Shark Tank

In a shocking announcement, special teams, kicking, and sometime dance coach of the Hungry Hungry Ouroboros, Kelvin, defected to a rival team, moving up to assistant general manager in the process.  Even while we are piecing together the off-field transaction, the league is atwitter over what kinds of promises Eric made to ensnare Kelvin and steal him after just two weeks at his old job.

At the time of this writing, Kelvin had coached K Justin Tucker to first among kickers and the Jets defense to ninth overall.  What will his first move with the Human Amoebas be?  We're excited to find out. Looking over Kelvin's past drafts, it's clear he has a predilection for tight ends. We're looking for a big move there as he integrates himself into Amoebas' management.

Asked for commentary, GM Eric of the Amoebas declined to say anything while Kelvin was happy to step up to the mic.  "Here's what happened. He saw my potential and asked me if I wanted to co-own with him. Game recognize game." Currently, Kelvin's team (El Nino's) is top of the charts in his other yearly fourteen team league, 2-0 with the highest points scored.

Jon, of the slighted Hungry Hungry Ouroboros, also released a statement. Well, more of a personal warning, sent to Eric via this blog post.  "He [Kelvin] can't be trusted.  He'll stab you right in the back to rise higher in this league.  I fear for you [Eric], that's it. I'm not even sad that Kelvin left me, I'm just warning Human Amoebas that this man is known to have his sights set higher than just a co-GM job.  He wants his own franchise and he might do a strategic takeover to get one!"

Rumors are that Kelvin has already made powerful enemies with his (weak) trash talk. He's also laid down the gauntlet that he'll take anyone in basketball and is calling for a Classic. Reports also indicate that Kelvin plays dirty and has recently taken out one of the organizers of a local San Diego weekend game. Beware fellow owners, beware.