Super Bowl XV

#7 Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6) def #4 MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4), 133.0 - 83.5

Another year, another Soliman upset over Alvin. Ouch. Last year Pogiboys was the lower seed but this time they were the odds on favorite to win. Instead, Sweep the Leg Zabka put up their highest scoring week of the season en route to a well, a total rout.

Pogiboys had only one week sub 83.5 points — back in WK7 when they threw up 70.5 — and Sweep the Leg had been putting up dual 56.0 and 59.5 points as recently as the last two weeks of the regular season. However, Alan’s team pulled themselves together for their playoff run, taking down top ranked Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada, and then sneaking by Squirtle Squad in RD2 by a mere +2.5 points. Zabka averaged 106.8 points during the 2019 playoffs after putting up a PF of only 72.3 over the course of the regular season.

After six seasons in Maize and Blue, Alan has managed a 49-28-1 (0.636) regular season record, six playoff appearances, four division titles, three Super Bowl appearances, and two championships. That’s a strong case for being the best owner in MnB history, especially given the time frame he’s accomplished this in. Two rings for Drew and Devonta!

Drew Brees, Devonta Freeman, Tyler Boyd, and Jared Cook all threw up 20+, and even with DK Metcalf tossing up a zero -- Odell Beckham Jr. was even benched for the title tilt -- Zabka really had no reason to fear Pogiboys because Nick Chubb started the day off with a mere four points, which was not what we predicted.

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce did their thing but Chubb and DeAndre Hopkins came out flat, as did Patriots defense. The third highest scorer for Pogiboys? How about Raheem Mostert with eleven points. For Pogi, it’s back for another regular season run and then a prayer and a bit of luck for the next Super Bowl. Should MoRRie’s Pogiboys consider a name change to the Vikings or Bills? Sorry Alvin, better luck next year, again...

Toilet Bowl V

#14 Mandalorian Warriors (4-9) def #16 P-Funk All Stars (3-10), 48.5 - 38.5

In the year of our Baby Yoda, it was only fitting that Matt’s Mandalorian Warriors entered their first Toilet Bowl finals and then took next year’s number one overall pick from P Funk. Along the way, they upset Cameltoe and Bamfers, an impressive feat for the fourteenth power ranked team.

It’s been a long road back to respectability for Mandalorian. Since their 2013 title, the Warriors have gone 27-49-2 (0.355) and recent years have produced four, two, and then four wins again. Of course, all of this has been by design, as the Warriors have been busy acquiring multiple early round picks for the 2022 season and on. Without a full tally, we believe they have something like six RD1 in 2022 and then three in 2023.

It wasn’t exactly a stellar Toilet Bowl, but Baker Mayfield and Rex Burkhead led the way for Mandalorian, taking down Adrian Peterson and the Not Quite All Stars. AP is still around? Seriously? For P Funk, coming up empty in their first Toilet Bowl finals is a bit disappointing, but after three straight years of being the lowest ranked team — two wins in 2017, one in 2018, three this year — it has to be at least a bit of joy knowing they were capable of some major upsets along the way.

Congrats to the Warriors and we’re excited to see what the future holds for this team! Let's hope it's brighter than the mid-episodes of the Disney+ show!

Super Bowl Preview 2019

#4 MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4) vs #7 Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6)

After putting up a historic 107.0 points per game last year, Pogiboys come right back this season and topped their own record, scoring 109.1 points per game, resetting the new high mark for Maize and Blue -- we’ve been tracking this stat since 2013. (Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada put up 104.4 ppg this year, good for fourth overall historically.) Regular season accolades are de rigueur for they just can't seem to win the big one, even as recently as last year's disappointing Super Bowl XIIII showing. Can XV finally be their breakthrough?!

Pogiboys faced a real softball schedule this year, going against the second lowest PA this season, with opponents putting up just 77.7 PA. That gave the 2019 Pogiboys a historic +31.5 PF/PA each week. Impressive right? What’s more impressive is how Alvin managed to lose four games this season. Maybe he was trying to not get too far in the lead. (Interestingly, three of the top five PF/PA difference seasons were set this year, with Xur beating opponents by +25.8 and Another Bad Creation with +24.6)

Despite losing The Big House division title to Aaron’s The Autumn Wind in the last week of the regular season, Pogiboys wrapped up their last month with three wins and just one loss, and then came back strong to defeat TAW when they re-met in the first round of the playoffs. Having avenged that WK13 loss, Pogiboys advance to their fourth Super Bowl -- and first back-to-back showing -- after taking down Team Grrrrific in the Eastern Conference championships.

All that stands between Alvin and his long awaited title is one foe. Unfortunately, that foe is 2017 champ Sweep the Leg Zabka, and they have a history of big escapes and daring upsets. Despite a 1-4 start the season, Alan righted the ship by winning four straight from WK6-9, and the regular season on a 6-2 tear, and they’ve shown no signs of stopping after upending top ranked Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada in the first round off the playoffs and then winning an absolute nail biter versus Squirtle Squad last weekend. Seriously, that win was only by +2.5 points, and Alan has to be thankful for whoever the hell Terry McLaurin is. Heading into their third Super Bowl appearance in just their sixth season for Sweep is quite a feat.

They’ll be facing an uphill battle in the championship game as they were one of two teams to enter the postseason with negative PF/PA, and the largest at -9.1 per week. Is Drew Brees and Devonta Freeman enough to take down Patrick Mahomes, Nick Chubb, DeAndre Hopkins, and Travis Kelce? Plus that vaunted Patriots defense?

While every positional advantage seems to favor Pogiboys — plus a huge disparity in PF consistency — the meme spewing Zabkas aren’t afraid of anyone and if they can pull off their second title win against the long suffering Pogiboys, well…. this league might really need to be renamed to something other than Maize and Blue eh?

Playoff Results 2019: Matchups

RD1
Eastern Conference
#2 Another Bad Creation (9-4) vs #8 Team Grrrrific (7-6)
#3 The Autumn Wind (9-4) vs #4 MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4)

Western Conference
#1 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (11-2) vs #7 Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6)
#5 Squirtle Squad (7-5-1) vs #6 Pooh Bears (7-6)

Toilet Bowl RD1
#9 Stink Pink Gators (6-6-1) vs #16 P-Funk All Stars (3-10)
#10 Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7) vs #15 Jedi Knights (4-9)
#11 Team Cameltoe (5-8) vs #14 Mandalorian Warriors (4-9)
#12 Fockers (5-8) vs #13 Italian Stallionz (4-9)


RD2
Eastern Conference Championship: #4 MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4) vs #8 Team Grrrrific (7-6)
Western Conference Championship: #5 Squirtle Squad (7-5-1) vs #7 Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6)

Toilet Bowl Matchup #1:  #12 Fockers (5-8) vs #16 P-Funk All Stars (3-10)
Toilet Bowl Matchup #2:  #10 Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7) vs #14 Mandalorian Warriors (4-9)


RD3
Super Bowl: #4 MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4) vs #7 Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6)
Third place: #5 Squirtle Squad (7-5-1) vs #8 Team Grrrrific (7-6)

Toilet Bowl: #14 Mandalorian Warriors (4-9) vs #16 P-Funk All Stars (3-10)

Power Rankings 2019

Here are the final overall rankings from the season.   These power rankings represent the inverse draft order for next season, with the exception of the Toilet Bowl winner.

Playoff brackets have been updated accordingly.  There are three primary groups: Eastern Conference, Western Conference, Toilet Bowl.

Overall Power Rankings
1.  Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (11-2) - Green and White Division Champion.  Best Overall Record.
2.  Another Bad Creation (9-4) - Mark Dantonizzo Division Champion.  Wins H2H vs The Autumn Wind.
3.  The Autumn Wind (9-4) - The Big House Division Champion.  Wins H2H vs. MoRRie's Pogiboys.
4.  MoRRie's Pogiboys (9-4)
5.  Squirtle Squad (7-5-1) - Ohana Division Champion.  Next best overall record.
6.  Pooh Bears (7-6) - Next best overall record. Wins tiebreak vs Zabka and Grrrrific via Total Points For.
7.  Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6) - Wins H2H vs Team Grrrrific.
8.  Team Grrrrific (7-6)

Non-playoff Teams
9. Stink Pink Gators (6-6-1)
10. Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
11. Team Cameltoe (5-8) - Wins tiebreak vs Fockers via Total Points For
12. Fockers (5-8)
13. Italian Stallionz (4-9) - Wins tiebreak vs Mandalorian Warriors and Jedi Knights via 3-way H2H winning %.
14. Mandalorian Warriors (4-9) - Wins H2H vs Jedi.
15. Jedi Knights (4-9)
16. P-Funk All Stars (3-10)


PLAYOFF MATCHUPS
Eastern Conference
Another Bad Creation (9-4) vs Team Grrrrific (7-6)
The Autumn Wind (9-4) vs MoRRie’s Pogiboys (9-4)

Western Conference
Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (11-2) vs Sweep the Leg Zabka (7-6)
Squirtle Squad (7-5-1) vs Pooh Bears (7-6)

Final Standings 2019

Full Stats

Regular Season All-Time: Owner

With a revamped -- and sortable -- historical spreadsheet, we can now easily parse out data from the last fifteen years of Maize and Blue. Fifteen years! Let's take a look at who the best regular season owners have been:

And below is by franchise, discounting ownership changes:

2019 West / White: The Big House

No draft review, no keeper core rankings, I’ve been negligent on all things MnB! I mean, aside from quitting. The real reason for all the delay is a writing deadline but damn the torpedos, let’s get a quick in-season look at some of the teams at least. We’ll start with a peak into The Big House, which has all four teams riding high at 2-1 for the season. [ 2018 Preview ]

Team Name, Current Record (Past two regular season)

MoRRie’s Pogiboys, 2-1 (10-3, 9-4)
Already in familiar territory, Pogiboys are leading the league with 115.7 points per game —outpacing the 107.0 points they put up last regular season, which was the best PF in the past five years — and could possibly be headed toward a fourth straight division title. But who cares about division titles?!? Certainly not Alvin. After making another Super Bowl appearance last season, the Pogis were upset in the big game and are still looking for a ring. Sigh…

The Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce connection will keep the fans thrilled, and having Nick Chubb solidify himself as a top ten runner has been a delight for a team that's needed a lead RB for awhile. Add in DeAndre Hopkins, the surprising Chris Godwin, and 2019 RD1.15 Curtis Samuel to give Mahomes even more targets to throw to and Pogis are stacked. In addition, the Patriots defense is the best in the fantasy so far and there's really no sign of any slowing down for them, or for Pogis. It’ll be a long few months ahead -- especially for any UMich fans, ahem -- but Alvin should already have his sights onto what he can do to finally capture that elusive championship.

The Autumn Wind, 2-1 (6-7, 7-6)
Our newest owner has hit the ground running and has already proven his bonafides, averaging a sterling 112.8 points per game, good for second in the league. Could it be possible that Aaron will challenge for a division title in his first year out, with an inherited roster that he’s barely had time to tweak? How far can The Autumn Wind get in their first go-around in MnB?

Dalvin Cook has emerged early on as the best fantasy running back around, while quarterback Dak Prescott has been incredible while playing for a contract. It looks like passing on Kyler Murray was the right choice here, even as 2019 number one overall pick Josh Jacobs has dipped after his historic opening game. If Jacobs can prove himself again soon, he and Cook will form a formidable one-two punch — even as Todd Gurley seems to be very limited in his playing time so far.

Meanwhile, on the receivers end, Larry Fitzgerald has rejuvenated himself under Murray’s arm while Calvin Ridley has been good to start off the year. Darren Waller was the second tight end Aaron drafted at RD5.7 but so far he’s been the best option here, especially after a huge WK3 that pushed him up to a top five TE ranking. This all sounds quite solid and we predict smooth sailing ahead for TAW.

Ann Arbor Bamfers, 2-1 (6-7, 7-6)
The Bamfers are coming off their third straight playoff appearance and have solidified themselves as the second best team in the division over the past three seasons. After years of futility and one of the worst all-time franchise records in MnB history, Randy’s team is now ready to take the next step and get a playoff win, which they haven’t done since 2012. They’ve been ousted in the first round each of the past three seasons — by Pogiboys, Pogiboys, and Grrrrrific — and will look for some postseason success now that they’ve stabilized their regular seasons. Note: A thrilling 96.5 to 95.0 win in WK1 was a super way to start off their year!

Draft pick 3.9 Mark Andrews has been the second best tight end on this young season, and heck, Austin Hooper has been the sixth best at that position as well, which gives Bamfers a stellar TE duo. Throw in receivers Tyrell Williams and Marvin Jones Jr. doing a few nice things — plus the eventual return of Golden Tate from suspension — and the passing attack is in pretty decent hands too, as piloted by Philip Rivers.

The problem is that there’s no real run game here, with not much hope on the way. Melvin Gordon continues to hold out and sophomore Sony Michel was recently called “the worst starting runner back” in the league by none other than Bill Simmons. So yeah, Gordon is going to have to come back quickly if Bamfers want to elevate themselves to the next level. For now, they’re averaging a respectable 82.6 points and are near even for PA/PF, which should help them get into another postseason!

Team Cameltoe, 2-1 (7-6, 6-7)
After two lower scoring games to open the season at 1-1, Cameltoe went over a hundred points last week to take down Pogiboys, which had to feel great for Felipe as Pogi had eliminated them last year in the opening round of the playoffs. After a five and six win season, last year’s 7-6 record and postseason appearance was still a successful one for Cameltoe, and they look like they’ll be slugging it out with everyone else in the division for another playoff showing. Currently they’re averaging a respectable 83.0 points, outscoring opponents by a PA of ten per game.

Julio Jones just signed a huge guaranteed deal and is now adding plenty of touchdowns to his stat line. He's been the leader of a talented Cameltoe receiving corps that includes keeper Christian Kirk, 2019 RD2.10 Courtland Sutton, and the still fast RD6.10 DeSean Jackson. That should give Jared Goff enough targets on the season, even if Goff has yet to really show what he’s capable of, as he’s barely playing better than backup Derek Carr.

Running back Mark Ingram has been incredible as he’s averaged 21.0 ppg and is the fourth best RB so far. Add in Marlon Mack doing top-seven RB things and the ground game for Cameltoe is looking fantastic. Tyler Eifert continues to be a tease, as does Trey Burton, but a few points here and there may not matter at the tight end position. It’s an ultra-tough Big House division this season, but as Felipe has already proven by toppling Pogiboys early on: anyone can take it!

Franchise ID Numbers

For the purposes of historical tracking, which I'll be working on over the next few weeks/months, every franchise now has a "franchise ID," prioritized by conference, division, owner start year, and owner alphabetical order.

Each franchise ID number stays with the franchise through all ownership handovers, thus making it easier to keep track for spreadsheets, and to dig up historical numbers. For example, the West conference only has five titles to the East's ten! More goodies to come...

East / Blue
1. Brian
2. Jose / Jayvee
3. Porta
4. Hong / Eric

East / Gold
5. Matt
6. Mike
7. Alan
8. Dave

West / Red
9. Chris
10. Oliver
11. Paolo
12. Donny

West / White
13. Alvin
14. Randy
15. Felipe
16. Aaron

New Owner: The Autumn Wind is a pirate

Two years ago we welcomed Dave and Donny into Maize and Blue and they’ve since gone on to rack up three winning seasons, three playoff appearances, one overall regular season title, a Toilet Bowl II win, and injected some enthusiasm into the league. Now, we have another new owner coming aboard, as Chris’ friend Aaron will be coming aboard in the 2019 MnB season as the newly dubbed The Autumn Wind.

So far we know that Aaron is a fan of poetry — his first message to MnB was a link to Steve Sabol’s epic — and that he’s clearly got an eye toward history. He's a botanist by trade and an avid big game hunter -- what is he hunting?! With his beloved Raiders headed to Las Vegas next season, Aaron could be looking to take a title home to Oakland right away. We’ll see how fast he can turn around a franchise that has gone 97-94-4 since 2004.

There’s some talent on the inherited team, but the group of Dak Prescott, Todd Gurley, Dalvin Cook, Larry Fitzgerald, and Calvin Ridley were not quite good enough for a winning record last season. Can Aaron pilot these guys to a title in year one of he reign? There’s already a big decision at stake as the outgoing management moved The Autumn Wind's 2019 RD1 and Joe Mixon for the 2019 1.1 overall pick. Who will Aaron take? Is there a Darrius Heyward-Bey type out there this year?!

We wish TAW the best of luck and hope this franchise can achieve the highest heights. And um, take good care of my team for me...

Since entering the league in 2012, when they replaced defending champion Cougar, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros has compiled a 36-55 (39.5%) record and recorded only one winning season and one lone playoff appearance. They started off their first five seasons by notching only four or five wins before a better 2017-18 period when they went 0.500. That's, um, not great.

Still, there were highlights. An upset-filled run to the Super Bowl in 2017, which resulted in a giant Super Bowl XIII collapse to Sweep the Leg Zabka...ouch. And there was a 2012 Toilet Bowl II win, plus a runner up showing in Toilet Bowl IV which well, meant nothing. Sigh.

Although on the field success has been rare, off the field GM Jon has never been afraid to trade. They entered the league by moving Drew Brees away rather quickly and blew up the championship core they inherited. In seven years they've put up twent-plus trades. Some of them were major, such as three trades either up or down from the 1.1 position — 2015 up for Todd Gurley, 2017 down from Leonard Fournette, and up again in 2019. Perhaps this will be the Ouroboros' legacy, shuffling lawn chairs on the Titanic...

Draft Order 2019

1. P Funk All Stars (1-12)
2. Mandalorian Warriors (2-11)
3. Jedi Knights (4-9)
4. Another Bad Creation (4-9)
5. Italian Stallionz (5-8) *TB Winner
6. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7)
7. The Autumn Wind / Hungry Ouroboros (6-7)
8. * Fockers (7-5)
9. Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
10. Team Cameltoe (7-6)
11. Stink Pink Gators (8-5)
12. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
13. Squirtle Squad (9-4)
14. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) *Champion
15. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3)
16. Team Grrrrrific (11-2)

Super Bowl XIIII

#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) def #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3), 143.5 - 97.0
Suffice to say, we’ve been here before. But at least this time, the Pooh versus Pogiboys matchup featured some scoring, unfortunately, it was mostly on Pooh’s side as they raced out to a huge lead early Sunday. By the time Patrick Mahomes and Doug Baldwin made their last ditch efforts to make up a 100+ point difference, most of the Pogi faithful were already tucked home safe in their beds, their daymare already over. We wish we had better news out there for the underdogs but this was a brutal beatdown by Pooh Bears, as they once again cement their status as the king of Maize and Blue.

With this victory, Pooh Bears have tied Another Bad Creation for the most titles since 2004 — three apiece — and now the race is on to see who can capture that fourth ring first. For now though, there’s no question that 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears are the best franchise in the history of MnB. With ten division titles, the second-best overall regular season record, one Toilet Bowl win, and three rings, nobody else stacks up to them.

Oh right, a little about the actual game. Deshuan Watson and Antonio Brown combined for 72 points, while every other position player put up double-digits. Overall it was a basic walk in the park for Pooh this season as they led the East with ten wins, put up a second-best 103.9 PA per week, dropped all respective lower seeds on their way to a title, and well, just took care of business by going 8-0-1 over the last nine weeks of the season. Led by Ezekiel Elliot, Brown, Mike Evans, David Johnson, and the dual-headed quarterback crew of Deshaun and Cam Newton, J and Jayvee only had to field twelve total position players all season long as they were a vision of stability. How can a third title be so boring?

With a slew of extra picks coming their way as usual, Pooh has a nice shot at being our first repeat champ since 2007-08. All hail the Pooh Bears reign — and Soliman reign, as Alan won Super Bowl XIII last season — and long may we live in fear. Congrats Solimans!

As of Morrie’s, this was their third Super Bowl loss in as many tries, and the only consolation is that there’s always next year. Armed with Patrick Mahomes, rookies Baker Mayfield and Nick Chubb, plus a deep receiving corps, Pogiboys should still remain a contender for years to come. Better luck tomorrow Alvin, better luck tomorrow.

Toilet Bowl IV

#4 Italian Stallionz (5-8) def #2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7), 110-93
After eliminating top seeded Fockers last week, Italian Stallionz set their sights on another upset in the Toilet Bowl finals and got a tougher matchup this time. Coming from behind, Stallionz really poured it on with Chris Carson and Tyreek Hill late — combined 33 points — to insure the victory as Hungry Hungry Ouroboros failed to sub out an injured Todd Gurley in time. Not that it would have mattered, because Aaron Rodgers’ 42 points gave Stallionz the likely win and then Carson/Hill took it home down the stretch.

It didn’t look good for Stallionz heading into the Toilet Bowl, as they had scored under 55+ in WK12-13, but they righted the ship at just the right time and put up 91.0, 80.5, and then 110.0 points to take the consolation tournament. We noted that Stallionz were lacking a run game all season but then Chris Carson caught fire with 15, 22, and 23 points for the past three weeks, solidifying his chances next year as an important keeper. Add on another (likely) young runner in 2019's draft and Stallionz should hopefully find themselves back in the playoffs. And let’s not forget tight end Chris Herndon, who produced seventeen points in the victory, saving his best effort for the last game of the fantasy season.

So for Porta, this is his first Toilet Bowl win and represents a high point after four years of losing records. Last year’s Toilet Bowl winner, Grrrrific, went on to lead the league in regular season wins, so maybe this consolation win will catapult Stallionz to similar results next season. Congratulazioni Italian Stallionz, and to a bright future ahead! Arrivederci!

As for the losers, Hungry Hungry Ouroboros had a fine chance to win their second Toilet Bowl but even with Joe Mixon inserted for Gurley, no win was going to come. At least that Jaguars defense, one of Ouroboros’ 2018 keepers, came through with 17 big points in a losing effort. Um, good job?

Super Bowl Preview 2018

After a round one of no upsets, we had Pogiboys take down top seeded Team Grrrrifiic behind a huge week from DeAndre Hopkins. Doomed by an untimely worst week by Saquon Barkley — plus Kareem Hunt’s bad mojo — Donny’s team wilted in the Western Conference finals as Pogiboys took advantage of a soft one-seed to make it to their third Super Bowl in six years.

Pooh Bears had a tougher matchup, as Matt Ryan, Alvin Kamara were almost enough to get Squirtle Squad the upset but Brian’s team was playing short-handed with Keenan Allen and kicker Aldrick Rosas coming up with zeros. Almost any other receiver -- or Jake Elliot as the kicker -- would have won Squirtles the day, but instead 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears slips into their fourth Super Bowl as the favorites. Let’s take a look at the matchups!

#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3)
It’s been five years since Pooh Bears have won a ring, and they are itching for another — potentially their third. Unfortunately for Pogiboys, that last 2013 Pooh title was won at their expense!

From that 2013 team, only Cam Newton and Antonio Brown remain for Pooh, while Pogiboys have completely revamped their roster since the days of Tom Brady, Calvin Johnson, and Eddie Lacy. The good news for Alvin is that this represents a redemptive chance to win their first ring and they’ve been in two Super Bowls recently, in 2013 and 2016. And while they are technically the lower seed, they have been much better over the past month, rarely dipping below 100+ points from WK8 on. During that same period, 100AW have failed to reach one hundred points four times.

QB: Pogiboys have two options here: potential NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes or recent breakout 2018 #1 overall NFL pick Baker Mayfield. Haha, okay, it’s gonna be Mahomes. The tougher decision will what J and Jayvee do at quarterback, as Cam Newton looks injured and it seems like Deshaun Watson would be the safer pick. Either way, Mahomes should outproduce anyone Pooh can put into the lineup. Hopefully.

RB: It’s Ezekiel Elliot and David Johnson versus Tarik Cohen and rookie second-half sensation Nick Chubb. It would seem that Pooh’s Elliot and Johnson have the edge but all four backs have shown the ability for big games. Right now Ezekiel has been consistently better than the other three so we’ll give the advantage to Pooh Bears on the ground.

WR/TE: Hopkins literally won Pogiboys their matchup last week and it would be greedy to ask for another thirty-point explosion. Ditto for Doug Baldwin who caught two touchdowns last week — from the bench, since Dede Westbrook was the starter opposite Hopkins. Who gets the call at WR #2 for Pogi? It won't really matter since the pass catcher who needs to have a huge game is Travis Kelce, since that would mean Mahomes is having a similarly robust weekend.

Of course, Pooh is countering with Antonio Brown and Mike Evans, two top-ten receivers who could blow up any matchup in their own right. The drop off from Kelce versus David Njoku at tight end is too big to ignore though, so receiving edge to Pogis.

DEF/K: I can’t tell. The scoring is so wild this year that frankly, every DST is a toss up as far as I’m concerned. I guess on paper Bears defense and Stephen Gostkowski out-classes Vikings and Will Lutz? Khalil Mack and Co. get to feast on Nick Mullens though, so let’s just give Pogiboys the edge here.

Intangibles: 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears have an overall record of 125-69-1 (64.1%) since 2004, but Morrie’s Pogiboys are just a bit better at 132-59-4 (67.7%) over the past fifteen years. Pooh Bears have also dominated Ohana to the tune of ten division titles while Pogiboys have done the same to The Big House, with twelve division crowns of their own. In addition, both Pooh and Pogi have led the league in regular season wins four times each. If you’re asking, "yes, these are the two best (regular season) teams in Maize and Blue history."

So what separates them? Well, to put it kindly: 100AW Pooh Bears are winners. They’ve been to the Super Bowl in 2004, 2007, 2013, and now 2018, emerging with two rings so far. Pogiboys haven’t gotten a ring despite their 2013, 2015, and 2018 appearances. Not to mention, Pooh Bears won our inaugural Toilet Bowl in 2015 -- resulting in Elliot -- the only year they’ve entered it. Basically, Pooh Bears win, Pogiboys lose...

If there is justice in the world, Mahomes and Kelce go off for 60+ combined points and Alvin can have a celebratory Sunday evening as he watches his team finally grab a championship!

Playoffs & Toilet Bowl 2018: RD2

In what is likely a first, no higher seed was toppled in either the playoffs or Toilet Bowl. Pretty boring right? The good news is we'll get to see our best teams go at it for the right to showdown in the Super Bowl!

Eastern Conference Finals, RD2

• #1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #2 Squirtle Squad (9-4)

Western Conference Finals, RD2

• #1 Team Grrrrrific (11-2) vs #2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3)

Just so it's clear, I updated the rules to say "Toilet Bowl is not conference exclusive, so we re-seed #9-16 regardless of conference. However, we keep the same matchups regardless of upsets, and don't re-shuffle each round. Ex) If #16 seed upsets #9 in RD1, they don't have to face #10 in RD2."

Toilet Bowl RD2

#1 Fockers (7-5) vs #4 Italian Stallionz (5-8)

#2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) vs #3 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7)

Toilet Bowl 2018: RD1

#1 Fockers (7-5) vs #8 P Funk All Stars (1-12)
Another winning record, another year in the Toilet Bowl. That makes two seasons in a row that Fockers have landed out of the postseason despite a good enough regular season. Heck, they won their 2016 title on the strength of a 7-6 record! A victim of a particularly strong Eastern conference did what they could but came down the stretch run with a 0-2-1 record and that pushed them out. The good news is that this team really could use a high draft pick, as the bottom fell out this year aside from all-world Davante Adams catching passes from Ben Roethlisberger and Andrew Luck. With Le’Veon Bell a season long no-show and Matt Breida getting injured the past month, the Fockers run game is in shambles. As the top seed in the Toilet Bowl, Fockers will hope to pilot themselves to a #1 overall pick.

Luckily, a first round win seems likely as Fockers will face off against one-win P Funk, who is almost aggressively tanking yet another season. Injuries were an issue for this team — Marshawn Lynch, Cooper Kupp, and Martavis Bryant all end the season on IR — but there were numerous examples of players who were in the lineup and unable to play. Add in plenty of mismanagement by Paolo over the bye weeks, and it’s surprising this team even got one victory. Averaging just 61.3 per game, it would seem a minor miracle if P Funk pulled off an upset here. Could the fans be clamoring for new ownership?!

#2 Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) vs #7 Mandalorian Warriors (2-11)
Ouroboros slipped their way into the playoffs last season and made some noise but it looks like a return to the playoffs won’t be in the cards for this long inept franchise. Despite owning the best fantasy player in the universe, Todd Gurley, Ouroboros couldn’t pull out one win their last month of games and will enter the Toilet Bowl as a deflated high seed. The pre-draft trade for 2018 1.5, Calvin Ridley, worked out well but after that there was almost no other successes to speak of aside from Gurley and Ridley -- and arguably a fleet of young-ish backs. I guess it’s back to the bottom for this team that made a surprise Super Bowl run last season.

Who’s the most intriguing team in Maize and Blue right now? May we present the 2020+ Mandalorian Warriors?! By our count, Mandalorian has engaged in eight trades this season, mostly of the player for future draft pick variety. GM Matt is going for a full on rebuild and dynasty build by shipping off any player that is remotely productive now for future prospects. After going 1-11 all season, it was a bit of a shock to see Warriors pick up a win in WK13, after the entire roster had been stripped for parts all year long. The bench features seven players on IR/Out and the “star” here is Jameis Winston. This is the greatest long term planning in MnB history and we’re excited to see where it ends up, if Warriors can pick up another title before the 2022 season!

#3 Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7) vs #6 Jedi Knights (4-9)
Hey, six wins means Xur eclipsed their win total from the last two seasons combined! No more "worst record in the league!" Combine the emergence of sophomores Christian McCaffrey and Kenny Golladay, plus a breakout season from Jared Cook, and the Armada is trending up. Heck, even Mike's gamble for 2018 1.3 Josh Gordon mostly worked out as the repeat offender found himself in a great new situation. So while the high end for Xur is still not quite there yet, finishing strong with a 2-1 end to the regular season gives this fan base some hope, which is more than they had in recent years.

As for Jedi, it’s official: they suck. After three straight years of four wins, five wins, and four wins, this once contending franchise is on the ropes. A 3-2 start this year devolved into a 1-7 finish and facing the second-toughest PA in the league didn’t help Jedis much, as opponents scored 91.9 points per game against them. To add insult to injury, their leading scorer this season, Emmanuel Sanders, just torn his ACL in practice. Oh but there is good news here, as GM Chris has unearthed the young quarterback combo of Mitchell Trubisky and Lamar Jackson, and one of them should replace Tom Brady, who was a disappointment this year after being acquired for future picks pre-draft. The real gem this season has been Phillip Lindsay, as the Bronco evolved into one of the top rookie runners -- Chris moved two future firsts for Lindsay back in October. With a few more savvy moves, Jedi could be back on top soon despite their recent dry spell.

#4 Italian Stallionz (5-8) vs #5 Another Bad Creation (4-9)
These Stallionz are stuck in a quagmire as they’ve failed to top 0.500 in four consecutive seasons. Five wins is better than last year’s four but that’s incremental progress at best. A WK3-WK6 losing streak did this team in and Porta’s team whimpered down the end with 47.5 and 55 points scored to close the regular season. There should be some juice in the Aaron Rodgers to Tyreek Hill combination but a mostly struggling run game has been this team’s Achilles heel as they’ve rotated through Tevin Coleman, Chris Carson, now injured Alex Collins (drafted RD1.4), Austin Ekeler, Doug Martin, and Jamaal Williams. We hope Stallionz can make some noise in the Toilet Bowl because a nice young runner could really help this team get out of the cellar.

The defending Knights Who Say Ni division champs took a fall this season after tying for the most wins in MnB last year. 96.2 PA is what happened! While ABC put up a respectable 96.5 PF, they just couldn’t find much consistency all season as they boom and busted all over the place. There were injuries to be sure, mostly notably Leonard Fournette for most of the season. Without him, and with rookie Kerryon Johnson barely used, there was no ground game to speak of this year. The good news is, when ABC is on, they can cook. With Fournette back off one-game suspension, there is an impressive passing attack of Kirk Cousins, Michael Thomas, Brandin Cooks, newly revived Amari Cooper (acquired mid-season for Greg Kittle), Stefon Diggs, and Jordan Reed. During the last seven weeks, Oliver’s team has only dipped below 87.5 PF once, and we think they’re the dark horse to take the Toilet Bowl if they can string some consistent games together.

Playoffs 2018: RD1

EASTERN CONFERENCE
#1 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) vs #4 Stink Pink Gators (8-5)
The kings of the East racked up their tenth division title — their third-straight — and Pooh Bears are positioned once again to make a deep run in the playoffs. After getting upset in the first round twice in a row though, J and Jayvee have to be wary of what lurks ahead and won’t be taking any matchups for granted. They are on a 5-0-1 streak to end the regular season and average a MnB second-best 103.9 points per week. Ezekiel Elliot has been incredible over the past month, plus a semi-bounceback season from David Johnson, so there’s still too much talent on this team not to be afraid of Pooh Bears. Elliot, Antonio Brown, Mike Evans, and a wonderful season from Cam Newton make this the Eastern Conference’s team to fear!

Pulling off a 8-5 record despite a PF/PA split of 1168/1174 is not easy. That’s now two playoff appearances in a row for our sophomore owner and Dave will get the chance for a huge upset if they can pull themselves together for one more big week. Stink Pink came out of the gates red hot with six wins in seven tries — as well as seven 100+ PF in eight games — but have faded down the stretch some. The loss of AJ Green was obviously a huge blow mid-season, as was quickly losing pre-draft trade acquisition Jay Ajayi earlier in the year, but that alone can’t explain Gators’ dip. Still, with Carson Wentz throwing to Adam Thielen, Zach Ertz, and Jarvis Landry, an upset could be possible!

#2 Squirtle Squad (9-4) vs #3 Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5)
Squirtle took out the top seed last year and find themselves facing off against the defending champs! After starting off 1-3, Brian has piloted this team to an 8-1 record the rest of the way and bolstered the roster through a handful of trades — mostly with Mandalorian Warriors. Squirtles picked up Duke Johnson, Juju Smith-Schuster, Matt Ryan, and James White at the Mandalorian Megamart, and George Kittle from Another Bad Creation. After losing James Connor — and Jimmy Garoppolo much earlier — Squad has replaced every moving part and is going to ride Alvin Kamara and his built on-the-fly contender into the playoffs. We love Brian’s aggression and hope it all works out as it’s been a looooong Super Bowl drought for Squirtles.

Not every defending champ gets the chance to defend their title in the postseason but Sweep the Leg Zabka has even picked up another Green and White division title by H2H tie-breaker over Stink Pink Gators to get their back-to-back journey off right. A 5-1 record to finish up the regular season means Zabka is in fighting form and looking for an elusive Maize and Blue repeat! It’s been a tough season too, as a slew of injuries have hit this team and Alan has had to unearth guys like Jared Cook and Tyler Boyd while Rob Gronkowski and Marvin Jones sat down. Drew Brees and Odell Beckham have really kept the champs afloat and there’s going to have to be more of that to get Zabka back to a Super Bowl.

WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Team Grrrrrific (11-2) vs #8 Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7)
Our best team in 2018 used a league wide low PA paired with a fourth-ranked PF to rise from the depths of a 4-9 record last season to top of the charts this year! In just his second year, Donny has vaulted in the standings. Oh yeah, did we mention he won the Toilet Bowl last year and drafted Saquon Barkley? That probably had a lot to do with Grrrrific’s leap to the top. Donny was also proactive in recently trading for Russell Wilson, replacing IR-ed Andy Dalton in the lineup, shoring up that roster hole. However, the real issue facing Grrrrific is that Kareem Hunt has been cut by the Chiefs for physical violence and there’s also OJ Howard and Will Fuller on IR as well. Can Saquon, Wilson, Robert Woods, and a stiff Texans defense do enough to stave off upsets? Or will the karma from the Hunt fiasco tank this team? After starting out 0-2 and ripping off eleven straight wins and counting, we’re curious how this plays out for Donny.

Bamfers secured a third straight playoff appearance by taking out Ouroboros in WK13 behind a late surge from Golden Tate. After suffering through a five loss streak between WK7-11, Randy’s team pulled it all together for two solid wins. The big question now is what happens to Melvin Gordon and his health, as Bamfers would be left with only rookie Sony Michel in the backfield if Gordon can’t go. It’s been an up and down season for Bamfers but maybe Philip Rivers can deliver some postseason magic and get a huge upset here! (Congrats to Bamfers for edging my team out of the playoffs. My Slack overtures for Randy to lose WK13 were totally ignored…good play, good play)

#2 MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3) vs #7 Team Cameltoe (7-6)
After two nine-win seasons, Pogiboys came up with another double digit win season, as well as their fourth straight Big House division title — their twelfth overall. No pressure but this could be the best shot for Pogiboys in awhile to win a long coveted ring, as they led the league in PF at 106.7 per game, enter the postseason having won five of their last six, and also face a weakened number-one seed in their conference. If the emergence of Patrick Mahomes, Tarik Cohen, and rookie Nick Chubb (acquired via trade in October) — along with Travis Kelce and DeAndre Hopkins — can’t get Pogiboys a ring, well, it’s going to be another long offseason for Alvin…

What a strange season for Cameltoe as they started off 1-4, ripped off six straight wins, and then faltered down the stretch to lose their last two. Still, Felipe has used the Jared Goff to Julio Jones and Eric Ebron combo to return Cameltoe to the playoffs after a two year drought — and shipped off former franchise savior Russell Wilson during the season. They’ll be up against a tough challenge though, as they were shellacked by first round matchup Pogiboys last week, but maybe can take faith that they rose to the occasion in WK7 and scored 128.5 in a win vs Alvin’s team. Still, for at frachise that is often under 0.500, 2018's 7-6 record has to count as a win for Cameltoe already.

Power Rankings 2018

PLAYOFF TEAMS
1. Team Grrrrrific (11-2)  - The Knights Who Say Ni Division Champion.  Best Overall Record.
2. MoRRie’s Pogiboys (10-3) - The Big House Division Champion.  Next best overall record.
3. 100 Acre Wood Pooh Bears (9-3-1) - Ohana Division Champion.  Next best overall record.
4. Squirtle Squad (9-4) - Next best overall record.
5. Sweep the Leg Zabka (8-5) - Green and White Division Champion.  Wins tiebreak over Stink Pink Gators via H2H.
6. Stink Pink Gators (8-5) - Next best overall record.
7. Team Cameltoe (7-6) - Next best overall record
8. Ann Arbor Bamfers (6-7) - Wins tiebreak vs Ouroboros via Conference Record (6-4 vs 4-6).

NON-PLAYOFF TEAMS
9. * Fockers (7-5) - Next best overall record among non-playoff teams
10. Hungry Hungry Ouroboros (6-7) - Wins tiebreak over Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada via Total Points For.
11. Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada (6-7) - Next best overall record.
12. Italian Stallionz (5-8) - Next best overall record
13. Another Bad Creation (4-9) - Wins tiebreak over Jedi Knights via Total Points For.
14. Jedi Knights (4-9) - Next best overall record
15. Mandalorian Warriors (2-11) - Next best overall record
16. P Funk All Stars (1-12) - Next best overall record

Final Standings 2018

Full Standings Detail

Who Won: Fournette/Hunt or Cook/Mixon?

Remember two years ago when Hungry Ouroboros traded away two rookie running backs for two other ones? How’d that work out? Well, with Kareem Hunt cut by the Chiefs and possibly out of the league — although probably not because the NFL is evil — experts can finally weigh in and say that Ouroboros won ID220 trade!

Of course, Hunt had a stellar rookie season and was also ranked eighth this year, while Cook has been injured most of his career and has only put up 950 combined rushing/receiving yards with three career touchdowns. So fine, Hunt is still the winner here. Sigh.

• #218: Another Bad Creation receive 2017 RD1.1 Leonard Fournette from Hungry Ouroboros for 2017 RD1.5 Joe Mixon and 2018 RD1.7 Ronald Jones
• #220: Hungry Ouroboros receive 2017 RD1.3 Dalvin Cook and Jay Cutler from Team Grrrrific in exchange for 2017 RD1.6 Kareem Hunt, Tyrod Taylor

And how about Fournette for Mixon? That fares slightly better as Fournette has been out most of the year while Mixon has been chugging along, but there’s no question Fournette has had the better upside and career so far, despite his recent suspension. Career-wise it’s 1,924 combined yards and ten touchdowns in twenty-four games for Mixon while Fournette has put up 1,790 combined with fifteen touchdowns in eighteen games. Throw in the following year’s pick of Ronald Jones and it still doesn't match up.

Of course, the real answer to “who was the best rookie running back drafted from 2017 looks like it was Christian McCaffery, who was drafted RD1.3 and actually the real real answer is "Alvin Kamara," taken at RD2.5 by Squirtle Squad. Fantasy football is the best. 😬