Playoffs 2017: RD1

 WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Another Bad Creation (10-3) vs #4 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (7-6)
Tied for the best record in the league, and with their first division title since 2011, our 2015 champs are really back! (They won the title in 2015 with a losing record.) Riding a four game win streak into the playoffs, ABC is counting on Kirk Cousins and Michael Thomas to hook up for big plays, and then finish off foes with the punishing power of 2017 #1 overall Leonard Fournette.

Speaking of Fournette, who ABC traded up for, it’s fair to say that Hungry Hungry Ouroboros got the short end of the stick between Fournette (1.1) and Joe Mixon (1.4). And let’s not forget, there was also the unfortunate trade of Kareem Hunt (1.6) for Dalvin Cook (1.3) right before WK1, which blew up in GM Jon’s face immediately. But no matter, Ouroboros rode Todd Gurley and a rotating roster of nobodies to their first playoff appearance, albeit as the lowest seed on the table. Prediction: Upsetsville!

#2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4) vs #3 Ann Arbor Bamfers (7-6)
After making the Super Bowl last season, and wining their third straight division title — making eleven total — regular season success is now old hat for Pogiboys. A pre-draft trade for Matt Ryan mostly worked out, and a late season move for Larry Fitzgerald was spectacular. With premium options like DeAndre Hopkins, LeSean McCoy, and Travis Kelce at WR/RB/TE, Pogiboys is poised for another deep playoff run.

The Bamfers stumbled through a bad WK9-11 but came back with two strong wins at the end of the year to play their way into the playoffs. They’ll face off against the team that bounced from last season’s post-season again, and hope they can pull off the upset this time around behind Philip Rivers and Melvin Gordon. Thank goodness it’s an away game though, as Bamfers probably get more support on the road if they’re anything like the real Chargers.


EASTERN CONFERENCE
#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (10-3) vs #4 Squirtle Squad (8-5)
Back-to-back 10-3 seasons, two years of the best record in the league (tied this season), and a ninth division title. Yawn… Pooh Bears were upset in the first round last year after two years in the Toilet Bowl — including a Toilet Bowl win in 2015 — so they’re hoping for a return to their post-season winning ways too. However, with a Ezekiel Elliot suspension finally enacted, it could be a weak point despite a roster that boasts Antonio Brown, Brandin  Cooks, Mike Evans, and Cam Newton. (Imagine if David Johnson and Deshaun Watson hadn’t been hurt…)

Squirtle isn’t afraid of top seeded Pooh Bears because they already stomped on them in WK13, which gave them a playoff berth — after missing out last year. Can Brian’s team double down and ride Tom Brady, a finally healthy Keenan Allen, and the rookie stylings of surprise best rookie RB Alvin Kamara to a huge first round upset? With five straight wins under their belt, Squirtles are the hottest team in the league and are poised as a dark horse.

#2 Sweep the Leg Zabkha (9-3-1) vs #3 Stink Pink Gators (9-4)
One team led the league in points scored with almost exactly 100 points per week, the other had the softest schedule in the conference — plus a crucial tie to give them the division title. The latter team is Sweep the Leg Zabkha, who is now on a streak of back-to-back-to-back division titles and is looking for another Super Bowl appearance after getting to the big game two years ago. With their only three losses coming against fellow top teams this season — including a WK11 loss to Stink Pink — there’s a possibility that Sweep the Leg is good but not quite great. And with Rob Gronkowski suspended for the week, it could be an uphill battle for this “favorite.”

As for Stink Pink, they racked up multiple weekly $5 wins and are riding a strong four game win streak into the playoffs. With an explosive offense headed by underrated Mark Ingram, MVP candidate Carson Wentz, and ROY challenger Adam Thielen, rookie owner Dave’s powerhouse team led the league in scoring and are the real threat coming out of Green and White division despite being an underdog -- and could take out the owner that brought them into Maize and Blue in the first place! Looks like the success of Detroit Players carries on in Stink Pink Gators!