Pre-Draft Moves, and New Owner

Let’s welcome a new owner to the league, Alan! He’s taking over from the moribund Ann Arbor Bamfers franchise, who have been the worst team in Maize and Blue over the last decade. [Edit: Actually Alan is replacing WS Tartars!] The newly rebranded Sweep The Leg Zabka will look to turn things around quickly. The only thing we know about Alan is that he’s young, he’s hungry, he’s a Soliman, and he’s a Michigan State Spartan. Worse than that, he’s got a Comcast email account. Cobra Kai is stuck in the Eighties! Regardless, let’s raise our glasses for Jay’s years of service and give a hearty welcome to new guy Alan!

2014 Pre-Draft Trades:

• #174: Hungry Ouroboros trade 2014 RD3 to Pooh Bears for Ray Rice
• #175: Cameltoe trade 2014 RD1 to Pooh Bears for Doug Martin and Jordan Reed
• #176: P Funk All Stars 2014 RD2 to Pogiboys for DeSean Jackson
• #177: Sweep the Leg Zabkha trade 2017 RD1 and 2018 RD2 to Mandalorian Warriors for Rob Gronkowski and Knowshon Moreno
• #178: Fockers trade 2014 RD10 to Hungry Ouroboros for Antonio Gates
• #179: Sweep the Leg Zabkha trade 2014 RD3 to Squirtle Squad for Rashad Jennings
• #180: Italian Stallionz trade 2014 RD7 to Hungry Ouroboros for Mike Wallace  

Last off-season we saw a ton of pre-draft moves that included the blockbuster involving Matthew Stafford and Demaryius Thomas, as well as Cameltoe's complete rebuild. This off-season, we had quite a few moves also, with many notable names shuffling around. The most signifcant trade was Cameltoe moving their 2014 first rounder to Pooh Bears in exchange for Doug Martin and Jordan Reed. That pick ended up winning the lottery (I think) and gave our defending champions the #1 overall pick for 2014! Yowza! Only time will tell if that was a worthwhile trade, but a part of Felipe must be sad that he won’t be able to grab his choice of rookie.

Pooh Bears wasn’t done either, as they continued to clear spare parts off their championship team. Longtime stalwart Ray Rice was dumped to Hungry Ouroboros for a 2014 third rounder, as the ownership team of Jose and Jayvee decided that they couldn’t put up with Rice’s off-season, well, you know what Rice did. Ouroboros then acquired a pair of low end picks in exchange for Mike Wallace and Antonio Gates, essentially giving away two of his 2013 keepers. P Funk All Stars got into the action by sending a 2014 second rounder to Pogiboys for DeSean Jackson, who had an outstanding season last year, and will now bring his deep speed to a new NFL and fantasy team.

And since new owners love to make a splash, Alan put a stamp on his new team by moving a 2014 RD3, 2017 RD1 and 2018 RD2 to acquire Rob Gronkowski, Knowshon Moreno, and Rashad Jennings. We’ll take a look at the impact of these new keepers later on, but it’s interesting to note that the last three new owners have all made big splash trades -- Ouroboros moved Drew Brees, Fockers acquired Demaryius Thomas -- before even playing a game. Note: Matt has now firmly established his first mover advantage for hitting up the new owner for trades before they've even had a chance to catch their breath. I remember I got an email from him literally within an hour or two of taking over Ouroboros three years ago!