ROUND ONEThe last two years featured rookie running backs plucked at #1 — Trent Richardson and Le’Veon Bell — but this time it was rookie receiver Brandin Cooks who went number one overall to defending champ 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears. Right after Cooks was another rookie WR, Buffalo’s Sammy Watkins, who went to the new ownership group behind Sweep the Leg Zabka. (Not having an owner on auto-draft sure is an upgrade in competitiveness already! Recall Tartars’ horrific auto-drafting last season...) In fact, it wasn’t until pick 1.6 that a rookie RB was drafted, Carlos Hyde followed immediately by Bishop Sankey.
Fockers had two first rounders and he went for pure upside with Sankey and Ladarius Green, Antonio Gates’ successor at tight end. CBS’s auto-generated draft recap gave Fockers the best draft review: "True football glory is months away, but Fockers have given themselves the best chance of achieving it, winding up with the top ranked draft.” Wow, can a computer be right? Are Hong and Eric’s team really the best? The CBS projected worst team in the league, P Funk All Stars, had three first rounders, and Paolo went for home run picks also, with Eric Ebron (1.11), rookie Terrance West (1.14), and Christine Michael (1.16). Here’s hoping all three work out, as P Funk needs a talent infusion immediately.
There’s a chance that Toby Gerhart (1.5) could be the steal of the draft, as he has a starting gig in Jacksonville. Of course, he was an auto-pick, just like Jay Cutler up at 1.3 by Original Salt. That could work out well, as Reno’s team is looking for a starting QB after letting Philip Rivers walk in the off-season. A move we lauded in the keeper preview. Rivers will be taking his resurgent career to Squirtle Squad this season. Brian’s team ended last season with Ryan Tannehill and Jay Cutler on his roster, so basically Reno and Brian are just swapping starting signal callers this season.
Shoguns of Harlem took Jeremy Maclin very high at 1.4, bypassing all the young talent this year for Philadelphia’s new number one option. Two more young-ish receiving vets went in the first round: Golden Tate (Ann 1.9) and T.Y. Hilton (Jedi Knights, 1.13). Both are number two options on their respective teams, but could put up big numbers anyway. The rest of the draft included an auto-pick of Patriots defense at 1.12 by Detroit Players and the last rookie running back of any value, Devonta Freeman at 1.15 by MoRRie’s Pogiboys.
ROUND TWOAdding to their riches, 100 Acre Pooh Bears had three second round picks. They grabbed rookie receiver Mike Evans (2.1) and then Teddy Bridgewater (2.10) and Johnny Manziel (2.14) to corner the market on rookie QBs. What, no Blake Bortles here?
Sweep the Leg Zabka added another hyped rookie receiver, Kelvin Benjamin (2.2) to Watkins, while Original Salt backed up Jay Cutler with Ben Roethlisberger (2.3). Drafting right after Shoguns of Harlem, I noticed how often he would take players I wanted, such as Justin Hunter at pick 2.4. That forced team retread Darren Sproles at 2.5 for Hungry Ourobouros, followed by sophomore receiver Markus Wheaton at 2.6 for Another Bad Creation, making Wheaton ABC's first draft pick since they didn’t have a first rounder. Italian Stallionz also got on the 2014 draft board with rookie receiver Marqise Lee at 2.7. Next, Fockers drafted old favorite Carson Palmer, despite having the indestructible Andrew Luck at quarterback. Curious move. MoRRie’s Pogiboys went old, Dwayne Bowe (2.9), and then young with rookie RB Khiry Robinson (2.11) with his two second round picks.
The bottom of the second round featured the now very well positioned rookie RB Jeremy Hill (2.13) to Detroit Players and a shot in the dark by Jedi Knights at Lamar Miller (2.14). Mandalorian Warriors got the consensus defense, Seahawks with the second-to-last pick, while Ann Arbor Bamfers took Heath Miller to clean up.
ROUND THREEConspicuously missing from all this drafting action was Team Cameltoe, who had the highest draft slot due to last year’s horrific 2-11 record, but their first two picks of 2014 were traded to Pooh Bears — including the #1 overall. And in a scary look at the future, Pooh Bears owns Cameltoe’s 2015 RD1&2, 2016 RD1, and 2017 RD1&2 picks. So um, enjoy drafting in the third round for awhile Felipe! With his first pick this year, Felipe decided to auto-draft and pulled up rookie Andre Williams, who actually isn’t a bad pick at all, as he could start for the Giants sooner than later.
We originally lauded Original Salt for not keeping a quarterback and freeing up a slot for position players, but if Reno is going to go QB-QB-QB with his first three picks anyway, it seems like he should have just kept a signal caller at the expense of using his draft on Cutler, Roethlisberger, and now Ryan Tannehill (3.3). Then again, maybe QBs are flying off the board in round three, with Jake Locker (3.4), the now ACL-torn Sam Bradford (3.12), Alex Smith (3.15), and Blake Bortles (3.16) all gone by the end. Round three also seemed like when the top defenses were drafted, with ABC taking Cardinals (3.6), Bamfers snagging Rams (3.9), and Jedi Knights with Browns (3.13).
As for the non QB/DSTs, it was high upside receiver Jordan Matthews at 3.2 for Squirtle Squad, followed by a vet RB run of Pierre Thomas, LeGarrette Blount, and Danny Woodhead — the latter both by Fockers in consecutive picks. Youngsters Kenny Stills and Odell Beckham (P Funk’s first third-rounder, he took Bradford one pick later) were happy to be taken up high, and old warhorse Reggie Wayne (3.14) will get a chance for a title with Pooh Bears.
ROUND FOURWe reviewed through five rounds in 2012, and then four rounds in 2013, so it would make sense to stop at RD3 for this year, but we’ll forge on ahead! After all, it’s the middle rounds where mega-value is created. Maybe super sleeper Travis Kelce (4.15) is Pogiboys’ next great tight end? Or perhaps David Carr (P Funk, 4.11) will emerge as the best fantasy quarterback of his class. Heck, there’s a chance Bryce Brown (4.10) could emerge out of Buffalo’s crowded backfield. Okay, maybe not.
Actually, let’s just look at some interesting picks during this round and the next two. We like Arian Foster’s handcuff, second year RB Jonathan Grimes (4.3). Charles Clay to Another Bad Creation at 4.6. We think Cecil Shorts (4.16) could be a steal for Warriors, if Shorts can return to form. And then we have intriguing TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins (5.13), which started a run of three straight Tampa Bay players: Seferian-Jenkins, Buccaneers defense, and Josh McCown. That’s when you know it’s getting dirty, when the lowly Bucs start to get combed over for talent!
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