Tuesday, August 28, 2018

2018 West / Red: Knights Who Say Ni

P Funk All Stars (2-11, 9-4)
When did this division get so awful? P Funk actually won the 2016 division title behind a nine win campaign but then promptly collapsed to the worst team in the league — that was their fourth two-win season, plus two one-win seasons. We’re gonna go ahead and say that 2016 was an outlier and treat P Funk as still rebuilding.

Paolo’s keepers have never been good, and this year is no different. Derek Carr is looking for a bounce back year — devoid of Amari Cooper, who was traded away early in 2017 — and Marshawn Lynch and Lamar Miller as the starting backfield won’t sell many tickets. DaVante Parker could get more work with Jarvis Landry gone in Miami, and Evan Engram is a decent tight end, and sure, pre-draft acquisition Kelvin Benjamin is okay, but what’s to get excited about here?

How about an all-in young guy makeover!? Yes! With high picks all over, GM Paolo took Royce Freeman (1.2), Sam Darnold (2.1), and Cooper Kupp (2.11) off the board. Not bad! But then the auto-draft started in RD5, as P Funk nabbed two kickers and a defense in RD5-7. Well, we are at least semi-excited about Martavis Bryant’s (10.1) comeback potential in Oakland?

Team Grrrrific (4-9, 4-9)
Inheriting a team that hasn’t had a winning record since 2011 ain’t easy but new owner Donny was up to the challenge. While the wins remained the same, Team Grrrrific’s core looks, dare I say it, terrific! I mean, when you draft at the top of the draft — after Grrrrific’s 2017 Toilet Bowl win — and get the consensus number-one player, Saquon Barkley, your rebuild path is going to get a lot brighter.

Combine Barkley with last year’s spot-on trade acquisition of Kareem Hunt, plus this year’s pre-draft trade for Mark Ingram, and this running game is looking incredibly solid. Is there better one-two punches in the league? Not many! We’ll see how quarterback keeper Marcus Mariota fares as the starter, and if he stumbles, Donny was careful to invest only a lowly pick on his backup, Tyrod Taylor (10.4).

Mariota will have some intriguing receiving pieces to work with in injury returnee Mike Williams,  new New England white guy Chris Hogan, and deep threat Will Fuller. The draft added Robert Woods (2.4), Jamison Crowder (3.4), and OJ Howard (4.4) and perpetual tease Austin Seferian-Jenkins (8.4). THere’s injury risks everywhere but this team is suddenly chock-full of talent and it’s been an incredibly fast rebuild. To think, just one year ago this team’s best keeper was Isaiah Crowell! The days of four-win seasons are likely way over in Grrrrific-land!

Jedi Knights (5-8, 4-9)
Once upon a time, the Jedis were good. We were hoping 2016’s four-win season was just an aberration but a five-win follow up proves it: the Sith are winning. But GM Chris isn’t going down without a fight. In a soft division, just acquiring Tom Brady, via pre-draft trade, could be enough to challenge Another Bad Creation. There’s still a lot of fall-out from the disastrous 2015 trade for Marshawn Lynch and Chris didn’t get a pick until RD3.

Still, we love the selection of Lamar Jackson (5.6) as the Brady replacement — even if Mitchell Trubisky was also tagged as a keeper — and Nelson Agholor (3.6) can run fast, but really a keeper core of TY Hilton, Emmanuel Sanders, Greg Olsen, and Carlos Hyde won’t scare anyone, that’s for sure. Can later picks Paul Richardson (6.6), Giovani Bernard (9.6), and Doug Martin (10.6) prove that they just aren’t low ceiling guys? Yup, it looks like it’ll be up to Brady to lead this ragtag bunch back to 0.500.

Another Bad Creation (10-3, 8-5)
Winning must be easy when the rest of your division only combines for eleven wins. ABC had an incredible 2015 title run, while ostensibly “rebuilding,” and now they are just milking all their extra draft picks. Three first rounders produced rookie Kerryon Johnson (1.6), Brandin Cooks (1.13), and Dion Lewis (1.15). Another spare RD2 netted rookie receiver Michael Gallup, who could soon take over in Cowboy land. Add in tight end George Kittle (3.15) and ABC’s first few draft picks might be better than some of our keeper cores!

Oliver’s real team boasts last year’s number one overall, Leonard Fournette, an explosive duo of Michael Thomas and Stefon Diggs, and perhaps the injury return to form of Jordan Reed. Rex Burkhead is a decent pass-catching option, and Kirk Cousins finally got out from under a franchise tag and will now stop complaining. Add in a guy named Geronimo (6.15) and this presumptive division champs are ready for title contention again!

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