Super Bowl VIIII

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears vs MoRRie’s Pogiboys, 72-53
It was a season of inevitability. All four division winners got past their first opponents and made it into the conference finals. In a season featuring familiar names at the top of the scoring charts, our four remaining teams seemed fated to duke it out all season long. It would take a team of true destiny to upend our expectations and show us that surprises can still happen. That team? The 2013 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears!

After dethroning the former champs, J’s team shuffled into the Super Bowl on a steady if unglamorous streak. They were quietly confident, having won four of their last five games. Sure, their opponents were the mighty Pogiboys — who were favored in the matchup — but we all know that Pooh Bears show no fear. Alvin’s team had scored 93 and 131 points in their playoff matchups, and had a team that was firing on all cylinders. Tom Brady, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, hometown hero Calvin Johnson, resurrected DeSean Jackson, all of these players were faced with excellent match ups.

When Pooh Bears came out flat, with Cam Newton scoring 9 points and 2013 first round pick Shane Vereen totaling only 6, things didn’t look great for Pooh. Also, their Bills DEF sat on the bench with 21 points, while the starting Browns DEF had garnered a whopping -1 points. It didn’t look like another upset was in the cards for Pooh Bears. They had gotten double digit scoring efforts from all four of their receivers — Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Bryant, and Cordarrelle Patterson — but they barely topped sixty points heading into Sunday night.

Alas, for the Pogiboys, it was a gut wrenching day as their players continued to misfire. Tom Brady somehow only threw up 10 points despite a Patriots’ 41-7 blowout. DeSean Jackson caught four passes for 39 yards in an Eagles 54-11 blowout game. And then Calvin Johnson, who had mysteriously flamed out for most of the playoffs, only accrued four points also. With Tyler Eifert and Chiefs DEF both racking up zero points, this was looking like the wimpiest Super Bowl in history. Only Eddie Lacy went over twenty points for either side, as the rookie was the only one now scared by the bright lights. For Alvin, it would take a monster effort from Michael Crabtree on MNF to take the title. Unfortunately, 49ers kicker Phil Dawson outscored Crabtree, giving Pooh Bears the title in a 72-53 “blowout” that wasn’t as close as even that final score indicated. Note: The 72 point winning score was the lowest since Pooh Bear’s last Super Bowl victory, a 2006 contest over Thundercats (77-55).

In the end, Pooh Bears were happy to take the championship trophy home, since a win is a win is a win! Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!! Congrats to J&J, Jose and Jayvee!

• The Pooh Bears started off the season 4-1, had a bit of a stumble, and then righted the ship to finish winning five of their last six games.
• They were the second highest scoring team in the league, and faced the fourth toughest schedule. 
• Their best free agent pickup? Rookie receiver Cordarrelle Patterson in late November.
• Their top four scorers for the year: Cam Newton, Antonio Brown, Jimmy Graham, Dez Bryant.
• Biggest disappointments: Ray Rice and Doug Martin.
• Highest score: 126-58 W over Italian Stallionz in WK11. Nine total DeLorean weeks (over 88 points).
• Pooh Bears are set up for a sweet future, with a great keeper core, and tons of future picks. For example, they receive Cameltoe’s 2014 RD1 and RD2 pick, and Another Bad Creation's 2014 RD1, as well as as slew of later round picks from other teams. Also, somehow Pooh Bears owns Cameltoe’s first few round picks almost all the way through 2016! Dare we say "dynasty alert?!"

Playoffs: Super Bowl Preview

Well well, it looks like we're going to have quite the thrilling matchup for this year's Super Bowl. MoRRie's Pogiboys have never been to the championship game while 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears haven't been since 2006 -- when they won the title. Let's look at their paths to the Super Bowl and then a quick matchup!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears defeat Mandalorian Warriors, 89-74
Meeting for the third time in as many years in the Eastern Conference championship round, J was desperate for a win versus Mandalorian Warriors, who had their number the previous two times. This time out, Pooh Bears slowed the game down, played tough defense, and stuck to ball control and a strong kicking game. Pooh Bears’ kicker Phil Dawson helped lead the upset with seventeen points, and then Dez Bryant and his many tantrums took home the win with twenty one points of his own. Defending champ Warriors came out and a pretty much laid an egg, with Drew Brees and Brandon Marshall trying to rally their teammates to a more gallant championship defense but despite their fine efforts, Warriors were dethroned.

MoRRie’s Pogiboys vs Jedi Knights, 131-78
On the other side of the matchup, it was a pair of championship newbies ready to challenge for a Super Bowl slot. Jedi Knights had never even reached the conference finals round before, while Pogiboys’ only appearnace was way back in 2004. We said on Thursday that Knights would need a big week from their non-Peyton players and he got some nice performances from Marques Colston, Jason Witten, and Blair Wlash, but that was all for naught as congratulations for Alvin were flowing in by Sunday night. With twenty-plus points from Tom Brady, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, and DeSean Jackson, Pogiboys were already on their way to their highest scoring game of the year. Calvin Johnson’s Monday Night Football appearance was basically a (drop plagued) victory lap.

Super Bowl Preview: MoRRie's Pogiboys (10-3) vs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4)

Alvin's Pogiboys haven’t lost since WK6. Yes that means they are on a ten game win streak. TEN! Of course, one of their three losses this season was to Pooh Bears in WK2… Oh the drama. J’s team is coming off four wins in five weeks and they’ve had games of 126 and 108 scores, so he’s capable of big weeks. Pooh Bears have also been very consistent, as they haven’t gone under 85 points all month. That could represent a cautionary note for Pogi fans as much of their winning streak was accomplished with sub-80 point scores. However, their recent weeks have produced 93 and 131 points each, so they are trending up at just the right time.

Current projections have Pooh Bears winning but we can’t trust computerized projections can we? There is a strong case to be made that J’s explosive receiving game of Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Brown, and rookie Cordarrelle Patterson are guaranteed to have at least two or three big games. Alvin counters with Calvin Johnson and DeSean Jackson, who are mega-explosive in their own right. His TE, Tyler Eifert, is severely underpowered compared to Graham though. Cam Newton versus Tom Brady is mostly a wash too, with Brady being a bit steadier but less explosive.

Where Pogiboys will make up ground is through Eddie Lacy and Rashard Mendenhall, who have the clear edge over Shane Vereen. J could give Ray Rice a chance perhaps, but Rice has been dicey all year, to say the least. We’ll give the DEF/K combos a wash, even though both were instrumental last week — Bills and Phil Dawson put up a combined 28 points, while Chiefs and Matt Bryant dropped 27 points. Who can predict how they’ll do. Overall, our hearts are with Alvin’s team, as they have toiled long and hard without a championship. However, it would be sweet justice for J to win as well, as they’ve been so close recently. Either way, we got a big week ahead!

Playoffs: RD2 Preview

In a high scoring NFL showcase, it was a play it by the book weekend for our playoffs. All the top seeds won, and none of the games were close. In fact, three of the games featured one team over 100 points while their opponents were 80 or under. The closest margin of victory? 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears 108-70 victory over Detroit Players (and that featured only a MNF “chance” for Demarco Murray to gain over 50+ points for the comeback win). Fun trivia: If Squirtle Squad could have taken down Mandalorian Warriors, there could have been a Lake Village Final Four featuring Brian, Alvin, Chris, and J. A roommate battle from over fifteen years ago! Alas, Matt put the kibosh on that with his 133-81 drubbing of Squirtle Squad. So, it looks like our conference championships will feature four high powered teams who are each coming off high scoring weeks. We’re looking at possibly the best conference final round in Maize and Blue history!

Western Conference
Morrie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs Jedi Knights (8-5)
One of these teams will make history after this weekend. Neither Alvin nor Chris have ever made the Super Bowl so the winner of this matchup is going to have a chance to win a title for the first time ever. Last week, Alvin survived the snow game that blanketed Calvin Johnson and DeSean Jackson by having the Chiefs DST score 26 points. The thing is, Chris’ DST, Cardinals, put up a not too shabby 20 points themselves last week.

Jedi will need another big week from his receivers to fend off Pogiboys’ Johnson and Jackon, but that could be difficult with Wes Welker out via concussion. Can Marques Colston duplicate his big numbers from last week, or will Steve Smith come through in the clutch? It looks like Emmanuel Sanders will replace Welker, and he’s been steady, averaging one touchdown in each of his past three games. Pogiboys have the run game edge too, with Eddie Lacy and Rashard Mendenhall versus Alfred Morris. The biggest hurdle facing Jedi is that Peyton Manning only notched 17 points on Thursday Night Football, eliminating their biggest advantage. Now Tom Brady will have to just play to his average to cancel out Manning. Before the weekend has even started, Jedi Knights already have their backs against the wall but there's a lot of football left to be played...

Eastern Conference
Mandalorian Warriors (11-2) vs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4)
Well, last year’s Clash of the Titans matchup is back once again for another round. Both teams have been playing well of late, with the Warriors dropping 133 points (their season high) behind Drew Brees and LeSean McCoy’s combined 61 points last week. Pooh Bears rode Shane Vereen, Jimmy Graham, and Antonio Brown to their own century plus game, and could easily do it again with more scoring balance. J can breathe a little easier too knowing that Knowshon Moreno dropped a dud on Thursday night. The marquee Brees versus Cam Newton matchup is mostly a wash, with Brees facing an easier matchup but coming off more inconsistent performances. McCoy versus Vereen is surprisingly not that much of an advantage, and what we’re looking at is basically a showdown between the passing game.

Dez Bryant, Antonio Brown, and rookie x-factor Cordarrelle Patterson suit up for Pooh Bears versus Brandon Marshall and Larry Fitzgerald. The edge is toward the former group for quantity but the big names are all over on Warriors’ side. The huge advantage for Pooh will be at TE, with Graham versus Greg Olsen. Warriors is rolling the dice a bit with Bears DST, who are facing putrid Cleveland, but the Bears have put up two negative scores in thier last three weeks. Scary stuff. Pooh isn’t fielding a strong defense either, but Bills DST versus Jacksonville is as good as matchup as could be hoped for in this primetime game. Can J avenge his loss from last season? Can he stop the Warriors' repeat bid in its tracks? Let’s suit up and find out!

Playoffs: RD1 Preview

They playoffs are here! There's a handful of new, and surprising teams, on-board and there was even a tight race between a pair of 7-6 teams over in The Wood. In the end, it feels like the right eight teams are in the postseason and we're excited for the drama to unfold. [2012 Playoff Preview]

Western Conference
Morrie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
These in-division rivals faced off twice this season, with Pogiboys trouncing Bamfers by a combined total of 157-79. Alvin’s team is the hottest team in the league and haven’t lost since WK6. Powered by Calvin Johnson, DeSean Jackson, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, and the up and down leadership at the helm from Tom Brady, Pogiboys should dispose of Bamfers quickly. I mean, Megatron eats teams that sneak into the playoffs with a losing record — not to mention the lowest PF — for breakfast, which is what Bamfers did. Randy’s team is somehow in the playoffs after a year in which they threw up games of 25 and 29 points. They are coming off of three weeks with sub-60 scores and it would take a minor miracle to pull off an upset here. Then again, NICK FOLES! He of the 13-0 TD to INT ratio and the capability of throwing seven touchdowns at any moment. There’s a chance that Foles could try to single handedly engineer an upset here, but with only a fading Frank Gore and the inconsistent mirage of CJ Spiller / Fred Jackson, we see Bamfers’ win here as a nigh impossibility. The real lesson here: Hoke-A-Mania is a real bad division.

Jedi Knights (8-5) vs P Funk All Stars (8-5)
This is Chris’ second consecutive trip to the postseason -- with two division wins in a row -- and represents a nice upward trajectory from the depths of 2-11 in 2010. While they’ve stumbled down the stretch this year, losing three of their last five, they have the Peyton Manning Experience, along with Wes Welker as his dynamic duo buddy. RB Alfred Morris solidified his top ten status, giving the passing game some balance. For Jedi to go far though, veterans like Jason Witten, Marques Colston, and Steve Smith will have to step it up a bit. P Funk All Stars fans are delirious after two seasons that produced only three wins total combined. Sure we made fun of them alot, but with eight wins in 2013, Paolo’s team actually equaled their entire win total from 2010-2012 (and narrowed missed out on winning their first division title since 2005). The All Stars are heating up at just the right time too, riding a three game winning streak. Of course, facing the league’s softest schedule has helped but the patchwork team put together this season has been quite the success. Incredibly, the top scorer for P Funk is WR Michael Floyd, who didn’t put together many big numbers until WK11. Behind him sits Ryan Mathews, a nice reclamation project. And then it’s BenJarvus Green-Ellis… We don’t know how this team was winning, but here they are, in the playoffs and P Funk Nation is excited for the chance at an upset victory!

Eastern Conference
Mandalorian Warriors (11-2) vs Squirtle Squad (7-6)
Winning nine games in a row isn’t a shabby way to head into your title defense. The last time Matt’s team lost, it was a WK4 barnburner in which he still scored 98 points. In fact, both of Mandalorian’s losses have come while still scoring 90+ points. Squirtle Squad is on quite a streak themselves, with five straight wins catapulting them into a late wild card slot, and they seem very capable of an upset as they’ve scored 90, 101, 71, 104, and 134 during their streak. The Warriors have Drew Brees, LeSean McCoy, Knowshon Moreno, Brandon Marshall, and a healthy Rob Gronkowski. Plus the semi-recent trade addition of Larry Fitzgerald. It’s an all star caliber squad. Brian counters with Adrian Peterson, Josh Gordon, Zac Stacy, and promising rookie Keenan Allen. It’s been a nice comeback season for Squirtle Squad, after going 5-8 and 3-10 in recent years. At first glance, the quarterback battle between Brees and Ryan Tannehill is a laugher, but Tannehill has actually been outproducing Brees over the last month. Impressive, no? It’s going to be a high powered affair and Warriors might be facing their toughest challenge right out of the gate. Obviously, this is the game of the week. We expect fireworks!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4) vs Detroit Players (8-5)
J was bounced from "the real Super Bowl" by eventual champs Warriors last year but they’re back to challenge for the title again. Despite a trajectory that suggested they would get eleven wins this season — they’ve gone 8-5, 9-4, 10-3 in recent years — they weren’t quite as good as hoped, even after a 4-1 start. Still, this is no team to mess around with, as they have the biggest positional advantage player in the game: Jimmy Graham. With Dez Bryant elevating his game this season, along with a late season surge by Antonio Brown, Pooh quarterback Cam Newton has plenty of targets to throw to. The Bears have some problems in the backfield however, as Doug Martin was lost to injury and Ray Rice was lost to ineptitude. As for Detroit Players, after two straight 5-8 campaigns, they finally broke through for their first winning season since 2009. While slightly overmatched, Ariel’s team has the confidence in knowing that they toppled Pooh Bears in WK6 and aren’t afraid to tangle with a franchise they are very familiar with. Detroit Players is a three headed monster starring Robert Griffin III, A.J. Green, DeMarco Murray, and ah, little else. I mean, their next highest contributors are Hakeem Nicks, Bobby Rainey, and Mike Williams, the latter who has been on IR since WK9. Ariel will lean on an excellent Panthers DST to try to sneak out a win here but Pooh Bears could have their sights set on bigger prey in the next round...

2013 Final Standings

Detailed Breakdown

Game of the Week

It’s a co-owner face off! There are only two teams in Maize and Blue with two owners and they are in a tight race for The Wood division title. At stake here is “The Wood” name, as division winners earn the right to name their entire division. Should Hong and Eric’s team eek out a win over J and Jayvee, we’re looking at a possibly very un PG-13 name going up on the charts. Someone prevent that! Pooh vs Fockers, let’s get it on!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (8-3) vs * Fockers (7-4)
Last season, Fockers aka Human Amoebas was out of the playoffs and finished third in the division at 6-7. They are clearly much better this time around, with four wins in their last five games, but is that enough to usurp Pooh Bears, who are coming off a 126 point week and have also won four of their last five games? The computer scientists of ESPN tell us that both teams are projected to score 87 points next week, and that means we’re looking at a potential knuckle biter.

QB: It’s a battle of super steady Andrew Luck versus a surging Cam Newton. While Killer can throw up a dud once in awhile, the Panthers are rolling and Newton could easily outgun Andre the Giant. Still, we’ll give the advantage to Luck for his consistency. Edge: Fockers

RB: It hasn’t been pretty in the backfield for either team this season. Pooh Bears lost Doug Martin to irrelevance and then a seaon ending injury. Fockers’ Ahmad Bradshaw has been useless, while DeAngelo Williams is back to the bench. Rookie Montee Ball has been less than useless. The good news is, GM Hong patiently waited for first overall pick Le’Veon Bell to heal up and now he’s the bell cow in the backfield. Fockers will also also use free agent pick up Pierre Thomas for the first time all season, electing to sit pass catching specialist Danny Woodhead. J’s team will roll with Ray Rice, coming off his best game of the season, and his own pass catching wonder, Shane Vereen. There's not much to love from either backfield combination. Edge: Neither

WR/TE: First things first, Jimmy Graham is an outsized advantage over Kellen Winslow. In fact, it’s such a huge edge that Fockers will likely find themselves in a double digit hole just from this one matchup. The worse news is that Pooh Bears’ receiving corps also features red hot Antonio Brown and the always dangerous Dez Bryant. Demaryius Thomas has been spectacular all season for Fockers but he and the surprising Pierre Garcon don’t quite make up for the difference in tight end quality. Edge: Pooh Bears

DEF/K: In the world of unpredicatable defenses, it’s likely neither Steelers DEF nor Browns DEF will put up more than 5-8 points each. The bigger issue is if Browns DEF could stumble into a negative outting, as they’ve done before. In a nice twist of fate, it’s Steelers versus Browns in their real NFL matchup this week. As for the kicking matchup, Phil Dawson is a bit hotter than David Akers but that’s by only a few points. We don’t see either making much difference if they can play to their averages. Edge: Neither

INTANGIBLES: In his rookie season, Hong has been King Midas Jr. and made all the right moves. His trash talking backed up by wins has rendered the rest of the league quiet. An opportunity for a big upgrade at TE slipped away at the trade deadline last week but his bold moves this off-season set the table for a winning season. As for J, he (probably deliberately) annihilated Porta's team on the weekend of his wedding. I mean, that's some Red Wedding shit right? Geezes. What a friend! Edge: Fockers

Prediction: As much as we’d like to see an upset, we’re concerned that the Pooh Bears' receiving advantage is just too great. Plus, Cam Newton could easily negate Fockers’ slight advantage in QB and that could spell doom for Hong’s division hopes. Over the last three weeks, Fockers have been steadily declining in points scored from a season high of 104 points in WK9 to last weekend’s 64 points. Pooh Bears threw up a 46 point clunker in WK10 but otherwise they’ve been near the magical DeLorean 88 ppg mark. We smell a division clinching win for Pooh Bears!

[Immediate update:] Early breaking news, the big mouth co-owner of Fockers guarantees a victory this week. I'll let you guess which owner it was. It's a very Broadway Joe move, but you know, Sea World Hong. We're changing our pick to Fockers for chutzpah and you know, J's karmic retribution for last weekend's slaughter of Italian Stallionz. Almost literally on his wedding day...

Chasing the Postseason

With only two weeks left to go in the regular season, it looks like most of the playoff spots are locked up. Let’s take a quick look at the playoff picture. [Last year’s playoff peek.]

Western Conference
Not a lot of change here, as Jedi Knights and MoRRie’s Pogiboys, last year’s division winners, are assured of playoff positions. There’s no intrigue at all in Hoke-A-Mania as Pogiboys have a three game lead on Ann Arbor Bamfers and the rest of the pack.

Over in Knights Who Say Ni, Jedi have a one game lead on P Funk All Stars, and they face off against them in a possibly pivotal WK13 matchup. Chris’ team has already beaten Paolo’s once this season but their tie-breakers aren’t that far out of reach if Paolo can tie up their H2H record.

With Pogiboys, Jedi, and P Funk likely in the playoffs, it’s down to two 5-6 teams — Ann Arbor Bamfers and Another Bad Creation — to duke it out for that last wildcard spot. Bamfers owns the H2H tiebreaker this season, so the edge is with them. There’s an outside chance that Hungry Hungry Ouroboros could edge into the playoff picture but they are one game behind their competitors. Sayonara to Original Salt and Team Cameltoe, start making moves for next season!

Eastern Conference
It’s the same old story over in this conference too. Mandalorian Warriors and 100 Acre Pooh Bears won their respective divisions last season also and both hold the edge heading into the last two weeks of the regular season. We feel pretty confident that Warriors will win Lebowski Achievers as they are two games up on Detroit Players. As for the Pooh Bears, they are being chased hard by * Fockers and this week’s matchup between them could go a long way toward determining who wins the division crown. J’s team currently holds the 1-0 H2H edge but that could change with a win by Hong.

In any case, all that division title jostling is the only excitement as the other four teams in the East — Squirtle Squad, Italian Stallionz, WS Tartars, and Dunder Mifflin Paper Company — are at least two games back of the playoff hunt and probably should start prepping for summery vacation spots. Better luck next year gentlemen!

Potential New Rules

So we’ve got a couple of possible rules things that could be up for voting. I figure it's time to get the ball rolling on it in an organized way. Let’s get a clear view of what possible changes we're looking at. Also, here are some of the comments from our previous poll on CBS when Felipe asked "We've talked about it all off-season, so here goes. Should we change the scoring format to include points per reception (PPR)? Also, should we change the format to include fractional points (i.e., 1 yard rushing = 1/10 of a point)?"

Note: Anything implemented would be for two seasons from now (I believe). Also this is just the new rules list I came up with, and the Google Doc below needs some rewriting perhaps or revamping before an official vote. So don't vote yet, but take a look or comment away!

[[ SAMPLE GOOGLE DOC POLL ]] See bottom of post for update...

1. Fractional Scoring
The argument for is easy: each yard should be worth something. A lot of scoring systems now go with fractional scoring and it’s possible Maize and Blue should move in that direction. An alternate take is that fractions should only be used in the playoffs.

2. TE eligibility for Flex Position
With the advent of two TE sets, it’s been proposed that we allow the Flex position to include RB/WR/TE instead of just RB/WR.

3. Adding a Position, RB/WR/TE
As difficult as it is to field sixteen starting RBs already, it seems like most NFL teams use at least two RBs, even in a part time role. Could adding another required RB position better mirror that? Also, I would like to propose adding a WR position, to reflect how NFL teams now use more receivers. Or perhaps just adding a WR/TE position instead of the previous option to RB/WR/TE flex. Also, adding another skill position would also lower the overall effect of DEF and K, which is something I'm always for.

4. Points Per Reception
We all know the pros and cons. Here’s a refresher: The Case for PPR (2009). The purists think PPR is free points for something a receiver should do. What do you think?

5. Lowering FG Points
Currently a kicker is rewarded +1 point for a 40+ yard FG and +2 for a 50+ yarder. The argument is that a forty yard FG should be normal. The rule change would be for FGs of 1-49 yards to only accrue 3 points, plus an extra point if it’s 50+ yards. Additionally, I would like to nominate points off for a missed FG and extra point.

6. Toilet Bowl
Would a Toilet Bowl for the top picks each year be preferable to a lottery system? A Toilet Bowl would keep the non-playoff teams engaged longer and make them earn a top pick. For example, each of the non-playoff teams would be tossed into a seeded eight team tournament for the #1 and #2 overall picks, with the draft reverting to reverse order of standings after those two picks have been determined by the Toile Bowl winner and runner-up.

7. FAAB: Free Agent Auction Bidding (What is it?)
Currently we use a traditional waiver system that works in reverse order of standings. The FAAB system gives each team a certain amount of money each season, usually $100, to make waiver pickups. "If a team would like to add a player, that team will secretly bid a certain amount. On the next waiver process day, the team with the highest amount bid will be awarded the player, and the bid will be subtracted from that team's budget.”

In theory, FAAB adds additional strategy and levels the playing field for waiver pick ups. FAAB allows teams to compete over the hot free agents. Also, FAAB mitigates the effect of using a waiver wire pick position to grab a K on a bye week, and thus sending you to the back of the line.

8. Using league fees to buy and maintain a URL
We are looking at getting a URL for Maize and Blue, which would cost in the neighborhood of $10 a year to maintain. Chris would host the URL I believe. Pros: Email list! Cons: None?


[Update 11/19/2013] New Google Doc: Rules Ballot 2013, plus a quarterback TD vote, and also some voting rules suggested by Matt.

[Update 11/20/2013] Looks like we're voting?! Here are the current results so far: Rules Ballot 2013 Results.

Voting Rules 

• Each franchise has one vote; co-owners of any franchise must agree on a single ballot
• All rule changes require a majority of 9 votes to
• Some questions include a clarifying question in case the measure is passed. Even if a franchise is voting against a change, each franchise should select an answer to the clarifying question in case the measure is passed.

Merry Go Round

With rumors flying and one late trade acceptance that slid in too late for the deadline, this year saw only one move before the post-WK10 cut off date. Defending champs Mandalorian Warriors moved to shore up a receiving position that had semi-plagued them all season. Last year’s Super Bowl hero, Roddy White, was moved for a healthier superstar receiver: Larry Fitzgerald.

Despite floundering a bit so far this year, Fitzgerald is averaging 8.1 points a game this season, has four double digit games, and is a huge upgrade over the missing-in-action White. Losing Steven Jackson won’t be a problem either because Knowshown Moreno has more than replaced (In)Action Jackson’s RB2 stats. With Rob Gronkowski returning to form, the Warriors are getting ready for a long stretch run. Already averaging a league leading 91.0 points per game, it’s highly likely GM Matt just assured his 8-2 team of another Super Bowl appearance. Future defending champs take note: This is how you defend your title! Aggressive, be aggressive! (Does this move have shades of Matt moving for Roddy last year, and then going to win the title? Yes, yes! The fantasy gods reward bold moves.)

Trade ID: #170

• Original Salt receive Roddy White and Steven Jackson
• Mandalorian Warriors receive Larry Fitzgerald and Nick Folk

On the other side of things, Original Salt was facing a losing season after a promising start and is already looking toward the off-season. White and Jackson have been injured most of the season — they’ve combined for only 36 points this entire season — and the two are clearly not going to help much the rest of the way. Both are back but still fighting through their various dings. Despite a roster featuring Philip Rivers, Matt Forte, and the ghost of Jordan Cameron, Reno has likely decided to throw in the towel and hope for a high draft pick next year.

Kicker Nick Folk, included in the deal for we're not sure why, has already been dropped by Mandalorian Warriors. Folk has been on fire recently and is the #3 ranked kicker, so it might behoove someone to scoop him up. The Warriors already had Matt Prater and Garrett Hartley on board, while Original Salt employs Robbie Gould. Folk has been outscoring all three of them, and now he's a FA. Go figure.

Build for the Future

I was wondering what the benchmark for steady success was for Maize and Blue. See, my longtime league is a ten team keeper, and to stay competitive you gotta put up over 100+ points per game. We call those “century” games and a good measure of how well a team is doing is to simply count up how many century games they have. Well, needless to say, that 100+ points number is not the same for a sixteen team league. Even taking account differing scoring systems I wanted to know what Maize and Blue’s version of a century game would be. What’s the benchmark for a consistent winner?

The obvious way to look at this is this season’s Points For marks. We have four 5-2 teams so far this season, and three of those teams are our top scorers for the season: Mandalorian Warriors, Jedi Knights, and 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears. (The outlier is Detroit Players, who are only #12 for PF.) Those three have scored 639, 603, and 584 points respectively. Average that out and we get 86.95 points per game.

To put that into context, I averaged out the scores for our bottom three PF teams -- P Funk All Stars, WS Tartars, Ann Arbor Bamfers -- and came up with 60.3 points per game. (If we take out the Bamfer’s putrid 397 points and insert Team Cameltoe’s numbers instead, we get an average of 63.10 points. The reason we would take Bamfers out was because their numbers were skewed by a 25 point WK3.) It’s clear that the difference between a top tier team and a bottom feeder is about twenty-five points per game. The teams at the back of the pack put up only about 72.5% of the points of those at the top. They're playing six on eight essentially.

Let’s look at what an average team might be expected to put up though. I took the middle four PF teams -- Hungry Hungry Ouroboros, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, MoRRie’s Pogiboys, *Fockers -- and averaged their scores out. The number was 77.9 points per game. Those teams, the #7-10 PF teams, were only 9.05 points away from becoming perennial powerhouses. What this tells us is that the leap from cellar dweller to average team is a long one -- an owner needs to find an extra 17.6 points per game -- but from from average to contender isn't nearly as large a jump. Woohoo, hope for everyone!

For our league, I think the benchmark for a good game should be somewhere north of 86.95 points. It would be easy to say that 90 points per game is the “century” mark for our sixteen team league but that's not fun at all. I propose we nudge that number down to a much more exciting 88 points. Why 88? Because it’s an homage to one of the greatest movies of all time that’s why!

From now on, any game over 88 points is now dubbed a “DeLorean” and it’ll be the new benchmark for success. If you can average a DeLorean over the entire season, well, I’ll let Doctor Emmett Brown say it. "When this baby hits 88 mph, you're gonna see some serious shit!” And if you can put up 88 points in any individual week, there's a good shot you're winning. Hitting 88 points also means you've got some explosiveness in your team.

Unsurprisingly, the top PF teams lead the DeLorean charts this season. 100 Acre Pooh Bears and Another Bad Creation both have four, while Jedi Knights and Italian Stallionz have totaled three each. Mandalorian Warriors blows everyone out of the water with six DeLoreans so far. Take a look at the PF charts with DeLoreans added in, plus columns for PF/PA averages per week. As you can see, none of the bottom four PF teams have recorded a DeLorean yet.

What’s the point of all this? Well, if you scroll down Matthew Berry’s (incredibly longwinded) Draft Day Manifesto 2013 you can get to the bit where he breaks down how to get to a certain number of points to consistently win games. For a standard ten team ESPN league, Berry says it takes about eight wins to make the playoffs. More importantly, “the totals from the four playoff teams average out to 94 points per week….we're speaking in generalities, but average 94 points in the first 13 weeks this upcoming season and there's a pretty good chance you're going to win at least eight times. Enough to make it likely -- not guaranteed, but likely -- that you're in the playoffs.” Then he goes on to break down how to get to 94 points each week. ESPN standard weeks have an extra flex position but otherwise it’s very similar to our rosters.

I think Berry's breakdown is an interesting way to look at what your roster needs are and which positions should be in line to improve. For example, assuming we want to hit 83-88 PF per game to be consistently competitive, we might break down a roster like this: #7 Hungry Ouroboros versus #10 Fockers. As we can see, assuming ideal lineups and consistency from players, Ouroboros isn't that far away while the Fockers are a tad bit short. Of course, Fockers is 4-3 now while Ouroboros is only 3-4, so PF can only tell us so much. The point of it all is that just a handful of points really can make the difference between an average team and a good team. And if you're posting 20+ points per game below the leaders, it's time to start coming up with some genius moves! Below is the full PF/PA charts, and here's the Google Doc if you wanna play around with the numbers yourself.

Additional notes:

• I went back to last year’s standings to see if this mark would hold true. I looked at Mandalorian Warriors, 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears, and Another Bad Creation, who were the top three PF teams from 2012. In sixteen games each, they averaged 90.75 points per game.
• Just for kicks, I took the #2 player from each position — the #1 was sometimes way too much better than everyone else, and an outlier — and put them on a roster to see what a truly outrageous team was capable of averaging. The team of Drew Brees (21.7), Matt Forte (15.7), Marshawn Lynch (15.4), AJ Green (12.9), Wes Welker (12.7), Julius Thomas (12.6), Seahawks (11.9), and Mason Crosby (11.3) would combine for 114.20 points per game. That’s your high water mark folks. If you can get to 110+ points per week, you’d never lose!
• Mandalorian Warriors actually average 95.5 points per game this year if you take out their WK7 bye week induced 66 points. (“Justin” Case Keenum started in place of Drew Brees and the Warriors won anyway.) If we took Mandalorian Warriors off the top three PF charts and substituted #4 Original Salt in instead, the top three teams would really be averaging 83.67 points per game. 
• Where you at members of The Wood?! Your "division of death" label is currently in the hands of The Knights Who Say Ni so far this season. They have three winning teams and also three of the top five PF scores. Interestingly, Original Salt, who has outscored everyone in the division except Jedi Knights, is the only non-winning team. That may have something to do with facing the league’s toughest schedule so far. See below.
• We can’t forget to account for PA while looking at these charts. It just so happens that the top two PF teams have faced two of the softest schedules in the league. Is the competition wilting in front of them? I thought our schedules were weighted so the better teams played each other? What’s going on? Poor Original Salt, who is #4 in PF but getting hammered by the toughest schedule so far on their way to a 2-5 record. The only winning team that’s facing a top five fiercest schedule? Italian Stallionz. The poor Ann Arbor Bamfers are the lowest scoring team in the league AND are getting pounded by the third worst schedule. Ouch!
• I'm for adding a new starting position next year. With nine starters versus eight, it would mitigate the effect of a DEF and K. Also, NFL teams now almost require two RBs to platoon, so adding another RB position or maybe just another flex would increase the players on the fantasy field and give more chances to actually beat your opponent with skill position guys versus entrusting 25% of your score to DEF/K. Who's with me?

Four to the Floor

We’ve got two teams on four game losing streaks. With our season at seven games booked, that’s not good. The thing is, there’s still time for any team to flip the switch and get into post-season contention. Or is there? Let’s take a look at the two teams getting the worst of it so far this season.

Original Salt (2-5)
The last time we checked in on Reno’s team, they were at 0.500 and ranked second in The Knights Who Say Ni division. Since then they’ve dropped three in a row and faced off against three winning teams that are now a cumulative 13-8. Ouch, no wonder they’re skidding toward the bottom of the standings. With six regular season games to go, Reno’s team is only three games back but it’s troubling because their best effort was last week’s 96 points — which was still a loss to Another Bad Creation. With most of their good players on bye for WK8, this team is headed for a fifth loss in a row. Can anything be salvaged from this season?

The Good: A late September pickup of Terance Williams has proved fruitful, as he’s been outplaying Larry Fitzgerald and Greg Jennings. This year's RD3.7 pick, Denarius Moore, has quietly snuck up to top fifteen WR status, and he’s been heating up with 356 yards and three touchdowns over the past month. Running back Matt Forte had his season best 28 points last week and is now ranked as the #2 RB. Despite slowing down a bit recently, Philip Rivers is still the sixth best QB this season.

The Bad: Larry Fitzgerald hasn’t been outright terrible, but with only one 100+ yard receiving game, and only three games in double digits, he’s become Mr. Undependable. With the emergence of Moore and Williams, Greg Jennings is official done after his bye week start this week. This isn’t really a bad bad, but a few weeks ago Jordan Cameron was this year’s fantasy darling. Since then he’s only totaled twenty points in his last three games. It's still nice numbers for a tight end, but no longer incredible world beating stats. With NFL defenses now keyed in on him, is Cameron's time in the spotlight over?

The Ugly: The defense for Original Salt has been terrible. Up until Giants DST had eleven points in WK7, Original Salt’s defense of choice had put up -1, -3, and -6 points. The week before that, the Jets had thrown up -5 points for Reno too. You have to go back to WK3 to find a positive contribution from Original Salt’s defense. And in WK1, Giants DST puked up another -3 points. It’s safe to say that it’s time for Reno to cut Giants DST, who has scored negative points in five of their seven games. While no wins were likely coming in with even a zero point defense during those matchups, it’s just gross to field a DST that gives you negative points week after week.

Suggestion: There seems to be an extra receiver on this team, maybe it would behoove Reno to explore some trade options for Larry Fitzgerald, who still has name value, if not exactly sustained production anymore. Also, change out that defense!

Team Cameltoe (1-6)
We wish there were nice things we could say about the tailspin Felipe finds his team in. We really loved the effort he put in this off-season for a big rebuild but things just haven’t been working out. They can’t put points up on the board — high mark of 81 points in a WK2 loss — and they don’t have a lot of hope on the horizon. A team that has eclipsed eighty points just once this season is in trouble. Cameltoe fans should be asking, “Can Jadeveon Clowney play offense?”

The Good: The one thing that was unequivocally a win for Felipe’s off-season maneuverings was Jordy Nelson. At the cost of a 2013 RD1 — a pick that eventually turned into Eddie Lacy by Pogiboys — Nelson is now the #1 WR on the charts and has shown no signs of slowing down. The RD3.03 selection of Reuben Randle is paying some dividends as Randle has four touchdowns in his last three games and is averaging 14.0 points over that same span.

The Bad: The mega Russell Wilson trade will take some time to shake out but it’s safe to say that Felipe expected more than the #12 ranked QB for two future first rounders and a second. And look at this roster summary. Aside from Wilson, Nelson, and Julio Jones, nobody else has contributed more than 21 points to the cause. Receiver Harry Douglas, added to the roster two weeks ago, vaulted up to number six on the Cameltoe charts after a single twenty point showing in WK7. That’s not good. And let’s not overlook the horrible gaping hole at running back here. David Wilson and Chris Ivory have been huge disappointments. Recent trade acquisition Daryl Richardson was just cut for Kendall Hutner, who could now be the starter. We’re not sure if Ivory’s 104 yards on 34 carries is legit, but if he can’t do that again, Team Cameltoe has nothing at running back.

The Ugly: Good night Julio Jones. Jones, the shining light on this roster, was put on IR and won’t return until next season. His 10.8 points per game won’t be irrepleacable but his star power will be. Without Jones around, what else do Cameltoe fans have to look forward to? This year’s biggest fantasy injury — so far — also happened to the one team that could least afford it.

Suggestion: This season is over. Even in a weak Hoke-A-Mania division, there’s no coming back for Team Cameltoe. And a wildcard spot ain’t gonna happen. Plus, without Julio, there’s just no going forward. The move now is to plan for the future. There’s no choice but to wait to see if Wilson can improve, but there are a few receiving options here. Maybe it’s time to deal one away to a contender to recoup some of those picks, or maybe explore trading Nelson at the peak of his value.

West Conf Early Look: The Knights Who Say Ni

It's four weeks in but not too early to get in a quick review of how everyone's doing. As pointed out, there's parity everywhere with no undefeated teams, no winless teams, and half the league at 2-2. But not every 2-2 is made equally, as we look at the Knights Who Say Ni division, where everyone is dead even! Last year's four game in review is here.

Jedi Knights (2-2)
With one of the top keeper cores in the league, it's no mystery who sits atop this division...just like last season. Chris' team has the second most Points For and has been led by the insanity that is Peyton Manning. Mr. Manning blasted out of the gates with 46 points in WK1 and is averaging 29.8 points for the season, far and away the best fantasy player so far this year. The Knights lost a 93-97 game to MoRRie's Pogiboys this past week or they would have secured three wins. With Wes Welker proving that he is just as good without Tom Brady -- six TDs so far -- the one-two punch here is spectacular. Who was worried Welker would fall? He's been super steady with 16, 9, 14, and 19 points.

Behind those two is some depth issues though since there's a big dropoff to Steve Smith and steady but unremarkable Marques Colston. Step it up guys, Chris needs you to go undefeated the rest of the way! Also, running back Alfred Morris is dinged up and he's been middling at best. It looks like Robert Turbin, he of the three games with three carries each is going to get a swing this weekend. That's pretty much playing seven on eight. Still, with Peyton around this team can afford a few misfires. Ahem, here's looking at you Jason Witten. I mean, even kicker Blair Walsh has been playing inspired, posting three double digit games. Strangely, Blaine Gabbert is on this team with his five interceptions to no touchdowns ratio. Is he good at applying Peyton's BenGay or something?

Original Salt (2-2)
Trailing not that far behind in PF is the surprising Original Salt, who ended last season on a five game losing streak but is now an even 0.500 and scoring consistently each week. For a team that we semi-mocked in the keeper rankings, it looks like Reno could be just fine. Philip Rivers is back as a fantasy standout, Matt Forte is a very steady top five running back, and Larry Fitzgerald is revived, if still a bit boom/bust when he doesn't nab a touchdown.

Oh right, and then there's must-be-all-caps JORDAN CAMERON!!! The 2013 RD3.02 pick has emerged as the second best tight end around. Is it too early to call him the new Ben Coates? Shannon Sharpe? Rob Gronkowski?! It looks like Cleveland's entire offense is gearing around tossing Cameron the ball as he's had thirty catches and four touchdowns this season on the way to averaging 16 points a week. With Blake Griffin endorsing him, Reno was the only of us smart enough to actually select Cameron Jordan. Er, Jordan Cameron. With a huge WK5 matchup against Jedi Knights coming up, this could be a chance for Original Salt to break away from the crowded division pack.

Another Bad Creation (2-2)
Oliver's team has faced a slightly less difficult schedule than the two teams above him, but his squad has also scored less. After last year's Superbowl loss, ABC opened this season with two delicious wins but then scored only 45 and 65 points in their two subsequent games, both losses. Aaron Rodgers has still been all world but his early bye likely cost Oliver a win in WK4. Andre Johnson has been catching a lot of passes but hasn't hit the end zone yet this season, and Vincent Jackson has been suffering from the same malady.

Three tight ends will have already started games for ABC -- Fred Davis, Scott Chandler, Zach Ertz -- and that's a definite position of need. What Oliver does have is a stable of running backs that are all in the top ten of total scoring so far. While erratic and injury prone across the board, Marshawn Lynch, Reggie Bush, and Joique Bell have all had their moments this season. With the just injured, but steady, Darren McFadden also on board, it's a bit of a juggling act to see which RB will do the best each week. Still, with Rodgers back, this team is ready to pull into mid-season on a positive swing.

P Funk All Stars (2-2)
We gave Paolo's team the worst keeper scores (again) before the season for featuring two quarterbacks and a defense so we'll be quick to admit that these All Stars have already done well in equaling their wins total from all of last season. However, that keeper worthy 49ers Defense is ranked near the bottom of the league and started off the season scoring 2, 3, 0 points before righting the ship with a 13 point showing in WK4 against the putrid St. Louis Rams. Sidenote: That Giants defense kept by Original Salt has been even worse, scoring -7 points on the season and literally being the worst D/ST in the league. The lesson is to never keep defenses!

As for the two headed giant of Joe Flacco and Sam Bradford? P Funk added Matt Schaub through the draft and he's been the high scorer for this team. The rest of the roster has been disappointing throughout, with nobody averaging over eight points a game aside from Rams TE Jared Cook. The problem is, Paolo's up-and-comer might be Coby Fleener, who plays the exact same position. We want to applaud the All Star's early season success but we're not entirely sure how sustainable that will be. Can we call for a roster doctor? This team has three QBs, two D/ST, and two starting caliber TEs… At least kicker Stephen Gostkowski has been as good as advertised...

East Conf Early Look: The Wood

With three 3-1 teams, The Wood is once again the toughest division in Maize and Blue. With a new owner on board, it's even got some fresh blood in the water. Put it this way, the worst team in the division is multiple champion Squirtle Squad, who acquired their most recent title in 2010. Let's take a look to see how all these potential powerhouses are faring early on this season. Last season's early The Wood look.

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (3-1)
In the toughest division in the land, the Pooh Bears still rule, albeit barely, just a few more points scored than their challenger. Unlike most other teams, J's team is led by a tight end, the very best non-QB fantasy player in the land: Jimmy Graham. Having a competitive advantage with a guy who's averaging 20 points a game on three hundred yard games and six total touchdowns is pretty fantastic. It's bought time for a running attack that has been slow to gel. Doug Martin has been getting the work but not a lot of scores, and Ray Rice has been pretty non-functional all season. This could be worrisome for other teams but the Pooh Bears haven't exactly been hurting for points as they are strong everywhere else. I mean, look at that keeper core.

In a slight twist, Cam Newton and Michael Vick have been splitting time equally, with J unfortunately missing out on all of their big games. It looks like it'll be Vick for WK5, which is something we couldn't have predicted during pre-season. The uptempo offense has Dez Bryant and Antonio Brown performing as top ten WR options, and rookie Kenbrell Thompkins is starting to find his footing after two fantastic games. With three straight games at 90+ points and above, and WK4's 109-98 win against the defending champs, J's team is looking to rule The Woods yet again.

Italian Stallionz (3-1)
Trailing not that far behind and nipping at J's heels is Porta's team. They've had some roster churn but aside from one hiccup, a WK2 low scoring affair against Ann Arbor Bamfers, they've taken care of business. Porta's team have squeaked out a one and six point win while featuring a group of six starters who all average in double digits. Impressive stuff. Their off-season swap at quarterback -- Matt Stafford for Tom Brady -- has resulted in slight upgrade so far this season too. With Jamaal Charles locking in top running back status, the Stallionz lead with a heavy ground attack. A surprising Bilal Powell has been getting a lot of touches and since only fifteen running backs average ten points or more a week, Powell at 10.3 per game has translated into very solid RB#2 status. He's made up for the early season struggles of Stevan Ridley.

The receiving group of Anquan Boldin, Reggie Wayne, good looking rookie DeAndre Hopkins, and Tony Gonzalez have traded off big games to useful effect. None of them have been star caliber but they don't need to be. We see the Stallionz remaining a solid contender all season, and how sweet would it be to have a championship to top off a marriage? (I hope someone got Porta drunk at the bachelor party and made him promise to trade me Jamaal Charles!)

* Fockers (3-1)
Undergoing a questionable name change, co-owner Hong has gone from the catchy "Human Amoebas" to the eye rolling "* Fockers." He told me some explanation for the asterisk but really, who cares? The good news is that the Fockers are making a strong case for their contender status. After only winning six games total last year, they're well on pace for much more than that. Their one loss this season was by seven points, in WK1 to the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Pundits would point to their league easiest schedule but Hong's team has been putting the points up on the board so it's not their fault when the competition wilts.

The off-season debate of Andrew Luck versus Matt Stafford has been almost an exact wash points-wise, and there's no question that Demaryius Thomas, received in return for Stafford, has been totally worth it. Thomas is currently sitting pretty as the second best wide receiver on the strength of two huge games. Pierre Garcon has been averaging seven catches a week, and he's emerged as a very nice secondary target. There's a glut of one-and-done receivers here too -- Cecil Shorts, Jerricho Cotchery, Robert Woods, Santonio Holmes -- any of which could catch fire for the occasional game.

As for the run game, it's on the upswing. First overall pick LeVeon Bell returned from injury with two huge TDs, and he'll make up for the hugely disappointing Montee Ball. The Trent Richardson trade really hurts Ahmad Bradshaw's value too. DeAngelo Williams has been getting a lot of carries in Carolina but hasn't sniffed the end zone yet. We hear rumors that GM Hong could soon address his gaping hole at tight end too, which might help this * Fockers challenge for the lead in this heavyweight division. Check out how Coach Hong does his lineup each week, that's so cute!

Squirtle Squad (1-3)
After wiping out last year with three straight losses, Brian started off 2013 by losing a super close game in WK1 and then earned a hard fought nail biting win in WK2 versus Cameltoe. Things were looking up! Then came a minor collapse that had the fans revisit their sinking feelings from last year. Is it as bad as it looks? I mean, there's Adrian Peterson on this team, the best non-QB non-Jimmy Graham player in the league at 19 points per game. And look, there's TE Julius Thomas who set the world on fire in his first two games of the season -- before fading badly recently. Plus there's so much intriguing talent here with young receivers Randall Cobb, T.Y. Hilton, Josh Gordon, and even Marlon Brown. What gives?

The biggest hole has been at quarterback, otherwise known as the Ryan Tannehill experience. Tannehill hasn't been that bad -- no worse than Eli Manning, Andy Dalton, Joe Flacco, Carson Palmer -- but when you start the 24th best QB in a sixteen team league, that's a deficit each week. Perhaps new find Brian Hoyer will help, he of the two eighteen point games in WK3/4. There seems to be a plethora of TEs too, with Thomas, Martellus Bennett, and Charles Clay around. How many top eight tight ends does a team need? Also, who is Dion Lewis and why is he on IR? Super savvy move for next year? Oh la la. The Squirtles are building for the future and likely not a post-season contender.

West Conf Early Look: Hoke-A-Mania

It's no secret that this division isn't exactly the cream of the crop. They were the only division with just one winning team last year and it took only five wins to get to second place. Read on to see how each team seems to be doing worse than each other, as they all stumble their way to the bottom. Last year's mid-season look at Hoke-A-Mania.

MoRRie's Pogiboys (2-2)
The only division winner to not get to double digit wins this season, Pogiboys is perched precariously on top of the newly dubbed Hoke-A-Mania division. This is how bad of a Michigan fan I am, I had to Google what that was in reference to. Shame shame. After dropping an embarrassing opener to P Funk All Stars in WK1, Alvin has righted the ship with three good games and only a five point loss to 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears to spoil the party. All this after suffering a catastrophic off-season that saw their keeper core decimated by injury. The good news is that Trent Richardson and his 3.13 YPC average is in a better offense, even as if his fantasy stock hasn't gone up much up yet.

New quarterback Tom Brady, acquired via a draft day trade, has only hit twenty points once this season, which is surprising. That, of course, could be due to that other Pogiboy, Danny Amendola, who has only played one game so far. Aside from Calvin Johnson, the receiving corps is a bit dicey. DeSean Jackson looked fantastic for the first two weeks before disappearing, and Jermichael Finley teased before getting injured again. I'm gonna state the obvious: Jermichael Finley equals NBA's Tyrus Thomas. With Michael Crabtree and Percy Harvin both with that shiny red "O" next to their names, there's no question Alvin loves his injury prone high upside guys -- just like with his SlamNation team. Rookie Eddie Lacy had a flash in WK1 before he too suffered an injury.

Actually, with so many disappointments, it's almost incredible that the Pogiboys are leading this division. And we haven't even talked about running back Lamar Miller, who is at 7.5 points per game, not exactly what Alvin expected after drafting him third overall. In fact, all those early 2013 draft picks -- including four first rounders -- resulted in Miller, Lacy, Jackson, Finley, Tyler Eifert, and Carson Palmer. Plus Tom Brady of course. Worth it?

Ann Arbor Bamfers (2-2)
The story heading into the season was who would hold the QB reins for Randy's team: Eli Manning or Colin Kaepernick? Turns out it doesn't really matter, both have been wildly erratic this season, and are only separated by one point per game. The Bamfers are mysteriously at 0.500 despite being outscored 228 to 333 PF/PA. Some of that disparity was caused by a 73-129 WK1 loss to Jedi Knights but mostly it's because in WK3 the Bamfers somehow magically only scored 25 points. For the whole week. Seriously, take a look.  In their other two outings, Randy's fighting heroes didn't pass the seventy points scored mark. Again, this team is at 0.500.

The good news: Frank Gore has been pretty good. Better news: Randy kept Fred Jackson, who is a top ten running back so far. That's actually better than great news because C.J. Spiller has been horrific. In what was supposed to be a huge follow up to his breakthrough season, Spiller has totally regressed and is being outpaced by Jackson. Tight end Owen Daniels is leading this team in receiving points, mainly on the strength of an eighteen point WK1. Aside from that there's not much else here. A monster WK2 from James Jones, absolutely nothing from Kenny Britt and Santana Moss, and now Nate Burleson lost for the season. We forsee a difficult road for the Bamfers to even match their five win total from last season unless one of the quarterbacks and Spiller start picking it up.

Hungry Hungry Ouroborous (1-3)
Collapsing down the stretch last season to the tune of three straight losses, Jon's team came out of the gates with another three loss streak to start 2013. One of those losses could have been salvaged by starting Mike Wallace in WK2 but complaining about what could have been is for wimps. In WK4, the Angry Angry Ouroborous put the smack down to the tune of 136 points, our high mark of the season, and finally got in the wins column after almost a year out of the limelight. Seriously, their last victory was WK10 last season, which was very likely November 2012. That's a loooong time to go in-between wins. Clearly, this is now a team on the rise! Okay, maybe not as the Ouroborous haven't eclipsed eighty points in any of their previous three games. Their decent Points For is inflated by one big week but otherwise this team is starving for points.

There is some talent on the team though. Matt Ryan has maintained his excellent QB status, and Victor Cruz momentarily sits atop the WR charts. With Eric Decker, Julian Edelman, and Mike Wallace also on board, there is an above average passing game. Especially with Antonio Gates deciding to rejuvenate himself this season through a steady diet of carne asada burritos. Jon's team even features two running backs who both average double digits: Darren Sproles and rookie Giovani Bernard. Both are erratic but their open field skills give the Ouroborous a wide open attack. Highly biases analysis says that this team should be better, but the on-field results speak otherwise. The Ouroborous are just eating themselves.

Team Cameltoe (1-3)
Over an extremely busy off-season, Felipe completely rebuilt his team, to much applause and acclaim. After posting just four wins last year, there was nowhere else to go but up. Unfortunately, they seem to be taking two steps back before any steps forward. To be fair, new acquisition Jordy Nelson has been better than hoped -- currently ranked #3 in WR points by average -- but Russell Wilson has been less than spectacular. To put it mildly. Will he eventually be worth the two RD1s and one RD2 Felipe gave up for him? Time will tell. Currently, Wilson is keeping pace with EJ Manuel, and arguably being outperformed by the rookie too. (Does Cameltoe regret not just keeping Jay Cutler?)

As for new running back Daryl Richardson, he's been awful, simply awful. The only worse things have been keepers David Wilson and Chris Ivory. Between the two of them, they've accrued twelve points total on the season -- Richardson has seventeen, for a 4.3 point average. To add insult to injury, the Bears D/ST that Cameltoe received in Trade ID#165 is now back on the Mandalorian Warriors, and outperforming the Buccaneers defense that Felipe has been rolling out. The only other bright spot for this team is Julio Jones, who has paired with Nelson to be a dominating duo. Even with this being a weak division, we find it hard to see Cameltoe picking up many wins this season, unless someone can donate a running back to the Cameltoe cause. Anyone, anyone?

East Conf Early Look: Lebowski Achievers

Last year, the Lebowski division was very respectable, and it had the eventual champion emerge from its depths. Right now it boasts one of the four 3-1 teams, but it's not who you think it is! Read on to find out who might upseat the mighty Mandalorians for division supremacy. Last year's peek into Lebowski Achievers at WK7.

Detroit Players (3-1)
Ariel had five wins all of last season so he must be ecstatic to be sitting atop the division, even if only temporarily. The Players started the season off strong but have slowly dipped from 90 to 80 to 74 to 50 points each successive week. Three wins is three wins but that's not a good trend. Half the starting lineup is on bye this upcoming week too, so that could be a loss. Enjoy the view from up there buddy, it could be a short stay.

As of WK4, the Players haven't touched their starting lineup yet. It's been Robert Griffin III, DeMarco Murray, A.J. Green, Mike Williams, Hakeem Nicks, and Kyle Rudolph all the way. In some cases that's good, i.e. DeMarco Murray who finds himself as a top seven RB. In some cases that has meant sticking with Nicks and Rudolph, who are both kind of floundering. It isn't like Ariel isn't trying to move them out of the starting lineup, it's just that he's got nobody else. Seriously, his bench is paper thin, with Jets WR Stephen Hill the only non-QB player averaging more than three points a game. The Players really need RG3 to find his groove again, and if he and A.J. can pick it up there's a chance for Ariel to capitalize on his fast start to continue into playoff contention. The division title though, is almost assuredly going to the looming juggernaut behind him...

Mandalorian Warriors (2-2)
The defending champs are shockingly only 0.500, despite leading the league in scoring and not playing an awful schedule so far. The Warriors first loss was by one point in WK1 -- to Italian Stallionz -- but overall there's nothing for Matt to worry about here. His team has scored 89+ points in each game and still features the greatest keeper core ever assembled. Hyperbole? I don't know, I haven't been in this league long enough. You tell me. While injuries to Rob Gronkowski, Roddy White, and Steven Jackson have sapped Matt's team of some strength, the Warriors clearly aren't hurting for scoring. Not with Drew Brees and LeSean McCoy leading the way!

Brandon Marshall is doing his best to drag the receiving corps along as he awaits the return of his talented buddies. And heck, Knowshon Moreno has emerged out of the Denver doghouse to pretty much do what Steven Jackson would have been expected to, which is score enough to be right outside the top ten RBs. Heck, Matt Prater is the best kicker around too, as if the Warriors needed more riches. I don't have much else to say here. The Warriors are the cream of the crop, even when injured, and it looks like Matt should start a side project, like maybe picking up a bench mob of all "Matt" players, starting with his recent acquisition, Matt Cassel.

WS Tartars (2-2)
Finally, a team that makes sense. When Jay's team scores in the 50s, they lose. When they score near the 80s, they win. Woohoo, paragraph done! Last year produced only four wins for Tartars but with this awesome new system in place, and a soft schedule, it looks like Jay can rest easy and just let his team cruise control to 0.500, alternating 50s and 80s. It would be a stretch to call this team "good," as they don't seem to have a single bright spot on the roster. Its poor keeper score reflected this.

I mean, the franchise cornerstone, Maurice Jones-Drew, has put up nineteen total points this season. And he's been healthy! The other RB, Jonathan Stewart, has been down for the count all season and he's not likely to come in to save anyone's job anytime soon. There's also a lot of confusion at the top as there are four quarterbacks on the roster. Andy Dalton got three okay starts before Alex Smith stepped in to toss three touchdowns last week. He could be the new go-to guy. Behind them are Ben Roethlisberger and Josh Freeman, the latter who should have been dropped weeks ago.

We are glad to see receiver Torrey Smith show some consistency this year -- he leads this team in scoring -- and Stevie Johnson has been good too, along with a possible excellent waiver wire pickup Jerome Simpson. After that it's pretty bare for the Tartars, unless you count hoping for a LeSean McCoy injury to unleash Bryce Brown stuff Tartars fans dream of. We have absolutely no idea where this team is headed, as only a single point separates their PF/PA counts. I'm actually hoping that Jay somehow pilots his team to the top of the division, unseating Mandalorian Warriors and knocking them out of wild card contention to boot. Cross your fingers!

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (1-3)
If you thought Ann Arbor Bamfers' PF/PA disparity was bad, get a load of DM Paper Company's 279-387. They didn't have a record breaking low score but after a normally scored WK1 win, Mike's team faced 99, 107, and 108 point scoring opponents. Ouch. Nobody can win consistently versus that type of schedule. The matchups get a lot easier the next couple of weeks though, so there's a chance for the Paperboys to right the ship. They'll have to work overtime to match their eight wins from last year though. Most of the problem stems from the stalled backfield of Arian Foster and Chris Johnson. Foster is at 12.5 points per game, good for top ten RB status, but he needs to be top three for this team to chug along. As for Johnson, he hasn't hit double digits or the end zone yet. Unfortunately, Jacquizz Rodgers and Foster handcuff Ben Tate aren't exactly ready to slide into full featured roles either.

The receiving game is in trouble too. Dwayne Bowe is having a slow start, Miles Austin's hamstring is acting up (again), Malcom Floyd just got shut down for the season, and tight end Vernon Davis has been very bad after a promising WK1. Nobody-knows-who-he-is Brian Hartline is contributing more than Bowe and Austin this season. Maybe it's time to play youngster Alshon Jeffery? With nobody to pass to, Tony Romo really needs his running backs to step up. Can Michael Scott come in to save the day? Heck, someone call Dwight.