Super Bowl XI

Another year, another 6-7 team takes the title! Last year’s winners, Original Salt, went from losing his last five games of the regular season to a clean sweep of the 2014 championship. This year’s run from Another Bad Creation might be even more impressive. I mean, how many teams start their championship year by offloading Marshawn Lynch and LeSean McCoy during the draft? And then halfway through the season, while struggling and likely out of the playoffs, trade away Aaron Rodgers? That's their top three keepers from 2015!

• #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5), 95.0 - 77.5

The decision to move Rodgers turned out to be a great one, as he only topped twenty points one time in his last six outings, and put up 18-10-7 pts in the fantasy playoffs. After a fling with Alex Smith, ABC stood by Kirk Cousins and was rewarded with 21-35-32 pts games during the postseason run. And well, McCoy and Lynch would have both been unavailable of the Super Bowl, as well as basically having terrible down seasons. Lynch has been out since WK10 and McCoy struggled with injuries all season long as well. So yeah, good riddance!

So how did ABC upset three opponents on the way to their third title of the modern era -(as defined by how far back I’ve tracked on this blog)? Shockingly, the team MVP this year has been Jordan Reed, tight end extraordinaire, who piled up 22.5 - 23.5 - 28.5 pts weeks, and had ABC’s third most points scored on the season. Number one on that list? Rookie running back TJ Yeldon, who didn’t even suit up for the title game due to injury. If you look at ABC’s top scorers on the season, only Reed and Cousins even appear, with Vincent Jackson also taking a seat during championship week.

If we’re looking for additional championship heroes, we have to turn to Patriots DST and Chandler Catanzaro, Arizona’s kicker. The Patriots were huge with 15 and 18 points the first two weeks of the playoffs, especially in the conference finals which featured a margin of only 7.5 points. Catanzaro has been good all season and his steady kicking helped push ABC over the top. We’d love to say that there was more but it was basically the Redskins' passing duo, a tough defense, and some nice kicking that took ABC to an improbable championship.

Oliver will celebrate hard and then go home this summer and count all the draft picks he acquired. By unofficial estimate his haul will include three first rounders for McCoy, three first rounders and a second for Lynch, and a whopping five first rounders (plus he received Cousins) for Rodgers. That’s eleven first rounders and a second, starting from 2016 through 2020. Whew! If this wasn’t a dream season for Oliver, what else could have been better? Congrats on another shiny ring Oliver!

As for Sweep the Leg Zabka, who entered the title game on an eight game win streak after starting off the season 2-7, they were headed for a dream season of their own until the Odell Beckham Jr. suspension for the Super Bowl. That cost Zabka not just their top performer but also hampered his starting quarterback, Eli Manning, pretty dramatically. Without his star receiver, Manning managed only seven points during the title match and that helped seal the deal, despite a heroic effort from Latavius Murray. After talking a lot of smack post 131.5 - 44 beatdown during the conference finals, perhaps sophomore owner Alan got what was coming, a karmic upset by Another Bad Creation.

All that aside, GM Alan has put together an incredible first two seasons in Maize and Blue and still has quite the roster assembled and ready for next season, where they'll likely be strong contenders agin. So thanks to Sweep the Leg Zabka for a thrilling Super Bowl and a great post-season run and a great season for everybody!

Toilet Bowl I

We instituted a whole slew of new rules over the 2015 season, and one of those was the holding of a Toilet Bowl for figuring out the top pick in each year's draft. What seemed like an easy walk in the park, with every top seed advancing past the lower seed, finally flipped in the Toilet Bowl Finals, as Pooh Bears defeated Shoguns of Harlem by a narrow margin. A spirited comeback by Shoguns on MNF fell a little short and it looks like our champs from two years ago will get to pick #1 in the 2016 draft.

• #2 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) def #1 Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) , 86.0 - 82.5

For Jose and Jayvee, whose team stumbled out of the gates 1-5, but managed to go 5-2 down the stretch, along with this Toilet Bowl win, will hopefully get them back into contention next year. They'll have Cam Newton, Antonio Brown, Brandin Cooks (2014's #1 overall), and David Johnson to lead the way and build upon their top keeper core from last year. In fact, it was Johnson and Cooks who almost single/duo-handedly won the Toilet Bowl themselves, combining for 40.0 points. So, congrats to 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears and we're excited to see who they select next season!

As for Shoguns of Harlem, Mike's team it a good go but their list of walking wounded was just too much to overcome. For the Toilet Bowl championship game, Tony Romo, Alshon Jeffery, Tyler Eifert, Thomas Rawls, and Arian Foster (among others) were all sitting on the bench in various states of disrepair. So taking that into account, making the TB Finals after a 0-4 start was a good accomplishment for their season.

TOILET BOWL RD2

• #1 Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) def #4 Fockers (5-8), 93.0 - 90.0
• #2 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) def #3 Italian Stallionz (5-8), 180.0 - 57.0

TOILET BOWL RD1

• #1 Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) def #8 P Funk All Stars (2-11) , 66.5 - 56.5
• #2 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) def #7 Original Salt (3-10), 68.5 - 31.5
• #3 Italian Stallionz (5-8) def #6 Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8), 89.0 - 74.5
• #4 Fockers (5-8) def #5 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (5-8), 82.5 - 81.5

Road to Super Bowl XI

Sorry to have missed the first two rounds of the playoffs, but I blame the Sith! Okay, I haven’t even watched Star Wars yet, but I will soon, right after I do these articles. Let’s take a look at the journey to Super Bowl XI! Over in Eastern Conference, two upsets took Pogiboys and Jedi Knights spinning into the abyss. Both games weren’t very close and Jedi’s higher seed was a technical one, as they had a worse record than Team Cameltoe, who was only a lower seed due to not winning a division.

In fact, lower seeds won all their games in the first round, except Sweep the Leg Zabka edging out Detroit Players. With two #4 seeds in play, plus the rebuilding yet somehow still dangerous Mandalorian Warriors lurking in the West, we headed to round two.

When we got there, ABC upset their way yet again! They took out Cameltoe behind a stiff Patriots defense and TE Jordan Reed having a second 20+ pt game. Cameltoe’s kicker and defense combo netted zero total points and that’s all she wrote for Felipe’s team, despite stellar performances from Russell Wilson, Ted Ginn Jr., and Julio Jones. As for Sweep the Leg Zabka, our confident sophomore year owner took their seven game win streak and added one more by blowing out Mandalorian Warriors by a measly +87.5 points. Ouch. Midseason trade acquisition Aaron Rodgers faltered for Warriors but it wouldn’t have mattered against the explosive days by Sammy Watkins and Chiefs defense.

So here we are, Super Bowl XI with a #2 and #4 seed about to face off. Last year we saw a low seed streak their way to a championship and it would be sort of exciting to see Another Bad Creation duplicate those efforts behind a 7-2 record since WK7, including five straight wins heading into the big game. Then again, wouldn’t it be cool to see a new owner rebuild their team in just two years and take the ring home? Keep in mind, Odell Beckham Jr. probably won't be able to suit up for Zabka, and that could be the difference in this title matchup!

Note: And let’s talk about that midseason trade some more, well actually, let’s talk about all of ABC’s trades, which was supposed to have them in pure rebuilding mode this season. Yeah, we said this when they were 4-7: "Unless ABC can win out, they could miss the playoffs altogether." Overall, Oliver shipped off LeSean McCoy, Marshawn Lynch, and Aaron Rodgers while securing basically eight hundred more draft picks. Now they're in contention for their third title (2004, 2009). If this works, it’ll be quite an incredible story won’t it?

ROUND ONE

• #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (11-2), 80.5 - 67.5
• #3 Team Cameltoe (10-3) def #2 Jedi Knights (8-5), 132.0 - 67.5

• #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) def #3 Detroit Players (7-6), 93 - 83.5
• #4 Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1) def #1 Squirtle Squad (10-2-1), 84.5 - 78

CONFERENCE FINALS

• #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #3 Team Cameltoe (10-3), 100 - 92.5
• #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) def #4 Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1), 131.5 - 44

2015 Final Power Rankings

Playoff Teams 
1. MoRRie's Pogiboys (11-2) - The Moose Knuckle Division Champions. Best Overall Record
2. Squirtle Squad (10-2-1) - Ohana Division Champions. Next best overall record.
3. Team Cameltoe (10-3) - Next best overall record .
4. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) - Sum Dum Goy Division Champions. Wins tiebreak vs Jedi Knights via Total Points Scored
5. Jedi Knights (8-5) - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champion. Next best overall record.
6. Detroit Players (7-6) - Next best overall record
7. Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1) - Next best overall record
8. Another Bad Creaation (6-7) - Next best overall record

Non-playoff Teams 
9. Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Pooh Bears via H2H
10. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) - Next best overall record
11. Italian Stallionz (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Ouroboros/Bamfers/Fockers via H2H% among tied opponents (1.00 x .33 x .5 x 0.0)
12. * Fockers (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Ourboros/Bamfers via Total Points Scored
13. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Bamfers via Total Points Scored
14. Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8) - Next best overall record.
15. Original Salt (3-10) - Next best overall record.
16. P Funk All Stars (2-11) - Next best overall record.

Playoff Seeding
Eastern Conference 

1. MoRRie's Pogiboys (11-2) - The Moose Knuckle Division Champions.
2. Jedi Knights (8-5) - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champions.
3. Team Cameltoe (10-3)
4. Another Bad Creation (6-7)

Western Conference 

1. Squirtle Squad (10-2-1) - Ohana Division Champions.
2. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) - Sum Dum Goy Division Champions.
3. Detroit Players (7-6)
4. Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1)

2015 Standings

Full Standings

The Return of the Sith

Whoops again, MnB media team was in Korea and other parts, so missed a few weeks. But we can't slack on our league coverage so let's wrap up our divisional looks by peering in on The Knights Who Say Ni! [2015 Keepers]

Jedi Knights (6-5)
The Knights went 12-1 last season and were a strong championship contender but they don’t look nearly as dominant this year. Still, they could crawl their way to a third consecutive division title. Or they could collapse out of the playoff picture altogether since they’re 1-3 in the past month, and have scored sub-40 points twice in that same span. If Jedi goes winless the rest of the way and Another Bad Creation wins out, ABC owns the tie-breaker between these two teams…

The problem recently for Jedi has clearly been the upheaval at quarterback, with Peyton Manning being awful and Ryan Fitzpatrick taking three of the last four starts. The theoretical strong ground game of mid-draft trade addition Marshawn Lynch and Alfred Morris has completely collapsed, and Danny Woodhead has actually been the best best backfield option. It looks like trading away three RD1 and one RD2 for Lynch will hurt Knights for years to come.

The leading scorer on this team is Greg Olsen, who is averaging 12.8 ppg and is #3 on the TE rankings. However, I don’t think anyone wants their tight end to be leading their team in scoring --  unless maybe that tight end is named Gronk. The other receivers here, Emmanuel Sanders and TY Hilton, have both suffered quarterback setbacks in recent weeks, and their future production is up in the air. In short, Jedi Knights is fading but could still sneak into the playoffs with a whimper but certainly not a bang.

Another Bad Creation (4-7)
Unless ABC can win out, they could miss the playoffs altogether. Over in the Moose Knuckle, there are three teams currently ranked better than ABC in the standings so it might have to be division title or bust for Oliver to hit the post-season. Even with a 4-7 record after last year’s 8-5 campaign, this season has to be considered a success because GM Oliver picked up six RD1 picks for the corpses of Marshawn Lynch and LeSean McCoy. Sure, either could bounce back to their former star status but this season has been terrible for both.

Oh yeah, ABC continued the full rebuild by trading Aaron Rodgers away for another five RD1 picks, plus current starter Kirk Cousins. Basically Oliver just pulled a Danny Ainge and moved every old asset for a boundless future. There’s some budding talent on this team too, as young guys like TJ Yeldon, Jeremy Langford, and Stefon Diggs have flashed their potential. Heck, TE Ladarius Green is #3 in ABC’s scoring, although that’s not saying much. (Rodgers still leads this team in scoring, despite being traded away a month ago.) Keepers Joique Bell, Andre Johnson, and Vincent Jackson could all see the boot next off-season in favor of younger, and better, options.

Facing off against two of the worst teams in the league during his final two matchups, Oliver has a chance to make the playoffs if he can win out. Regardless of how 2015 finishes up though, Another Bad Creation is set up for an incredible future with all those draft picks and it looks like they’ll be a team to watch in the upcoming years. What a haul!

Original Salt (3-8)
One team headed straight to the Toilet Bowl is Original Salt, who has collapsed to sub 0.500 after putting up a 6-7 campaign last year, just on the verge of respectability. This season they are averaging 54.3 points per game, which is embarrassing to the point of being nearly impossible. (The next worst PF team puts up 80.0 ppg.) Given this fact, it’s almost a miracle the Salties have won one game, much less three. Two of those wins were in the first two weeks of the season, and then they suffered a two month losing streak before WK11’s 71.5 - 31.0 victory over P Funk.

Losing Ben Roethlisberger after WK2 hurt, but it looks like Big Ben has returned to form in recent weeks. He’ll be inserted back into the roster immediately, as Teddy Bridgewater was a low end starting option. Early season fantasy surprise James Jones has come back to life, and there’s a smattering of decent-ish receiving options aboard, with keeper Doug Baldwin and Brandon LaFell doing their best to catch a few passes. Redskins running back Chris Thompson had been filling in for Forte — plus Reggie Bush, who was injured most of the weeks he was in the lineup — but he's been not so good so it'll be nice to have Forte back to action soon. Maybe the returns of Roethlisberger and Forte can help Original Salt pull of an upset in the Toilet Bowl but that would require this team to put A LOT more points on the board than they're used to. 54.3 points per game!?!

Note: Maybe Reno's attention is pointed toward coaching the Mountain House High basketball team. If so, let's cheer them on! Go Mustangs!

P Funk All Stars (2-9)
Last year’s P Funk All Stars finished with two wins, which means Paolo’s team has two shots left to better his 2014 record. While P Funk hasn’t been horrible with their PF, they have faced the second toughest schedule in the league and opponents are averaging 92.8 ppg versus them. Ouch. At least one of this year’s two wins was a stirring WK10 defeat of contender Detroit Players, but that was mostly a moral victory.

Injuries have hurt this team, as DeSean Jackson is just now making his return to the field while Ryan Mathews and Michael Floyd have both missed some games. The good news is that both have performed well, especially Floyd, who has been on fire for the past month pre-injury. Number two overall pick in this year’s draft, Amari Cooper, also looks like the real deal and there’s a chance his Raiders' QB Derek Carr could have emerged as a legit fantasy option — although Joe Flacco has been the starter for P Funk, at least until his torn ACL last week. Running back surprise Dion Lewis has also been lost for the season, meaning P Funk is heading into the Toilet Bowl minus two of their top three scorers. Can Paolo's team make any noise in the losers bracket? I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

We Are Family

Whoops, we missed a week but here’s a look at the Ohana division, the third in our season series after The Moose Knuckle and Sum Dum Goy! This division used to be the best in the land, when they were “The Wood,” but things aren’t looking so good for this once mighty quartet. [2015 Keepers]

Squirtle Squad (5-2-1)
Brian’s team hasn’t lost since WK1 (until last week), owns the second highest PF, and has the rest of his division mates fading into the distance. With five total wins, Squirrels have already outpaced last year’s four wins and is looking to cruise to a division title. We gave this team the lowest keeper core score from Ohana but that hasn’t affected them one bit. Ryan Tannehill was the keeper QB here, and was leading the team until a recent change to Matthew Stafford at the helm. Keenan Allen reemerged as a fantasy star early on, and still leads this team in non-QB position scoring, but he’s out indefinitely with a mystery kidney ailment. No matter though, because Allen Robinson has emerged as a legit #1 option, scoring 22.5, 17, and 18 points in his last three games.

Randall Cobb hasn’t had the kind of season everyone expected but he’s serviceable, and tight end Jordan Reed has been quite decent, ranking as the #7 TE. And hey! Adrian Peterson is back! While AP hasn’t had a big game since WK4, he’s been at least a steady presence and with other top ranked running backs dropping by the week, All Day is looking like a semi-safe play. Plus, Lamar Miller and Justin Forsett have been picking up steam for the past few weeks. With only one 0.500+ team left on their schedule, Squirtles can basically sit back and start figuring out their post-season plans!

Italian Stallionz (3-5)
The Stallionz started off 3-1 but are suddenly fading quite badly, low lighted by WK7’s 55 point showing in a loss. It's four straight L's for this team. What’s going on Porta?! For one, Marcus Mariota has totaled thirteen points in those four losses, and has been off the field for the last two weeks, albeit with no lineup change. We suspect Porta is out on the slopes or something, ignoring his fantasy team. The season ending injury to Jamaal Charles surely didn’t help either, even though Chris Johnson and Darren McFadden are both quietly having kind of comeback seasons. CJ2K and Run DMC! Is it 2010 again?! Sadly, the Andre Ellington hype train has long since derailed...

This team still has a lot going for it though, such as #1 ranked WR DeAndre Hopkins, who has been simply amazing with a 19.3 pts average. And with mondo target Brandon Marshall on the other side, Stallionz have two of the top six receivers in the game — TE Kyle Rudolph is a non-factor. If GM Porta can get a quarterback in there for Mariota, this team could still go places and maybe challenge for a wild card spot. Get off the snowboard and back into the game Porta!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (3-5)
We gave this team a sterling keeper score and were ready for them to re-enter the championship picture. Instead, the once mighty Pooh Bears are looking pretty fried, and is likely headed straight to the Toilet Bowl after book ending five losses in-between WK1 and WK7 wins. Then again, an uplifting 92-88 WK8 victory versus Mandalorian Warriors this past week could have them hoping for a playoff spot. Possible? If Jose and Jayvee want to see the post-season, they’ll have to make some moves starting right now!

On paper, this team is still pretty good. Cam Newton has been challenged by Carson Palmer for the starting quarterback slot, but that’s not a bad thing as both are averaging exactly 19.0 pts each outing. Young receivers Brandin Cooks and Mike Evans have been a bit on-and-off, but both will get more chances to shine with Steve Smith having torn his ACL. And while Antonio Brown hasn’t been the monster he was last season, Big Ben is back and so should Brown’s uber-effectiveness. And even Jimmy Graham hasn’t been as bad as initially feared/complained, as he’s been posting alternating big games. Sure, Carlos Hyde has been nigh useless, but Duke Johnson is flashing bits of potential in his rookie year. And Chris Ivory, the #5 ranked RB this season, was recently traded for the younger David Johnson, giving Pooh Bears another young runner while moving a veteran piece to a contender. Can the Bears move up? Or will they head to the Toilet Bowl?

*Fockers (2-6)
Last year’s division champion should probably reserve a seat at the Toilet Bowl. After entering the season with high hopes — and our #1 ranked keeper core — Hong has found his team flopping around at the bottom of the division. It’s not their fault, not entirely, since they’ve faced a punishing schedule that has been the toughest in the league -- opponents are averaging 102.25 against them. But they haven’t helped themselves either, with two sub-65 point showings to start the year and then erratic PF the rest of the way. With five games to go, a playoff showing is probably out of reach here.

Oh right, Le’Veon Bell was just lost for the season, right as Dez Bryant returns to action. If there’s a cursed season, this is it for Fockers. I mean, Andrew Luck has been awful (he’s ranked as the #23 QB by average, right above Brian Hoyer), DeAngelo Williams has received twenty-two carries combined in his last six games, LeGarrette Blount has one good game in three, Antonio Gates can’t stay on the field, and well, I’ll just stop… The good new is that Demaryius Thomas has still been okay, and waiver wire pickup Rishard Matthews has been quite the find! A season that started with a bold move, and championship aspirations, has collapsed pretty completely. Time to aim for that 2016 #1 draft pick I guess!

Git Sum

Last week we looked at The Moose Knuckle, the current strongest division in the league. This week we’ll take a look at Sum Dum Goy, arguably the second best division this season. [2015 Keepers]

Mandalorian Warriors (4-1-1)
The Warriors were pegged for a huge rebuilding year as almost all of their current assets had been moved away in recent seasons — and a mid-draft trade of CJ Anderson didn’t look like a “win now” move. Well, six weeks in, the Warriors are leading the Eastern Conference in wins and have scored the fourth most points in the league. The resurgence has been led by, of all people, Larry Fitzgerald! Fitz has scored double digits in all of his games, with an average of 18.4 points and 5 TDs accrued. Across from him is Julian Edelman, who is averaging a nifty 17.6 points of his own in just five weeks. And ugh, who is TE Gary Barnidge and why is he putting up scores of 19-16-23-16.5 points in the last month?!

With these three to throw to, it’s been okay that Drew Brees has been pretty average. Or that there’s not much of a run game here — although Karlos Williams was looking great until his recent injury. The Warriors find themselves with a fierce passing attack after moving out all of their starting running backs (LeSean McCoy, Anderson, Chris Ivory), and are winning more for it. Is Matt’s team back to contender status so soon? Sure looks like it!

Detroit Players (4-2)
Ariel’s team looked like they would have one of the best running attacks in the game with three keeper-ed RBs, plus rookie Ameer Abdullah. Mostly, that’s been true, although the running leader in the clubhouse has been surprising. Mark Ingram has grabbed the starting reins and is the #4 RB in fantasy this season, posting a 13.9 average. DeMarco Murray and Jeremy Hill have both taken a step back this season, but both are still capable of alternating big games. Abdullah has been very erratic, but he will have plenty of time to find his footing on this team.

And the passing attack has been very good, featuring AJ Green and Jarvis Landry, a terrific duo. With Martavis Bryant making his season debut behind a huge 28 point week, it’s safe to say that Players could have some of the best position players around. Except for a slight hole at quarterback, where Sam Bradford is in constant danger of being replaced by James Winston, who has been turnover prone, but steadier on the scoreboard than Bradford.

Strangely, Players have scored less PF than PA, owing to their two losses being gigantic blowouts. And two of their wins have been very close: An one point win last week, and a nail biting 0.5 point win in WK1 versus Squirtle Squad. With a strong rotation and steely nerves, Players look like they’ll easily hit the post-season this year after missing out last year.

Sweep the Leg Zabka (2-4)
After starting off 2-1, Alan’s team has lost four in a row, albeit to three very strong teams. They aren’t too far back and could make a push for a post-season berth if they can get their running game in order. The passing game is looking great, as both Andy Dalton and Eli Manning are having fantastic seasons. In fact, Dalton has emerged as the #2 QB in the game, and has taken over for Eli, who is at #8. Trade bait for someone?

Odell Beckham Jr. and Rob Gronkowski form an enviable 1-2 receiving punch and Gronk has been, predictably, the best TE by a wide margin. Beckham has had two dips but is definitely not suffering from any sophomore slumps, unlike Sammy Watkins, who can’t seem to get the ball, or stay healthy. And as for that running attack, Latavius Murray and Jonathan Stewart are averaging close to double digits, but have been up and down. Also, let’s not overlook the best kicker in the game, Stephen Gostkowski, who is blasting 13.8 points in his last four games.

With a top passing attack, a great kicking game, and maybe a little bit of ground game to finish out games, Sweep the Leg could get right back into the post-season hunt, and we’re not ready to count them out!

Shogun of Harlem (2-4)
Hope floats for the other 2-4 team in this division too, as Shoguns started off 0-4 and didn’t score more than 84 points in the first month of the season but has picked up two consecutive wins and is averaging 100.25 ppg in that span. What’s changed? One name: Arian Foster! Okay, not everything good can be laid at the feet of Foster, but his return has helped steady the backfield. Alfred Blue was nigh useless and the previous top running back scorer was a lone big week by Seahawks’ Thomas Rawls.

But now Foster can combine with Tyler Eifert (having a great year as the #2 ranked TE), a pretty solid Jeremy Maclin, and the fantasy stylings of dual threat QB Tyrod Taylor — replacing the injured Tony Romo — to get this team some much needed wins. Coach Mike has already started seventeen players this season, a huge number, so some lineup steadiness could help them climb out of the cellar. There’s still a lot of regular season left to play and Shoguns are clearly trending up!

Moose is Loose!

I was going to do a “best teams so far” article but we might as well turn this into divisional reviews because, shockingly, The Moose Knuckle has three of the leagues top teams! A division long mocked for its ineptitude suddenly sports one undefeated team and two other squads with sterling 4-1 records. So let’s start our weekly division look with The Moose Knuckle shall we? [2015 Keepers]

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (5-0)
The cream of Maize and Blue this season is averaging 110.3 points per game and opened the year by taking down three teams who now have winning records. Before the draft, Alvin had pinged me asking about Devonta Freeman and I gave him a lukewarm answer, even as a die hard Falcons fan. Well, five weeks in and Freeman is leading the entire league in total points scored, with 24.0 per. Along with a tremendous Tom Brady (averaging 25.5 points over four games), Pogiboys is sitting very pretty. Adding to the riches, Pogiboys also have breakout candidate Allen Hurns coming on too!

Not all is right, of course, as the mid-draft trade for LeSean McCoy has been a disaster, Eddie Lacy has been slow to start (again), and Calvin Johnson has been pedestrian, with Megatron being outscored by the likes of John Brown. But hey, keeper holdover Travis Kelce has looked quite good and between Brady, Freeman, and the top ranked Broncos defense, there doesn’t seem to be much that can slow down this team. So here's our early season favorite and it's on the playoffs for Pogiboys! *jinx*

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-1)
Want to know how one of the worst teams of the last few seasons started off the season 4-0? Well, look no further than PA, which gave Ouroboros a soft start to the season, and even after last week’s 74.5 - 81.5 loss to division mate Team Cameltoe, Jon’s team is still facing the weakest schedule in the land, with opponents averaging a measly 68.3 points. To be fair, Ouroboros has put up 91.7 points per matchup, which puts them as the fourth highest scoring team this season. For a team coming off a 4-9 season, it’s been a huge improvement.

Matt Ryan has been erratic at the helm but he’s led this team in scoring, while Giovani Bernard has been quietly effective. It didn’t take long for first overall pick Todd Gurley to make his mark on the NFL and it looks like he’ll permanently take over Joseph Randle’s starting spot. In fact, this team suddenly has a bunch of mid-tier RBs, with Isaiah Crowell on the bench as well as Rashad Jennings. The receivers have been boom and bust, but Eric Decker, Torrey Smith, Martellus Bennet, and the ghost of Tavon Austin have all had at least one huge game. With Gurley coming on, and a stiff Cardinals defense, Ouroboros could be in the fight for their first post-season berth post-ownership change!

Team Cameltoe (4-1)
Nipping at Pogiboys and Ouroboros’ heels is Felipe’s team. Aside from a WK3 blowout loss to Alvin, Camelot has been pretty good. A lot of that success can be attributed to Julio Jones’ incredible start to the season and the contributions of wideout Jordan Matthews. The past two weeks have also featured 21.5 and 34.5 point showings from Doug Martin, which has given the ground team some life. And that’s good because the mid-draft trade for CJ Anderson has been an absolute disaster. I guess two firsts and a second buy 3.9 ppg these days… Keeper Lorenzo Taliaferro has been a mess too. So, um, let’s hope Muscle Hamster keeps churning!

Actually, wait, how is this team winning so much? Russell Wilson has been barely above average, and tight end prospect Josh Hill has already been cut. I guess with Jones, Martin, and Matthews that’s been enough to keep Cameltoe in the hunt! With last week’s takedown of Hungry Ouroboros, Felipe has a leg up in the H2H tie-breaker, and Cameltoe should remain competitive in the fight for a division title.

Ann Arbor Bamfers (1-4)
Not everyone can be a winner right? Bamfers are averaging 66.8 points per game, second lowest in the league, with their one win coming against fellow bottom dweller P Funk All Stars in WK4. Still, Bamfers put up a fight against division leading Pogiboys last weekend and they’re not going to just roll over... After all, there’s still our inaugural Toilet Bowl to prepare for!

Old man Frank Gore has led this team in scoring, and he seems to have found his footing in Indianapolis after a rough first two weeks. The main problem for this team has been at the top, with Colin Kaepernick starting four games before finally getting benched for the superior Philip Rivers last week. Rookies Melvin Gordon and Nelson Agholor have yet to make much of a mark, and Golden Tate has been catching a lot of balls, but none for touchdowns, or much yardage. Overall the Bamfers just need their rookies to show some promise over the course of the season, and to maybe play spoiler for the rest of The Moose Knuckle contenders to make this a successful regular season.

Draft Review 2015

It's time to look at the first few rounds of our draft again. Remember when we looked at the relative worth of acquiring first and second rounders? Well, here it is, "Early Round Wheeling and Dealing." The conclusion was: don't know! What we do know is that last year's first round was a total disaster, at least for the first few picks.

I can't see exactly who was picked where -- I've rectified that this year by copying CBS' info over to our spreadsheet -- but here were the first seven picks in 2014: Brandin Cooks, Sammy Watkins, Philip Rivers, Jeremy Maclin, Toby Gerhart, Carlos Hyde, and Bishop Sankey. Ouchies. It was actually better to grab the likes of Golden Tate or T.Y. Hilton later on in the round. And it's not like the 2013 draft was much better, with at least 50% flameouts early on. So, let's take a look at 2015 shall we? [Draft Review 2014 | 2013]

ROUND ONE
Hungry Ouroboros bold move for the number one overall selection turned into Todd Gurley, the next Adrian Peterson, albeit with a bum knee. It’ll be interesting if he’ll be able to outplay his fellow rookie running backs over the next few years, or if he becomes an injury hobbled waste of a first pick. Top rookie wideout Amari Cooper went next to P Funk All Stars, and let’s hope he’s better than Tavon Austin, Paolo’s last #2 overall rookie wide receiver.

There was a lot of talk that Melvin Gordon could go #1 based on his opportunities, his skill set, and San Diego being Jon’s hometown, but Jon dislikes all Chargers on principle (“they’re chokers!”) and Gordon went to Ann Arbor Bamfers at 1.3, which means he’ll learn under the tutelage of Frank Gore and CJ Spiller.

And at 1.4, Detroit Players traded down and still got their man, the electric Ameer Abdullah. “Finally, I can cheer for my home team again,” Felipe was heard to exclaim. Overall, six of the first seven picks were rookies, with only Squirtle Squad’s Lamar Miller at 1.5. Right after Miller went Nelson Agholor (Bamfers), Tevin Coleman (Stallionz), and Duke Johnson (Pooh Bears).

As always, Pooh Bears had plenty of picks, and he got two Johnsons back-to-back — Duke and Charles (1.9). Our defending champs, Original Salt, must not believe in Big Ben’s ability to stay healthy as he scooped up Teddy Bridgewater right afterwards. Aside from Devin Funchess at 1.13 to Stallionz, it was a fire sale on running backs after Original Salt’s pick, with rookie TJ Yeldon (Another Bad Creation), Jonathan Stewart (Sweep the Leg Zabka), Alfred Blue (Shoguns of Harlem), and Chris Ivory (Pooh Bears’ third first-rounder) all flying off the board. Detroit Players cleaned up the first round with his second first-rounder, grabbing receiver Breshad Perriman, another rookie.

With the way RD1 picks tend to bust, we should start a side pool to see who can guess the best/worst ones! Right?

ROUND TWO
The second round was mostly about older receivers, with Original Salt and Pooh Bears each getting two: Brandon LaFell (2.7), Anquan Boldin (2.10) to Salt and Jason Witten (2.7), Steve Smith (2.8) to Bears. Victor Cruz also got a look, from Sweep the Leg Zabka at 2.12. [Ed. note: Here’s hoping Cruz has a horrible season, as I was forced to cut him from my keeper team. Although he had a fun cameo on Season 1 of Ballers.]

There was also a fair share of retread running backs and “maybe they’ll get a shot” guys. Tre Mason (2.2, Bamfers), Bishop Sankey (2.13, Warriors), Shane Vereen (2.14), and Danny Woodhead (2.16, both Jedi Knights). The first pick of the second round, P Funk All Stars’, is already out for eight weeks, as rookie running back David Cobb will take a seat on injured reserve. Ouch.

The two highly touted rookie quarterbacks went this round, as Jameis Winston (2.8) joins Detroit Players and will actually get a chance to start since Ariel's team was the only one without a QB keeper. On the other hand, Marcus Mariota (2.15) will become Matthew Stafford’s understudy for Italian Stallionz. We like the alliteration of "Matthew and Marcus" already!

Hungry Ouroboros seemingly auto-picked Rashad Jennings (2.5) but that’s actually who he wanted anyway. No, honestly! The most immediate upside guy from this round is John Brown, 2.6 to Pogiboys, as it’s being said that Brown’s the heir apparent to Larry Fitzgerald, and not Michael Floyd. Or maybe Cody Latimer (2.11, ABC) has something to say about that as he tried to become Wes Welker-lite in Denver.

If you’re counting at home, both Pooh Bears and Players had a bunch of RD1 and RD2 picks. For posterity, here they are: Duke Johnson (1.8), Charles Johnson (1.9), Chris Ivory (1.15), Jason Witten (2.7), Steve Smith (2.9) for Bears versus Ameer Abdullah (1.4), Breshad Perriman (1.16), Maxx Williams (2.3), Jameis Winston (2.8) for Players. Which group will turn out better?

ROUND THREE
Say hello to Cameltoe and Fockers as they join us for the 2015 draft! Both draft tight ends, as Cameltoe grabbed Julius Thomas (3.9) while Fockers lifted inevitably took Antonio Gates (3.15). A couple of quarterbacks were auto-picked, as Jay Cutler (3.2) and Philip Rivers (3.5) both went to Bamfers. It’s actually hard to argue those two picks since we don’t believe in Colin Kaepernick’s skills anymore. Still, three quarterbacks seem like overkill? Someone teach Randy how to queue players! Detroit Players also went all upside with auto-grab Sam Bradford (3.8) to compete with Jameis Winston on opening day.

And that’s not all the QBs drafted. Carson Palmer (3.7) will back up Cam Newton, Alex Smith (3.11) will game manage for Aaron Rodger’s two missed games this season, and Andy Dalton (3.12) will just hang out behind Eli Manning because Eli never misses games.

Blake Bortles (3.13) was going to get a chance to start for Pogiboys but now Tom Brady will come back after annihilating Roger Goodell in court. I bet Bortles feels <insert pun>. Shoguns of Harlem did grab intriguing prospect Tyrod Taylor (3.14) at the end of the round, and maybe he could learn a thing or two watching Tony Romo’s improvisational daring. Let’s just call RD3 the quarterback round as there were eight QBs selected, keeping with the quarterback heavy tradition in years past.

Also, can you believe that no defenses have been drafted through the first three rounds? In 2013 we saw a defense auto-picked in the first round, and 2014 had the the first defense selected at the end of the second round. Well, I’m happy to say that no defenses was picked at all until round four, great job guys! (Except for the two unnamed owners who kept Ravens and Texans DST. Like, seriously?)

You tell me if Devante Parker (3.1), David Johnson (3.3), Knile Davis (3.4), Stevie Johnson (3.6), Reggie Bush (3.10), and Eddie Royal (3.16) will pan out. Usually by round three it’s just reaching for anyone who will get some guaranteed playing time. Of those names, we like Bush to get some solid touches.

ROUND FOUR
Almost nobody drafted down here can be properly evaluated. I mean, where was Odell Beckham Jr. drafted last year? Undrafted? Take a look at RD4s of years past and it’s basically no-man’s land, with nary a solid starter in sight, much less a future keeper. Two DSTs went this round, as did the top kicker, Stephen Gostkowski (4.3), fittingly to Sweep the Leg. And double ouch, P Funk All Stars already lost rookie running back David Cobb, the first pick of the second round, and now Jonas Gray (4.1) has been released by the Patriots. Someone get Paolo to a doctor!

Anyone else of interest down here? We think Josh Hill could be a big get at 4.9 for Cameltoe, but it’s hard to tell if he was auto-drafted. Hill was projected at #3 TE in my magazine and I was hoping to steal him one round later, oh well. Maybe Terrance Williams (4.5) will break out for Warriors, or maybe an old vet like Pierre Garcon (4.12) is a better bet this far down. We’re swimming in the dark here, and this year’s RD4 seemed particular boring.

Lots more upside guys went in RD5 actually, with a whole bunch of young receiers flying off the boards. I mean, who is Jaelen Strong on the Texans? I’ve been watching Hard Knocks every week and never even heard of him! The only receiver to draft off that team, aside from DeAndre Hopkins should be breakout reality star Uzoma “EZ” Nwachukwu right? Actually, can I draft cornerback Charles James II as a running back? He’s amazing!

I guess that’s it, another draft in the books. Let’s see how many of these rookies pan out, and let’s hope Todd Gurley is the next Steven Jackson, or maybe the next Christian Okoye! Niiiiigeeeriiian Niiiightmare!

Draft Trades 2015

I thought last year we had a lot of trades, seven pre-draft, but this year blows that total out of the water! Okay technically there were only four trades before the draft but in total there were ten between the pre-draft stuff and in-draft moves. And some huge names were changed! Let's take a look...

2015 Pre-Draft Trades:

• #194: Hungry Ouroboros trade 2015 RD4 to Sweep the Zabka for Torrey Smith
• #195: Hungry Ouroboros trade 2016 RD4 to Pooh Bears for Martellus Bennet
• #196: Fockers trade 2015 RD1, 2015 RD2, 2016 RD1, 2017 RD2, 2018 RD3 to Pooh Bears for Dez Bryant and Davante Adams
• #197: Detroit Players trade 2015 RD1 to Hungry Ouroboros for 2015 RD1, 2015 RD2 

Right before keeper declarations is always a tense time for the league. Who will sell off extra guys? What caliber of player will change hands? Two teams moved to enhance their keeper core, with Hungry Ouroboros trading a pair of RD4 picks for Torrey Smith and Martellus Bennett. GM Jon really swung for the fences there and sprung his team right from the bottom, well, right back to the bottom. Still, some pre-keeper moves were welcome to get the fantasy season started.

Then Fockers, last year’s Super Bowl losers came in huge with a gigantic trade for Dez Bryant and Davante Adams. We already talked about how Bryant will push Fockers to a top keeper core, but what about that gargantuan price: two firsts (2015, 2016), two seconds (2015, 2017), and a third (2018). Who will get the better of that deal? I guess we’ll find out at the end of the season to see if Fockers is flashing that Super Bowl bling! And let's keep in mind how well Fockers' last pre-draft mega-trade worked out for Hong, catapulting him on his current rise to the top.

And right before the final bell, as the draft was about to start, Hungry Ouroboros struck again, moving from their #4 overall slot all the way up to #1. Detroit Players won the 2015 lottery but evidently was willing to move down a few slots to get their guy. Rumors were that Ariel was happy with two of the top rookies and was more than happy to grab an extra high second rounder to move down. What did Jon do with that #1 pick? Read the draft review to find out!

2015 Draft Trades:

• #198: Jedi Knights trade 2016 RD2, 2017 RD2 to Shoguns of Harlem for 2015 RD2
• #199: Cameltoe trade 2016 RD2, 2018 RD1, 2019 RD1 to Mandalorian Warriors for CJ Anderson
• #200: Pogiboys trade 2017 RD1, 2018 RD1, 2020 RD1 to Another Bad Creation for LeSean McCoy and 2018 RD4
• #201: Italian Stallionz trade 2015 RD3 to Pogiboys for 2015 RD4, 2016 RD5
• #202: Jedi Knights trade 2017 RD1, 2018 RD1, 2018 RD2, 2019 RD1 to Another Bad Creation for Marshawn Lynch
• #203: Another Bad Creation trade 2017 RD5 to Pooh Bears for 2015 RD7, 2015 RD8, 2015 RD9, 2015 RD10

And if you thought the trade for one of the best receivers in the game, or for the number one overall pick, was exciting, look at what came next! A trio of super RBs were traded: Marshawn Lynch, LeSean McCoy, and CJ Anderson. Let’s start with that latter trade, as the blow-it-all-up Mandalorian Warriors moved a likely top ten back for two long-in-the-future firsts (2018, 2019) and a current second (2016). Why not earlier first rounders? Because GM Felipe already traded 2016 and 2017’s RD1 to 100 Acre Wood Bears! So, no joke, Team Cameltoe won’t be seeing a first rounder until 2020! This trade will give them a nice backfield partner for Doug Martin though, and it looked like Cameltoe was making a strong push for the division title.

But oh wait, a few moments later, Morrie’s Pogiboys struck back with a huge trade of their own, moving three first-rounders (2017, 2018, 2020) for the services of LeSean McCoy! That gave Alvin two top running backs in Eddie Lacy and McCoy, and put Pogiboys back into the driver seat for the newly named Moose Knuckle division. The games haven't even started yet and the competition is heating up!

And then a few days later, another bomb dropped as Another Bad Creation chose to cast off their other franchise running back, Marshawn Lynch, to Jedi Knights for three firsts (2017, 2018, 2019) and a second (2018). What was going on!?! Reached for comment after the moves that completely stripped his backfield, GM Oliver had this to say “I was getting bored of those guys. Marshawn, LeSean, it’s been real, but see ya!” We’re not sure how Aaron Rodgers felt about last year's 8-5 team getting wrecked like that, but we’re guessing he’s not too happy. It’s possible that Rodgers may find himself demanding a trade soon.

In sum, Another Bad Creation received six first-rounders and a second for his pair of top five-ish running backs. (Note: McCoy was acquired last mid-season in trade ID#189 for a first and a second, so that was a huge profit here.) We’re pretty sure ABC is headed for the bottom of the standings now, unless Joique Bell and whoever Oliver acquires during the draft is ready to shoulder the load. It'll be interesting to see what ABC gets with all those future picks though.

As for Jedi Knights, the team who ruled over all of Maize and Blue last season — well, in the regular season anyway — Lum will take this gift from his in-division rival and push all his chips in with Peyton Manning, Lynch, Alfred Morris, and the rest of his already strong keeper core. In the end, it looks like certain teams moved to get into/retain their contender status while two former champs decided to pull back and rebuild. (What's this we hear about Mandalorian Warriors also willing to move Drew Brees for the right price?...) And let's not forget our defending champs, Original Salt, who sat on the Maize and Blue throne and watched as all the little people positioned themselves to grovel at his feet...

Of course there were a number of smaller draft position trades too, but with the fireworks we just described, they're just not worth covering. So, let’s see what happens during our draft then and thanks for all the excitement guys! More trades, more trades!

Draft Order 2015

Last year, the defending champs got the #1 overall draft pick. This time, 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears threatened to do the same, with their plethora of extra first rounders. Actually, I didn't know this, but the lottery is weighted in favor of the best non-playoff team, meaning that the winning teams were at an advantage. And since this was our last lottery (ever?), it would have been exciting to see a one-in-a-million shot team like P Funk All Stars win the first pick.

Alas, Detroit Players, with a 8/36 chance -- Pooh Bears and Ann Arbor Bamfers both had 7/36 shots -- won the whole shebang and will have the right to select first in 2015. Still, it's a fitting end to this lottery system, as the team that "deserved" it, got it. And starting next season, it's the Toilet Bowl!

2015 Draft Order:

1. P Funk All Stars (2-11)
2. Ann Arbor Bamfers (3-10)
3. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)
4. Squirtle Squad (4-9)
5. Mandalorian Warriors (5-8)
6. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (5-7-1)
7. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (7-6)
8. Detroit Players (6-5-2)
9. Team Cameltoe (6-7)
10. Original Salt (6-7)
11. Another Bad Creation (8-5)
12. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
13. Italian Stallionz (8-5)
14. Shoguns of Harlem (8-4-1)
15. Fockers (10-3)
16. Jedi Knights (12-1)

2015 Keeper Analysis: Western Conference

We took a look at the Eastern Conference keepers the other day, so here's the rest.

The Moose Knuckle (Hoke-A-Mania)
MoRRie’s Pogiboys -1(14): Tom Brady (2) Eddie Lacy (3) Devonta Freeman (1) Denard Robinson (1) Calvin Johnson (3) Travis Kelce (2)
Team Cameltoe -1(12): Russell Wilson (2) Doug Martin (2) Lorenzo Taliaferro (1) Julio Jones (3) Jordy Nelson (3) Jordan Matthews (1)
Hungry Hungry Ouroboros -2(9): Matt Ryan (3) Giovani Bernard (1) Joseph Randle (1) Eric Decker (1) Torrey Smith (1) Martellus Bryant (2)
Ann Arbor Bamfers -2(8): Colin Kaepernick (1) Frank Gore (2) CJ Spiller (1) Golden Tate (2) Kendall Wright (1) Delanie Walker (1)

In a division where everyone’s keeper cores went downhill (and nobody finished with a winning record last season), MoRRie’s Pogiboys again have the best six guys. They have the pretty good on paper trio of Tom Brady, Eddie Lacy, and Calvin Johnson as carryovers, but the rest of the roster is purely speculative. Trent Richardson was a disaster last year, as was Percy Harvin. Michael Crabtree was okay but definitely couldn’t return to his pre-injury numbers. Now those three guys have been replaced by Devonta Freeman, Denard Robinson, and Travis Kelce, who all have flashed some talent, but are far from proven. There was talk pre-draft that Alvin was looking to ship off Megatron in an effort to rebuild, but a division title could always be around in the corner in this sorry division.

Last year’s winner, Team Cameltoe, got the honor of renaming the division, and grabbed an upset playoff victory to boot. The huge trades from 2013 that Felipe boldly undertook is still under evaluation but it has already resulted in losing 2014’s #1 overall selection. The good news is that Russell Wilson has a pair of superior targets to throw to: Julio Jones and Jordy Nelson. The run game “features” Doug Martin but that’s not saying a lot. Can new keepers Lorenzo Taliaferro and Jordan Matthews help keep Cameltoe on top? It’ll be tough with Jordy Nelson recently declared out for the season with a torn ACL but this is The Moose Knuckle so anything could happen, even a division winner with a losing record!

There aren’t a lot of worse keeper cores than what Hungry Hungry Ouroboros are rolling out this off-season. Matt Ryan is a steady presence at quarterback but last year’s trade for pre-suspension Ray Rice was a disaster. Giovani Bernard has been supplanted by Jeremy Hill in Cincinnati and although a starting spot has opened up for new keeper Joseph Randle, he’s not exactly a franchise runner. And the receiving corps were in shambles too, as Victor Cruz was injured most of the season, along with Dennis Pitta. Two pre-draft trades brought in Torrey Smith and Martellus Bennett to slot in next to holdover Eric Decker (kept instead of Victor Cruz), but all three are at best average. Looks like Ouroboros’s losing ways will continue this season, and beyond…

Speaking of shoddy keeper cores, Ann Arbor Bamfers are straight awful. With two very high 2015 first round picks, GM Randy better hit some home runs. The two keeper QB conundrum from last year has been solved, as Colin Kaepernick is now slotted in as the leader of this team — over Nick Foles, a toss up decision really — but he won’t have much to work with. There’s a chance Frank Gore still has some gas left in the tank, and Golden Tate broke out last year in Calvin Johnson’s absence, but it’s tough to sell season ticket holders on CJ Spiller, Kendall Wright, and Delanie Walker. Ann Arbor Bamfers need an infusion of young talent, asap!

Knights Who Say Ni
Another Bad Creation -2(13): Aaron Rodgers (3) Marshawn Lynch (3) LeSean McCoy (2) Joique Bell (1)  Andre Johnson (2) Vincent Jackson (2)
Jedi Knights -1(12): Peyton Manning (3) Alfred Morris (2) Emmanuel Sanders (2) TY Hilton (2) Marques Colston (1) Greg Olsen (2)
Original Salt +0(10): Ben Roethlisberger (3) Matt Forte (2) Roddy White (2) Doug Baldwin (1) Jordan Cameron (2) Ravens Def (0)
P Funk All Stars +0(8): Joe Flacco (1) Derek Carr (1) Ryan Mathews (1) DeSean Jackson (2) Michael Floyd (2) Eric Ebron (1)

Another Bad Creation suffered an embarrassing first round upset last season but they are still strong contenders even despite their setback. The trade for LeSean McCoy during the great Mandalorian Warriors firesale of Oct 2014 could pay off this season, and that would give Marshawn Lynch a great running mate — unless Joique Bell can finally stay healthy. Aaron Rodgers will challenge for the best fantasy player inn the land and he’ll have aging Andre Johnson and Vincent Jackson to throw to. Overall, Oliver’s squad is almost certainly headed into the post-season, its just a matter of what his team can do once they get there.

And if we’re gonna talk about upsets that sting, how about last year’s 12-1 team, Jedi Knights, that romped through the regular season — starting 2014 on a nine game win streak — before getting upended by eventual champion Original Salt?! Chris will be looking for revenge this season and will ride Peyton Manning as far as he can go in his twilight years. Last season’s first round pick, TY Hilton, was a steal, and Emmanuel Sanders replaced Wes Welker on the Jedis and the Broncos. Both are borderline fantasy stars and Sanders’ value should increase with our new PPR rules. The corpse of Marques Colston is still around, and Greg Olsen replaces Jason Witten at tight end. The lone holdover RB, Alfred Morris, is steady but not spectacular, but that should be enough to get Jedi back into contention.

You just don’t expect a team that ends the season on a 0-5 slide to squeak into the playoffs and then pull off the greatest post-season upsets in Maize and Blue history. BUT THAT’S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAME! We don’t need to recap Original Salt’s run to the title, but it was spectacular. (Frankly, I might have considered retirement from fantasy after a run like that.) Ben Roethlisberger led the NFL in passing yards last season and he’ll lead this veteran team in its back-to-back title defense. Matt Forte is still a top back, if not exactly elite, and Roddy White, Doug Baldin, and Jordan Cameron all return with shiny championship rings on their hands. Ravens DST is the sixth keeper here, a strange decision. Sure, they were a top defense last season but we just can’t get behind keeping defenses. Wouldn’t taking a flier on just about anyone on the roster be worth it? Then again, who are we to question the defending champs? Nobody, that’s who! Let’s see if Reno can continue his magical run. Last thing: We feel like Reno should make a division name change, I mean, he should just call it “Reno Reno Reno” or something after his jaw dropping title run.

After challenging for a division title in 2013, the bottom dropped out for P Funk All Stars as they found themselves with only two wins last season. Joe Flacco is back for another go-around, this time joined by Derek Carr on the keeper list. (It’s always a winning solution to bring in two sub-20 ranked QBs in a sixteen team keeper, right?) There’s not a single star player on this roster, unless you want to count on Michael Floyd smoothly taking over for Larry Fitzgerald in Arizona. DeSean Jackson is still a nice deep threat but he’s boom-bust as always. The light has gone out on the Ryan Mathews train, and TE Eric Ebron has the skills but not the track record. Overall, P Funk faces a long climb back to respectively. Then again, they surprised us two years with a keeper roster far worse than this, so anything could happen.

Top Five Keeper Cores

1. *Fockers (15): We’ve seen keeper cores with 17 scores before, but *Fockers score out at the top this year with a mere fifteen. Mortagaging the future enabled them to add a third gold caliber player in Dez Bryant and this team is ready to win now.
2. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (14): It’s a shame Tom Brady could miss four games, otherwise this could be the top team in the league with Eddie Lacy, Calvin Johnson and some promising side parts.
3. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (14): Last year’s #1 overall, Brandin Cooks, will get his chance to shine but most of this grade is out of respect to Jimmy Graham, but if he slips even a little, Pooh Bears rank slightly lower.
4. Detroit Players (13): The only team without a QB on its keeper roster, Players have an outstanding collection of running backs, as well as AJ Green and breakout candidates in sophomore WRs Martavis Bryant and Jarvis Landry
5. Another Bad Creation (13): Aaron Rodgers and Marshawn Lynch are both studs, and everyone else here is above average serviceable. That’s enough to get a top five keeper ranking.

2015 Keeper Analysis: Eastern Conference

Alright, as we embark on yet another exciting season of Maize and Blue, we have a new set of keepers, as well as new rules that maybe affected a few keeper decisions? Let's take a look! And as always, we sort out the keepers into gold/silver/bronze status and here's the keeper spreadsheet. [2014 East | West]

The Wood
*Fockers +2(15): Andrew Luck (3) Le’Veon Bell (3) LeGarrette Blount (2) Demaryius Thomas (3) Dez Bryant (3) Davante Adams (1)
100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears -2(14): Cam Newton (2) Carlos Hyde (2) Antonio Brown (3) Mike Evans (2) Brandin Cooks (1) Jimmy Graham (3)
Italian Stallionz +1(12): Matthew Stafford (2) Jamaal Charles (3) Andre Ellington (2) DeAndre Hopkins (2) Brandon Marshall (2) Mike Wallace (1)
Squirtle Squad -2(12): Ryan Tannehill (1) Adrian Peterson (3) Justin Forsett (2) Randall Cobb (3) Keenan Allen (2) Allen Robinson (1)

It’s been all uphill since Hong took over the reins from Eric and went from the Human Amoebas to *Fockers. After two seasons of steady contention, and a Super Bowl showing last year, GM Hong pushed all his chips into the middle of the table in an effort to take that final step toward a title. On paper, this team is the early favorite. Andrew Luck and Le’Veon Bell are (not very arguably) the best options at their position. Heading into the keeper declaration, Hong was facing a slight dip in talent — Montee Ball was a slated keeper — but he pulled off a blockbuster at the last minute, acquiring Dez Bryant and Davante Adams from 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears. Adding Bryant and Adams to Demaryius Thomas makes this the best receiving corps in the league. Who else has two top five WRs on their team? Nobody!? If RB#2 LeGarrette Blount can stay healthy, he’ll pound in touchdowns for the Patriots and help lead *Fockers on their “win now” path.

Our champ from two years ago had an incredible keeper core heading into 2014 but couldn’t defend their title. Instead of pushing hard for another championship, Jose seems to have decided to restock for the future. They still have Antonio Brown as an all-world receiver but Dez Bryant has been shipped out (for an enormous future haul) and he’ll be flanked by last year’s #1 overall pick, Brandin Cooks, as well as last year’s rookie TD machine, Mike Evans. Carlos Hyde will get a starting job this year, replacing Shane Vareen as a keeper, and of course Cam Newton and Jimmy Graham are still around. The big question is if Graham can maintain his elite TE status with the Seahawks. Either way, Pooh Bears are still a talented team and will fight in the toughest division in the land.

If you’ve been watching Hard Knocks, you’re probably convinced that DeAndre Hopkins is going to be a franchise caliber receiver. He looks amazing, doesn’t he? And what style too! The Italian Stallionz sure hope Hopkins is ready to dominate, and despite a down season from Matthew Stafford, the addition of Brandon Marshall should give Stafford a new target, alongside deep threat Mike Wallace. Jamaal Charles is a contender for the best RB around, and maybe the Andre Ellington hype train hasn’t fully left the station, but was just delayed a bit. Does Porta's team have enough to build on last year's 8-5 record?

Squirtle Squad went 4-9 last year and know they have an uphill battle to climb back into the post-season. Out goes Zac Stacy, Josh Gordon, and Julius Thomas. In comes Ryan Tannehill, Justin Forsett, and Allen Robinson. Robinson basically had a lost rookie season but he showed flashes of being very good. And while Forsett had a surprise breakout year, it’ll be a relief for Brian to have Adrian Peterson back on the field following his suspension. Morals, schmorals, show me the touchdowns AP! Plus, Cobb is going to catch 200+ balls now that Jordy Nelson is out for the year, perfect for our new 0.5PPR rules!

Sum Dum Goy (Lebowski Achievers)
Detroit Players +2(13): DeMarco Murray (3) Jeremy Hill (2) Mark Ingram (2) AJ Green (3) Martavis Bryant (2) Jarvis Landry (1)
Sweep the Leg Zabka +3(13): Eli Manning (2) Latavius Murray (1) Odell Beckham Jr (3) Sammy Watkins (2) Kelvin Benjamin (2) Rob Gronkowski (3)
Mandalorian Warriors -4(11): Drew Brees (3) CJ Anderson (3) Ray Rice (0) Larry Fitzgerald (2) Julian Edelman (2) Dwayne Allen (1)
Shoguns of Harlem -3(10): Tony Romo (2) Arian Foster (2) Alshon Jeffery (3) Jeremy Maclin (2) Tyler Eifert (1) Texans Def (0)

What is this madness! Detroit Players have the best keeper core in the division AND they are adding the #1 overall pick in this draft?! Ariel’s team went 6-5-2 last year but missed the playoffs despite a lot of great breaks for them. DeMarco Murray has a monster season, Jeremy Hill and Mark Ingram were both wonderful, and even though AJ Green was dinged up, he should be back to elite form again. Plus, Detroit Players added young WRs Martavis Bryant and Jarvis Landry to the mix, repalcing Zach Ertz and Kyle Rudolph. With a deep RB and WR core, the only question is which QB will be tapped to carry this team now that Robert Griffin III is on the outs.

In his rookie year as owner, Alan piloted Sweep the Leg Zabka to a 8-5 record and a playoff showing. Very impressive! Plus, Alan transformed a roster that was mostly old and boring to one that is full of promise and excitement. He hit huge on a trio of rookie receivers: Odell Beckham Jr, Sammy Watkins, and Kelvin Benjamin. (Sure, Benjamin is out now but he’s still a great keeper.) And Beckham and Watkins should be stars for years to come. Latavius Murray is unproven but he’s more exciting the all three backs Alan had kept last season: Maurice Jones-Drew, Knowshon Moreno, Rashad Jennings -- the latter two via pre-2014 draft trade. Eli Manning replaces Andy Dalton at the helm and we’re predicting another great year for Sweep the Leg Zabka. No beginner’s luck here!

Remember when Mandalorian Warriors were the most feared team in the league? They had the best keepers, an endless future, and a title to boot. Now, the mighty Warriors have dropped to Earth. And the ride has not been smooth. If you had told me Warriors would go 5-8 two years after their title, I would have spit in your face! GM Matt realized his team was no good and launched into a full rebuild last October, shipping out LeSean McCoy, Brandon Marshall, Greg Olson, Chris Ivory, and Seahawks DST all in one week. So it’s no surprise that their keeper core is quite diminished, wit the likes of Dwayne Allen now on the keeper roster. Still, Broncos RB CJ Anderson was a find last season, and Larry Fitzgerald and Julian Edelman are reliable pass catchers. Drew Brees can still be a force and it’ll be interesting to see if he’ll be around to enjoy the benefits of the rebuild. And how about Matt keeping Ray Rice, who is currently still out of the NFL… Bold move!

Last year's division winner from the former Lebowski Achievers is ranked at the bottom of keeper talent rankings? What gives! Is this just disrespect? To that we say, “sum dum goy!” Mike’s team will still feature the threesome of Tony Romo, Arian Foster, and Alshon Jeffery but Ben Tate, Chris Johnson, and Vernon Davis are out. Tyler Eifert and um, Texans DST are in! (I have to give big fat zeros to any DST that’s kept, sorry, personal policy.) Jeremy Maclin came back strong from his injury last season to post a career season and maybe he can put up another nice showing with the Chiefs. However, with Foster sidelined for possibly the first eight weeks, it’ll take a Herculean effort for these Shoguns to repeat as division champs. Then again, sum dum goy!

Rules Changes: 2015

Hey! Remember a year ago when we had a vote on possible new rules? Well, here we are, at the precipice of the 2015 season and all those new rules are about to go into effect! Let’s take a look, by order of how many “yes” votes each rule garnered. Remember, it was majority rule for something new passing, meaning it took nine votes to get something approved...

1. Flex Position: TE Eligibility (15 "yes" votes)
The flex position will now expand to include TE along with RB/WR. Trivia: Our one dissenter here was Oliver!

2. Use Fees for the League URL (13)
We still don’t have a URL, and we haven’t collected fees in awhile, but it’s good to know we’re mostly on the same page here!

3. First Overall Draft Pick is determined by Toilet Bowl (11)
Yes, a Toilet Bowl is coming after the 2015 regular season! That means no more lottery and it’ll take some real effort to win that coveted #1 overall draft pick. Wait, is the loser of the Toilet Bowl awarded the #2 overall pick? We should clarify Toilet Bowl rules and seedings. As an example, here is what we use in my other keeper league for Toilet Bowl rules. Mainly we have to decide if matchups are conference specific or if they re-seed according to power ranking or something. Regardless, hooray, a Toilet Bowl to prevent tanking and amp up owner engagement!

[Edit 12/12/18: Toilet Bowl is not conference exclusive, so we re-seed #9-16 regardless of conference. However, we keep the same matchups regardless of upsets, and don't re-shuffle each round. Ex) If #16 seed upsets #9 in RD1, they don't have to face #10 in RD2.]

4. 1/2 Point Per Reception (9)
Nine “yes” votes took us into PPR land, and then twelve “yes” gave us half a point per reception (rounded up or down?) when we asked the second part of the question: "If PPR is approved, half point?” So yeah, this is the rule with likely the biggest impact and it passed by just a smidge!

5. FG Scoring Change (9)
We will now adjust FG scoring to the following:

• FG from 0-49 yards = 3 points
• FG from 50+ yards = 4 points

Note: Previously the rule was that 50+ yarders got five points, and 40-49 yarders were worth four.

Moving forward, how do we change rules, is there a yearly review, bi-yearly? For the record, these were the rules that didn’t pass. Along with some suggestions below.

REJECTED:

• Add Starting Flex (8 "yes" votes)
• TD Pass Scoring Change (7)
• Fractional Scoring (6)
• Missed FG Penalty (6)
• Add Starting RB (6)
• Add Starting WR (3)
• Free Agent Auction Bidding system (3)

SUGGESTIONS:

• Using the Toilet Bowl to determine draft order for next year, but still keeping the lottery system for the first overall pick.
• Increasing the number of keepers. One owner proposed that if a RB or WR or Flex position is added, then we consider increasing the number of keepers.
• Another suggestion is that missed FGs 50+ yards do not count as negative, but all else do.