2018 East / Gold: Green and White

 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (2-11, 3-10)
We thought 2016’s three-win season was bad? How about two wins?! Two years in a row of the worst record in the league — albeit tied for worst last season — and the Armada doesn’t strike fear in anybody. The good news is last year’s number one selection, Christian McCaffrey is set up for a big sophomore year and there’s hope that keepers Derrick Henry and Kenyan Drake will give this team at least a bit of punch in the run game. Kenny Golladay has talent, and is similar to a young Alshon Jeffery, but this receiving corps is unproven. Toward that end, GM Mike took the gamble on Josh Gordon at 1.3, and that will go a long way toward determining if Xur can climb out of the cellar.

We like sleeper tight end Trey Burton (2.2) and Sterling Shepard (3.2) but am wondering why the double defense, Eagles (4.2) and Packers (9.2). Surely there was other talent to mine? Still, this team is set up get at least four wins this season, and if Matthew Stafford stumbles, Eli Manning will be there to back him up. Let’s hope for the best for Xur this season!

Mandalorian Warriors (4-8-1, 6-7)
Another Gold division team going backwards, Warriors have sunk to four wins and haven’t had a winning season since 2013. Matt again had no RD1 this season, and entered the draft with Case Keenum as their starter, so it made sense to grab Matt Ryan (2.14) with their second rounder — recall that Aaron Rodgers was essentially gifted away at the beginning of last season, as neither Marcus Mariota nor Davonte Freeman made the keeper cut.

The Warriors seem to be in win now mode though, as they stretched for Stephen Gostkowski (3.5) early and none of the following picks express much upside — Theo Riddick (5.5) and oft-injured Tyler Eifert (6.5). In fact the biggest future play Warriors made was in selecting controversial quarterback Josh Allen (8.5), who will now play third string. The once mighty keeper core is getting older, with Pierre Garcon and Julian Edelman as its big names, and while JuJu Smith-Schuster and tight end Cameron Brate could be good, it seems like this teams needs talent now! Oh right, there’s also James White as the third-down back here. Should we pencil Warriors in for another Toilet Bowl?

Stink Pink Gators (9-4, 7-6)
It looks like Dave’s first season in Maize and Blue was a complete success! Finishing as a top five team and leading MnB in scoring, Stink Pink’s rookie season was derailed by a Carson Wentz injury and a first-round exit to the eventual champs. Not bad for a first showing!

The passing attack of Wentz, AJ Green, Jarvis Landry, Zach Ertz, and rookie find Adam Thielen looks fantastic, and a pre-draft trade to bring in Jay Ajayi and dump Mark Ingram officially makes this team the MnB Eagles. If anyone has any spare Eagles, trade them to Stink Pink now! The ground game could be further bolstered by Dave’s first three selections: Rashaad Penny (1.12), Peyton Barber (2.12), and Jordan Wilkins (3.12). Alex Smith and Jack Doyle are overqualified backups and we love Keelan Cole (6.12) as a late pick.  It looks like Stink Pink could challenge for the division title yet again!

Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-3-1, 9-4)
It took four years and two shots at it, but Alan has finally reached the apex of Maize and Blue. Last year’s thrilling comeback in Super Bowl XIII was the stuff of dreams and now Sweep the Leg will have Odell Beckham back for the whole season. The sky’s the limit here! Drew Brees will have ODB, Rob Gronkowski, Marvin Jones, and Sammy Watkins to throw to, with Devonta Freeman providing a strong ground game. Will the league ever hear the end of it if Alan wins again?!

Sweep went for high value veterans in the draft, taking the entire Jets backfield, Isaiah Crowell (3.14) and Bilal Powell (4.6) in back-to-back rounds, and then filled out the roster with some speculative receivers and Andy Dalton (6.14) and Blake Bortles (8.7), just in case Brees stumbles. The best pick from our 2017 champs though? The draft-and-stash of Derrius Guice (1.14), which gives Alan something to look forward to after their possible repeat title. League beware… Is a dynasty around the corner?

2018 West / White: The Big House

Team Cameltoe (6-7, 5-8)
In the last eight seasons, Cameltoe has gone over 0.500 just once, in 2015 — they did win the division in 2014 though. Last year’s six wins was better than 2017, but not by much. Getting upset by Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada in the first round of the Toilet Bowl was painful too, and not having yet another first rounder hampered their chances at top talent. Still, we like Felipe’s draft of Devin Funchess (2.7), Christian Kirk (3.7), and Cameron Meredith (4.7). Should just one of them hit, keeper quarterback duo Russell Wilson and Jared Goff will have an extra piece to throw to, on top of Julio Jones and Jordy Nelson [Edit: Actually Jordy is on Zabka, Marlon Mack was Cameltoe's sixth keeper.]

Jordan Howard is a great power runner but doesn’t catch many passes, and that seems to be a theme for Cameltoe running backs, as neither keeper CJ Anderson nor Adrian Peterson (5.7) are known for their smooth pass catching skills. There’s some talent on this team but we’ll have to see if coach Felipe can get them to a winning season and pilot Cameltoe back to proper respectability.

Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6, 9-4)
The Bamfers have been to the playoffs back-to-back before, but 2012-13 was on the heels of five and six win seasons. It must feel good then to not only go the playoffs back-to-back, but finally have repeat winning seasons! However, Randy’s crew has run into Pogiboys three times in their last three playoff appearances and been bounced by Pogi each time.

The Chargers duo of Philip Rivers and Melvin Gordon are very nice, while Golden Tate and Delanie Walker are solid options at their position. 2017’s late pick Allen Hurns got injured but showed enough to become a keeper, however Randall Cobb’s days of fantasy relevance could be close to over. With that in mind, Randy went with some young receivers and tight ends in the draft: Marqise Lee (3.10), Tyrell Williams (5.10), Quincy Enunwa (10.10), Mike Gesicki (7.1), and Benjamin Watson (9.10) — who is okay, not that young at thirty-seven.

We have to question the selection of two kickers though! Greg Zuerlein (4.10) is great but why bring in Steeler Chris Boswell (6.10) two rounds later? Still, Bamfers has proven its winning ways and first round pick Sony Michel could prove to be a nice addition to the backfield too. Let’s hope Bamfers don’t disappear from contention after two solid campaigns!

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6, 4-9)
After never getting more than five wins in a season, Ouroboros finally put together a winning record — in their sixth year of ownership, ouch. And not only that, skipped la-dee-la all the way to the champion game, coming within a few points of taking the title! All it took for this franchise turnaround? A Toilet Bowl win in 2016 and the trade up in 2015 for Todd Gurley. Even if the trade down of 2017’s top pick resulted in an injured Dalvin Cook and erratic Joe Mixon, this keeper core suddenly has some oomph on the ground. In fact, the entire keeper core consisted of Dak Prescott, Jacksonville defense, and three running backs.

Pre-draft but post-keeper, Jon moved up the draft board again, moving Jerick McKinnon to Pogiboys for essentially Calvin Ridley (1.5) and Larry Fitzgerald. Ouroboros used their own first rounder on rookie Ronald Jones (1.7) and then moved to grab some receivers to flesh out this passing game: Robby Anderson (2.9) and Josh Doctson (3.9). Two more rookie runners joined the team, Nyheim Hines (4.9) and Karen Ballage (5.9) so it’s looking likely Jon is just going to put out an all-RB team. Can Ouroboros sustain their success or were they just a flash in the pan?

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4, 9-4)
Yawn. Pogiboys won a division for the eleventh time, they were looking for a title, they got upset in the playoffs. What else is new? For Alvin’s team, a ring is the only thing. The core is fantastic, with DeAndre Hopkins and Travis Kelce rising to the tops of their respective positions, and bolstered by LeSean McCoy in the backfield, and underrated Doug Baldwin, this team has the goods. Larry Fitzgerald was shipped out for Jerick McKinnon and the new man under center is Patrick Mahomes, who replaces Matt Ryan and could face a quarterback battle from NFL #1 overall Baker Mayfield (4.15)

The draft also brought in Tarik Cohen (2.3), Chris Thompson (2.13), John Brown (4.13), Dede Westbrook (5.13), John Ross (6.13), D’Onta Foreman (7.9), and the Zabka favorite Jake Butt (7.13), but will any of this matter? When it hits December, how will these Pogis perform?

2018 East / Blue: Ohana

Italian Stallionz (4-9, 6-7)
The road back to respectability is filled with potholes, as Stallionz went from five wins in 2015, six wins in 2016, and then dipped to four wins in 2017. The good news is Porta’s team has Aaron Rodgers. Plus Tyreek Hill, who is a threat to score every time he touches the ball. The bad news is, that might be about it. Keepers Tevin Coleman and Jamaal Williams project as split-time backs, Michael Crabtree is now an old Raven, and I literally have no idea who sixth keeper Austin Ekeler is. (Then again, this prognosticator kept a DST so who am I to say anything!)

Stallionz need some talent fast and they got it, with Alex Collins (1.4), Chris Carson (2.5), and Rishard Matthews (3.3). All three are starters on their teams and could become productive pieces immediately. Later picks like rookie Tre’Quan Smith (4.3), retread Ryan Grant (6.3), and DJ Chark are shots in the dark but perfect for this team. If Rodgers can return to form, Stallionz could hit on the right pieces and go from the bottom of the cellar to challenging for their first ever division title. Let’s go!

Fockers (7-6, 7-6)
Seven wins got Fockers to a title in 2016 but that same win total dumped them into the Toilet Bowl last season, and then they were upset by a lower seed. Still, this is a contender, and with a keeper core of Le’Veon Bell, Demaryius Thomas, last year’s great RD1 Davante Adams, and Jimmy Graham, Fockers could easily get back into the playoffs. Andrew Luck has to stay healthy though, no questions asked, and without a first or third rounder this year, GM Hong took Ben Roethlisberger (2.8) early, another oft-injured quarterback.

Matt Breida (4.8) could serve as an injury replacement if McKinnon gets dinged up, LeGarrette Blount (5.8) will score touchdowns, and maybe Latavius Murray (8.8) has some grind left. Receivers Mohamed Sanu and Travis Benjamin are low end options but likely useable in a pinch. This team is still dangerous so we’ll see where Hong can take them this year behind some Luck. Oh yeah, Dez Bryant was a keeper. Dez Bryant, who isn’t yet on a NFL team… Didn’t want to keep Devin Funchess or Dion Lewis, or really, anyone else?!?

Squirtle Squad (8-5, 4-9)
The rebuild off a four-win 2017 may already be over! Squirtles catapulted themselves to a playoff spot last season and then promptly upset first seed 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears in the first round! That’s a hell of a season and Squirtles fans are ready to claim their contender status again.

The new keeper core is young young young, and already very productive. Of course Alvin Kamara’s rookie year was the highlight but the return to form of Keenan Allen was a highlight too. Amari Cooper and last year’s first rounder, Corey Davis, are still a little boom-bust, but they are both very talented. Allen Robinson has been very erratic but he could be interesting. And heck, GM Brian was so confident in Jimmy Garoppolo’s future that he traded Tom Brady away for a pittance.

Brian liked the “go young” strategy so much that he went that way again, with rookie Nick Chubb (1.11), Anthony Miller, another rookie Courtlant Sutton (4.11), and some no-names like Ricky Seals-Jones (5.11) and James Conner (6.11) that clearly have upside potential if Squirtles drafted them -- plus Duke Johnson (4.5) acquired from an earlier trade with Mandalorian Warriors. And then with in the last round, Brian draft-and-stashed Hunter Henry, a brilliant move. Welcome back Squirtles to the land of the living!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3, 10-3)
It’s been a long four years since Pooh Bears have won their last title. A ninth division title is nice but getting bounced in the first round is not. After yet another year as the best regular season team in Maize and Blue, J and Jayvee are thirsting for more rings. Last year’s campaign even featured the suspension of Ezekiel Elliot and the absence of David Johnson. This year Pooh’s ceiling might be an undefeated season!

Cam Newton and Deshaun Watson are back to lead the charge — although only one can play at a time — and Johnson/Elliot plus Antonio Brown and Mike Evans are clearly the best combination of skill position core in MnB. With seven picks in this year’s first three rounds Pooh Bears should be overstocked with talent.

Rookie DJ Moore (1.8) and Marquise Goodwin (1.9), plus David Njoku (1.16) in the first. Another rookie wide, Antonio Callway (2.16) in the second. And then Kenny Stills, Tyler Lockett, and Corey Clement in RD3, all youngish veterans with potential. Pooh had another seven picks in the draft after those first three rounds, but really, who cares! If this team can’t win another title soon, what justice is there in the world?!

2018 West / Red: Knights Who Say Ni

P Funk All Stars (2-11, 9-4)
When did this division get so awful? P Funk actually won the 2016 division title behind a nine win campaign but then promptly collapsed to the worst team in the league — that was their fourth two-win season, plus two one-win seasons. We’re gonna go ahead and say that 2016 was an outlier and treat P Funk as still rebuilding.

Paolo’s keepers have never been good, and this year is no different. Derek Carr is looking for a bounce back year — devoid of Amari Cooper, who was traded away early in 2017 — and Marshawn Lynch and Lamar Miller as the starting backfield won’t sell many tickets. DaVante Parker could get more work with Jarvis Landry gone in Miami, and Evan Engram is a decent tight end, and sure, pre-draft acquisition Kelvin Benjamin is okay, but what’s to get excited about here?

How about an all-in young guy makeover!? Yes! With high picks all over, GM Paolo took Royce Freeman (1.2), Sam Darnold (2.1), and Cooper Kupp (2.11) off the board. Not bad! But then the auto-draft started in RD5, as P Funk nabbed two kickers and a defense in RD5-7. Well, we are at least semi-excited about Martavis Bryant’s (10.1) comeback potential in Oakland?

Team Grrrrific (4-9, 4-9)
Inheriting a team that hasn’t had a winning record since 2011 ain’t easy but new owner Donny was up to the challenge. While the wins remained the same, Team Grrrrific’s core looks, dare I say it, terrific! I mean, when you draft at the top of the draft — after Grrrrific’s 2017 Toilet Bowl win — and get the consensus number-one player, Saquon Barkley, your rebuild path is going to get a lot brighter.

Combine Barkley with last year’s spot-on trade acquisition of Kareem Hunt, plus this year’s pre-draft trade for Mark Ingram, and this running game is looking incredibly solid. Is there better one-two punches in the league? Not many! We’ll see how quarterback keeper Marcus Mariota fares as the starter, and if he stumbles, Donny was careful to invest only a lowly pick on his backup, Tyrod Taylor (10.4).

Mariota will have some intriguing receiving pieces to work with in injury returnee Mike Williams,  new New England white guy Chris Hogan, and deep threat Will Fuller. The draft added Robert Woods (2.4), Jamison Crowder (3.4), and OJ Howard (4.4) and perpetual tease Austin Seferian-Jenkins (8.4). THere’s injury risks everywhere but this team is suddenly chock-full of talent and it’s been an incredibly fast rebuild. To think, just one year ago this team’s best keeper was Isaiah Crowell! The days of four-win seasons are likely way over in Grrrrific-land!

Jedi Knights (5-8, 4-9)
Once upon a time, the Jedis were good. We were hoping 2016’s four-win season was just an aberration but a five-win follow up proves it: the Sith are winning. But GM Chris isn’t going down without a fight. In a soft division, just acquiring Tom Brady, via pre-draft trade, could be enough to challenge Another Bad Creation. There’s still a lot of fall-out from the disastrous 2015 trade for Marshawn Lynch and Chris didn’t get a pick until RD3.

Still, we love the selection of Lamar Jackson (5.6) as the Brady replacement — even if Mitchell Trubisky was also tagged as a keeper — and Nelson Agholor (3.6) can run fast, but really a keeper core of TY Hilton, Emmanuel Sanders, Greg Olsen, and Carlos Hyde won’t scare anyone, that’s for sure. Can later picks Paul Richardson (6.6), Giovani Bernard (9.6), and Doug Martin (10.6) prove that they just aren’t low ceiling guys? Yup, it looks like it’ll be up to Brady to lead this ragtag bunch back to 0.500.

Another Bad Creation (10-3, 8-5)
Winning must be easy when the rest of your division only combines for eleven wins. ABC had an incredible 2015 title run, while ostensibly “rebuilding,” and now they are just milking all their extra draft picks. Three first rounders produced rookie Kerryon Johnson (1.6), Brandin Cooks (1.13), and Dion Lewis (1.15). Another spare RD2 netted rookie receiver Michael Gallup, who could soon take over in Cowboy land. Add in tight end George Kittle (3.15) and ABC’s first few draft picks might be better than some of our keeper cores!

Oliver’s real team boasts last year’s number one overall, Leonard Fournette, an explosive duo of Michael Thomas and Stefon Diggs, and perhaps the injury return to form of Jordan Reed. Rex Burkhead is a decent pass-catching option, and Kirk Cousins finally got out from under a franchise tag and will now stop complaining. Add in a guy named Geronimo (6.15) and this presumptive division champs are ready for title contention again!

Draft Review 2018

Much like the NBA draft -- and just like last year -- we’re only going two rounds here. For all our sanities. [Draft Order 2018]

ROUND ONE
There was a clear number one this season as Toilet Bowl winner Donny used Team Grrrrific’s well-deserved 2018 1.1 on Saquon Barkley. Easy pick! And since there were a whole bunch of speculative rookie running backs this year but no consensus number two, we wondered who would go next. Paolo rolled the dice on Denver’s new RB, Royce Freeman.

Then to the shock of us all, Mike of Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada grabbed Josh Gordon at 1.3! Talk about rolling the dice!?! Italian Stallions fiddled with trading down but took Ravens runner Alex Collins instead of a rookie back, opening the door for a trade from Hungry Ouroboros that netted them 1.5 and 1.7, with rookies Calvin Ridley and Ronald Jones being selected.

Speaking of multiple picks, 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears and Another Bad Creation both had three apiece -- Oliver's ABC had four in last year's first round. Pooh Bears took rookie receiver DJ Moore (1.8), Marquise Goodwin (1.9), and rising tight end David Njoku (1.16) to clean up the first round. ABC grabbed this year’s Lions’ running hope, Kerryon Johnson at 1.6, and then followed that up with two former Patriots, Brandin Cooks (1.13) and Dion Lewis (1.15).

Our four remaining first rounders were all rookie running backs: Sony Michel (1.10 - Ann Arbor Bamfers), Nick Chubb (1.11 - Squirtle Squad), Rashaad Penny (1.12 - Stink Pink Gators), and our defending champs, Sweep the Leg Zabka, with a selection of out-for-the-season Derrius Guice at 1.14. I guess when you are the best team in the league you can afford to wait on an injured player!

• Teams Without RD1 Picks: Fockers, Jedi Knights, Mandalorian Warriors, MoRRie’s Pogiboys, Team Cameltoe

ROUND TWO
Pooh Bears had a double pick at the end of RD1 and beginning of RD2, and took Browns rookie receiver Antonio Callaway with 2.1. [I had to Google who that was.] Paolo had two RD2 picks and he took the giant head of Jets rookie quarterback Sam Darnold (2.2) and a new target for him to throw to: Cooper Kupp (2.12). Note that Darnold was the first non-keeper quarterback taken!

Xur then took everyone’s favorite sleeper TE Trey Burton at 2.3 and Pogiboys got on the draft board with Burton’s Bears teammate Tarik Cohen (2.4). Alvin also picked up another runner later, Chris Thompson (2.14), meaning Pogiboys essentially went back-to-back-to-back with their three 2018 picks after trading their RD1 away. Interesting!

Our other two non-keeper quarterbacks went to Fockers (2.9 - Ben Roethlisberger) and Mandalorian Warriors (2.15 - Matt Ryan), and two non-keeper defenses went as well, Ravens (2.11 - Ann Arbor Bamfers) and Another Bad Creation took the Rams (2.16) to clean up the round. In-between all that, Italian Stallionz grabbed the possible Seahawk starter Chris Carson (2.6) after Donny took Robert Woods (2.5) as his second selection, banking on his health and talent. A trio of receivers went 2.7, 2.8, and 2.10 — ABC with rookie Michael Gallup, Cameltoe with Devin Funchess, and Ouroboros with Robby Anderson.

Overall in RD2 we had three QB, four RB, six WR, one TE, and two DST taken. That’s compared to RD1 where ten RB, five WR, and one lone TE were taken.

• Teams Without RD2 Picks: Jedi Knights, Squirtle Squad, Sweep the Leg Zabka
• Shout out to Jedi Knights who haven’t gotten a pick yet!

ROUND THREE
I couldn't resist a quick look at RD3 where we saw a run of ten straight receivers, broken up only by Mandalorian Warriors taking kicker Stephen Gostkowski at 3.5. Other than that, this was the round of the speculative receiver, aside from a RB-WR-RB-TE-RB run to end the round. On to the rest of the draft...

Pre-Draft Trades 2018

• #228: Stink Pink Gators receive Jay Ajayi from Team Grrrrific for Mark Ingram and Gators 2020 RD4
• #229: Team Cameltoe receive Marlon Mack from Sweep the Leg Zabka for conditional 2020 pick (see trade sheet for conditions)
• #230: P-Funk All Stars receive Kelvin Benjamin from Sweep the Leg Zabka for All Stars 2018 RD3
• #231: Jedi Knights receive Tom Brady from Squirtle Squad for Jedi 2018 RD8, 2019 RD6, 2021 RD2
• #232: MoRRie’s Pogiboys receive Jerick McKinnon and 2018 RD7 from Hungry Ouroboros for Pogiboys / Warriors 2018 RD1 and Larry Fitzgerald

Not as many pre-draft trades went down this year as last, but all of them were pretty interesting in their own way, as a former MVP and definitely starteable pieces were on the go. Coming off back-to-back 5-8 and 4-9 seasons, Jedi Knights pushed a few picks into the pot for Tom Brady, who has anywhere from two to five years left at premium level. The move gives sophomore Mitchell Trubisky plenty of time to sit on the bench while Jedis look for a return to respectability.

Our two newest owners, Donny (Team Grrrrific) and Dave (Stink Pink) exchanged running backs, Jay Ajayi and Mark Ingram almost straight up, which seems like a collusion-y move doesn’t it? Who watches the Spartans?! Team Cameltoe is coming off two consecutive losing seasons themselves and swung a very conditional pick from our defending champs Sweep the Leg Zabka and acquired Marlon Mack. Zabka’s owner Alan — "Cobra Kai never die!" — also shipped off Kelvin Benjamin to P-Funk All Stars, who is coming off a dirty 2-11 season.

And then finally, the morning of the draft saw MoRRie’s Pogiboys trade Larry Fitzgerald and his (actually Mandalorian Warrior's 2018 RD1.5 to Hungry Hungry Ouroboros for Jerick McKinnon. Will one of these five moves get their teams closer to their goal? We'll see!

2018 Keepers

Draft Order 2018

1. P Funk All Stars (2-11)
2. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (2-11)
3. Italian Stallionz (4-9)
4. Team Grrrrrific (4-9) *TB Winner
5. Mandalorian Warriors (4-8-1)
6. Jedi Knights (5-8)
7. Team Cameltoe (6-7)
8. * Fockers (7-6)
9. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6)
10. Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6)
11. Squirtle Squad (8-5)
12. Stink Pink Gators (9-4)
13. MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4)
14. Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-3-1) *Champion
15. Another Bad Creation (10-3)
16. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)

League Payouts

Did you know that our M&B league is worth an astounding $700+ dollars! Who knew we were playing for big money! Minus some expenses, look at the payouts outlined below. This year we increased the fee from $35 to $45 to compensate Alvin for paying for the CBS draft room for five years! Please take a look at our M&B Finances sheet, and thank Jedi Knights owner Chris for being our treasurer!

• Number of Teams: 16
• Yearly Cost Per Team: $45
• Yearly Grand Total: $720

LEAGUE PRIZES
• Super Bowl Champion: $150
• Runner-Up: $50
• Third Place: $15

• Division Champ: $10 (4 teams)
• Qualify for Playoffs: $5 (8 teams)

• M&B Regular Season Champ: $5
• M&B Scoring Champion: $5

• Weekly Scoring Leader: $5 (13 teams)


NFL PRIZES
• NFL MVP: $5
• NFL Rushing Leader: $5
• NFL Receptions Leader: $5

TROPHIES
• Championship Ring: $150
• Championship Trophy: $25

SITES
• CBS Draft Room: $1??
• URL, Misc: $??