10 Years: Divisions

We already looked at who the best divisions, conferences, and franchises were league wide. Now for a brief look at what kinds of trends there have been intra-division. It was quite interesting to see which divisions had some parity versus which were solely dominated by one (or two) teams. It's also cool to see that some of the traditional powerhouses have been fading while new franchises are rising!

WEST RED: Knights Who Say Ni
Another Bad Creation has mostly controlled the division here, with five division titles, two championships (2004, 2009), and only two losing seasons (2007, 2013). They had a great run in 2008-10, averaging ten wins over three seasons. Of late however, they have fallen upon hard times, dipping to their personal worst 5-8 last season. The second best team in the division, Original Salt aka Rhythm Drive, has been an above average franchise as one of seven teams to possess over a 0.500 regular season win average. With an impressive seven straight winning seasons between 2005-2011 to their name, they haven’t captured that elusive championship despite advancing to the Super Bowl twice (2005, 2008). Historically, ABC and Original Salt have clearly been a class above their pack.

For example, P Funk All Stars have had two one win campaigns, plus a recent two win season, and were stuck in a very bad place. After three winning years covering 2004-2006 — including an 11-2 record in 2005, which got them their only division title — P Funk had been horrible for most of the last half decade, until their recent 8-5 bounce back. Hopefully this is a sign that they've turned the corner and are ready to ascend again. Dragging up the historical rear has been Jedi Knights, who have been the second worst team overall in the history of the league. The good news is that Jedi have been outstanding the past two seasons, compiling an 18-7-1 record while capturing consecutive division titles. After eight straight years of losing records, Jedi Knights might have finally emerged from padawan status.

WEST WHITE: Hoke-A-Mania
This division mostly serves as a punching bag for Morrie’s Pogiboys. What else can it be when one team wins eight of ten division titles? The two bottom feeders here, Cameltoe and Ann Arbor Bamfers have only seven more regular season wins combined than Pogiboys do all by themselves (95 to 88). Forget division titles, Bamfers and Cameltoe have only had five winning seasons between the two of them. Each of them can "boast" decade long winning percentages in the sub 39% area and both have been pretty bad year after year. Of course, Ann Arbor Bamfers slid into the playoffs this season despite scoring the league’s lowest PF so all sorts of crazy things happen. And it should be noted that Cameltoe did have a nice 9-4, 8-5, 9-4 stretch in 2007-2009, but that’s been it for franchise highlights. I don’t even want to know how many playoff appearances these two teams have combined. One? Two?

The other team in this division, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros, formerly Thundercats, feature a sterling fifth best regular season winning percentage, three Super Bowl appearances, and a title from 2011. But all of that was under old ownership. Since 2012 they’ve pooped out consecutive 5-8 records and it seems like despite being nominally in the playoff hunt, they are mostly only marginally competitive due to being in a very weak division. Fun fact: One thing this division loves to do is get into tie games. They have had an astonishing eleven ties, whereas the next closest division only has four total. I guess it’s true: nobody wants to win anything in Hoke-A-Mania!

EAST BLUE: The Wood
Is this another case of a juggernaut towering over the rest of his division mates? 100 Acre Pooh Bears has ruled The Wood with a honey coated fist for many years, dominating to the tune of seven division titles. They’ve also won championships in 2006 and 2013, had eight winning seasons, and only suffered a few down years (aka "The Great Pooh Hibernation of 2008-9"). Interestingly, this division hasn’t had all doormats for Pooh Bears to step on — unlike Pogiboys in Hoke-A-Mania. While Italion Stallionz, Fockers, and Squirtle Squad have all compiled winning percentages slightly below average, they aren’t terrible. In fact, Squirtle Squad, who has the lowest decade long win percentage for this division, has been to an equal number of Super Bowls (three) as Pooh Bears and have also tied them for rings won. Until this past season when Pooh Bears won it all, it could have been argued that Squirtles were the class of the division over the past decade even though they only won two division titles. They’ve certainly been just as dangerous of a team when they get into the post-season.

Porta took over a franchise coming off four straight losing seasons and immediately righted the ship with a 9-4 2012 campaign. Even though his Italian Stallionz slipped to 6-7 this past year, that record helped The Wood turn in a season that featured them as the most competitive division in Maize in Blue -- with three teams with winning records, and the one win away from 0.500 Stallionz. As for *Fockers formerly Human Amoebas, they can boast of one division title, although it was “earned” from a 5-8 season in 2008. A 5-8 division winner, that’s just embarrassing! They barely missed the playoffs this past season, due to a tie-breaker, but their co-owners assure everyone that they’ll be back in competition next year. Tidbit: Aside from Pooh Bears, none of the other teams here have chalked up a double digit win season. Also, this division used to be called “7 Championship Drive” so clearly there were four championships that came before 2004 I don't have the historical data for.

EAST GOLD: Lebowski Achievers
After going 2-10-1 in 2009, Mandalorian Warriors have increased their win total in each of the last four years and are now in the enviable position of defending their perch atop Lebowski Achievers with an ultra strong team. Warriors have won five division titles during their reign, with three of them in a row, and the meter's still running. Traditionally, the Warriors have had pairs of down seasons sandwiched by a string of successful ones. If that holds true, a two or three win season is coming for them in 2014! Nipping right at the Warriors' heels for regular season wins is Detroit Players, who are the only back-to-back champions from the past decade. Despite only winning two division titles (2004, 2008), Detroit Players has put up some gaudy win seasons and looks to be recovered from a nasty bout of losing campaigns from 2010-12. They made the playoffs this past season and could be ready to make a return to their winning ways.

Wayne State Tartars came aboard in 2006, slumped to 2-11 in 2007, had a brief string of success, and have now plummeted to three straight four win seasons. They captured a division title in 2009 but that seems like a long time ago. They’ve been the losing-est team in Lebowski Achievers and has had to contend with two very successful teams, plus Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, which is the closest squad to playing straight 0.500 ball in Maize and Blue history. DM Paper Company, throughout all its name changes, has a ten year record of 64-65-1. That’s incredible! It’s no surprise that they’re the eighth ranked winning percentage team, as they've been perfectly average. Their one shot at glory, a league leading 11-2 season in 2010, was upended by Squirtle Squad in the Conference Finals. After three winning seasons, DM Paper Company dipped to 4-9 this past season but history indicates that they'll climb out of their hole, albeit slowly.

[Note: WS Tartars had a change in ownership recently and are now Sweep The Leg Zabka. Additionally, DM Paper Company rebranded to become the Shoguns of Harlem.]