West / Red: Knights Who Say Ni

Team Grrrrific (4-9)
It’s gonna be an uphill battle for new owner Donny as he inherited a keeper core of Isaiah Crowell, Matt Forte, Kenny Britt, Pierre Garcon, and Spencer Ware. See any current or potential stars in there? Noooope! As a veteran fantasy player though, GM Donny went right to work, flipping a future pick for Jamison Crowder and thus getting some intriguing youth for the future. In the draft, he took Dalvin Cook at 1.3, followed that up with draft and semi-stash rookie Mike Williams in RD2, and then started working to get some competitive players on-board in the form of Darren McFadden, Chris Hogan, Eric Ebron, Jay Cutler, Jason Witten, and Giovani Bernard. Injuries have been both kind and mean to Grrrrific, as Julian Edelman’s season ending injury now gives Hogan an increased role. On the other hand, Spencer Ware is now out for the season. Of course, the night before NFL started, Donny made a trade of Cook and Jay Cutler for 1.6 Kareem Hunt and Tyrod Taylor, and then Hunt went on to have the greatest fantasy debut in history. So if Hunt can emerge as a star, Team Grrrrific’s rebuilding prospects just got much better. Can they challenge for a playoff spot this year? Let’s find out!

Jedi Knights (4-9)
Chris’ team went the first eight years of Maize and Blue without winning a division title. Then he ripped off four straight from 2012-15, while also accruing the highest regular season wins twice during that span. Unfortunately, 2016 was a down year as Knights stumbled to just four wins and might be heading into a downturn with after achieving so much regular season success and yet just one post-season win. With no pick until RD3 this year — and many more high picks still due to Another Bad Creation for the Marshawn Lynch trade — Jedi will have to be creative while climbing back to respectability. Eli Manning is a shocking thirty-six years old and Chris drafted both Brian Hoyer and 2017 #2 Mitchell Trubisky to lead this franchise into the future.  Future Trubisky will have TY Hilton, Emmanual Sanders, and Greg Olsen to throw to, plus Danny Woodhead and 3.4 pick Theo Riddick to throw to out of the backfield. Knights also drafted rookie Cooper Kupp, and “prove it soon” youngish veterans like CJ Prosise, Kenny Stills, and Eli Rogers. With Eli Manning starting to age — Peyton Manning was a mainstay for Jedi during their successful runs — it could be time for a total rebuild here.

Another Bad Creation (8-5)
With four first round picks this year, four more next year, and three more in 2019 and 2020 each, ABC has the brightest future of any franchise. As the champ just two years ago, Another Bad Creation is poised to rule Maize and Blue for years if GM Oliver can play his cards right. While ABC hasn’t won the division since 2012, we feel a change coming. As the historical leader in division titles for Knights Who Say Ni, we see ABC padding those numbers soon. And now, 2017 #1 pick Leonard Fournette joins the fold after Oliver moved up in the draft. Fournette immediately becomes the franchise back and he’ll team with rich man Kirk Cousins to lead a stable of young guns. Michael Thomas and Terrelle Pryor both had substantial rookie seasons, oft-injured Stefon Diggs and Tyler Lockett both always intrigue, and if healthy, Jordan Reed is a force at tight end. While Bilal Powell, rookie Samaje Perine, and TJ Yeldon don’t exactly project well if Fournette goes down, ABC will have plenty of shots in future drafts to find another franchise runner. Who traded Oliver all those damn picks?!

P Funk All Stars (9-4)
After a pair of 2-11 seasons, P Funk came out of nowhere to grab their second division title — their first was in 2005 — and brought themselves back into the conversation. Of course, Paolo’s team has done this before. From 2009-2015, they won one game twice, two games three times, and had a five and eight win season stuck in-between there. So is P Funk finally for real? With two RD1 picks, they grabbed Marshawn Lynch at 1.7, touchdown machine Mike Gillislee at 1.14, and then went on a run of young guys with rookies Evan Engram, DeShone Kizer, and Curtis Samuel in subsequent rounds — plus Taywan Taylor in RD8. The youth movement dovetails nicely with this keeper core, as Derek Carr and Amari Cooper are a fantastic foundation to build on. Paolo will need Ameer Abdullah to stay healthy, Carr to return from his own injury, and find some other receiver pieces between DeVante Parker, Donte Moncrief, or Laquon Treadwell to step up as the rookies season. With Beast Mode added to Oakland, we’ll see if the Raiders and P Funk All Stars are for real or not…

East / Blue: Ohana

Squirtle Squad (4-9)
It’s been a couple of up and down years for Squirtles, as they dropped back down to four wins after winning the division in 2015 — coming off a 4-9 year in 2014. (Their 2010 title feels like so long ago!) Brian’s team has struggled with consistency and is now historically the worst team in the traditionally tough Ohana division. Squirtles were hit hard by injuries last year but now everyone is healthy. Tom Brady will probably retire after NE’s Thursday showing and that means Jimmy Garoppolo better get ready to step up for Squirtles and Patriots. Adrian Peterson is a MVP candidate, oh wait, probably not. Yup, it’s time for this team to undergo a rebuild. And GM Brian knows it as he went heavy with rookies in the draft with top ranked receiver Corey Davis, Alvin Kamara  at 2.5, tight end David Njoku, and then Chris Carson in four straight picks. Young vets John Brown, De’Angelo Henderson, and George Kittle join the team too but if Keenan Allen and Martinis Bryant can stay healthy, all the young guys will get time to grow into their roles. Lamar Miller, Zach Miller, and Allen Robinson are around too, but their upside is limited. Looks like Squirtles is committing to the future and they could have some time before they become championship relevant again.

Italian Stallionz (6-7)
Speaking of relevant, Stallionz is having a bit of that problem themselves. With no division titles ever, three losing seasons in their last four, Porta’s fanbase is looking for some hope. And hope is here! In the form of Tyreek Hill, one of the most exciting NFL players around, and when paired with future stars Marcus Mariota and Devonta Freeman, the Italian horses could be on the move. Well, hopefully. Porta’s hoping the Williams’, Jamaal and Joe (of GB and SF respectively) will help add some additional oomph to his ground game should Freeman or his Falcons backup Tevin Coleman slow down. Old vet Brandon Marshall moves ahead of young talent Sterling Shepard, which could make Shepard another year away. But hey, Michael Crabtree and Marshall can teach him a lot of things right? Overall, Stallionz are stuck in on/off mediocrity and they’re hoping the mix of old vets, a few promising youngsters, and the immortal Ted Ginn can get them over the hump.

Fockers (7-6)
Dracarys! Our defending champs have already declared their repeat guarantee and has spent the whole off-season reminding everyone within earshot that Fockers were the title holders. “Where’s my ring?!” Hong loves to remind us. Another title could be hard to achieve with Andrew Luck out for an unspecified amount of time and Carson Palmer will need to hold the fort until Luck can return. Of course, LeVeon Bell, Dez Bryant, Demaryius Thomas, and Jimmy Graham are all in their prime players who give Fockers one of the best keeper cores around. Adding Davante Adams at 1.10 will only bolster the lineup even more. We don’t actually know who else is on this roster but will it ultimately matter? Fockers are here to talk shit and win games and as they proved last season, they’re a team to be feared when the stakes are high. LONG LIVE FOCKKKKKKK.

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)
It’s been awhile since Jose and Jayvee’s last title. Three long years. For a franchise accustomed to ultimate success, that is just too long. With only one losing season in their last seven — plus four division titles — Pooh Bears continues to win games, move assets to get more assets, and showcase a stellar winning percentage (62.7%) that has them tied with ABC for best regular season W/L/T total in Maize and Blue. Last year’s 10-3 squad was a return to form after two non-playoff seasons and Pooh Bears boasts the best player in the game: David Johnson. Add in last year’s rookie sensation Ezekiel Elliot (now able to play), Antonio Brown, Mike Evans, Brandin Cooks, and a slew of future picks, we see no end in sight to J’s future. A proper tight end needs to be found, and Cam Newton needs to regain his fantasy form, but this is the leading contender for 2017’s championship, make no doubt about it. Let’s see if Pooh Bears can win a title this year to tie ABC for three, and then also beat out ABC for best historical regular season wins.

East / Gold: Green and White

Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (3-10)
Back with yet another new name, Mike is going back to the past with a stellar Last Starfighter reference. It’s been a bad two years for XKDA and they matched their franchise worst 3-10 record from 2006 with last season’s three win effort. If you’re wondering, yes that was the worst record in the league. This year’s version will still be piloted by Matt Stafford and he’ll still have Jeremy Maclin, Alshon Jeffery, and Kyle Rudolph to throw to, but the biggest new weapon will be 2017 #2 overall pick Christian McCaffrey, of whom much is expected. If McCaffrey can be as explosive as advertised, he’ll steady bring some pizzazz to the roster, and perhaps give Xur a shot at getting out of the Toilet Bowl depths. There’s plenty of intriguing young talent from Mike’s draft — Thomas Rawls, Zay Jones, rookie Lions’ giant receiver Kenny Golladay, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and maybe even a resurgent shot of Jamaal Charles, now in Denver. We’re a little concerned about the double defense drafting of Patriots (6.1) and Packers (10.1) but if defense wins championships then XKDA is on the right track!

Mandalorian Warriors (6-7)
The Warriors have seen better days. With a division leading five division titles in their history, as well as back-to-back Super Bowl appearances in 2011-2, plus a title in 2012, Matt has certainly established himself as an owner to be feared. Well, at least until the last three years, where Warriors are clearly on a downward and rebuilding trajectory. The good news is that Mandalorians never die — they just get cloned — and their last three year stretch without a post-season appearance resulted in the aforementioned glory years of 2011-13. The path back to the top starts with Aaron Rodgers at the helm, and he’s flanked by DeMarco Murray behind him. However, the season ending injury to Julian Edelman certainly hurts, depriving Warriors of their best receiving threat. Larry Fitzgerald is still on hand to catch a lot of balls but he’s no longer a top option. With no first round pick this year, Warriors went kicker very early (2.7) and then Cardinals defense in RD3 (3.8). Matt seems to be rolling the dice on the likes of Marquise Goodwin, Jack Doyle, Cole Beasley, Willie Snead, and the like to carry his team back toward contention. Will this be the end of the three year downswing? Or will the Warriors rise again?

Stink Pink Gators (7-6)
New owner Dave is positioned to build from a position of strength as Detroit Players haven’t had a losing season in four years and have a storied history including back-to-back titles in 2007-08. The Gators are tied with Warriors with the best overall historical record in the division — both are 91-76-2 — and could gain a nice bragging edge here with a winning season. Last year’s squad upset top seeded 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears in the first round but was dispatched by eventual champion Fockers in the conference finals. But that’s all old history now! Dave inherited a core of Jameis Winston, AJ Green, Mark Ingram, Jarvis Landry, and Zach Ertz and then drafted receiver turned running back Ty Montgomery, Paul Perkins, rookie receivers Adam Thielen and John Ross, and then some youngish vets like Wendell Smallwood, Kendall Wright, Marqise Lee, C.J. Fiedorowicz, and Chris Thompson. Stink Pink Gators will clearly be future focused but they can still be mighty competitive even as Dave quickly finds his footing in Maize and Blue.

Sweep The Leg Zabka (9-4)
Our #2 power ranked team last season — and back-to-back division champ — got upended by Fockers in the first round last year, dashing their title hopes. Since taking the league by storm since his entrance in 2014, Alan has gone 8-5, 8-5, and 9-4 in his three seasons. And now he’s brought some reinforcements in old frenemies Dave and Donny! (Donny is in the West Conference while both Alan and Dave are in the East, which could potentially set up an all Spartan Super Bowl one day…) Zabka will still be powered by the Drew Bree’s and Odell Beckham Jr duo, and now with hopefully healthy seasons from Rob Gronkowski, Sammy Watkins, and Kelvin Benjamin, there’s no question this an all air offensive — spare receiver Jameson Crowder was even traded pre-draft. But who will run for these guys? Last year it was Latavius Murray and Jonathan Stewart splitting time and now Stewart is back via draft although the week one starter looks to be Terrance West. Alan knows he needs a sturdier running game and went heavy with five of them in the draft — Rob Kelley, Marlon Mack, Eddie Lacy, Stewart again, and D’Onta Freeman. Can this team stay healthy enough to take Zabka over the top, or will injuries derail their championship hopes yet again?

West / White: The Big House

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (4-9)
Since taking over in 2012, Jon has gone 5-8, 5-8, 4-9, 5-8, and 4-9. This after inheriting a 9-3-1 team that had just won a Super Bowl. With no winning record, no post-season appearances, and nary a franchise player on-board, it’s fair to question if Ouroboros has been the worst replacement franchise ever. And on the heels of last year’s disastrous season, GM Jon traded away Matt Ryan, last season’s NFL MVP, for a pittance pre-draft. But hey, Ouroboros are great at being active on the trade wire! And here we go again, as Jon launches yet another rebuild, this one involving trading away the 2017 #1 overall pick — at least Ouroboros has won a Toilet Bowl — and then made a few more moves to push again into the top of the draft.

At the end of the day, Ouroboros moved Matt Ryan, Cameron Meredith, Leonard Fournette (1.1), 2017 RD2 (2.3 - OJ Howard), and 2018 RD1 for Joe Mixon (1.4), 2017 RD1 (1.6 - Kareem Rush), 2018 RD1, and 2020 RD4. Post-draft, there was also a Kareem Rush and Tyrod Taylor (3.3) for Dalvin Cook (1.3) and Jay Cutler (6.2) trade that already looks uneven on the heels of Rush’s incredible 40+ point season debut. Sigh. Ouroboros will fight for a winning record behind Dak Prescott, Jay Ajayi, Todd Gurley — 2015’s trade up from 1.4 to 1.1 — and a stable of unproven receivers in Corey Coleman, Kevin White, and Hunter Henry. Sound promising? Noooope! But at least Korean kicker Younghoe Koo will add interest to this perpetual bottom dweller.

Team Cameltoe (5-8)
After a tough 16-34-2 four year stretch from 2010-13, it looked like Felipe had righted the ship again with two straight playoff appearances and a division title in 2014 — albeit with a losing 6-7 record — and would continue to surge back into contention. Instead, Team Cameltoe slipped back to five wins and right into the Toilet Bowl with a late season swoon. The good news is that Cameltoe has a solid threesome of Russell Wilson, breakout sophomore star Jordan Howard, and the incomparable Julio Jones to anchor his team. Jordy Nelson also had a huge bouceback season and adds a fourth bonafide star to the team. If CJ Anderson can return from his injury, Cameltoe could easily re-challenge for the division lead.

However, past trades have hamstrung Cameltoe’s draft, as they only had one pick in the first four rounds (Eric Decker at 3.6) and that forced Felipe to fill out his roster with “used to have buzz” characters like Jacquizz Rodgers, Coby Fleener, Tavon Austin, Charles Clay, and Trevor Siemian. Well, maybe not the last one, as a post-draft trade brought in Jared Goff for the backup quarterback job. Still, if the big four can stay healthy and either Anderson or currently suspended Doug Martin can pick up their game, we see this team moving right back into the playoffs.

Ann Arbor Bamfers (9-4)
Boasting the lowest historical win percentage in Maize and Blue isn’t exactly a badge of honor — 63-105-1, 37.3% — but Bamfers were hampered by a three year stretch where they had a combined six wins total. Bamfers have not been terrible aside from those seasons, and have even appeared in the back-to-back playoffs in 2012 and 2013. But nobody except friends and family of Randy could have expected a franchise record 9-4 season last season and the Ann Arbor fan base remains optimistic but wary. Can Philip Rivers, Melvin Gordon, Frank Gore, Golden Tate, and Delanie Walker bring Bamfers to the playoffs once again?

Randy certainly seems to think so, as Bamfers look to be in win-now mode, taking Randall Cobb and DeSean Jackson with their first two picks, and (despite missing out on a third rounder) nabbed a defense and kicker in RD4&5. We like this push for respectability, as Bamfers are one of only two franchisse to have never won a division title — the other franchise is Italian Stallionz. Let’s hope later round picks Latavius Murray, Taylor Gabriel, Jeremy Hill, Charles Sims, and Allen Hurns can help Bamfers along as push for that elusive Big House banner, as they almost had one last year, but lost out on a divisional record tie-break.

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4)
Our highest historical winning team also resides in this division, as Pogiboys have taken 66.9% of their games over the years. They’re officially back in championship form after a down 2014 and have added two more division titles to an awe inspiring total of ten! Of course, Pogiboys haven’t won a championship in all this time, despite all of their success. In fact, both of their Super Bowl appearances have resulted in blowouts and it’s got to infuriate Alvin that his team is perpetually just a hair away.

Some changes were made pre-draft, as Pogiboys acquired Matt Ryan, a now injured Cameron Meredith, and Doug Baldwin to bolster their keeper core. They’ll team with LeSean McCoy, DeAndre Hopkins, and Travis Kelce to get Alvin yet another shot at a title. Blake Bortles was last season’s Super Bowl starter for Pogiboys and while he was redrafted, he’ll be replaced at the helm by Ryan, who should be an upgrade. Working without a RD1 pick due to the McCoy trade, Alvin took back Duke Johnson, and then followed up with Jonathan Williams, Rishard Matthews, DeAndre Washington, rookies ArDarius Stewart, Gerald Everett, and Matt Breida. We’re not sure if that’ll all add up an elusive ring for Alvin but there’s no doubt Pogiboys will just keep on winning, and keep on hoping their luck extends all the way through to a parade. Just promise not to retire on top Alvin, we need you as commissioner extraordinaire!

Draft Review & Pre-Draft Trades 2017

Um, we don’t have time for a proper draft review, but it was an exciting time as we saw a whopping seven trades pre/mid-draft, and we also saw the #1 overall pick traded! There were also two preseason trades, giving us a whopping nine moves before the 2017 season has even begun!

• #212: Morrie’s Pogiboys receive Matt Ryan and Cameron Meredith from Hungry Ouroboros for Pogiboys 2020 RD4
• #213: Pooh Bears receive Pogiboys RD1 for Doug Baldwin, Pooh Bears 2017 RD8, RD9, RD10
• #214: Sweep the Leg Zabka receive Jedi Knight 2017 RD7 for Zabka 2017 RD8, RD9, RD10
• #215: Jedi Knights receive Carlos Hyde from Pooh Bears for Jedi 2022 RD2
• #216: Team Grrrrific receive Jameson Crowder from Sweep the Leg Zabka for Team Grrrrific 2020 RD4
• #217: Hungry Ouroboros receive Cameltoe 2017 RD1 (1.6) from Pooh Bears for Ouroboros 2017 RD2 (2.3) and 2018 RD1
• #218: Another Bad Creation receive Leonard Fournette from Hungry Ouroboros for Joe Mixon and 2018 RD1 pick (second earliest of ABC’s 2018 picks)
• #219: Team Cameltoe receive Jared Goff, Zabka's 2018 RD9 from Sweep the Leg Zabka for Cameltoe 2018 RD8
• #220: Hungry Ouroboros receive Dalvin Cook, Jay Cutler from Team Grrrrific in exchange for Kareem Hunt, Tyrod Taylor

For the most part, it was Pogiboys, Ouroboros, and Grrrrific making multiple moves as Pogiboys picked up a new starting quarterback, Matt Ryan, and a new keeper receiver in Doug Baldwin. Pre-keeper declarations, Jedi Knights swooped in to grab Carlos Hyde while Donny made his first move in acquiring Jameson Crowder for a cheap price. And then Ouroboros went to work, trading down from #1 to #4, and then trading again to grab the #6 overall pick as well. — and then making a move to trade that #1.6, Kareem Hunt, in exchange for #1.3, Dalvin Cook after the draft. All in all, an exciting time and we look forward to many more trades this season!

Keeping in line with our diminishing draft reviews by round — we only looked at three last season — we’re gonna just go through the first two rounds here.

ROUND ONE
Rookie running backs were all the rage this year, as Leonard Fournette, Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook, and Joe Mixon went off the board in short order to Another Bad Creation (trade-in), Shoguns of Harlem, Team Grrrrific, and Hungry Hungry Ouroboros respectively. The only rookie receiver to see any love was Corey Davis at 1.5 (Squirtle Squad) and in fact, no other receiver even went until Davante Adams at 1.10 to Fockers. Eleven of the top fourteen picks were running backs, which broke the record of ten running backs drafted in the first round, from 2015.

P Funk All Stars took the gamble on Marshawn Lynch at 1.7, and then it was a pair of Green Bay running backs, rookie Jamaal Williams by Italian Stallionz and Ty Montgomery by Stink Pink Gators afterwards. Green Bay was a popular first round destination as Ann Arbors took Randall Cobb with 1.12 too.

With four picks in the first round, resulting from an incredibly Celtics/Nets type trade a few years ago, Another Bad Creation not only moved up for Fournette but also nabbed Bilal Powell, rookie Samaje Perine, and yet another Packer, new tight end Martellus Bennett. Cleaning up the bottom of the round was 100 Acre Wood Bears, who scooped up rookie quarterback Deshuan Watson with the last pick in the round.

ROUND TWO
And as usual, 100 Acre Pooh Bears had a bunch of extra picks in the early rounds, this time concentrated in RD2, with picks 2.3 (OJ Howard), 2.6 (Ben Roethlisberger), 2.10 (Austin Hooper), and 2.16 (Tyrell Williams). The rich keep getting richer right? And Pooh Bears wasn’t the only team with multiple picks, as the previously named Shoguns of Harlem — now Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada — CGIed themselves into Thomas Rawls at 2.1 and then Mike Wallace with 2.4. Mandalorian Warriors poached New England with their two picks, with James White at 2.11 and our first kicker, Stephen Gostkowski all the way up at 2.7 — a full two rounds above where the first kicker tends to go.

Team Grrrrific grabbed semi-injured rookie Mike Williams early on, a smooth move considering their rebuilding plans, and fellow rookie Alvin Kamara was taken three picks later by Squirtle Squad. With a strong crop of offensive rookies, we saw them fly off the board in the early rounds this draft, including our second rookie TE in Evan Engram (P Funk All Stars, 2.14). Some rookies from last year went early too, like Sterling Shepard, Paul Perkins, and the aforementioned Austin Hooper. All three flashed promise last year but will need more seasoning. Perhaps their sophomore season will be their breakout year?

Relative old man DeSean Jackson — the third oldest player drafted in the first two rounds behind Lynch and Wallace — signals Ann Arbor Bamfers desire to stay in title contention this season. Duke Johnson by Morrie’s Pogiboys and Rob Kelley by Sweep the Leg Zabka are both in questionable playing time arrangements, but could work out.

And here concludes our quick draft review, onto individual teams and divisions! Thanks for completing our CBS draft in record time and thanks to Alvin again for setting up all the behind the scenes stuff, which is incredibly time consuming!

New Owners: Monsters Manual

There haven’t been a lot of turnover in Maize and Blue, as membership has stayed mostly steady over the years. Alan came abroad in 2014, defending champion Hong in 2013 (initially in a co-ownership role), Jon in 2012, and before that Porta in 2011. Back then, this very blog posited some expansion possibilities — really just a transparent ploy by me to get in — because it was such a long wait to crash into Maize and Blue. But this year, with just a few hours to go before the scheduled keeper declaration, we had not one but two owners drop out, citing personal reasons and a desire for more family time — or was it CTE studies and a spate of early NFL retirements also contributing to the cause?!

While we’re sad to see two original owners go in Ariel (Detroit Players) and Reno (Original Salt), we’re excited for some new blood to enter the fray. Yes, Dave and Donny are Michigan State folk but hey, until we have a battle royale for naming rights, this league still wears maize, and um, more maize. At least everyone is a Lions supporter right, right?! Haha, Lions...

Both Dave and Donny are serious fantasy veterans and came with Alan’s stamp of approval — with thankfully no GIFs — and from what I can gather, will be seriously competitors immediately. Dave will be taking over for a Players franchise that has gone 28-22-2 in the last four years, with three playoff appearances during that same span. They even boast the only the only back-to-back titles in modern MnB history, with 2007-08 being their repeat years. A few years ago we made a case that Detroit Players could be considered one of the greatest MnB franchises based on that fact alone, so that's a nice pedigree. Later on, we’ll delve into the team that Dave inherited, but it’s clear that there’s a strong tradition of winning to uphold here. Welcome Stink Pink Gators!

On the other end of the spectrum, the Original Salt franchise (formerly Rhythm Drive) has been a little less successful. A combined five year record of 21-44, a history of in-season mismanagement, and a fan base that has been screaming for a change at the top. After being one of the stronger teams in MnB’s early history, Original Salt really fell off the tracks after 2011. Then again, they did win an astonishing title in 2014, in an upset playoff run that shocked the nation and gave hope to every underdog forever. That 6-7 team snuck into the playoffs and then proceeded to show MnB what a focused — and slightly lucky — Salt franchise was capable of. With new owner Donny exuding confidence and experience, we foresee a quick rebuild and a return to glory for Team Grrrrific — that’s four “R’s” to engrave onto a future trophy, if you please.

The nice thing about having two owners enter together is that there’s a built-in rivalry. Stink Pink Gators and Team Grrrrific will always be mentioned together, like Biggie and Tupac, Magic and Bird, Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf. (Oops on that last one, whom Dave admitted to selecting over Manning during their rookie season.) Beyond that, Dave and Donny have been playing fantasy football together — with Alan — since the mid/late Nineties. Well placed sources say that Donny has tended to get the better of Dave during their extensive history, but Donny’s champioship breakthrough came in 2012, after sixteen long years of fantasy playing. Of course, if we’re counting XFL championships, then Dave is the reigning king, with a 2001 XFL title behind MVP Tommy Maddox! Let's see if our new D&D duo can reign atop Maize and Blue and take us one step closer to ultimate doom: "Spartan teams are never beaten, all through the game they fight; fight for the only colors, green and white." Somebody go squat on greenandwhiteleague.com right now...