Super Bowl VIIII

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears vs MoRRie’s Pogiboys, 72-53
It was a season of inevitability. All four division winners got past their first opponents and made it into the conference finals. In a season featuring familiar names at the top of the scoring charts, our four remaining teams seemed fated to duke it out all season long. It would take a team of true destiny to upend our expectations and show us that surprises can still happen. That team? The 2013 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears!

After dethroning the former champs, J’s team shuffled into the Super Bowl on a steady if unglamorous streak. They were quietly confident, having won four of their last five games. Sure, their opponents were the mighty Pogiboys — who were favored in the matchup — but we all know that Pooh Bears show no fear. Alvin’s team had scored 93 and 131 points in their playoff matchups, and had a team that was firing on all cylinders. Tom Brady, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, hometown hero Calvin Johnson, resurrected DeSean Jackson, all of these players were faced with excellent match ups.

When Pooh Bears came out flat, with Cam Newton scoring 9 points and 2013 first round pick Shane Vereen totaling only 6, things didn’t look great for Pooh. Also, their Bills DEF sat on the bench with 21 points, while the starting Browns DEF had garnered a whopping -1 points. It didn’t look like another upset was in the cards for Pooh Bears. They had gotten double digit scoring efforts from all four of their receivers — Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Bryant, and Cordarrelle Patterson — but they barely topped sixty points heading into Sunday night.

Alas, for the Pogiboys, it was a gut wrenching day as their players continued to misfire. Tom Brady somehow only threw up 10 points despite a Patriots’ 41-7 blowout. DeSean Jackson caught four passes for 39 yards in an Eagles 54-11 blowout game. And then Calvin Johnson, who had mysteriously flamed out for most of the playoffs, only accrued four points also. With Tyler Eifert and Chiefs DEF both racking up zero points, this was looking like the wimpiest Super Bowl in history. Only Eddie Lacy went over twenty points for either side, as the rookie was the only one now scared by the bright lights. For Alvin, it would take a monster effort from Michael Crabtree on MNF to take the title. Unfortunately, 49ers kicker Phil Dawson outscored Crabtree, giving Pooh Bears the title in a 72-53 “blowout” that wasn’t as close as even that final score indicated. Note: The 72 point winning score was the lowest since Pooh Bear’s last Super Bowl victory, a 2006 contest over Thundercats (77-55).

In the end, Pooh Bears were happy to take the championship trophy home, since a win is a win is a win! Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!! Congrats to J&J, Jose and Jayvee!

• The Pooh Bears started off the season 4-1, had a bit of a stumble, and then righted the ship to finish winning five of their last six games.
• They were the second highest scoring team in the league, and faced the fourth toughest schedule. 
• Their best free agent pickup? Rookie receiver Cordarrelle Patterson in late November.
• Their top four scorers for the year: Cam Newton, Antonio Brown, Jimmy Graham, Dez Bryant.
• Biggest disappointments: Ray Rice and Doug Martin.
• Highest score: 126-58 W over Italian Stallionz in WK11. Nine total DeLorean weeks (over 88 points).
• Pooh Bears are set up for a sweet future, with a great keeper core, and tons of future picks. For example, they receive Cameltoe’s 2014 RD1 and RD2 pick, and Another Bad Creation's 2014 RD1, as well as as slew of later round picks from other teams. Also, somehow Pooh Bears owns Cameltoe’s first few round picks almost all the way through 2016! Dare we say "dynasty alert?!"

Playoffs: Super Bowl Preview

Well well, it looks like we're going to have quite the thrilling matchup for this year's Super Bowl. MoRRie's Pogiboys have never been to the championship game while 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears haven't been since 2006 -- when they won the title. Let's look at their paths to the Super Bowl and then a quick matchup!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears defeat Mandalorian Warriors, 89-74
Meeting for the third time in as many years in the Eastern Conference championship round, J was desperate for a win versus Mandalorian Warriors, who had their number the previous two times. This time out, Pooh Bears slowed the game down, played tough defense, and stuck to ball control and a strong kicking game. Pooh Bears’ kicker Phil Dawson helped lead the upset with seventeen points, and then Dez Bryant and his many tantrums took home the win with twenty one points of his own. Defending champ Warriors came out and a pretty much laid an egg, with Drew Brees and Brandon Marshall trying to rally their teammates to a more gallant championship defense but despite their fine efforts, Warriors were dethroned.

MoRRie’s Pogiboys vs Jedi Knights, 131-78
On the other side of the matchup, it was a pair of championship newbies ready to challenge for a Super Bowl slot. Jedi Knights had never even reached the conference finals round before, while Pogiboys’ only appearnace was way back in 2004. We said on Thursday that Knights would need a big week from their non-Peyton players and he got some nice performances from Marques Colston, Jason Witten, and Blair Wlash, but that was all for naught as congratulations for Alvin were flowing in by Sunday night. With twenty-plus points from Tom Brady, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, and DeSean Jackson, Pogiboys were already on their way to their highest scoring game of the year. Calvin Johnson’s Monday Night Football appearance was basically a (drop plagued) victory lap.

Super Bowl Preview: MoRRie's Pogiboys (10-3) vs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4)

Alvin's Pogiboys haven’t lost since WK6. Yes that means they are on a ten game win streak. TEN! Of course, one of their three losses this season was to Pooh Bears in WK2… Oh the drama. J’s team is coming off four wins in five weeks and they’ve had games of 126 and 108 scores, so he’s capable of big weeks. Pooh Bears have also been very consistent, as they haven’t gone under 85 points all month. That could represent a cautionary note for Pogi fans as much of their winning streak was accomplished with sub-80 point scores. However, their recent weeks have produced 93 and 131 points each, so they are trending up at just the right time.

Current projections have Pooh Bears winning but we can’t trust computerized projections can we? There is a strong case to be made that J’s explosive receiving game of Dez Bryant, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Brown, and rookie Cordarrelle Patterson are guaranteed to have at least two or three big games. Alvin counters with Calvin Johnson and DeSean Jackson, who are mega-explosive in their own right. His TE, Tyler Eifert, is severely underpowered compared to Graham though. Cam Newton versus Tom Brady is mostly a wash too, with Brady being a bit steadier but less explosive.

Where Pogiboys will make up ground is through Eddie Lacy and Rashard Mendenhall, who have the clear edge over Shane Vereen. J could give Ray Rice a chance perhaps, but Rice has been dicey all year, to say the least. We’ll give the DEF/K combos a wash, even though both were instrumental last week — Bills and Phil Dawson put up a combined 28 points, while Chiefs and Matt Bryant dropped 27 points. Who can predict how they’ll do. Overall, our hearts are with Alvin’s team, as they have toiled long and hard without a championship. However, it would be sweet justice for J to win as well, as they’ve been so close recently. Either way, we got a big week ahead!

Playoffs: RD2 Preview

In a high scoring NFL showcase, it was a play it by the book weekend for our playoffs. All the top seeds won, and none of the games were close. In fact, three of the games featured one team over 100 points while their opponents were 80 or under. The closest margin of victory? 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears 108-70 victory over Detroit Players (and that featured only a MNF “chance” for Demarco Murray to gain over 50+ points for the comeback win). Fun trivia: If Squirtle Squad could have taken down Mandalorian Warriors, there could have been a Lake Village Final Four featuring Brian, Alvin, Chris, and J. A roommate battle from over fifteen years ago! Alas, Matt put the kibosh on that with his 133-81 drubbing of Squirtle Squad. So, it looks like our conference championships will feature four high powered teams who are each coming off high scoring weeks. We’re looking at possibly the best conference final round in Maize and Blue history!

Western Conference
Morrie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs Jedi Knights (8-5)
One of these teams will make history after this weekend. Neither Alvin nor Chris have ever made the Super Bowl so the winner of this matchup is going to have a chance to win a title for the first time ever. Last week, Alvin survived the snow game that blanketed Calvin Johnson and DeSean Jackson by having the Chiefs DST score 26 points. The thing is, Chris’ DST, Cardinals, put up a not too shabby 20 points themselves last week.

Jedi will need another big week from his receivers to fend off Pogiboys’ Johnson and Jackon, but that could be difficult with Wes Welker out via concussion. Can Marques Colston duplicate his big numbers from last week, or will Steve Smith come through in the clutch? It looks like Emmanuel Sanders will replace Welker, and he’s been steady, averaging one touchdown in each of his past three games. Pogiboys have the run game edge too, with Eddie Lacy and Rashard Mendenhall versus Alfred Morris. The biggest hurdle facing Jedi is that Peyton Manning only notched 17 points on Thursday Night Football, eliminating their biggest advantage. Now Tom Brady will have to just play to his average to cancel out Manning. Before the weekend has even started, Jedi Knights already have their backs against the wall but there's a lot of football left to be played...

Eastern Conference
Mandalorian Warriors (11-2) vs 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4)
Well, last year’s Clash of the Titans matchup is back once again for another round. Both teams have been playing well of late, with the Warriors dropping 133 points (their season high) behind Drew Brees and LeSean McCoy’s combined 61 points last week. Pooh Bears rode Shane Vereen, Jimmy Graham, and Antonio Brown to their own century plus game, and could easily do it again with more scoring balance. J can breathe a little easier too knowing that Knowshon Moreno dropped a dud on Thursday night. The marquee Brees versus Cam Newton matchup is mostly a wash, with Brees facing an easier matchup but coming off more inconsistent performances. McCoy versus Vereen is surprisingly not that much of an advantage, and what we’re looking at is basically a showdown between the passing game.

Dez Bryant, Antonio Brown, and rookie x-factor Cordarrelle Patterson suit up for Pooh Bears versus Brandon Marshall and Larry Fitzgerald. The edge is toward the former group for quantity but the big names are all over on Warriors’ side. The huge advantage for Pooh will be at TE, with Graham versus Greg Olsen. Warriors is rolling the dice a bit with Bears DST, who are facing putrid Cleveland, but the Bears have put up two negative scores in thier last three weeks. Scary stuff. Pooh isn’t fielding a strong defense either, but Bills DST versus Jacksonville is as good as matchup as could be hoped for in this primetime game. Can J avenge his loss from last season? Can he stop the Warriors' repeat bid in its tracks? Let’s suit up and find out!

Playoffs: RD1 Preview

They playoffs are here! There's a handful of new, and surprising teams, on-board and there was even a tight race between a pair of 7-6 teams over in The Wood. In the end, it feels like the right eight teams are in the postseason and we're excited for the drama to unfold. [2012 Playoff Preview]

Western Conference
Morrie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
These in-division rivals faced off twice this season, with Pogiboys trouncing Bamfers by a combined total of 157-79. Alvin’s team is the hottest team in the league and haven’t lost since WK6. Powered by Calvin Johnson, DeSean Jackson, rookie sensation Eddie Lacy, and the up and down leadership at the helm from Tom Brady, Pogiboys should dispose of Bamfers quickly. I mean, Megatron eats teams that sneak into the playoffs with a losing record — not to mention the lowest PF — for breakfast, which is what Bamfers did. Randy’s team is somehow in the playoffs after a year in which they threw up games of 25 and 29 points. They are coming off of three weeks with sub-60 scores and it would take a minor miracle to pull off an upset here. Then again, NICK FOLES! He of the 13-0 TD to INT ratio and the capability of throwing seven touchdowns at any moment. There’s a chance that Foles could try to single handedly engineer an upset here, but with only a fading Frank Gore and the inconsistent mirage of CJ Spiller / Fred Jackson, we see Bamfers’ win here as a nigh impossibility. The real lesson here: Hoke-A-Mania is a real bad division.

Jedi Knights (8-5) vs P Funk All Stars (8-5)
This is Chris’ second consecutive trip to the postseason -- with two division wins in a row -- and represents a nice upward trajectory from the depths of 2-11 in 2010. While they’ve stumbled down the stretch this year, losing three of their last five, they have the Peyton Manning Experience, along with Wes Welker as his dynamic duo buddy. RB Alfred Morris solidified his top ten status, giving the passing game some balance. For Jedi to go far though, veterans like Jason Witten, Marques Colston, and Steve Smith will have to step it up a bit. P Funk All Stars fans are delirious after two seasons that produced only three wins total combined. Sure we made fun of them alot, but with eight wins in 2013, Paolo’s team actually equaled their entire win total from 2010-2012 (and narrowed missed out on winning their first division title since 2005). The All Stars are heating up at just the right time too, riding a three game winning streak. Of course, facing the league’s softest schedule has helped but the patchwork team put together this season has been quite the success. Incredibly, the top scorer for P Funk is WR Michael Floyd, who didn’t put together many big numbers until WK11. Behind him sits Ryan Mathews, a nice reclamation project. And then it’s BenJarvus Green-Ellis… We don’t know how this team was winning, but here they are, in the playoffs and P Funk Nation is excited for the chance at an upset victory!

Eastern Conference
Mandalorian Warriors (11-2) vs Squirtle Squad (7-6)
Winning nine games in a row isn’t a shabby way to head into your title defense. The last time Matt’s team lost, it was a WK4 barnburner in which he still scored 98 points. In fact, both of Mandalorian’s losses have come while still scoring 90+ points. Squirtle Squad is on quite a streak themselves, with five straight wins catapulting them into a late wild card slot, and they seem very capable of an upset as they’ve scored 90, 101, 71, 104, and 134 during their streak. The Warriors have Drew Brees, LeSean McCoy, Knowshon Moreno, Brandon Marshall, and a healthy Rob Gronkowski. Plus the semi-recent trade addition of Larry Fitzgerald. It’s an all star caliber squad. Brian counters with Adrian Peterson, Josh Gordon, Zac Stacy, and promising rookie Keenan Allen. It’s been a nice comeback season for Squirtle Squad, after going 5-8 and 3-10 in recent years. At first glance, the quarterback battle between Brees and Ryan Tannehill is a laugher, but Tannehill has actually been outproducing Brees over the last month. Impressive, no? It’s going to be a high powered affair and Warriors might be facing their toughest challenge right out of the gate. Obviously, this is the game of the week. We expect fireworks!

100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-4) vs Detroit Players (8-5)
J was bounced from "the real Super Bowl" by eventual champs Warriors last year but they’re back to challenge for the title again. Despite a trajectory that suggested they would get eleven wins this season — they’ve gone 8-5, 9-4, 10-3 in recent years — they weren’t quite as good as hoped, even after a 4-1 start. Still, this is no team to mess around with, as they have the biggest positional advantage player in the game: Jimmy Graham. With Dez Bryant elevating his game this season, along with a late season surge by Antonio Brown, Pooh quarterback Cam Newton has plenty of targets to throw to. The Bears have some problems in the backfield however, as Doug Martin was lost to injury and Ray Rice was lost to ineptitude. As for Detroit Players, after two straight 5-8 campaigns, they finally broke through for their first winning season since 2009. While slightly overmatched, Ariel’s team has the confidence in knowing that they toppled Pooh Bears in WK6 and aren’t afraid to tangle with a franchise they are very familiar with. Detroit Players is a three headed monster starring Robert Griffin III, A.J. Green, DeMarco Murray, and ah, little else. I mean, their next highest contributors are Hakeem Nicks, Bobby Rainey, and Mike Williams, the latter who has been on IR since WK9. Ariel will lean on an excellent Panthers DST to try to sneak out a win here but Pooh Bears could have their sights set on bigger prey in the next round...

2013 Final Standings

Detailed Breakdown