Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Super Bowl XI


Another year, another 6-7 team takes the title! Last year’s winners, Original Salt, went from losing his last five games of the regular season to a clean sweep of the 2014 championship. This year’s run from Another Bad Creation might be even more impressive. I mean, how many teams start their championship year by offloading Marshawn Lynch and LeSean McCoy during the draft? And then halfway through the season, while struggling and likely out of the playoffs, trade away Aaron Rodgers? That's their top three keepers from 2015!

  • #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5), 95.0 - 77.5

The decision to move Rodgers turned out to be a great one, as he only topped twenty points one time in his last six outings, and put up 18-10-7 pts in the fantasy playoffs. After a fling with Alex Smith, ABC stood by Kirk Cousins and was rewarded with 21-35-32 pts games during the postseason run. And well, McCoy and Lynch would have both been unavailable of the Super Bowl, as well as basically having terrible down seasons. Lynch has been out since WK10 and McCoy struggled with injuries all season long as well. So yeah, good riddance!

So how did ABC upset three opponents on the way to their third title of the modern era -(as defined by how far back I’ve tracked on this blog)? Shockingly, the team MVP this year has been Jordan Reed, tight end extraordinaire, who piled up 22.5 - 23.5 - 28.5 pts weeks, and had ABC’s third most points scored on the season. Number one on that list? Rookie running back TJ Yeldon, who didn’t even suit up for the title game due to injury. If you look at ABC’s top scorers on the season, only Reed and Cousins even appear, with Vincent Jackson also taking a seat during championship week.

If we’re looking for additional championship heroes, we have to turn to Patriots DST and Chandler Catanzaro, Arizona’s kicker. The Patriots were huge with 15 and 18 points the first two weeks of the playoffs, especially in the conference finals which featured a margin of only 7.5 points. Catanzaro has been good all season and his steady kicking helped push ABC over the top. We’d love to say that there was more but it was basically the Redskins' passing duo, a tough defense, and some nice kicking that took ABC to an improbable championship.

Oliver will celebrate hard and then go home this summer and count all the draft picks he acquired. By unofficial estimate his haul will include three first rounders for McCoy, three first rounders and a second for Lynch, and a whopping five first rounders (plus he received Cousins) for Rodgers. That’s eleven first rounders and a second, starting from 2016 through 2020. Whew! If this wasn’t a dream season for Oliver, what else could have been better? Congrats on another shiny ring Oliver!

As for Sweep the Leg Zabka, who entered the title game on an eight game win streak after starting off the season 2-7, they were headed for a dream season of their own until the Odell Beckham Jr. suspension for the Super Bowl. That cost Zabka not just their top performer but also hampered his starting quarterback, Eli Manning, pretty dramatically. Without his star receiver, Manning managed only seven points during the title match and that helped seal the deal, despite a heroic effort from Latavius Murray. After talking a lot of smack post 131.5 - 44 beatdown during the conference finals, perhaps sophomore owner Alan got what was coming, a karmic upset by Another Bad Creation.

All that aside, GM Alan has put together an incredible first two seasons in Maize and Blue and still has quite the roster assembled and ready for next season, where they'll likely be strong contenders agin. So thanks to Sweep the Leg Zabka for a thrilling Super Bowl and a great post-season run and a great season for everybody!

Monday, December 28, 2015

Toilet Bowl I

We instituted a whole slew of new rules over the 2015 season, and one of those was the holding of a Toilet Bowl for figuring out the top pick in each year's draft. What seemed like an easy walk in the park, with every top seed advancing past the lower seed, finally flipped in the Toilet Bowl Finals, as Pooh Bears defeated Shoguns of Harlem by a narrow margin. A spirited comeback by Shoguns on MNF fell a little short and it looks like our champs from two years ago will get to pick #1 in the 2016 draft.

  • #2 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) def #1 Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) , 86.0 - 82.5

For Jose and Jayvee, whose team stumbled out of the gates 1-5, but managed to go 5-2 down the stretch, along with this Toilet Bowl win, will hopefully get them back into contention next year. They'll have Cam Newton, Antonio Brown, Brandin Cooks (2014's #1 overall), and David Johnson to lead the way and build upon their top keeper core from last year. In fact, it was Johnson and Cooks who almost single/duo-handedly won the Toilet Bowl themselves, combining for 40.0 points. So, congrats to 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears and we're excited to see who they select next season!

As for Shoguns of Harlem, Mike's team it a good go but their list of walking wounded was just too much to overcome. For the Toilet Bowl championship game, Tony Romo, Alshon Jeffery, Tyler Eifert, Thomas Rawls, and Arian Foster (among others) were all sitting on the bench in various states of disrepair. So taking that into account, making the TB Finals after a 0-4 start was a good accomplishment for their season.

TOILET BOWL RD2
  • #1 Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) def #4 Fockers (5-8), 93.0 - 90.0
  • #2 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) def #3 Italian Stallionz (5-8), 180.0 - 57.0

TOILET BOWL RD1
  • #1 Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) def #8 P Funk All Stars (2-11) , 66.5 - 56.5
  • #2 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) def #7 Original Salt (3-10), 68.5 - 31.5
  • #3 Italian Stallionz (5-8) def #6 Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8), 89.0 - 74.5
  • #4 Fockers (5-8) def #5 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (5-8), 82.5 - 81.5

Monday, December 21, 2015

Road to Super Bowl XI

Sorry to have missed the first two rounds of the playoffs, but I blame the Sith! Okay, I haven’t even watched Star Wars yet, but I will soon, right after I do these articles. Let’s take a look at the journey to Super Bowl XI! Over in Eastern Conference, two upsets took Pogiboys and Jedi Knights spinning into the abyss. Both games weren’t very close and Jedi’s higher seed was a technical one, as they had a worse record than Team Cameltoe, who was only a lower seed due to not winning a division.

In fact, lower seeds won all their games in the first round, except Sweep the Leg Zabka edging out Detroit Players. With two #4 seeds in play, plus the rebuilding yet somehow still dangerous Mandalorian Warriors lurking in the West, we headed to round two.

When we got there, ABC upset their way yet again! They took out Cameltoe behind a stiff Patriots defense and TE Jordan Reed having a second 20+ pt game. Cameltoe’s kicker and defense combo netted zero total points and that’s all she wrote for Felipe’s team, despite stellar performances from Russell Wilson, Ted Ginn Jr., and Julio Jones. As for Sweep the Leg Zabka, our confident sophomore year owner took their seven game win streak and added one more by blowing out Mandalorian Warriors by a measly +87.5 points. Ouch. Midseason trade acquisition Aaron Rodgers faltered for Warriors but it wouldn’t have mattered against the explosive days by Sammy Watkins and Chiefs defense.

So here we are, Super Bowl XI with a #2 and #4 seed about to face off. Last year we saw a low seed streak their way to a championship and it would be sort of exciting to see Another Bad Creation duplicate those efforts behind a 7-2 record since WK7, including five straight wins heading into the big game. Then again, wouldn’t it be cool to see a new owner rebuild their team in just two years and take the ring home? Keep in mind, Odell Beckham Jr. probably won't be able to suit up for Zabka, and that could be the difference in this title matchup!

Note: And let’s talk about that midseason trade some more, well actually, let’s talk about all of ABC’s trades, which was supposed to have them in pure rebuilding mode this season. Yeah, we said this when they were 4-7: "Unless ABC can win out, they could miss the playoffs altogether." Overall, Oliver shipped off LeSean McCoy, Marshawn Lynch, and Aaron Rodgers while securing basically eight hundred more draft picks. Now they're in contention for their third title (2004, 2009). If this works, it’ll be quite an incredible story won’t it?

ROUND ONE
  • #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #1 MoRRie's Pogiboys (11-2), 80.5 - 67.5
  • #3 Team Cameltoe (10-3) def #2 Jedi Knights (8-5), 132.0 - 67.5
  • #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) def #3 Detroit Players (7-6), 93 - 83.5
  • #4 Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1) def #1 Squirtle Squad (10-2-1), 84.5 - 78

CONFERENCE FINALS
  • #4 Another Bad Creation (6-7) def #3 Team Cameltoe (10-3), 100 - 92.5
  • #2 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) def #4 Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1), 131.5 - 44

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

2015 Final Power Rankings

Playoff Teams 
1. MoRRie's Pogiboys (11-2) - The Moose Knuckle Division Champions. Best Overall Record
2. Squirtle Squad (10-2-1) - Ohana Division Champions. Next best overall record.
3. Team Cameltoe (10-3) - Next best overall record .
4. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) - Sum Dum Goy Division Champions. Wins tiebreak vs Jedi Knights via Total Points Scored
5. Jedi Knights (8-5) - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champion. Next best overall record.
6. Detroit Players (7-6) - Next best overall record
7. Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1) - Next best overall record
8. Another Bad Creaation (6-7) - Next best overall record

Non-playoff Teams 
9. Shoguns of Harlem (6-7) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Pooh Bears via H2H
10. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (6-7) - Next best overall record
11. Italian Stallionz (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Ouroboros/Bamfers/Fockers via H2H% among tied opponents (1.00 x .33 x .5 x 0.0)
12. * Fockers (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Ourboros/Bamfers via Total Points Scored
13. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (5-8) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Bamfers via Total Points Scored
14. Ann Arbor Bamfers (5-8) - Next best overall record.
15. Original Salt (3-10) - Next best overall record.
16. P Funk All Stars (2-11) - Next best overall record.

Playoff Seeding
Eastern Conference 
  1. MoRRie's Pogiboys (11-2) - The Moose Knuckle Division Champions.
  2. Jedi Knights (8-5) - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champions.
  3. Team Cameltoe (10-3)
  4. Another Bad Creation (6-7)
Western Conference 
  1. Squirtle Squad (10-2-1) - Ohana Division Champions.
  2. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) - Sum Dum Goy Division Champions.
  3. Detroit Players (7-6)
  4. Mandalorian Warriors (6-6-1)

Tuesday, December 8, 2015