Super Bowl XIIII

#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) def #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3), 143.5 - 97.0
Suffice to say, we’ve been here before. But at least this time, the Pooh versus Pogiboys matchup featured some scoring, unfortunately, it was mostly on Pooh’s side as they raced out to a huge lead early Sunday. By the time Patrick Mahomes and Doug Baldwin made their last ditch efforts to make up a 100+ point difference, most of the Pogi faithful were already tucked home safe in their beds, their daymare already over. We wish we had better news out there for the underdogs but this was a brutal beatdown by Pooh Bears, as they once again cement their status as the king of Maize and Blue.

With this victory, Pooh Bears have tied Another Bad Creation for the most titles since 2004 — three apiece — and now the race is on to see who can capture that fourth ring first. For now though, there’s no question that 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears are the best franchise in the history of MnB. With ten division titles, the second-best overall regular season record, one Toilet Bowl win, and three rings, nobody else stacks up to them.

Oh right, a little about the actual game. Deshuan Watson and Antonio Brown combined for 72 points, while every other position player put up double-digits. Overall it was a basic walk in the park for Pooh this season as they led the East with ten wins, put up a second-best 103.9 PA per week, dropped all respective lower seeds on their way to a title, and well, just took care of business by going 8-0-1 over the last nine weeks of the season. Led by Ezekiel Elliot, Brown, Mike Evans, David Johnson, and the dual-headed quarterback crew of Deshaun and Cam Newton, J and Jayvee only had to field twelve total position players all season long as they were a vision of stability. How can a third title be so boring?

With a slew of extra picks coming their way as usual, Pooh has a nice shot at being our first repeat champ since 2007-08. All hail the Pooh Bears reign — and Soliman reign, as Alan won Super Bowl XIII last season — and long may we live in fear. Congrats Solimans!

As of Morrie’s, this was their third Super Bowl loss in as many tries, and the only consolation is that there’s always next year. Armed with Patrick Mahomes, rookies Baker Mayfield and Nick Chubb, plus a deep receiving corps, Pogiboys should still remain a contender for years to come. Better luck tomorrow Alvin, better luck tomorrow.

Toilet Bowl IV

#4 Italian Stallionz (5-8) def #2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7), 110-93
After eliminating top seeded Fockers last week, Italian Stallionz set their sights on another upset in the Toilet Bowl finals and got a tougher matchup this time. Coming from behind, Stallionz really poured it on with Chris Carson and Tyreek Hill late — combined 33 points — to insure the victory as Hungry Hungry Ouroboros failed to sub out an injured Todd Gurley in time. Not that it would have mattered, because Aaron Rodgers’ 42 points gave Stallionz the likely win and then Carson/Hill took it home down the stretch.

It didn’t look good for Stallionz heading into the Toilet Bowl, as they had scored under 55+ in WK12-13, but they righted the ship at just the right time and put up 91.0, 80.5, and then 110.0 points to take the consolation tournament. We noted that Stallionz were lacking a run game all season but then Chris Carson caught fire with 15, 22, and 23 points for the past three weeks, solidifying his chances next year as an important keeper. Add on another (likely) young runner in 2019's draft and Stallionz should hopefully find themselves back in the playoffs. And let’s not forget tight end Chris Herndon, who produced seventeen points in the victory, saving his best effort for the last game of the fantasy season.

So for Porta, this is his first Toilet Bowl win and represents a high point after four years of losing records. Last year’s Toilet Bowl winner, Grrrrific, went on to lead the league in regular season wins, so maybe this consolation win will catapult Stallionz to similar results next season. Congratulazioni Italian Stallionz, and to a bright future ahead! Arrivederci!

As for the losers, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros had a fine chance to win their second Toilet Bowl but even with Joe Mixon inserted for Gurley, no win was going to come. At least that Jaguars defense, one of Ouroboros’ 2018 keepers, came through with 17 big points in a losing effort. Um, good job?

Super Bowl Preview 2018

After a round one of no upsets, we had Pogiboys take down top seeded Team Grrrrifiic behind a huge week from DeAndre Hopkins. Doomed by an untimely worst week by Saquon Barkley — plus Kareem Hunt’s bad mojo — Donny’s team wilted in the Western Conference finals as Pogiboys took advantage of a soft one-seed to make it to their third Super Bowl in six years.

Pooh Bears had a tougher matchup, as Matt Ryan, Alvin Kamara were almost enough to get Squirtle Squad the upset but Brian’s team was playing short-handed with Keenan Allen and kicker Aldrick Rosas coming up with zeros. Almost any other receiver -- or Jake Elliot as the kicker -- would have won Squirtles the day, but instead 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears slips into their fourth Super Bowl as the favorites. Let’s take a look at the matchups!

#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3)
It’s been five years since Pooh Bears have won a ring, and they are itching for another — potentially their third. Unfortunately for Pogiboys, that last 2013 Pooh title was won at their expense!

From that 2013 team, only Cam Newton and Antonio Brown remain for Pooh, while Pogiboys have completely revamped their roster since the days of Tom Brady, Calvin Johnson, and Eddie Lacy. The good news for Alvin is that this represents a redemptive chance to win their first ring and they’ve been in two Super Bowls recently, in 2013 and 2016. And while they are technically the lower seed, they have been much better over the past month, rarely dipping below 100+ points from WK8 on. During that same period, 100AW have failed to reach one hundred points four times.

QB: Pogiboys have two options here: potential NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes or recent breakout 2018 #1 overall NFL pick Baker Mayfield. Haha, okay, it’s gonna be Mahomes. The tougher decision will what J and Jayvee do at quarterback, as Cam Newton looks injured and it seems like Deshaun Watson would be the safer pick. Either way, Mahomes should outproduce anyone Pooh can put into the lineup. Hopefully.

RB: It’s Ezekiel Elliot and David Johnson versus Tarik Cohen and rookie second-half sensation Nick Chubb. It would seem that Pooh’s Elliot and Johnson have the edge but all four backs have shown the ability for big games. Right now Ezekiel has been consistently better than the other three so we’ll give the advantage to Pooh Bears on the ground.

WR/TE: Hopkins literally won Pogiboys their matchup last week and it would be greedy to ask for another thirty-point explosion. Ditto for Doug Baldwin who caught two touchdowns last week — from the bench, since Dede Westbrook was the starter opposite Hopkins. Who gets the call at WR #2 for Pogi? It won't really matter since the pass catcher who needs to have a huge game is Travis Kelce, since that would mean Mahomes is having a similarly robust weekend.

Of course, Pooh is countering with Antonio Brown and Mike Evans, two top-ten receivers who could blow up any matchup in their own right. The drop off from Kelce versus David Njoku at tight end is too big to ignore though, so receiving edge to Pogis.

DEF/K: I can’t tell. The scoring is so wild this year that frankly, every DST is a toss up as far as I’m concerned. I guess on paper Bears defense and Stephen Gostkowski out-classes Vikings and Will Lutz? Khalil Mack and Co. get to feast on Nick Mullens though, so let’s just give Pogiboys the edge here.

Intangibles: 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears have an overall record of 125-69-1 (64.1%) since 2004, but Morrie’s Pogiboys are just a bit better at 132-59-4 (67.7%) over the past fifteen years. Pooh Bears have also dominated Ohana to the tune of ten division titles while Pogiboys have done the same to The Big House, with twelve division crowns of their own. In addition, both Pooh and Pogi have led the league in regular season wins four times each. If you’re asking, "yes, these are the two best (regular season) teams in Maize and Blue history."

So what separates them? Well, to put it kindly: 100AW Pooh Bears are winners. They’ve been to the Super Bowl in 2004, 2007, 2013, and now 2018, emerging with two rings so far. Pogiboys haven’t gotten a ring despite their 2013, 2015, and 2018 appearances. Not to mention, Pooh Bears won our inaugural Toilet Bowl in 2015 -- resulting in Elliot -- the only year they’ve entered it. Basically, Pooh Bears win, Pogiboys lose...

If there is justice in the world, Mahomes and Kelce go off for 60+ combined points and Alvin can have a celebratory Sunday evening as he watches his team finally grab a championship!

Playoffs & Toilet Bowl 2018: RD2

In what is likely a first, no higher seed was toppled in either the playoffs or Toilet Bowl. Pretty boring right? The good news is we'll get to see our best teams go at it for the right to showdown in the Super Bowl!

Eastern Conference Finals, RD2

• #1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #2 Squirtle Squad (9-4)

Western Conference Finals, RD2

• #1 Team Grrrrrific (11-2) vs #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3)

Just so it's clear, I updated the rules to say "Toilet Bowl is not conference exclusive, so we re-seed #9-16 regardless of conference. However, we keep the same matchups regardless of upsets, and don't re-shuffle each round. Ex) If #16 seed upsets #9 in RD1, they don't have to face #10 in RD2."

Toilet Bowl RD2

#1 Fockers (7-5) vs #4 Italian Stallionz (5-8)

#2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) vs #3 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7)

Toilet Bowl 2018: RD1

#1 Fockers (7-5) vs #8 P Funk All Stars (1-12)
Another winning record, another year in the Toilet Bowl. That makes two seasons in a row that Fockers have landed out of the postseason despite a good enough regular season. Heck, they won their 2016 title on the strength of a 7-6 record! A victim of a particularly strong Eastern conference did what they could but came down the stretch run with a 0-2-1 record and that pushed them out. The good news is that this team really could use a high draft pick, as the bottom fell out this year aside from all-world Davante Adams catching passes from Ben Roethlisberger and Andrew Luck. With Le’Veon Bell a season long no-show and Matt Breida getting injured the past month, the Fockers run game is in shambles. As the top seed in the Toilet Bowl, Fockers will hope to pilot themselves to a #1 overall pick.

Luckily, a first round win seems likely as Fockers will face off against one-win P Funk, who is almost aggressively tanking yet another season. Injuries were an issue for this team — Marshawn Lynch, Cooper Kupp, and Martavis Bryant all end the season on IR — but there were numerous examples of players who were in the lineup and unable to play. Add in plenty of mismanagement by Paolo over the bye weeks, and it’s surprising this team even got one victory. Averaging just 61.3 per game, it would seem a minor miracle if P Funk pulled off an upset here. Could the fans be clamoring for new ownership?!

#2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) vs #7 Mandalorian Warriors (2-11)
Ouroboros slipped their way into the playoffs last season and made some noise but it looks like a return to the playoffs won’t be in the cards for this long inept franchise. Despite owning the best fantasy player in the universe, Todd Gurley, Ouroboros couldn’t pull out one win their last month of games and will enter the Toilet Bowl as a deflated high seed. The pre-draft trade for 2018 1.5, Calvin Ridley, worked out well but after that there was almost no other successes to speak of aside from Gurley and Ridley -- and arguably a fleet of young-ish backs. I guess it’s back to the bottom for this team that made a surprise Super Bowl run last season.

Who’s the most intriguing team in Maize and Blue right now? May we present the 2020+ Mandalorian Warriors?! By our count, Mandalorian has engaged in eight trades this season, mostly of the player for future draft pick variety. GM Matt is going for a full on rebuild and dynasty build by shipping off any player that is remotely productive now for future prospects. After going 1-11 all season, it was a bit of a shock to see Warriors pick up a win in WK13, after the entire roster had been stripped for parts all year long. The bench features seven players on IR/Out and the “star” here is Jameis Winston. This is the greatest long term planning in MnB history and we’re excited to see where it ends up, if Warriors can pick up another title before the 2022 season!

#3 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7) vs #6 Jedi Knights (4-9)
Hey, six wins means Xur eclipsed their win total from the last two seasons combined! No more "worst record in the league!" Combine the emergence of sophomores Christian McCaffrey and Kenny Golladay, plus a breakout season from Jared Cook, and the Armada is trending up. Heck, even Mike's gamble for 2018 1.3 Josh Gordon mostly worked out as the repeat offender found himself in a great new situation. So while the high end for Xur is still not quite there yet, finishing strong with a 2-1 end to the regular season gives this fan base some hope, which is more than they had in recent years.

As for Jedi, it’s official: they suck. After three straight years of four wins, five wins, and four wins, this once contending franchise is on the ropes. A 3-2 start this year devolved into a 1-7 finish and facing the second-toughest PA in the league didn’t help Jedis much, as opponents scored 91.9 points per game against them. To add insult to injury, their leading scorer this season, Emmanuel Sanders, just torn his ACL in practice. Oh but there is good news here, as GM Chris has unearthed the young quarterback combo of Mitchell Trubisky and Lamar Jackson, and one of them should replace Tom Brady, who was a disappointment this year after being acquired for future picks pre-draft. The real gem this season has been Phillip Lindsay, as the Bronco evolved into one of the top rookie runners -- Chris moved two future firsts for Lindsay back in October. With a few more savvy moves, Jedi could be back on top soon despite their recent dry spell.

#4 Italian Stallionz (5-8) vs #5 Another Bad Creation (4-9)
These Stallionz are stuck in a quagmire as they’ve failed to top 0.500 in four consecutive seasons. Five wins is better than last year’s four but that’s incremental progress at best. A WK3-WK6 losing streak did this team in and Porta’s team whimpered down the end with 47.5 and 55 points scored to close the regular season. There should be some juice in the Aaron Rodgers to Tyreek Hill combination but a mostly struggling run game has been this team’s Achilles heel as they’ve rotated through Tevin Coleman, Chris Carson, now injured Alex Collins (drafted RD1.4), Austin Ekeler, Doug Martin, and Jamaal Williams. We hope Stallionz can make some noise in the Toilet Bowl because a nice young runner could really help this team get out of the cellar.

The defending Knights Who Say Ni division champs took a fall this season after tying for the most wins in MnB last year. 96.2 PA is what happened! While ABC put up a respectable 96.5 PF, they just couldn’t find much consistency all season as they boom and busted all over the place. There were injuries to be sure, mostly notably Leonard Fournette for most of the season. Without him, and with rookie Kerryon Johnson barely used, there was no ground game to speak of this year. The good news is, when ABC is on, they can cook. With Fournette back off one-game suspension, there is an impressive passing attack of Kirk Cousins, Michael Thomas, Brandin Cooks, newly revived Amari Cooper (acquired mid-season for Greg Kittle), Stefon Diggs, and Jordan Reed. During the last seven weeks, Oliver’s team has only dipped below 87.5 PF once, and we think they’re the dark horse to take the Toilet Bowl if they can string some consistent games together.

Playoffs 2018: RD1

EASTERN CONFERENCE
#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #4 Stink Pink Gators (8-5)
The kings of the East racked up their tenth division title — their third-straight — and Pooh Bears are positioned once again to make a deep run in the playoffs. After getting upset in the first round twice in a row though, J and Jayvee have to be wary of what lurks ahead and won’t be taking any matchups for granted. They are on a 5-0-1 streak to end the regular season and average a MnB second-best 103.9 points per week. Ezekiel Elliot has been incredible over the past month, plus a semi-bounceback season from David Johnson, so there’s still too much talent on this team not to be afraid of Pooh Bears. Elliot, Antonio Brown, Mike Evans, and a wonderful season from Cam Newton make this the Eastern Conference’s team to fear!

Pulling off a 8-5 record despite a PF/PA split of 1168/1174 is not easy. That’s now two playoff appearances in a row for our sophomore owner and Dave will get the chance for a huge upset if they can pull themselves together for one more big week. Stink Pink came out of the gates red hot with six wins in seven tries — as well as seven 100+ PF in eight games — but have faded down the stretch some. The loss of AJ Green was obviously a huge blow mid-season, as was quickly losing pre-draft trade acquisition Jay Ajayi earlier in the year, but that alone can’t explain Gators’ dip. Still, with Carson Wentz throwing to Adam Thielen, Zach Ertz, and Jarvis Landry, an upset could be possible!

#2 Squirtle Squad (9-4) vs #3 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
Squirtle took out the top seed last year and find themselves facing off against the defending champs! After starting off 1-3, Brian has piloted this team to an 8-1 record the rest of the way and bolstered the roster through a handful of trades — mostly with Mandalorian Warriors. Squirtles picked up Duke Johnson, Juju Smith-Schuster, Matt Ryan, and James White at the Mandalorian Megamart, and George Kittle from Another Bad Creation. After losing James Connor — and Jimmy Garoppolo much earlier — Squad has replaced every moving part and is going to ride Alvin Kamara and his built on-the-fly contender into the playoffs. We love Brian’s aggression and hope it all works out as it’s been a looooong Super Bowl drought for Squirtles.

Not every defending champ gets the chance to defend their title in the postseason but Sweep the Leg Zabka has even picked up another Green and White division title by H2H tie-breaker over Stink Pink Gators to get their back-to-back journey off right. A 5-1 record to finish up the regular season means Zabka is in fighting form and looking for an elusive Maize and Blue repeat! It’s been a tough season too, as a slew of injuries have hit this team and Alan has had to unearth guys like Jared Cook and Tyler Boyd while Rob Gronkowski and Marvin Jones sat down. Drew Brees and Odell Beckham have really kept the champs afloat and there’s going to have to be more of that to get Zabka back to a Super Bowl.

WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Team Grrrrrific (11-2) vs #8 Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
Our best team in 2018 used a league wide low PA paired with a fourth-ranked PF to rise from the depths of a 4-9 record last season to top of the charts this year! In just his second year, Donny has vaulted in the standings. Oh yeah, did we mention he won the Toilet Bowl last year and drafted Saquon Barkley? That probably had a lot to do with Grrrrific’s leap to the top. Donny was also proactive in recently trading for Russell Wilson, replacing IR-ed Andy Dalton in the lineup, shoring up that roster hole. However, the real issue facing Grrrrific is that Kareem Hunt has been cut by the Chiefs for physical violence and there’s also OJ Howard and Will Fuller on IR as well. Can Saquon, Wilson, Robert Woods, and a stiff Texans defense do enough to stave off upsets? Or will the karma from the Hunt fiasco tank this team? After starting out 0-2 and ripping off eleven straight wins and counting, we’re curious how this plays out for Donny.

Bamfers secured a third straight playoff appearance by taking out Ouroboros in WK13 behind a late surge from Golden Tate. After suffering through a five loss streak between WK7-11, Randy’s team pulled it all together for two solid wins. The big question now is what happens to Melvin Gordon and his health, as Bamfers would be left with only rookie Sony Michel in the backfield if Gordon can’t go. It’s been an up and down season for Bamfers but maybe Philip Rivers can deliver some postseason magic and get a huge upset here! (Congrats to Bamfers for edging my team out of the playoffs. My Slack overtures for Randy to lose WK13 were totally ignored…good play, good play)

#2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs #7 Team Cameltoe (7-6)
After two nine-win seasons, Pogiboys came up with another double digit win season, as well as their fourth straight Big House division title — their twelfth overall. No pressure but this could be the best shot for Pogiboys in awhile to win a long coveted ring, as they led the league in PF at 106.7 per game, enter the postseason having won five of their last six, and also face a weakened number-one seed in their conference. If the emergence of Patrick Mahomes, Tarik Cohen, and rookie Nick Chubb (acquired via trade in October) — along with Travis Kelce and DeAndre Hopkins — can’t get Pogiboys a ring, well, it’s going to be another long offseason for Alvin…

What a strange season for Cameltoe as they started off 1-4, ripped off six straight wins, and then faltered down the stretch to lose their last two. Still, Felipe has used the Jared Goff to Julio Jones and Eric Ebron combo to return Cameltoe to the playoffs after a two year drought — and shipped off former franchise savior Russell Wilson during the season. They’ll be up against a tough challenge though, as they were shellacked by first round matchup Pogiboys last week, but maybe can take faith that they rose to the occasion in WK7 and scored 128.5 in a win vs Alvin’s team. Still, for at frachise that is often under 0.500, 2018's 7-6 record has to count as a win for Cameltoe already.

Power Rankings 2018

PLAYOFF TEAMS
1. Team Grrrrrific (11-2)  - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champion.  Best Overall Record.
2. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3) - The Big House Division Champion.  Next best overall record.
3. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) - Ohana Division Champion.  Next best overall record.
4. Squirtle Squad (9-4) - Next best overall record.
5. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) - Green and White Division Champion.  Wins tiebreak over Stink Pink Gators via H2H.
6. Stink Pink Gators (8-5) - Next best overall record.
7. Team Cameltoe (7-6) - Next best overall record
8. Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7) - Wins tiebreak vs Ouroboros via Conference Record (6-4 vs 4-6).

NON-PLAYOFF TEAMS
9. * Fockers (7-5) - Next best overall record among non-playoff teams
10. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) - Wins tiebreak over Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada via Total Points For.
11. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7) - Next best overall record.
12. Italian Stallionz (5-8) - Next best overall record
13. Another Bad Creation (4-9) - Wins tiebreak over Jedi Knights via Total Points For.
14. Jedi Knights (4-9) - Next best overall record
15. Mandalorian Warriors (2-11) - Next best overall record
16. P Funk All Stars (1-12) - Next best overall record

Final Standings 2018

Full Standings Detail

Who Won: Fournette/Hunt or Cook/Mixon?

Remember two years ago when Hungry Ouroboros traded away two rookie running backs for two other ones? How’d that work out? Well, with Kareem Hunt cut by the Chiefs and possibly out of the league — although probably not because the NFL is evil — experts can finally weigh in and say that Ouroboros won ID220 trade!

Of course, Hunt had a stellar rookie season and was also ranked eighth this year, while Cook has been injured most of his career and has only put up 950 combined rushing/receiving yards with three career touchdowns. So fine, Hunt is still the winner here. Sigh.

• #218: Another Bad Creation receive 2017 RD1.1 Leonard Fournette from Hungry Ouroboros for 2017 RD1.5 Joe Mixon and 2018 RD1.7 Ronald Jones
• #220: Hungry Ouroboros receive 2017 RD1.3 Dalvin Cook and Jay Cutler from Team Grrrrific in exchange for 2017 RD1.6 Kareem Hunt, Tyrod Taylor

And how about Fournette for Mixon? That fares slightly better as Fournette has been out most of the year while Mixon has been chugging along, but there’s no question Fournette has had the better upside and career so far, despite his recent suspension. Career-wise it’s 1,924 combined yards and ten touchdowns in twenty-four games for Mixon while Fournette has put up 1,790 combined with fifteen touchdowns in eighteen games. Throw in the following year’s pick of Ronald Jones and it still doesn't match up.

Of course, the real answer to “who was the best rookie running back drafted from 2017 looks like it was Christian McCaffery, who was drafted RD1.3 and actually the real real answer is "Alvin Kamara," taken at RD2.5 by Squirtle Squad. Fantasy football is the best. 😬

2018 East / Gold: Green and White

 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (2-11, 3-10)
We thought 2016’s three-win season was bad? How about two wins?! Two years in a row of the worst record in the league — albeit tied for worst last season — and the Armada doesn’t strike fear in anybody. The good news is last year’s number one selection, Christian McCaffrey is set up for a big sophomore year and there’s hope that keepers Derrick Henry and Kenyan Drake will give this team at least a bit of punch in the run game. Kenny Golladay has talent, and is similar to a young Alshon Jeffery, but this receiving corps is unproven. Toward that end, GM Mike took the gamble on Josh Gordon at 1.3, and that will go a long way toward determining if Xur can climb out of the cellar.

We like sleeper tight end Trey Burton (2.2) and Sterling Shepard (3.2) but am wondering why the double defense, Eagles (4.2) and Packers (9.2). Surely there was other talent to mine? Still, this team is set up get at least four wins this season, and if Matthew Stafford stumbles, Eli Manning will be there to back him up. Let’s hope for the best for Xur this season!

Mandalorian Warriors (4-8-1, 6-7)
Another Gold division team going backwards, Warriors have sunk to four wins and haven’t had a winning season since 2013. Matt again had no RD1 this season, and entered the draft with Case Keenum as their starter, so it made sense to grab Matt Ryan (2.14) with their second rounder — recall that Aaron Rodgers was essentially gifted away at the beginning of last season, as neither Marcus Mariota nor Davonte Freeman made the keeper cut.

The Warriors seem to be in win now mode though, as they stretched for Stephen Gostkowski (3.5) early and none of the following picks express much upside — Theo Riddick (5.5) and oft-injured Tyler Eifert (6.5). In fact the biggest future play Warriors made was in selecting controversial quarterback Josh Allen (8.5), who will now play third string. The once mighty keeper core is getting older, with Pierre Garcon and Julian Edelman as its big names, and while JuJu Smith-Schuster and tight end Cameron Brate could be good, it seems like this teams needs talent now! Oh right, there’s also James White as the third-down back here. Should we pencil Warriors in for another Toilet Bowl?

Stink Pink Gators (9-4, 7-6)
It looks like Dave’s first season in Maize and Blue was a complete success! Finishing as a top five team and leading MnB in scoring, Stink Pink’s rookie season was derailed by a Carson Wentz injury and a first-round exit to the eventual champs. Not bad for a first showing!

The passing attack of Wentz, AJ Green, Jarvis Landry, Zach Ertz, and rookie find Adam Thielen looks fantastic, and a pre-draft trade to bring in Jay Ajayi and dump Mark Ingram officially makes this team the MnB Eagles. If anyone has any spare Eagles, trade them to Stink Pink now! The ground game could be further bolstered by Dave’s first three selections: Rashaad Penny (1.12), Peyton Barber (2.12), and Jordan Wilkins (3.12). Alex Smith and Jack Doyle are overqualified backups and we love Keelan Cole (6.12) as a late pick.  It looks like Stink Pink could challenge for the division title yet again!

Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-3-1, 9-4)
It took four years and two shots at it, but Alan has finally reached the apex of Maize and Blue. Last year’s thrilling comeback in Super Bowl XIII was the stuff of dreams and now Sweep the Leg will have Odell Beckham back for the whole season. The sky’s the limit here! Drew Brees will have ODB, Rob Gronkowski, Marvin Jones, and Sammy Watkins to throw to, with Devonta Freeman providing a strong ground game. Will the league ever hear the end of it if Alan wins again?!

Sweep went for high value veterans in the draft, taking the entire Jets backfield, Isaiah Crowell (3.14) and Bilal Powell (4.6) in back-to-back rounds, and then filled out the roster with some speculative receivers and Andy Dalton (6.14) and Blake Bortles (8.7), just in case Brees stumbles. The best pick from our 2017 champs though? The draft-and-stash of Derrius Guice (1.14), which gives Alan something to look forward to after their possible repeat title. League beware… Is a dynasty around the corner?

2018 West / White: The Big House

Team Cameltoe (6-7, 5-8)
In the last eight seasons, Cameltoe has gone over 0.500 just once, in 2015 — they did win the division in 2014 though. Last year’s six wins was better than 2017, but not by much. Getting upset by Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada in the first round of the Toilet Bowl was painful too, and not having yet another first rounder hampered their chances at top talent. Still, we like Felipe’s draft of Devin Funchess (2.7), Christian Kirk (3.7), and Cameron Meredith (4.7). Should just one of them hit, keeper quarterback duo Russell Wilson and Jared Goff will have an extra piece to throw to, on top of Julio Jones and Jordy Nelson [Edit: Actually Jordy is on Zabka, Marlon Mack was Cameltoe's sixth keeper.]

Jordan Howard is a great power runner but doesn’t catch many passes, and that seems to be a theme for Cameltoe running backs, as neither keeper CJ Anderson nor Adrian Peterson (5.7) are known for their smooth pass catching skills. There’s some talent on this team but we’ll have to see if coach Felipe can get them to a winning season and pilot Cameltoe back to proper respectability.

Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6, 9-4)
The Bamfers have been to the playoffs back-to-back before, but 2012-13 was on the heels of five and six win seasons. It must feel good then to not only go the playoffs back-to-back, but finally have repeat winning seasons! However, Randy’s crew has run into Pogiboys three times in their last three playoff appearances and been bounced by Pogi each time.

The Chargers duo of Philip Rivers and Melvin Gordon are very nice, while Golden Tate and Delanie Walker are solid options at their position. 2017’s late pick Allen Hurns got injured but showed enough to become a keeper, however Randall Cobb’s days of fantasy relevance could be close to over. With that in mind, Randy went with some young receivers and tight ends in the draft: Marqise Lee (3.10), Tyrell Williams (5.10), Quincy Enunwa (10.10), Mike Gesicki (7.1), and Benjamin Watson (9.10) — who is okay, not that young at thirty-seven.

We have to question the selection of two kickers though! Greg Zuerlein (4.10) is great but why bring in Steeler Chris Boswell (6.10) two rounds later? Still, Bamfers has proven its winning ways and first round pick Sony Michel could prove to be a nice addition to the backfield too. Let’s hope Bamfers don’t disappear from contention after two solid campaigns!

Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6, 4-9)
After never getting more than five wins in a season, Ouroboros finally put together a winning record — in their sixth year of ownership, ouch. And not only that, skipped la-dee-la all the way to the champion game, coming within a few points of taking the title! All it took for this franchise turnaround? A Toilet Bowl win in 2016 and the trade up in 2015 for Todd Gurley. Even if the trade down of 2017’s top pick resulted in an injured Dalvin Cook and erratic Joe Mixon, this keeper core suddenly has some oomph on the ground. In fact, the entire keeper core consisted of Dak Prescott, Jacksonville defense, and three running backs.

Pre-draft but post-keeper, Jon moved up the draft board again, moving Jerick McKinnon to Pogiboys for essentially Calvin Ridley (1.5) and Larry Fitzgerald. Ouroboros used their own first rounder on rookie Ronald Jones (1.7) and then moved to grab some receivers to flesh out this passing game: Robby Anderson (2.9) and Josh Doctson (3.9). Two more rookie runners joined the team, Nyheim Hines (4.9) and Karen Ballage (5.9) so it’s looking likely Jon is just going to put out an all-RB team. Can Ouroboros sustain their success or were they just a flash in the pan?

MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4, 9-4)
Yawn. Pogiboys won a division for the eleventh time, they were looking for a title, they got upset in the playoffs. What else is new? For Alvin’s team, a ring is the only thing. The core is fantastic, with DeAndre Hopkins and Travis Kelce rising to the tops of their respective positions, and bolstered by LeSean McCoy in the backfield, and underrated Doug Baldwin, this team has the goods. Larry Fitzgerald was shipped out for Jerick McKinnon and the new man under center is Patrick Mahomes, who replaces Matt Ryan and could face a quarterback battle from NFL #1 overall Baker Mayfield (4.15)

The draft also brought in Tarik Cohen (2.3), Chris Thompson (2.13), John Brown (4.13), Dede Westbrook (5.13), John Ross (6.13), D’Onta Foreman (7.9), and the Zabka favorite Jake Butt (7.13), but will any of this matter? When it hits December, how will these Pogis perform?

2018 East / Blue: Ohana

Italian Stallionz (4-9, 6-7)
The road back to respectability is filled with potholes, as Stallionz went from five wins in 2015, six wins in 2016, and then dipped to four wins in 2017. The good news is Porta’s team has Aaron Rodgers. Plus Tyreek Hill, who is a threat to score every time he touches the ball. The bad news is, that might be about it. Keepers Tevin Coleman and Jamaal Williams project as split-time backs, Michael Crabtree is now an old Raven, and I literally have no idea who sixth keeper Austin Ekeler is. (Then again, this prognosticator kept a DST so who am I to say anything!)

Stallionz need some talent fast and they got it, with Alex Collins (1.4), Chris Carson (2.5), and Rishard Matthews (3.3). All three are starters on their teams and could become productive pieces immediately. Later picks like rookie Tre’Quan Smith (4.3), retread Ryan Grant (6.3), and DJ Chark are shots in the dark but perfect for this team. If Rodgers can return to form, Stallionz could hit on the right pieces and go from the bottom of the cellar to challenging for their first ever division title. Let’s go!

Fockers (7-6, 7-6)
Seven wins got Fockers to a title in 2016 but that same win total dumped them into the Toilet Bowl last season, and then they were upset by a lower seed. Still, this is a contender, and with a keeper core of Le’Veon Bell, Demaryius Thomas, last year’s great RD1 Davante Adams, and Jimmy Graham, Fockers could easily get back into the playoffs. Andrew Luck has to stay healthy though, no questions asked, and without a first or third rounder this year, GM Hong took Ben Roethlisberger (2.8) early, another oft-injured quarterback.

Matt Breida (4.8) could serve as an injury replacement if McKinnon gets dinged up, LeGarrette Blount (5.8) will score touchdowns, and maybe Latavius Murray (8.8) has some grind left. Receivers Mohamed Sanu and Travis Benjamin are low end options but likely useable in a pinch. This team is still dangerous so we’ll see where Hong can take them this year behind some Luck. Oh yeah, Dez Bryant was a keeper. Dez Bryant, who isn’t yet on a NFL team… Didn’t want to keep Devin Funchess or Dion Lewis, or really, anyone else?!?

Squirtle Squad (8-5, 4-9)
The rebuild off a four-win 2017 may already be over! Squirtles catapulted themselves to a playoff spot last season and then promptly upset first seed 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears in the first round! That’s a hell of a season and Squirtles fans are ready to claim their contender status again.

The new keeper core is young young young, and already very productive. Of course Alvin Kamara’s rookie year was the highlight but the return to form of Keenan Allen was a highlight too. Amari Cooper and last year’s first rounder, Corey Davis, are still a little boom-bust, but they are both very talented. Allen Robinson has been very erratic but he could be interesting. And heck, GM Brian was so confident in Jimmy Garoppolo’s future that he traded Tom Brady away for a pittance.

Brian liked the “go young” strategy so much that he went that way again, with rookie Nick Chubb (1.11), Anthony Miller, another rookie Courtlant Sutton (4.11), and some no-names like Ricky Seals-Jones (5.11) and James Conner (6.11) that clearly have upside potential if Squirtles drafted them -- plus Duke Johnson (4.5) acquired from an earlier trade with Mandalorian Warriors. And then with in the last round, Brian draft-and-stashed Hunter Henry, a brilliant move. Welcome back Squirtles to the land of the living!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3, 10-3)
It’s been a long four years since Pooh Bears have won their last title. A ninth division title is nice but getting bounced in the first round is not. After yet another year as the best regular season team in Maize and Blue, J and Jayvee are thirsting for more rings. Last year’s campaign even featured the suspension of Ezekiel Elliot and the absence of David Johnson. This year Pooh’s ceiling might be an undefeated season!

Cam Newton and Deshaun Watson are back to lead the charge — although only one can play at a time — and Johnson/Elliot plus Antonio Brown and Mike Evans are clearly the best combination of skill position core in MnB. With seven picks in this year’s first three rounds Pooh Bears should be overstocked with talent.

Rookie DJ Moore (1.8) and Marquise Goodwin (1.9), plus David Njoku (1.16) in the first. Another rookie wide, Antonio Callway (2.16) in the second. And then Kenny Stills, Tyler Lockett, and Corey Clement in RD3, all youngish veterans with potential. Pooh had another seven picks in the draft after those first three rounds, but really, who cares! If this team can’t win another title soon, what justice is there in the world?!

2018 West / Red: Knights Who Say Ni

P Funk All Stars (2-11, 9-4)
When did this division get so awful? P Funk actually won the 2016 division title behind a nine win campaign but then promptly collapsed to the worst team in the league — that was their fourth two-win season, plus two one-win seasons. We’re gonna go ahead and say that 2016 was an outlier and treat P Funk as still rebuilding.

Paolo’s keepers have never been good, and this year is no different. Derek Carr is looking for a bounce back year — devoid of Amari Cooper, who was traded away early in 2017 — and Marshawn Lynch and Lamar Miller as the starting backfield won’t sell many tickets. DaVante Parker could get more work with Jarvis Landry gone in Miami, and Evan Engram is a decent tight end, and sure, pre-draft acquisition Kelvin Benjamin is okay, but what’s to get excited about here?

How about an all-in young guy makeover!? Yes! With high picks all over, GM Paolo took Royce Freeman (1.2), Sam Darnold (2.1), and Cooper Kupp (2.11) off the board. Not bad! But then the auto-draft started in RD5, as P Funk nabbed two kickers and a defense in RD5-7. Well, we are at least semi-excited about Martavis Bryant’s (10.1) comeback potential in Oakland?

Team Grrrrific (4-9, 4-9)
Inheriting a team that hasn’t had a winning record since 2011 ain’t easy but new owner Donny was up to the challenge. While the wins remained the same, Team Grrrrific’s core looks, dare I say it, terrific! I mean, when you draft at the top of the draft — after Grrrrific’s 2017 Toilet Bowl win — and get the consensus number-one player, Saquon Barkley, your rebuild path is going to get a lot brighter.

Combine Barkley with last year’s spot-on trade acquisition of Kareem Hunt, plus this year’s pre-draft trade for Mark Ingram, and this running game is looking incredibly solid. Is there better one-two punches in the league? Not many! We’ll see how quarterback keeper Marcus Mariota fares as the starter, and if he stumbles, Donny was careful to invest only a lowly pick on his backup, Tyrod Taylor (10.4).

Mariota will have some intriguing receiving pieces to work with in injury returnee Mike Williams,  new New England white guy Chris Hogan, and deep threat Will Fuller. The draft added Robert Woods (2.4), Jamison Crowder (3.4), and OJ Howard (4.4) and perpetual tease Austin Seferian-Jenkins (8.4). THere’s injury risks everywhere but this team is suddenly chock-full of talent and it’s been an incredibly fast rebuild. To think, just one year ago this team’s best keeper was Isaiah Crowell! The days of four-win seasons are likely way over in Grrrrific-land!

Jedi Knights (5-8, 4-9)
Once upon a time, the Jedis were good. We were hoping 2016’s four-win season was just an aberration but a five-win follow up proves it: the Sith are winning. But GM Chris isn’t going down without a fight. In a soft division, just acquiring Tom Brady, via pre-draft trade, could be enough to challenge Another Bad Creation. There’s still a lot of fall-out from the disastrous 2015 trade for Marshawn Lynch and Chris didn’t get a pick until RD3.

Still, we love the selection of Lamar Jackson (5.6) as the Brady replacement — even if Mitchell Trubisky was also tagged as a keeper — and Nelson Agholor (3.6) can run fast, but really a keeper core of TY Hilton, Emmanuel Sanders, Greg Olsen, and Carlos Hyde won’t scare anyone, that’s for sure. Can later picks Paul Richardson (6.6), Giovani Bernard (9.6), and Doug Martin (10.6) prove that they just aren’t low ceiling guys? Yup, it looks like it’ll be up to Brady to lead this ragtag bunch back to 0.500.

Another Bad Creation (10-3, 8-5)
Winning must be easy when the rest of your division only combines for eleven wins. ABC had an incredible 2015 title run, while ostensibly “rebuilding,” and now they are just milking all their extra draft picks. Three first rounders produced rookie Kerryon Johnson (1.6), Brandin Cooks (1.13), and Dion Lewis (1.15). Another spare RD2 netted rookie receiver Michael Gallup, who could soon take over in Cowboy land. Add in tight end George Kittle (3.15) and ABC’s first few draft picks might be better than some of our keeper cores!

Oliver’s real team boasts last year’s number one overall, Leonard Fournette, an explosive duo of Michael Thomas and Stefon Diggs, and perhaps the injury return to form of Jordan Reed. Rex Burkhead is a decent pass-catching option, and Kirk Cousins finally got out from under a franchise tag and will now stop complaining. Add in a guy named Geronimo (6.15) and this presumptive division champs are ready for title contention again!

Draft Review 2018

Much like the NBA draft -- and just like last year -- we’re only going two rounds here. For all our sanities. [Draft Order 2018]

ROUND ONE
There was a clear number one this season as Toilet Bowl winner Donny used Team Grrrrific’s well-deserved 2018 1.1 on Saquon Barkley. Easy pick! And since there were a whole bunch of speculative rookie running backs this year but no consensus number two, we wondered who would go next. Paolo rolled the dice on Denver’s new RB, Royce Freeman.

Then to the shock of us all, Mike of Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada grabbed Josh Gordon at 1.3! Talk about rolling the dice!?! Italian Stallions fiddled with trading down but took Ravens runner Alex Collins instead of a rookie back, opening the door for a trade from Hungry Ouroboros that netted them 1.5 and 1.7, with rookies Calvin Ridley and Ronald Jones being selected.

Speaking of multiple picks, 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears and Another Bad Creation both had three apiece -- Oliver's ABC had four in last year's first round. Pooh Bears took rookie receiver DJ Moore (1.8), Marquise Goodwin (1.9), and rising tight end David Njoku (1.16) to clean up the first round. ABC grabbed this year’s Lions’ running hope, Kerryon Johnson at 1.6, and then followed that up with two former Patriots, Brandin Cooks (1.13) and Dion Lewis (1.15).

Our four remaining first rounders were all rookie running backs: Sony Michel (1.10 - Ann Arbor Bamfers), Nick Chubb (1.11 - Squirtle Squad), Rashaad Penny (1.12 - Stink Pink Gators), and our defending champs, Sweep the Leg Zabka, with a selection of out-for-the-season Derrius Guice at 1.14. I guess when you are the best team in the league you can afford to wait on an injured player!

• Teams Without RD1 Picks: Fockers, Jedi Knights, Mandalorian Warriors, MoRRie’s Pogiboys, Team Cameltoe

ROUND TWO
Pooh Bears had a double pick at the end of RD1 and beginning of RD2, and took Browns rookie receiver Antonio Callaway with 2.1. [I had to Google who that was.] Paolo had two RD2 picks and he took the giant head of Jets rookie quarterback Sam Darnold (2.2) and a new target for him to throw to: Cooper Kupp (2.12). Note that Darnold was the first non-keeper quarterback taken!

Xur then took everyone’s favorite sleeper TE Trey Burton at 2.3 and Pogiboys got on the draft board with Burton’s Bears teammate Tarik Cohen (2.4). Alvin also picked up another runner later, Chris Thompson (2.14), meaning Pogiboys essentially went back-to-back-to-back with their three 2018 picks after trading their RD1 away. Interesting!

Our other two non-keeper quarterbacks went to Fockers (2.9 - Ben Roethlisberger) and Mandalorian Warriors (2.15 - Matt Ryan), and two non-keeper defenses went as well, Ravens (2.11 - Ann Arbor Bamfers) and Another Bad Creation took the Rams (2.16) to clean up the round. In-between all that, Italian Stallionz grabbed the possible Seahawk starter Chris Carson (2.6) after Donny took Robert Woods (2.5) as his second selection, banking on his health and talent. A trio of receivers went 2.7, 2.8, and 2.10 — ABC with rookie Michael Gallup, Cameltoe with Devin Funchess, and Ouroboros with Robby Anderson.

Overall in RD2 we had three QB, four RB, six WR, one TE, and two DST taken. That’s compared to RD1 where ten RB, five WR, and one lone TE were taken.

• Teams Without RD2 Picks: Jedi Knights, Squirtle Squad, Sweep the Leg Zabka
• Shout out to Jedi Knights who haven’t gotten a pick yet!

ROUND THREE
I couldn't resist a quick look at RD3 where we saw a run of ten straight receivers, broken up only by Mandalorian Warriors taking kicker Stephen Gostkowski at 3.5. Other than that, this was the round of the speculative receiver, aside from a RB-WR-RB-TE-RB run to end the round. On to the rest of the draft...

Pre-Draft Trades 2018

• #228: Stink Pink Gators receive Jay Ajayi from Team Grrrrific for Mark Ingram and Gators 2020 RD4
• #229: Team Cameltoe receive Marlon Mack from Sweep the Leg Zabka for conditional 2020 pick (see trade sheet for conditions)
• #230: P-Funk All Stars receive Kelvin Benjamin from Sweep the Leg Zabka for All Stars 2018 RD3
• #231: Jedi Knights receive Tom Brady from Squirtle Squad for Jedi 2018 RD8, 2019 RD6, 2021 RD2
• #232: MoRRie’s Pogiboys receive Jerick McKinnon and 2018 RD7 from Hungry Ouroboros for Pogiboys / Warriors 2018 RD1 and Larry Fitzgerald

Not as many pre-draft trades went down this year as last, but all of them were pretty interesting in their own way, as a former MVP and definitely starteable pieces were on the go. Coming off back-to-back 5-8 and 4-9 seasons, Jedi Knights pushed a few picks into the pot for Tom Brady, who has anywhere from two to five years left at premium level. The move gives sophomore Mitchell Trubisky plenty of time to sit on the bench while Jedis look for a return to respectability.

Our two newest owners, Donny (Team Grrrrific) and Dave (Stink Pink) exchanged running backs, Jay Ajayi and Mark Ingram almost straight up, which seems like a collusion-y move doesn’t it? Who watches the Spartans?! Team Cameltoe is coming off two consecutive losing seasons themselves and swung a very conditional pick from our defending champs Sweep the Leg Zabka and acquired Marlon Mack. Zabka’s owner Alan — "Cobra Kai never die!" — also shipped off Kelvin Benjamin to P-Funk All Stars, who is coming off a dirty 2-11 season.

And then finally, the morning of the draft saw MoRRie’s Pogiboys trade Larry Fitzgerald and his (actually Mandalorian Warrior's 2018 RD1.5 to Hungry Hungry Ouroboros for Jerick McKinnon. Will one of these five moves get their teams closer to their goal? We'll see!

2018 Keepers

Draft Order 2018

1. P Funk All Stars (2-11)
2. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (2-11)
3. Italian Stallionz (4-9)
4. Team Grrrrrific (4-9) *TB Winner
5. Mandalorian Warriors (4-8-1)
6. Jedi Knights (5-8)
7. Team Cameltoe (6-7)
8. * Fockers (7-6)
9. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6)
10. Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6)
11. Squirtle Squad (8-5)
12. Stink Pink Gators (9-4)
13. MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4)
14. Sweep the Leg Zabka (9-3-1) *Champion
15. Another Bad Creation (10-3)
16. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3)

League Payouts

Did you know that our M&B league is worth an astounding $700+ dollars! Who knew we were playing for big money! Minus some expenses, look at the payouts outlined below. This year we increased the fee from $35 to $45 to compensate Alvin for paying for the CBS draft room for five years! Please take a look at our M&B Finances sheet, and thank Jedi Knights owner Chris for being our treasurer!

• Number of Teams: 16
• Yearly Cost Per Team: $45
• Yearly Grand Total: $720

LEAGUE PRIZES
• Super Bowl Champion: $150
• Runner-Up: $50
• Third Place: $15

• Division Champ: $10 (4 teams)
• Qualify for Playoffs: $5 (8 teams)

• M&B Regular Season Champ: $5
• M&B Scoring Champion: $5

• Weekly Scoring Leader: $5 (13 teams)


NFL PRIZES
• NFL MVP: $5
• NFL Rushing Leader: $5
• NFL Receptions Leader: $5

TROPHIES
• Championship Ring: $150
• Championship Trophy: $25

SITES
• CBS Draft Room: $1??
• URL, Misc: $??