 RD2, 2017 RD1 & 2, 2018 RD1 & 2 & 4, and firsts from 2019, 2020, and 2021 for Shane Vereen, Marshawn Lynch, and Eli Manning. Somebody get in a time machine and take those trades back!

Let’s congratulate us all on a very speedy and efficient draft. The best decision Alvin ever made was to use CBS to draft for the league, as that implemented hard timers and gave us all a wonderful draft experience. Also, thanks to Alvin for doing all the hard work inputting keepers and draft trades. It’s a part time job, trust me!

Also, last year we saw some major in-draft bombshells but this year was a little quieter, minus a move for Eli Manning, plus the exchange of Devonta Freeman and Allen Hurns for DeAndre Hopkins and a 2018 RD2. Wait, that's a huge trade! We'll get into that later....