#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #4 Stink Pink Gators (8-5)
The kings of the East racked up their tenth division title — their third-straight — and Pooh Bears are positioned once again to make a deep run in the playoffs. After getting upset in the first round twice in a row though, J and Jayvee have to be wary of what lurks ahead and won’t be taking any matchups for granted. They are on a 5-0-1 streak to end the regular season and average a MnB second-best 103.9 points per week. Ezekiel Elliot has been incredible over the past month, plus a semi-bounceback season from David Johnson, so there’s still too much talent on this team not to be afraid of Pooh Bears. Elliot, Antonio Brown, Mike Evans, and a wonderful season from Cam Newton make this the Eastern Conference’s team to fear!
Pulling off a 8-5 record despite a PF/PA split of 1168/1174 is not easy. That’s now two playoff appearances in a row for our sophomore owner and Dave will get the chance for a huge upset if they can pull themselves together for one more big week. Stink Pink came out of the gates red hot with six wins in seven tries — as well as seven 100+ PF in eight games — but have faded down the stretch some. The loss of AJ Green was obviously a huge blow mid-season, as was quickly losing pre-draft trade acquisition Jay Ajayi earlier in the year, but that alone can’t explain Gators’ dip. Still, with Carson Wentz throwing to Adam Thielen, Zach Ertz, and Jarvis Landry, an upset could be possible!
#2 Squirtle Squad (9-4) vs #3 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
Squirtle took out the top seed last year and find themselves facing off against the defending champs! After starting off 1-3, Brian has piloted this team to an 8-1 record the rest of the way and bolstered the roster through a handful of trades — mostly with Mandalorian Warriors. Squirtles picked up Duke Johnson, Juju Smith-Schuster, Matt Ryan, and James White at the Mandalorian Megamart, and George Kittle from Another Bad Creation. After losing James Connor — and Jimmy Garoppolo much earlier — Squad has replaced every moving part and is going to ride Alvin Kamara and his built on-the-fly contender into the playoffs. We love Brian’s aggression and hope it all works out as it’s been a looooong Super Bowl drought for Squirtles.
Not every defending champ gets the chance to defend their title in the postseason but Sweep the Leg Zabka has even picked up another Green and White division title by H2H tie-breaker over Stink Pink Gators to get their back-to-back journey off right. A 5-1 record to finish up the regular season means Zabka is in fighting form and looking for an elusive Maize and Blue repeat! It’s been a tough season too, as a slew of injuries have hit this team and Alan has had to unearth guys like Jared Cook and Tyler Boyd while Rob Gronkowski and Marvin Jones sat down. Drew Brees and Odell Beckham have really kept the champs afloat and there’s going to have to be more of that to get Zabka back to a Super Bowl.
#1 Team Grrrrrific (11-2) vs #8 Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
Our best team in 2018 used a league wide low PA paired with a fourth-ranked PF to rise from the depths of a 4-9 record last season to top of the charts this year! In just his second year, Donny has vaulted in the standings. Oh yeah, did we mention he won the Toilet Bowl last year and drafted Saquon Barkley? That probably had a lot to do with Grrrrific’s leap to the top. Donny was also proactive in recently trading for Russell Wilson, replacing IR-ed Andy Dalton in the lineup, shoring up that roster hole. However, the real issue facing Grrrrific is that Kareem Hunt has been cut by the Chiefs for physical violence and there’s also OJ Howard and Will Fuller on IR as well. Can Saquon, Wilson, Robert Woods, and a stiff Texans defense do enough to stave off upsets? Or will the karma from the Hunt fiasco tank this team? After starting out 0-2 and ripping off eleven straight wins and counting, we’re curious how this plays out for Donny.
Bamfers secured a third straight playoff appearance by taking out Ouroboros in WK13 behind a late surge from Golden Tate. After suffering through a five loss streak between WK7-11, Randy’s team pulled it all together for two solid wins. The big question now is what happens to Melvin Gordon and his health, as Bamfers would be left with only rookie Sony Michel in the backfield if Gordon can’t go. It’s been an up and down season for Bamfers but maybe Philip Rivers can deliver some postseason magic and get a huge upset here! (Congrats to Bamfers for edging my team out of the playoffs. My Slack overtures for Randy to lose WK13 were totally ignored…good play, good play)
#2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs #7 Team Cameltoe (7-6)
After two nine-win seasons, Pogiboys came up with another double digit win season, as well as their fourth straight Big House division title — their twelfth overall. No pressure but this could be the best shot for Pogiboys in awhile to win a long coveted ring, as they led the league in PF at 106.7 per game, enter the postseason having won five of their last six, and also face a weakened number-one seed in their conference. If the emergence of Patrick Mahomes, Tarik Cohen, and rookie Nick Chubb (acquired via trade in October) — along with Travis Kelce and DeAndre Hopkins — can’t get Pogiboys a ring, well, it’s going to be another long offseason for Alvin…
What a strange season for Cameltoe as they started off 1-4, ripped off six straight wins, and then faltered down the stretch to lose their last two. Still, Felipe has used the Jared Goff to Julio Jones and Eric Ebron combo to return Cameltoe to the playoffs after a two year drought — and shipped off former franchise savior Russell Wilson during the season. They’ll be up against a tough challenge though, as they were shellacked by first round matchup Pogiboys last week, but maybe can take faith that they rose to the occasion in WK7 and scored 128.5 in a win vs Alvin’s team. Still, for at frachise that is often under 0.500, 2018's 7-6 record has to count as a win for Cameltoe already.
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