Another winning record, another year in the Toilet Bowl. That makes two seasons in a row that Fockers have landed out of the postseason despite a good enough regular season. Heck, they won their 2016 title on the strength of a 7-6 record! A victim of a particularly strong Eastern conference did what they could but came down the stretch run with a 0-2-1 record and that pushed them out. The good news is that this team really could use a high draft pick, as the bottom fell out this year aside from all-world Davante Adams catching passes from Ben Roethlisberger and Andrew Luck. With Le’Veon Bell a season long no-show and Matt Breida getting injured the past month, the Fockers run game is in shambles. As the top seed in the Toilet Bowl, Fockers will hope to pilot themselves to a #1 overall pick.
Luckily, a first round win seems likely as Fockers will face off against one-win P Funk, who is almost aggressively tanking yet another season. Injuries were an issue for this team — Marshawn Lynch, Cooper Kupp, and Martavis Bryant all end the season on IR — but there were numerous examples of players who were in the lineup and unable to play. Add in plenty of mismanagement by Paolo over the bye weeks, and it’s surprising this team even got one victory. Averaging just 61.3 per game, it would seem a minor miracle if P Funk pulled off an upset here. Could the fans be clamoring for new ownership?!
#2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) vs #7 Mandalorian Warriors (2-11)
Ouroboros slipped their way into the playoffs last season and made some noise but it looks like a return to the playoffs won’t be in the cards for this long inept franchise. Despite owning the best fantasy player in the universe, Todd Gurley, Ouroboros couldn’t pull out one win their last month of games and will enter the Toilet Bowl as a deflated high seed. The pre-draft trade for 2018 1.5, Calvin Ridley, worked out well but after that there was almost no other successes to speak of aside from Gurley and Ridley -- and arguably a fleet of young-ish backs. I guess it’s back to the bottom for this team that made a surprise Super Bowl run last season.
Who’s the most intriguing team in Maize and Blue right now? May we present the 2020+ Mandalorian Warriors?! By our count, Mandalorian has engaged in eight trades this season, mostly of the player for future draft pick variety. GM Matt is going for a full on rebuild and dynasty build by shipping off any player that is remotely productive now for future prospects. After going 1-11 all season, it was a bit of a shock to see Warriors pick up a win in WK13, after the entire roster had been stripped for parts all year long. The bench features seven players on IR/Out and the “star” here is Jameis Winston. This is the greatest long term planning in MnB history and we’re excited to see where it ends up, if Warriors can pick up another title before the 2022 season!
#3 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7) vs #6 Jedi Knights (4-9)Hey, six wins means Xur eclipsed their win total from the last two seasons combined! No more "worst record in the league!" Combine the emergence of sophomores Christian McCaffrey and Kenny Golladay, plus a breakout season from Jared Cook, and the Armada is trending up. Heck, even Mike's gamble for 2018 1.3 Josh Gordon mostly worked out as the repeat offender found himself in a great new situation. So while the high end for Xur is still not quite there yet, finishing strong with a 2-1 end to the regular season gives this fan base some hope, which is more than they had in recent years.
As for Jedi, it’s official: they suck. After three straight years of four wins, five wins, and four wins, this once contending franchise is on the ropes. A 3-2 start this year devolved into a 1-7 finish and facing the second-toughest PA in the league didn’t help Jedis much, as opponents scored 91.9 points per game against them. To add insult to injury, their leading scorer this season, Emmanuel Sanders, just torn his ACL in practice. Oh but there is good news here, as GM Chris has unearthed the young quarterback combo of Mitchell Trubisky and Lamar Jackson, and one of them should replace Tom Brady, who was a disappointment this year after being acquired for future picks pre-draft. The real gem this season has been Phillip Lindsay, as the Bronco evolved into one of the top rookie runners -- Chris moved two future firsts for Lindsay back in October. With a few more savvy moves, Jedi could be back on top soon despite their recent dry spell.
#4 Italian Stallionz (5-8) vs #5 Another Bad Creation (4-9)
These Stallionz are stuck in a quagmire as they’ve failed to top 0.500 in four consecutive seasons. Five wins is better than last year’s four but that’s incremental progress at best. A WK3-WK6 losing streak did this team in and Porta’s team whimpered down the end with 47.5 and 55 points scored to close the regular season. There should be some juice in the Aaron Rodgers to Tyreek Hill combination but a mostly struggling run game has been this team’s Achilles heel as they’ve rotated through Tevin Coleman, Chris Carson, now injured Alex Collins (drafted RD1.4), Austin Ekeler, Doug Martin, and Jamaal Williams. We hope Stallionz can make some noise in the Toilet Bowl because a nice young runner could really help this team get out of the cellar.
The defending Knights Who Say Ni division champs took a fall this season after tying for the most wins in MnB last year. 96.2 PA is what happened! While ABC put up a respectable 96.5 PF, they just couldn’t find much consistency all season as they boom and busted all over the place. There were injuries to be sure, mostly notably Leonard Fournette for most of the season. Without him, and with rookie Kerryon Johnson barely used, there was no ground game to speak of this year. The good news is, when ABC is on, they can cook. With Fournette back off one-game suspension, there is an impressive passing attack of Kirk Cousins, Michael Thomas, Brandin Cooks, newly revived Amari Cooper (acquired mid-season for Greg Kittle), Stefon Diggs, and Jordan Reed. During the last seven weeks, Oliver’s team has only dipped below 87.5 PF once, and we think they’re the dark horse to take the Toilet Bowl if they can string some consistent games together.
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