There was some intrigue at the top of the draft as first time GM Hong would be doing the selecting for Human Amoebas. Without a sure thing running back coming out of the collegiate ranks, this pick could already become make or break for Hong. After days of agonizing, GM Hong chose to tap Le'veon Bell to become his back of the future. (In a league called Maize and Blue, Hong decides to go with a Michigan State player first? Traitor!) Shockingly, he had a shot at another young RB with Amoeba's second first round selection, 1.06, and took Montee Ball -- whom he was considering for number one overall. In one fell swoop, Hong got two highly touted rookies to take over the running duties from Ahmad Bradshaw and DeAngelo Williams. Brilliant, now it's Ball and Bell into the future!
At 1.02, P Funk All-Stars needed some star power and went for "sure thing" wideout Tavon Austin. We like this pick, as Paolo desperately needed someone on the roster capable of making a fantasy Pro Bowl. Paolo can only hope that Austin becomes the game changer he's advertised to be as we're positive his two other late first rounders won't become breakouts -- TE Jared Cook (1.14) and RB Ryan Mathews (1.15).
The most interesting story of the draft was how Pogiboys moved up to grab two of the top four selections, and now had four first rounders total. His haul ended up being Lamar Miller (1.03), Eddie Lacy (1.04), and DeSean Jackson (1.09). Plus a trade away of a pick for Tom Brady. With those selections, Alvin could have rebuilt his team and made the moves to return to the post-season. Nicely done.
Let's talk about autopicks. The reason Montee Ball slipped to Amoebas at 1.06, and also Giovani Bernard to Hungry Hungry Ouroboros at 1.07, was because Wayne State Tartars let the computer do their picking for them. With multiple needs, and an especially glaring hole in the receiving department, Jay took Seahawks DST at 1.05 and then Andy Dalton at 1.08. That early defense pick was obviously, well, indefensible. And even though Dalton could make nice insurance for Ben Roethlisberger, quarterbacks were readily available a few rounds later. It's safe to say that we could see the Tartars picking low high again next year.
Porta's Italian Stallionz beefed up their receiving corps by adding something new, DeAndre Hopkins, and something old, Anquan Boldin. Dunder Mifflin Paper Company hopes Miles Austin can still be a #2 receiver behind Dwayne Bowe, we think he can be. We also like Shane Vereen, selected by 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears at 1.10. He'll have plenty of time to develop behind Ray Rice and Doug Martin. The Detroit Players finished up the round by taking the fifth rooking RB, the Seahawks' Christine Michael. It would be fantastic if Michael could be pressed into duty immediately as Ariel's team only has DeMarco Murray around. But we're pretty sure Michael won't get much work behind Marshawn Lynch.
Best pick: Montee Ball, Human Amoebas (1.06)
Most obscure: Christine Michael, Detroit Players (1.16)
Total RD1 Picks Traded Previously: Nine
Round TwoP Funk may have gotten a steal with Andre Brown at the top of RD2. That, along with his later addition in the same round of BenJarvus Green-Ellis will really help shore up his non-existent backfield previously consisting of Mark Ingram. Rhythm Drive got on board in the 2013 draft with auto-pick Bernard Pierce. The 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears were still reeling from losing Ray Rice's handcuff when they jumped on Rams' receiver Chris Givens, who could emerge in his second year.
Speaking of handcuffs, Ben Tate, free agent to be, might be an absolute steal here, as Arian Foster is dinged up. Foster now belongs to Dunder Mifflin Paper Company and it would be interesting to see if this is finally Foster's year to stick on a roster. Hungry Ouroboros snapped up Johnathan Franklin for another wild card rookie running back shot.
They were a lot of high upside, low track history receivers grabbed this round: Givens, Cordarrelle Patterson (Detroit Players), Robert Woods (Human Amoebas), Kenny Britt (Ann Arbor Bamfers), Golden Tate (Another Bad Creation), and Emmanuel Sanders (Jedi Knights). Any one of these guys could emerge as solid contributors. For our money, we like Golden Tate, who just sounds like he should be a star.
Interestingly, 100 Acre Pooh Bears took rookie QB E.J. Manuel at 2.14, ahead of many other established signal callers. He'll sit the pine behind Cam Newton. J must have seen something in Manuel he deeply coveted. The Pooh Bears had three second rounders and added Lance Moore to the mix along with Manuel and Givens.
Defending champ Mandalorian Warriors grabbed Bears DST and Greg Olsen to flesh out their spectacular keeper core. We think going defense this early -- on purpose -- is dicey, but perhaps getting a top tier defense in such a deep league is worth it. Someone do a study on this. Oh wait, that someone should be me!
Best pick: Ben Tate, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (2.12)
Hardest name to spell: Cordarrelle Patterson, Detroit Players (2.07)
Total RD2 Picks Traded Previously: Six
Round ThreeMan, this draft got shallow real quick. Ryan Broyles, Jordan Cameron, Rueben Randle, Marcus Lattimore, Zac Stacy, and Denarius Moore were six of the first seven picks. Not a one of them have any sort of track record. But that's what we like about a sixteen team league: Mining for gems! We see some potential on that list but it's almost guaranteed that only a few of these guys will work out. We're thinking maybe Rueben Randle has the best shot, as Hakeem Nicks is clearly on the decline.
A handful of backup quarterbacks were taken here: Josh Freeman (Wayne State Tartars), Jay Cutler (Human Amoebas), and Carson Palmer (Morrie's Pogiboys). Yes that means WS Tartars now has Roethlisberger, Dalton, and Freeman to man one quarterback position. And guess what, Freeman was another auto-draft pick… Paging Jay, paging Jay...
Three team defenses were selected this round, which again, intrigues me because technically we're in about RD9 of a full on draft, and maybe that's when defenses could go off the board but it seems awfully early. Then again, it's not like selecting DEF early is a new thing. Last year Paolo selected 49ers at 1.14 and they ended up being the seventh best defense. Is selecting any top defense really that worth it? It's a crapshoot no?
Three way tie for people most owners probably needed to Google goes to Tyler Eifert, Aaron Dobson, and Kenbrell Thompkins. The later two are New England's young receivers, and it's clear that Porta and J are mining for Wes Welker successors.
Best pick: Not Josh Freeman, Wayne State Tartars (3.04)
Correct way to pronouce "Eifer": Does it rhyme with "effort" or is it "eeeee-fert?" Maybe a silent e? I-fert?
Total draft picks Pogiboys had at the conclusion of RD3: Nine, with a few traded away during the draft
Round FourThis was the quarterback round, as Matt Schaub, Brandon Weeden, Alex Smith, Geno Smith, Michael Vick, and Jake Locker all went in the top half of the round. Last year there really wasn't a quarterback rush at all, as a few were selected during each 2012 round. Perhaps that speaks to how many middling and intriguing QBs there are now.
We think Team Cameltoe could possibly get a steal if Sidney Rice ever finds his way back on a field. To wrap up the round, some low upside RBs such as Bryce Brown, Bilal Powell, Danny Woodhead, and Shonn Greene were snapped up. Actually, Brown could be very useful if LeSean McCoy ever goes down, he's proven to capable of some big numbers when given carries. Did the computer just make an okay pick for Tartars? Whoopee!
Last year we evaluated the top five rounds but we're stopping one round earlier this season. Round five saw our first kicker, Stephen Gostkowski taken at 3.01, and from there on down it was a smattering of young guys, veterans that have busted, and the usual riffraff. Next year we may have to change up the format of the draft review, as I've really got no idea if say, Knile Davis, Stepfan Taylor, Rod Streater is a good pick or not. Seriously, who are they? You guys must be doing some super deep research.
Oh right, and Squirtle Squad won the Denard Robinson sweepstakes at 5.05. "During offseason workouts [Robinson] played as a running back, quarterback, wideout and also returned kickoffs and punts. But he would drop passes, fumble snaps and not bring in punts." Go Blue!
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